Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:
HOW SPECIAL
Rules applied to the masses and not them,
But their hubris eventually got them:
First fell Spitzer, then Weiner,
And now somebody meaner –
The Belle of Benghazi, Ms. Rodham.
From the archive
SENSE OF HUMA
“If your husband is horny like Bill,
You should pose as the good wife like Hill.
Do whatever you must
To regain public trust:
Once in office, then do what you will.”
(2013)
WEINER DOES SINATRA
I’ve got the world on a screen,
I’m tweeting with a co-ed,
Got a thing about my weiner –
What a word! Where’s my wife? I’m enlarged.
I’ve got a shot that I send,
It’ll make her brain blow,
Or, again, it might offend her –
Lusty me! Can’t you see? I’m enlarged.
Wife’s a wonderful thing
As long as I have my flings.
I’d be a really stupid schmo
If I should ever let her know.
(2011)
MISTWEETED
Little Anthony had to get meaner,
Being hung with a handle like Weiner,
Having always his surname
Being used as a slur name:
Could cognomens be any obscener?
(2011)
CRAFT PRODUCT
Oh, you ought to get an oscar, “Mayor” Weiner,
For the explanation of your tweet,
But I doubt you’ll get an oscar, “Mayor” Weiner,
Or even keep your legislative seat.
(2011)
AL GORGE
If a human is hungry for strudel,
He can get some by using his noodle,
But his quest for confection
May result in rejection
If he paws like a poor, crazed sex poodle.
(2010)
SPITZER
“New York State Attorney General” rang fine,
“New York Governor” sounded divine,
And yet even more eminent
Would have been “U.S. President”
– But, instead, he is now “Number 9.”
(2008)
INCOMMODE
See how swiftly the mighty do fall
And their bigness become very small:
Get a little too noisy
While you’re cruising for Boise
And you’ll find your career in a stall.
(2007)
BIRDS OF A FEATHER
In both Parties you’ll find creep and crank,
Even some who are thoroughly rank,
But Republicans wholly
Have disavowed Foley,
While the Democrats laud Barney Frank.
(2006)
MISS KOPECHNE REGRETS
“Though I’ll miss your grand tribute to Ted,
I’ll be with you in spirit instead
As you strive to deny
That grave night in July
When he swam off and left me for dead.”
(2004)
ZOMBIES
From justice they craftily fled
And avoided the sanctions they dread;
Now O.J. and Bill
Can linger at will
In the night of the fast-living dead.
(2001)
MR. PRECEDENT
What a vile conglomeration
Of every abomination:
In Clinton’s wake,
Only villains will make
A bid for the nomination.
(1999)
WEENIE ROAST
In Congress there’s many a crank,
And a few who belong in the tank,
But leading the race
As a public disgrace
Is the Honorable Barney Frank!
(1998)
AKA
Nelson, Luciano, Capone
All had nicknames uniquely their own.
In Bill Clinton’s case,
You can bet “Cigarface”
Is the moniker by which he’ll be known!
(1998)
SO THAT’S WHAT YOU CALL IT!
She was flattered he found her appealing,
But preferred that he be less revealing.
Bill tried to explain
He was feeling her pain,
But Paula knew what he was feeling!
(1998)
HILLARY’S CONVICTION
The First Lady’s a post-modern wife
In responding to marital strife:
She’ll stand by her man
As long as she can,
‘Cause it’s better than “20 to Life.”
(1998)
Last week’s limerick
WORST FIRSTS
All those firsts were considered quite foreign
‘Til the day we ostensibly swore in
The first Catholic, Jack,
The first black man, Barack,
The first Native American, Warren.