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  • Aug 22 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: WHITE HOUSE OR BUST

whitehouseorbust

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

WHITE HOUSE OR BUST
She must win to achieve absolution.
If she loses, she’ll face retribution.
If she isn’t elected,
She will soon be subjected
To indictments and swift prosecution..

From the archive

LYNCHPIN
“Don’t worry,” said Bill, “it’s a cinch.
We just need to hang tough and not flinch.
How can acts be illicit
When the boss is complicit
And our friend will come through in a pinch?”
(2016)

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
If she happens to win, what then?
Where will Hillary be sworn in?
Will she be inaugurated
Where she’s incarcerated:
In her cell in a federal pen?
(2016)

HILLARY’S CONVICTION
The First Lady’s a post-modern wife
In responding to marital strife:
She’ll stand by her man
As long as she can,
‘Cause it’s better than “20 to Life.”
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

SELF-CRITICISM
His objections to Trump are so grim
And he makes them with venomous vim,
But Obama misspeaks
‘Cause his cranky critiques
Are more aptly descriptive of him.

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  • Aug 15 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: SELF-CRITICISM

self-criticism

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SELF-CRITICISM
His objections to Trump are so grim
And he makes them with venomous vim,
But Obama misspeaks
‘Cause his cranky critiques
Are more aptly descriptive of him.

Lagniappe

NAME THE PRESIDENT!
Pick one word you might say with a frown,
Use a five-letter word that’s a noun,
Spell it out upper case,
Safely hide it some place:
You alone will see what’s written down.

From the archive

ORDURE IN THE COURT
Choosing sides and then nursing a grudge
With a wink and a nod and a nudge,
One who knew the imperative
Of maintaining a narrative:
Debra Nelson the partisan judge..
(2013)

PROJECTION
Whatever the woe they’re bewailin’,
It’s not long ’fore the Left starts assailin’
The “climate of hate”
That right-wingers create –
And their favorite bête noire, Sarah Palin.
(2011)

BALANCE
“This Talk Radio’s going too far
And we soon will be raising the bar:
In the interest of fairness
And cultural awareness,
Every station will air NPR.”
(2009)

H STANDS FOR HATE
Hillary’s known for intolerant views:
She hates blacks, she hates Christians and Jews,
She hates soldiers and cops
And all men who aren’t fops –
She’s the candidate haters will choose.
(2008)

IN TOLERANCE
Left-wing radicals running our schools
Do great harm with their inverted rules:
They oppose every norm,
Reject custom and form,
And show deference to freaks and to fools.
(2007)

THE RULES
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
(2007)

DIVISION LEADER
Who has kept black Americans down
And spread hatred from town to town?
No, it’s no Anglo-Saxon
But the Reverend Jackson
Who’s the rabidest racist around!
(2001)

THE JOURNALIST
In the past, he was forced to “pay dues”
And develop “a nose for the news.”
Well, he still has a nose,
But, my, how it grows
When the facts must conform to his views!
(1996)

Last week’s limerick

RANSOM
Though they are authorized to play wardens,
Their abuse of that power disheartens:
When they make lots of dough
Letting criminals go,
When Obama, like Clinton, sells pardons.

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  • Aug 08 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: RANSOM

ransom

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

RANSOM
Though they are authorized to play wardens,
Their abuse of that power disheartens:
When they make lots of dough
Letting criminals go,
When Obama, like Clinton, sells pardons.

From the archive

RICHER DOLE
All those Clinton years left Eric older,
His Obama time left Eric colder:
Such experience hardens,
But the selling of pardons
Has undoubtedly left Eric golder.
(2016)

CASHIFIED INFORMATION
“For accelerated authorization
With regard to above application:
To ensure I approve you,
It might well behoove you
To kick in to my family foundation.”
(2015)

From the Clinton archive (1996-2000)

BILL IN A CHINA SHOP
Campaign prospects are more sunny
When the coffer’s full of money.
Leave it to Bill
To fill the till
With money that is funny!

BILL PAYING
Pardon him, pardon her, pardon you.
Pardon everyone Bill ever knew.
There’s no need to be frugal:
Pardon Hubbell, McDougall,
Pardon Gore, pardon Hillary too!

CLINTONIAN DIPLOMACY
“We’ll supply whatsoever you need
To ensure your armed forces succeed,
And we won’t make a fuss
If you use them on us,
‘Cause our sole motivation is greed.

RIADY OR NOT, HERE WE COME!
“Though funds that the DNC spent
Did arise in the Orient,
Our designs are disputable,
Lippo’s motives inscrutable —
Can you prove that we’re not innocent?”

Last week’s limerick

JEERS!
Sure, she’s got a few pounds she could lose
(And those pantsuits in multiple hues),
But her one highest hurdle
Besides needing a girdle
Is she’s got a big problem with boos.

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  • Aug 01 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: JEERS!

jeers

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

JEERS!
Sure, she’s got a few pounds she could lose
(And those pantsuits in multiple hues),
But her one highest hurdle
Besides needing a girdle
Is she’s got a big problem with boos.

From the archive

HILLARITY
“Though she’s ugly, dishonest, and mean,
Just the wickedest witch ever seen,
She’s the best that we’ve got,
So let’s give her a shot
And elect her in Twenty-Sixteen.”
(2013)

H STANDS FOR HATE
Hillary’s known for intolerant views:
She hates blacks, she hates Christians and Jews,
She hates soldiers and cops
And all men who aren’t fops –
She’s the candidate haters will choose.
(2008)

HILLAREEN
What compares to the horrible fright
That will haunt us on Halloween night?
Consider the fear,
As elections draw near,
Ghoulish candidates soon will excite!
(2003)

Last week’s limerick

RESET
Out of date is the slogan some blithering
Adman proposed to a dithering,
Truth-noncompliant
Dolt of a client:
“I’m With Her” should be changed to “I’m Withering.”

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  • Jul 25 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: RESET

reset

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

RESET
Out of date is the slogan some blithering
Adman proposed to a dithering,
Truth-noncompliant
Dolt of a client:
“I’m With Her” should be changed to “I’m Withering.”

From the archive

CLUELESS
Says she’s just like y’all and youse,
Says she shares your stupid views:
Either Hillary’s tight
Or not very bright,
‘Cause the Empress has no clues.
(2015)

JOKE
Hillary’s running again, have you heard?
Nomination is hers, that’s the word.
We could get in a pother,
But why even bother?
The woman’s completely absurd.
(2014)

RUN FOR THE ROSE GARDEN
In her desperate bid for the crown,
She has found herself trailing Big Brown;
At the end of the race
Looms a lame second place
And the prospect of being put down.
(2008)

THE END
Though I’m no Clinton fan, I do find,
As support for his wife has declined,
That I’m actually beginning
To wish she were winning,
‘Cause I can’t stand to see her behind.
(2008)

RERUN FOR PRESIDENT
“Now at last is my destiny reached!”
Mrs. Megalomaniac screeched,
And follow she will
In the footsteps of Bill
When a Clinton again is impeached.
(2008)

TAILSPIN
She knew that she would win,
But she took it on the chin;
Now she’s lost the crown
And she’s spiraling down,
Still believing in her own spin.
(2008)

INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN
On a fantasy Hillary fed
‘Til reality reared its huge head:
As her poll numbers drop,
She will have to close shop
And admit that her life’s dream is dead.
(2007)

HILL’RY REDNECK CLINTON
“Hoosiers, hillbillies, dis is yer year!
Rednecks, crackers, doan be afeard!
Shucks! Gosh! an’ Dang!
Doanchu jes love mah twang?
Git yer fust lady prezdent rat cheer!”
(2007)

Last week’s limerick

ARMS & THE MANDATE
What the Second Amendment defends
Is a right on which all else depends:
To resist subjugation
Of ourselves and our nation
And live free as our Maker intends.

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