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  • Feb 24 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: LOSERS


LOSERS
Bernie and Lizzie and Joe,
Petey and Amy all show
Zero potential
To be presidential:
This pathetic selection’s no-go.

From the archive

DEBATE BUCKET
Beto, Buttigieg, Biden, and Booker,
Castro, Gillibrand, Gabbard the looker,
Warren, Klobuchar, Sanders:
Every single one panders,
As do Swalwell and Harris the hooker.
(2019)

NOTA
Two dozen Dems vie for domination
To see who can get the nomination,
But whomever they choose
The Democrats lose
Because every one’s an abomination.
(2019)

BERN WARD
“Bernie Sanders, I’m on your team!
It’s so cool you look like ‘The Scream’!
You can bet I would cast
My vote for you fast
If I wasn’t still under eighteen!”
(2016)

BERN, BABY, BERN!
If you’re fired up by someone who panders
To ignorant, idle demanders,
Then place your hope
In a misanthrope:
The self-avowed socialist Sanders.
(2016)

WORST FIRSTS
All those firsts were considered quite foreign
‘Til the day we ostensibly swore in
The first Catholic, Jack,
The first black man, Barack,
The first Native American, Warren.
(2015)

MR. PRECEDENT
What a vile conglomeration
Of every abomination:
In Clinton’s wake,
Only villains will make
A bid for the nomination.
(1999)

Last week’s limerick

SHOWTIME
Please be patient, you’re in for a treat,
Grab some popcorn and find a good seat,
Soon the show will begin
And the good guys will win
As the bad guys go down to defeat.



  • Feb 17 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: SHOWTIME

SHOWTIME
Please be patient, you’re in for a treat,
Grab some popcorn and find a good seat,
Soon the show will begin
And the good guys will win
As the bad guys go down to defeat.

From the archive

COVFEFE MATE
Once impeachment is finally done,
We can then start to have some real fun,
Watching Democrats squirm
As the tables are turned
And they find that they’ve no place to run.
(2020)

HAIL, STORM!
Though it seemed it would never appear,
2020 is finally here:
When our victory is won
And the Deep State undone,
It will be such a glorious year!
(2019)

2020 VISION
Every “truth” in their credulous creed
Was instilled by the MSM feed:
How their heads will explode
When the false “facts” erode
And the real truth comes out at warp speed!
(2019)

Last week’s limerick

REPUGNANCY
When I urged her, “Put down your carafe,
Read this limerick, and have a good laugh,”
She made faces a lot,
Threw a fit like a tot,
And then stood up and tore it in half.

  • Feb 10 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: REPUGNANCY


REPUGNANCY
When I urged her, “Put down your carafe,
Read this limerick, and have a good laugh,”
She made faces a lot,
Threw a fit like a tot,
And then stood up and tore it in half.

From the archive

MadamSpeakerVille

UKRANIUM ONE
Of a scandal, there’s not been a whiff?
Biden, Kerry, Pelosi, and Schiff
All have ties to Ukraine
That they cannot explain:
It’s no longer a question of if.
(2020)

MISS DEMEANOR
At Pelosi’s press conference today,
All attending asked, “What did she say?”
’Cause it sounded like “Trump
Constitutes a peach pump,
Russian rooster, and Biden bidet.”
(2019)

NANCYLVANIA
With the change in the House status quo, see
The new Madame Speaker Pelosi
Enduring the glare
With the crazed, glassy stare
Of a transgendered Bela Lugosi.
(2007)

CINO
“If my actions make no sense,
I’ll say this in my defense:
I’m a psychopathic
Roman Catholic
Whose faith is mere pretense.”
(2003)

Last week’s limerick

COVFEFE MATE
Once impeachment is finally done,
We can then start to have some real fun,
Watching Democrats squirm
As the tables are turned
And they find that they’ve no place to run.



  • Feb 03 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: COVFEFE MATE

COVFEFE MATE
Once impeachment is finally done,
We can then start to have some real fun,
Watching Democrats squirm
As the tables are turned
And they find that they’ve no place to run.

Song parodies commissioned by PublicAdvocateUSA.org

GET A LYIN’ WHISTLER
When you get in trouble
And you don’t know right from wrong,
Get a lyin’ whistler, get a lyin’ whistler

When you meet temptation
And the urge is very strong
Get a lyin’ whistler, get a lyin’ whistler

Not just a little squeaker, a pucker up and blower
And if your whistler’s meek, yell
“We gotta impeach him!”

Right

Take the bent and crooked path
And if you start to slide
Get a lyin’ whistler, get a lyin’ whistler
And always let your conscience be denied

Take the bent and crooked path
And if you start to slide
Get a lyin’ whistler (yoo-hoo)
Get a lyin’ whistler (yoo-hoo)
And always let your conscience be denied
And always let your conscience be denied

I’LL BRING HOME IMPEACHMENT
I’ll bring home impeachment
You can count on me
I’ll have a show
With whistleblowers
And evidence fact-free

Impeachment’s end will find me
Where the spotlight gleams
I’ll bring home impeachment
If only in my dreams.

Last week’s limerick

LOOKS GOOD TO MEME
I’m reluctant to act like a rash wag,
But I’m anxious to launch a new hashtag
And to see my neat theme
Be the next viral meme –
If I don’t toss it into the trash bag.

  • Jan 27 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: LOOKS GOOD TO MEME

LOOKS GOOD TO MEME
I’m reluctant to act like a rash wag,
But I’m anxious to launch a new hashtag
And to see my neat theme
Be the next viral meme –
If I don’t toss it into the trash bag.

Song parodies commissioned by PublicAdvocateUSA.org

DAY DRINKER
Not a good Speaker
Pretending to be so devout
Not a good Speaker
Pretending to be so devout
She’s a day drinker
Loves her liquor, yeah
It takes her so long to dry out
We found out

She’s a big boozer
She’s not completely all there
She’s a big boozer
She’s not completely all there
She’s a day drinker, ETC.

Try to please her,
You’ll never meet her demands
Try to please her,
You’ll never meet her demands
She’s a day drinker, ETC.

MADAMSPEAKERVILLE
Numb from a rum cake, watching the House take
One of those votes that call for roll call
Starting to toddle, I downed a whole bottle
Grab the lectern and try not to fall

Wasting away again in MadamSpeakerVille
Searchin’ for my last scotch single malt
Some people claim I’m the woman to blame
But I know it’s Donald Trump’s fault

Watch me unravel, wavin’ my gavel
With nothing to show but these souvenir pens
I’m limp as linguini from vodka martinis
What I say doesn’t make any sense

Wasting away again in MadamSpeakerVille
Searchin’ for my last scotch single malt
Some people claim I’m the woman to blame
But I know it’s Ronald Dump’s fault

I have a confession: I open each session
High as a kite, cruising on cruise control
But I’ll get through this bender and enact my agenda
Protecting the Deep State’s my one single goal

Wasting away again in MadamSpeakerVille
Searchin’ for my last scotch single malt
Some people claim I’m the woman to blame
But I know it’s Donald Duck’s fault

Last week’s limerick

MATH EXTINCTION
When a vigorous inward migration
Overwhelms an effete population,
People have to be dumb
Not to know the outcome:
What will follow is sure subjugation.

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