My Grandfather’s Tuxedo

For years, my grandfather's beautiful, midnight blue, double-breasted wool tuxedo was way too big for me, but it didn't really matter because I hardly ever had an occasion to wear a tux. Once every five years, maybe. When I did wear it, I had to take the waist in on the pants an inch or two on either side and pin it so they wouldn't fall off. Then, about ten years ago, I pulled it out for some event or other and it fit perfectly. It had shrunk, apparently. I took it out today to try it on for my daughter's wedding next week and, lo and behold, it's shrunk again. I was shaken, not stirred. Now I have to go out and rent a blasted monkey suit. I'll bet 007's tux doesn't fit him anymore either.

Something Better than a Diet

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