Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:
’S MOTHER
Oh, thank goodness the government’s there
To precaution and make me beware:
I’m now starving to death,
Blue from holding my breath,
’Cause I’m frightened of food and of air.
From the archive:
IT’S THE LAW!
Seatbelt on your easy chair,
Life vest in the tub to wear,
Steel-toed bedroom slippers,
Velcro trouser zippers,
Flame-retardant underwear.
(2009)
CLICK IT OR TICKET
“I’m afraid I must take you downtown,”
The policeman announced with a frown.
Such a fate I was dealt
For not wearing a belt –
Which was why my new trousers fell down.
(2009)
ZERO RISK?
I anticipate danger ahead
And foresee myself injured or dead
– From falling, perchance,
While putting on pants,
So I’d better not get out bed.
(1999)
BUSYBODIES
They’ll first find tobacco at fault,
Then coffee, wine, spirits, and malt.
Then they’ll next demonize
Colas, burgers, and fries,
Then all snacks made with sugar and salt!
(1998)
NO CURE FOR THE COMMON SCOLD
They insist we directly disown
Every pleasure and pastime that’s known.
Those “natural” nags
And health-conscious hags –
Oh, why can’t they leave us alone?
(1998)
Last week’s verse:
WORKING BARACKWARDS
Whom does he hope he is hooking
When he claims our economy’s cooking?
Are more people employed
Or just lost in the void
’Cause they simply have given up looking?