Thetimman at St. Louis Catholic has posted “Headlines I’d Like to See But Won’t.” Most of his imaginary news items are related to issues in St. Louis, but the two bogus briefs below should appeal to long-suffering Catholics throughout the U.S.:
PROGRESSIVE CATHOLICS RETIRE EN MASSE
“Nobody listened to us anyway,” says McBrien, “and we got a good deal on a retirement village.”USCCB DISBANDS
“Time for Bishops to do their canonically assigned jobs,” says unnamed American prelate in Rome.
No, we’re not likely to see either headline any time soon, but who knows? Maybe this is the real hope that Obama offers, and his presidency will prove to be the last hurrah for American socialism.