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  • Jul 15 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: UNUM

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

UNUM
We must do what our duties demand
To preserve this exceptional land,
To make sure we’re united
And never divided,
’Cause a house that’s divided can’t stand.

From the archive

E PLURIBUS
Our last names may be Hess, Hock, or Harrigan,
Federov, Feldstein, or Farrakhan,
MacDonald, Mandina,
Nguyen, Wong, Kim, or Pena,
But we’re one and we’re all all-American.
(2016)

BLANK LIKE ME
Census takers who tally my head
Will not know if I’m black, white, or red:
Because, in the space
To designate race,
I’ll inscribe the word “human” instead.
(2000)

PREFIXATION
Adding Euro- and Afro- won’t do:
Ethnic conflict will only ensue.
No hyphen for me:
I’m happy to be
An American through and through.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

GAME OVER
Though the traitors are trying to spin
In an effort to save their own skin,
They’ve no right to be bitter,
Should stop posting on Twitter,
And then man up and turn themselves in.

  • Jul 08 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: GAME OVER

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

GAME OVER
Though the traitors are trying to spin
In an effort to save their own skin,
They’ve no right to be bitter,
Should stop posting on Twitter,
And then man up and turn themselves in.

From the archive

CLUB GITMO
Will they swig rum & cokes and cavort?
The Obamas and Clintons report
They’ll be spending “vacay”
In Guantanamo Bay
At a very exclusive resort.
(2018)

RIGHT ON Q
Though for months it has seemed like a dud,
The drip-dropping will soon be a flood,
And the things we will hear
As elections draw near:
Dirty Democrats covered in mud!
(2018)

SLOW DEATH
As investigators make connections,
Dirty Democrats face rejections:
Their poll numbers will slip
As the facts drip, drip –
Right on up to the general elections.
(2018)

WELL, DUH!
I had never the slightest confusion
And came easily to this conclusion,
Needing no one to show me
It was Mueller and Comey
With the Clintons engaged in collusion.
(2017)

URANIUM ONE
To avoid an erroneous conclusion,
Let’s begin by dispelling confusion:
It was Hillary who took
Russian bribes like a crook,
It was Hillary engaged in collusion.
(2017)

ONE LAW
Equal justice is our paradigm
And applies to commission of crime.
That’s why Comey and Lynch
Should both feel the “pinch”
And Obama and Clinton do time.
(2017)

Last week’s limerick

DEBATE BUCKET
Beto, Buttigieg, Biden, and Booker,
Castro, Gillibrand, Gabbard the looker,
Warren, Klobuchar, Sanders:
Every single one panders,
As do Swalwell and Harris the hooker.

  • Jul 01 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: DEBATE BUCKET

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

DEBATE BUCKET
Beto, Buttigieg, Biden, and Booker,
Castro, Gillibrand, Gabbard the looker,
Warren, Klobuchar, Sanders:
Every single one panders,
As do Swalwell and Harris the hooker.

From the archive

NOTA
Two dozen Dems vie for domination
To see who can get the nomination,
But whomever they choose
The Democrats lose
Because every one’s an abomination.
(2019)

BERN WARD
“Bernie Sanders, I’m on your team!
It’s so cool you look like ‘The Scream’!
You can bet I would cast
My vote for you fast
If I wasn’t still under eighteen!”
(2016)

BERN, BABY, BERN!
If you’re fired up by someone who panders
To ignorant, idle demanders,
Then place your hope
In a misanthrope:
The self-avowed socialist Sanders.
(2016)

WORST FIRSTS
All those firsts were considered quite foreign
‘Til the day we ostensibly swore in
The first Catholic, Jack,
The first black man, Barack,
The first Native American, Warren.
(2015)

MR. PRECEDENT
What a vile conglomeration
Of every abomination:
In Clinton’s wake,
Only villains will make
A bid for the nomination.
(1999)

Last week’s limerick

SOME FOUNDATION
Now at last we are hearing the knell
For a devilish global cartel
Dealing drugs, arms, and kids
And horrific snuff vids:
Is there anything Clintons won’t sell?

  • Jun 24 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: SOME FOUNDATION

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SOME FOUNDATION
Now at last we are hearing the knell
For a devilish global cartel
Dealing drugs, arms, and kids
And horrific snuff vids:
Is there anything Clintons won’t sell?

From the archive

IF IT PROSPER
All the sins of the Clintons are bared,
Yet you’d think not a single soul cared,
But we know what’s the reason
None dare call it treason:
They’re complicit, complacent, or scared.
(2018)

FROM ‘RUSSIA’ WITH LOVE
Short-term goal: Infiltrate and derail
And make sure Donald Trump can’t prevail;
Mission code name: No Drama;
Agent: Double Obama;
Long-term goal: Keep us all out of jail.
(2018)

URANIUM ONE
To avoid an erroneous conclusion,
Let’s begin by dispelling confusion:
It was Hillary who took
Russian bribes like a crook,
It was Hillary engaged in collusion.
(2017)

WHY? WHY? WHY?
“Is it all the untrue things I’ve said?
Is it that I look more than half-dead?
That I’m guilty of treason,
Could that be the reason?
Is that why I am not way ahead?”
(2016)

$PEECHE$
She’s about as exciting as clay
And has nothing of interest to say,
But the muckety-mucks
Give her millions of bucks
’Cause they know that they must pay to play.
(2016)

CASHIFIED INFORMATION
“For accelerated authorization
With regard to above application:
To ensure I approve you,
It might well behoove you
To kick in to my family foundation.”
(2015)

WICKED
Through years the graft extends
And favors for their “friends”:
They plundered like Vandals,
Now Hillary’s scandals
Are burning at both ends.
(2015)

BELLE OF BENGHAZI
The worst candidates money can buy
Are the ones psychopathically sly,
So inherently truthless,
Self-absorbedly ruthless
They don’t care when their countrymen die.
(2014)

INSIDE JOB
Having failed in a decades-long try,
An appreciative communist spy
Pays a due compliment
To our own President
For destroying the FBI.
(1998)

CLINTONIAN DIPLOMACY
“We’ll supply whatsoever you need
To ensure your armed forces succeed,
And we won’t make a fuss
If you use them on us,
’Cause our sole motivation is greed.
(1998)

SOLITARY ASSURED DESTRUCTION
Has Bill taken leave of his senses,
Dismantling all our defenses
And providing resources
To enemy forces
Regardless of consequences?
(1998)

THEY’RE PLAYING OUR SONG
Our nation is destined for grief
If our leader has no fixed belief
And conclusions are drawn
As to whose side he’s on
When China plays “Hail to the Chief!”
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

PSYCHO LOGICAL
As can now be convincingly shown,
Every mass shooter’s mindset is known:
Though he may be insane,
He will still use his brain
And decide to attack gun-free zones.

  • Jun 17 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle PSYCHO LOGICAL

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

PSYCHO LOGICAL
As can now be convincingly shown,
Every mass shooter’s mindset is known:
Though he may be insane,
He will still use his brain
And decide to attack gun-free zones.

From the archive

RABID RESPONSE
We hear calls for the banning of guns
Every time a mass murderer stuns,
But if bombs, cars, or knives
Have claimed multiple lives,
We hear calls for the banning of guns.
(2018)

THINK!
Before going all in, why not pause
To research pros and cons of your “cause”?
For example, inquire
Why the murder rate’s higher
In the cities with gun-control laws.
(2017)

ARMS & THE MANDATE
What the Second Amendment defends
Is a right on which all else depends:
To resist subjugation
Of ourselves and our nation
And live free as our Maker intends.
(2016)

PROTECTED CLASS
“When all private gun ownership’s barred,
I’m sure giving up mine won’t be hard:
I’ll be safe as before,
And perhaps even more –
’Cause I’ll have a well-armed bodyguard.”.
(2013)

CONTROLLING PERSONALITY
Though the news out of Newtown was grim,
Mayor Bloomberg’s reaction was dim.
Why we keep and bear arms?
To respond to alarms
And protect us from tyrants like him.
(2012)

FULL DISCLOSURE
A stripper deemed too independent
Was called into court as defendant;
She said of her charms:
“I’ve the right ‘to bare arms’;
It’s enshrined in the Second Amendment.”
(2002)

TOO SAFE
“Wake up, Dear, go downstairs, and look!
I heard a strange noise in the nook!”
“Where’s the key to the lock
On my .380 Glock?”
“Oh, I hung it somewhere on a hook!”
(1999)

WITNESS FOR THE DEFENSE
Anyone who cannot be persuaded
That our gun rights must not be degraded
Should inquire of the Swiss,
Who are armed and don’t miss,
Why it is that they’re never invaded.
(1998)

BETTER READY THAN DEAD
Here’s a survey that needs to be done
On the merits of having a gun:
Ask anyone harmed
By a thug who was armed
If he wishes he, too, had had one.
(1997)

Last week’s limerick

BYE BYE, BIRDIE
“I never was a quitter
And I’m not the least bit bitter,
But, if I can’t say
Things in my own way,
Then I’m giving up on Twitter.”

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