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  • Nov 11 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: BAD END

BAD END
In a limerick, it’s a crime
If the last line doesn’t rhyme
With the first and the second,
But I say, what the heck! and
Epstein didn’t kill himself.

From the archive

HEDGE FUND
Epstein’s service is access to kids
And it all is recorded on vids:
Jeffrey’s “friends” soon know
There’s a quid pro quo,
And they do whatever he bids.
(2019)

INCOMPLETE LIMERICK
You may think that I’m pulling a prank,
But I’m trying my best to be frank:
In my search for a rhyme
I have run out of time,
So you’ll just have to fill in the ___.
(2000)

Last week’s limerick

DISORIENTED
“Halloween, back in China, we knew
To ask some costumed kids, ‘Who are you?’
Though it’s plain as can be
That they’re dressed up as Xi,
They might say that they’re Winnie the Pooh.”

  • Nov 04 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: DISORIENTED

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

DISORIENTED
“Halloween, back in China, we knew
To ask some costumed kids, ‘Who are you?’
Though it’s plain as can be
That they’re dressed up as Xi,
They might say that they’re Winnie the Pooh.”

From the archive

TOO MUCH WINNIE
Xi Jinping likes to act like he’s tough,
But his bluster is nothing but bluff:
He’s a dictator who
Is frightened by Pooh!
Who’s afraid of a bear stuffed with fluff?
(2018)

BROKE IN CHINA
Though they say that we owe them much debt,
They discount intellectual theft:
Just subtract what they stole,
We’ll be paid up in whole –
With a deficit due from them left.
(2018)

CHINESE BANDITS
We are told that our nation’s in debt
And our balance of trade is upset,
But our deficit’s swollen
Because China has stolen
All American goods it could get.
(2012)

CHINA PATTERN
“We will tar fossil fuels as ‘unclean,’
Promote other resources as ‘green.’
There’s a catch, which, of course, is
That those greener resources
Are controlled by our red war machine.”
(2011)

THEY’RE PLAYING OUR SONG
Our nation is destined for grief
If our leader has no fixed belief
And conclusions are drawn
As to whose side he’s on
When China plays “Hail to the Chief!”
(1998)

BILL IN A CHINA SHOP
Campaign prospects are more sunny
When the coffer’s full of money.
Leave it to Bill
To fill the till
With money that is funny!
(1996)

RIADY OR NOT, HERE WE COME!
“Though funds that the DNC spent
Did arise in the Orient,
Our designs are disputable,
Lippo’s motives inscrutable —
Can you prove that we’re not innocent?”
(1996)

Last week’s limerick

TRIGGER TREAT
I had lots of ideas what to be,
But my costumes were all non-PC:
Halloween’s not so fun
When there’s so much to shun,
So I guess I’ll just dress up as me.

  • Oct 28 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: TRIGGER TREAT


Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

TRIGGER TREAT
I had lots of ideas what to be,
But my costumes were all non-PC:
Halloween’s not so fun
When there’s so much to shun,
So I guess I’ll just dress up as me.

From the archive

DON OF THE DEAD
Deep in Boondoggle Bog, the Beast thrives,
Until one day The Donald arrives.
“They are draining the swamp!”
She shrieks, running: clomp, clomp.
“He is coming! Run! Run for your lives!”
(2017)

HOLLOW WEENIE
“I may act like Elmer Fudd
And appear to be a dud,
But I’m truly spectacular,
The awesome Count Barackula,
And I want to suck your blood.”
(2011)

HOUSE OF HORRORS
By the demons we all have been taunted
As unnatural powers were flaunted,
But the townsfolk will rout
And then drive the fiends out
Of the House on the Hill that is haunted.
(2009)

GETTING WHAT WE ASK FOR
Halloween we all shout “Trick or Treat!”
As we hit every house on the street.
The next morning we wake
With a bad stomach ache,
‘Cause we had too much candy to eat.
(2009)

NANCYLVANIA
With the change in the House status quo, see
The new Madame Speaker Pelosi
Enduring the glare
With the crazed, glassy stare
Of a transgendered Bela Lugosi.
(2007)

NIGHT OF THE VOTING DEAD
“We’ll be summoned from slumberous state
To endorse the biennial slate;
Then it’s back to the grave,
Where we’ll try to behave
‘Til another electoral date!”
(2004)

THE GREAT BUMPKIN
Linus scans the nightscape scary
For a form imaginary:
There, looming tall
Like an orange ball,
Glows a pumpkin-colored Kerry!
(2004)

HILLAREEN
What compares to the horrible fright
That will haunt us on Halloween night?
Consider the fear,
As elections draw near,
Ghoulish candidates soon will excite!
(2003)

INAUGURAL NIGHT
Bush had plenty of sleep before,
Knowing now he will get no more,
With the clanking chain
And the cries of pain
From the ghost of a grieving Gore.
(2000)

RECOUNT DRACULA
There once was a man named Vlad
Who was known for a habit he had:
With such pride in his nailing,
When he took to impaling
No one ever would challenge his chad.
(2000)

MR. PRECEDENT
What a vile conglomeration
Of every abomination:
In Clinton’s wake,
Only villains will make
A bid for the nomination.
(1999)

WHAT IS IT, E-GORE?
The mad doctor was testing a drug
When he felt on his labcoat a tug:
“Master, oh Master,
We’ve got to work faster
To destroy the Millennium Bug!”
(1999)

ZOMBIES
From justice they craftily fled
And avoided the sanctions they dread;
Now O.J. and Bill
Can linger at will
In the night of the fast-living dead.
(1999)

Last week’s limerick

2020 VISION
Every “truth” in their credulous creed
Was instilled by the MSM feed:
How their heads will explode
When the false “facts” erode
And the real truth comes out at warp speed!



  • Oct 21 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: 2020 VISION

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

2020 VISION
Every “truth” in their credulous creed
Was instilled by the MSM feed:
How their heads will explode
When the false “facts” erode
And the real truth comes out at warp speed!

From the archive

APRIL FOOLS
“Mr. President, please don’t be mad.
We’re so sorry if we made you sad.
We were only just kidding
That you did Russia’s bidding.
It’s not like we did something bad.”
(2019)

TDS
Are these symptoms familiar to you:
Bulging eyes and pinched lips turning blue,
Heart a-pounding (thump thump)
At the mention of Trump,
Raw emotions and lowered IQ?
(2018)

ENEMEDIA
When you’re constantly taking sides
With a narrative that divides,
When you won’t play it straight
As the Fourth Estate,
You’ve surrendered your bona fides.
(2018)

HOGGWASH
“Receive our wisdom, peasants,
And be grateful for our presence
As your benefactors,”
Say anchors and actors,
Athletes, and adolescents.
(2018)

GATEKEEPERS
Academia’s vetting our views,
Mainstream media’s spinning our news,
But they seem to forget
That it’s all on the Net:
Their distortions are not what we choose.
(2017)

NEWS SURREAL
Mainstream media’s known to suffuse
Its reports with particular views:
With this bias abundant,
It’s absurdly redundant
To call what it offers “fake news.”
(2017)

SELF-ANOINTED
“How can anyone belie us
Or suggest we bear a bias?
Our head-tilted-back poses
Let you see up our noses,
Proving we’re ever so pious.”
(2017)

TWITS
It may be just the biggest lie ever,
Making saner sorts say, “Well, I never!”
But celebrities tweet it
And you have to repeat it
If you want to sound current and clever.
(2014)

PROJECTIONISTS
It’s a simple, effective deceit:
Those called “racist” are doomed to defeat,
Yet the ones with most gall,
The most racist of all,
Are the pandering liberal elite.
(2014)

DETOX
Take the pledge and escape from its grip,
Nevermore from this moment a nip:
If you value your brain,
You must henceforth refrain
From the vile Mainstream Media drip.
(2014)

FIFTH COLUMN
Our brave battle for self-preservation
Must address the domestic predation
Of those traitors and fools
– All those socialist tools –
Who are hoping to change our great nation.
(2011)

THE BURROWERS
“Just like Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow,
We’re committed, determined, and thorough:
In the media, the schools,
With our radical rules,
We’re the moles that unceasingly burrow.”
(2011)

THE RULES
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
(2007)

BIRDS OF A FEATHER
The media rarely deride
A President on the same side:
For the faithful defender
Of their social agenda,
They’re willing to let some things slide.
(1998)

THE JOURNALIST
In the past, he was forced to “pay dues”
And develop “a nose for the news.”
Well, he still has a nose,
But, my, how it grows
When the facts must conform to his views!
(1996)

INSTANT ANALYSIS
Jennings, Rather, Brokaw
Seem determined to jabber and jaw.
They think we’re too dumb
To discern the outcome
Of the campaign debate we just saw.
(1991)

Last week’s limerick

JOE BRIBIN’
“There’s no conflict for me or for Sonny –
That’s a fact, even if it sounds funny.
You can trust me,” says Joe,
“There was no quid pro quo
When we traded influence for money.”

  • Oct 14 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: JOE BRIBIN’


Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

JOE BRIBIN’
“There’s no conflict for me or for Sonny –
That’s a fact, even if it sounds funny.
You can trust me,” says Joe,
“There was no quid pro quo
When we traded influence for money.”

From the archive

SOME FOUNDATION
Now at last we are hearing the knell
For a devilish global cartel
Dealing drugs, arms, and kids
And horrific snuff vids:
Is there anything Clintons won’t sell?
(2019)

IF IT PROSPER
All the sins of the Clintons are bared,
Yet you’d think not a single soul cared,
But we know what’s the reason
None dare call it treason:
They’re complicit, complacent, or scared.
(2018)

FROM ‘RUSSIA’ WITH LOVE
Short-term goal: Infiltrate and derail
And make sure Donald Trump can’t prevail;
Mission code name: No Drama;
Agent: Double Obama;
Long-term goal: Keep us all out of jail.
(2018)

URANIUM ONE
To avoid an erroneous conclusion,
Let’s begin by dispelling confusion:
It was Hillary who took
Russian bribes like a crook,
It was Hillary engaged in collusion.
(2017)

WHY? WHY? WHY?
“Is it all the untrue things I’ve said?
Is it that I look more than half-dead?
That I’m guilty of treason,
Could that be the reason?
Is that why I am not way ahead?”
(2016)

$PEECHE$
She’s about as exciting as clay
And has nothing of interest to say,
But the muckety-mucks
Give her millions of bucks
’Cause they know that they must pay to play.
(2016)

CASHIFIED INFORMATION
“For accelerated authorization
With regard to above application:
To ensure I approve you,
It might well behoove you
To kick in to my family foundation.”
(2015)

WICKED
Through years the graft extends
And favors for their “friends”:
They plundered like Vandals,
Now Hillary’s scandals
Are burning at both ends.
(2015)

BELLE OF BENGHAZI
The worst candidates money can buy
Are the ones psychopathically sly,
So inherently truthless,
Self-absorbedly ruthless
They don’t care when their countrymen die.
(2014)

INSIDE JOB
Having failed in a decades-long try,
An appreciative communist spy
Pays a due compliment
To our own President
For destroying the FBI.
(1998)

CLINTONIAN DIPLOMACY
“We’ll supply whatsoever you need
To ensure your armed forces succeed,
And we won’t make a fuss
If you use them on us,
’Cause our sole motivation is greed.
(1998)

SOLITARY ASSURED DESTRUCTION
Has Bill taken leave of his senses,
Dismantling all our defenses
And providing resources
To enemy forces
Regardless of consequences?
(1998)

THEY’RE PLAYING OUR SONG
Our nation is destined for grief
If our leader has no fixed belief
And conclusions are drawn
As to whose side he’s on
When China plays “Hail to the Chief!”
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

MISS DEMEANOR
At Pelosi’s press conference today,
All attending asked, “What did she say?”
’Cause it sounded like “Trump
Constitutes a peach pump,
Russian rooster, and Biden bidet.”



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