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  • Sep 19 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: AHEM

ahem

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

AHEM
“This whole issue’s asinine [COUGH]
And there isn’t any sign [COUGH]
Of anything wrong,
So let’s move along:
My physician says I’m fine [COUGH].”

From the archive

OBAMACARE
“We would never overtly deny
Any care we’re prepared to supply;
If we do have to ration,
With a practiced compassion
We’ll decide who deserves most to die.”
(2009)

GOOD GRIEF
“Now, children, please don’t cry.
It’s time to say goodbye.
Today’s the day
We booked in May:
It’s Grandma’s turn to die.”
(2009)

IN THE DOGHOUSE
“My poor siblings and I are so sad:
He’s the best friend that we ever had,
With a heart of pure gold,
But he has gotten old,
And it’s time that we euthanize Dad.”
(2009)

Last week’s limerick

JOHNSON
Gary knows what is a depot,
Gary knows what is a Zeppo,
But it’s plain to show
Gary doesn’t know
What the hell on earth’s a leppo.

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  • Sep 14 / 2016
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A Message from Bill Whittle

whittleHi everybody.

As many of you know by now, footage of Hillary Clinton collapsing at the 9/11 ceremony is sweeping the country. The only reason we know about this – the ONLY reason – is because two citizens with smartphones happened to be on the scene. We also know that major news outlets – CNN in particular – cut away live from anyone or any event that shows Hillary Clinton in a bad light.

Because of those two citizens, this woman’s critical health issues are front-page news despite the media’s refusal to look into the story; despite, in fact, that they know very well how sick she has been and for a long time.

Those of you who have followed my work for a while know how energetically, indeed, vehemently, I attack the ludicrous conspiracy theories that are plaguing modern culture. So with that said, there is no question in my mind that the entire Clinton campaign is a deliberate conspiracy on the part of the Clintons, the DNC, major media outlets, and several top-level government officials.

They are colluding because for reasons known and unknown in order to get this woman elected AT ALL COSTS. They are fully aware of how sick this woman really is, and that she has suffered from some major condition for years, if not decades. They have decided, on your behalf, that a woman showing clear signs of neurological damage, confusion and debilitating physical weakness is going to be our next President and that the increasing evidence that she is physically (not to mention morally) unfit to hold office is none of your damn business.

Does that make you angry? It makes me furious. So I’ll be shooting a new Firewall about this tomorrow, but it was only yesterday that I fully realized that BillWhittle.com and the others on our team are no longer the “alternative media.” WE ARE THE NEWS MEDIA. It’s giants like CNN and all the rest – dinosaurs with hundreds of millions of dollars – that are the alternate media now. They are not in the news business. They are in the news suppression business.

This week, I am going to make an episode of all of our members-only programming available to everyone: Time Over Target, the Nexus Report, News, Actually and our two members-only additional Right Angle shows. We put a great deal of effort into these members-only programs as a way of expressing our thanks to those people who have become Citizen Producers. But our members know, as do we here in the office, that these benefits are not the reason they became members. They became members because this is the best pro-freedom, pro- American political messaging available anywhere, and they want to make sure that the 50 million views we already have continue to grow.

Help us. We are going to be here through the election, and well, well beyond, trying to show and explain to a fundamentally good and honest American people just how badly they have been lied to, and for how long. It’s not going to be someone else who steps up now. If you love this country as much as I do, it will have to be you who joins us and helps us run these lying, treasonous, felonious thieves and liars right into the river.

Now is the time to hit back HARD. Click here to join us: https://www.billwhittle.com/membership

  • Sep 12 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: JOHNSON

johnson

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

JOHNSON
Gary knows what is a depot,
Gary knows what is a Zeppo,
But it’s plain to show
Gary doesn’t know
What the hell on earth’s a leppo.

Lagniappe

ON EAGLE’S WINGS
With firm faith in you, Lord, fill us.
With a patriot’s zeal, instill us.
Provide what we need
So that we may proceed
To follow the footsteps of Phyllis.

From the archive

EAGLE FORMULA
There’s a cure for the liberal bacillus
That’s invaded our system to kill us:
Overcome ERA
(In pill form or spray!)
With the powerful antigen “Phyllis.”
(2000)

Last week’s limerick

DEMOCRAT
What kind of a jughead or jerk
Sports a pious, self-satisfied smirk,
Does what’s destined to fail,
What can never avail,
And keeps doing it when it won’t work?

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  • Sep 05 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: DEMOCRAT

democrat

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

DEMOCRAT
What kind of a jughead or jerk
Sports a pious, self-satisfied smirk,
Does what’s destined to fail,
What can never avail,
And keeps doing it when it won’t work?

From the archive

TWITS
It may be just the biggest lie ever,
Making saner sorts say, “Well, I never!”
But celebrities tweet it
And you have to repeat it
If you want to sound current and clever.
(2014)

PROJECTIONISTS
It’s a simple, effective deceit:
Those called “racist” are doomed to defeat,
Yet the ones with most gall,
The most racist of all,
Are the pandering liberal elite.
(2014)

DETOX
Take the pledge and escape from its grip,
Nevermore from this moment a nip:
If you value your brain,
You must henceforth refrain
From the vile Mainstream Media drip.
(2014)

FIFTH COLUMN
Our brave battle for self-preservation
Must address the domestic predation
Of those traitors and fools
– All those socialist tools –
Who are hoping to change our great nation.
(2011)

THE BURROWERS
“Just like Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow,
We’re committed, determined, and thorough:
In the media, the schools,
With our radical rules,
We’re the moles that unceasingly burrow.”
(2011)

IN TOLERANCE
Left-wing radicals running our schools
Do great harm with their inverted rules:
They oppose every norm,
Reject custom and form,
And show deference to freaks and to fools.
(2007)

THE RULES
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
(2007)

THE LIBERAL
“You may think I’ve got rocks in my head
Or that maybe I’m even brain-dead,
But you needn’t complain
‘Cause I don’t use my brain:
I rely on emotions instead.”
(2004)

BIRDS OF A FEATHER
The media rarely deride
A President on the same side:
For the faithful defender
Of their social agenda,
They’re willing to let some things slide.
(1998)

SCHADENFREUDE
Why do liberals like to besmirch
Institutions confirmed by research
As conducive to wealth,
Happiness, and health –
Such as marriage, the family, and church?
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

SYSTEM
When a Democrat goes to the track,
He will always wind up in the black:
He considers it funny
That he’s betting our money
And will never pay anything back.

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  • Aug 29 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: SYSTEM

system
Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SYSTEM
When a Democrat goes to the track,
He will always wind up in the black:
He considers it funny
That he’s betting our money
And will never pay anything back.

From the archive

VACAY
“Going places together’s a drag
As Michelle and I’d rather go stag:
Either way, we both will
Rashly run up the bill
And leave taxpayers holding the bag.”
2013

FREELOADER
What began with such grand expectations
As a quest for the best destinations
Finds Michelle scaling back
When it’s up to Barack
To finance his own family’s vacations.
2012

DEADBEAT
“Oh, Barack, this is fabulous – still,
Can we really afford such a thrill?”
“Stop your worrying, honey,
It isn’t our money:
Someone else will be footing the bill.”
2011

ME SHELL
While the rest of us scrimp all the time,
She displays an indifference sublime:
Our First Lady, Michelle,
Does exceedingly well
As she travels the world on our dime.
2010

ABARACKADABRA
Some magicians do mental spoon-bending
Or assistants in mid-air suspending,
But Barack has a trick
That is even more slick:
He can balance a budget by spending!
2009

OBAMANOMICS
They have money to disburse
That they’ve taken from our purse:
Those who made the big mess,
Turning more into less,
Will now solve it by making it worse.
2009

$700,000,000,000
If the bailout’s astronomical bill
Is a bitter and hard-swallowed pill,
We know things will be fine
With the banks kept in line
By the spendthrifts on Capitol Hill.
2008

Last week’s limerick

WHITE HOUSE OR BUST
She must win to achieve absolution.
If she loses, she’ll face retribution.
If she isn’t elected,
She will soon be subjected
To indictments and swift prosecution.

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  • Aug 22 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: WHITE HOUSE OR BUST

whitehouseorbust

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

WHITE HOUSE OR BUST
She must win to achieve absolution.
If she loses, she’ll face retribution.
If she isn’t elected,
She will soon be subjected
To indictments and swift prosecution..

From the archive

LYNCHPIN
“Don’t worry,” said Bill, “it’s a cinch.
We just need to hang tough and not flinch.
How can acts be illicit
When the boss is complicit
And our friend will come through in a pinch?”
(2016)

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
If she happens to win, what then?
Where will Hillary be sworn in?
Will she be inaugurated
Where she’s incarcerated:
In her cell in a federal pen?
(2016)

HILLARY’S CONVICTION
The First Lady’s a post-modern wife
In responding to marital strife:
She’ll stand by her man
As long as she can,
‘Cause it’s better than “20 to Life.”
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

SELF-CRITICISM
His objections to Trump are so grim
And he makes them with venomous vim,
But Obama misspeaks
‘Cause his cranky critiques
Are more aptly descriptive of him.

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