Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:
GUILT TEA
When it heats up and lets out a scream,
My tea kettle releases some steam:
I’m committing a crime
By affecting the clime!
Does this seem just a little extreme?
From the archive:
TUB SNUBBERS
They abstain from Palmolive and Prell
And perform their ablutions pell-mell,
Neither soaking nor scouring
In their five-minute showering:
Now we know why some Englishmen smell.
(2010)
BUSYBODIES
They’ll first find tobacco at fault,
Then coffee, wine, spirits, and malt.
Then they’ll next demonize
Colas, burgers, and fries,
Then all snacks made with sugar and salt!
(1999)
NO CURE FOR THE COMMON SCOLD
They insist we directly disown
Every pleasure and pastime that’s known.
Those “natural” nags
And health-conscious hags
Oh, why can’t they leave us alone?
(1998)
Last week’s limerick:
THE WEALTH OF RATIONS
If you want to show that you care,
Then you have to learn how to share
And surrender to me
Half your property:
What could possibly be more fair?