Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:
GRADUATION DAZE
There once was a student named Bob
Who stood out from the mortarboard mob;
Now he’s got his diploma,
But he’s caught in a coma
‘Cause he can’t find a well-paying job.
From the archive:
RE: ORIENTATION
Fully formed are your heart, soul, and mind
With the facts of a faith well defined.
Now we send you to college,
Where a secular “knowledge”
Will ensure that belief’s undermined.
(2005)
GRAD SONG
The student goes to college
And an education forges,
But I fed too much
On knowledge and such,
And now my brain disgorges:
Within the dark and dismal class,
You’ll no longer spot my features.
My notes I burned,
And since I’ve learned
What I never could from teachers.
(2004)
QUEENS COLLEGE
“Your report card’s created a fuss
With your father and me: Both of us
Are a little bit leery
Of this course called ‘Queer Theory’
— And the fact that you got an A-plus.”
(2002)
GRADUATION DEITY
No religious beliefs were expressed
In his valedictorian address,
But he feigned an “achoo!”
And his classmates on cue
In unison shouted “God bless!”
(2002)
FRESHMAN ORIENTATION
Students headed for college each fall
Have to keep their opinions in thrall:
It’s essential to be
Perceived as “PC,”
So they try not to speak up at all.
(1999)
FAILING MARX
Socialism is dead!
Done in, the indomitable Red!
Or so it would seem,
But in academe
One had better check under one’s bed.
(1998)
Last week’s limerick:
SUPREME INDIFFERENCE
Should our judges be judged by their gender,
Or the justness of verdicts they render?
Should we reckon their race,
Or their ken in a case
As a strict Constitution defender?