Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:
AMEN!
Hear us, O Lord, we pray
On this election day:
Deliver our nation
From subjugation,
Make Obama go away.
From the archive:
BIG FINISH
“Just imagine what waits in the wings,
All the wonders another term brings!
[pause for clapping & cheers]
Give me just four more years
And I swear you won’t recognize things!”
(2012)
NOT SOON ENOUGH
“There is nothing to fret about, friend:
My one term will soon come to an end.
Don’t be down in the dumps:
I’ll be gone in six months.
How much harm can I do before then?”
(2012)
WEST VIRGINIA
In the Democrat primary, some went
And cast votes for a bellicose bum bent
On flaunting his flaws
And flouting our laws –
And this candidate was the incumbent!
(2012)
COMMITTMENT
When Mitt Romney takes office, we will
Be enacting on Capitol Hill
A total repeal
Of Obama’s Bad Deal:
We can call it the Romneybus Bill.
(2012)
2012
At last, the moment’s here:
The beginning of the year
In which Barack
Is beaten back
And tossed out on his ear!
(2012)
BARACK AGAIN
Suffered three years so far of Obama
And Michelle, our new substitute mama:
Cannot wait ‘til he’s canned
And we won’t have to stand
Yet another full year of his drama.
(2011)
DEMOCRAFT
“Our agenda aroused such objections
That we lost the dumb voters’ affections,
But there’s nothing to fear
When opponents appear
If you know how to steal the elections.”
(2010)
THE HOPE OF AUDACITY
“There is nothing the voters won’t buy
If the sales pitch is suitably sly:
I could easily sell
Them all homesteads in Hell
If I just keep repeating the lie.”
(2010)
DEM BONES
In the backyard we broke out the bibs,
Fed our faces with barbecued ribs.
Now we’re nursing the embers
And awaiting November’s
Bacchanalia of barbecued Libs.
(2010)
MIDTERM
“We have lost the dumb voters’ affection
But persist in our leftward direction,
‘Cause they don’t have the gumption
To resist our presumption
And we know how to rig an election.”
(2010)
PAYBACK
If Pelosi can get enough votes
To shove health-care “reform” down our throats,
You can bet we’ll remember
And cast votes in November
To be “reconciled” with Judas goats.
(2010)
REELECTION RECIPE
Take a crony-claimed “stimulus” stash
And an influx of overseas cash
(Use to cover expenses);
Add an ACORN-cooked census
For an edge in the 2012 clash.
(2009)
RIOT-IN CANDIDATE
There’ll be riots if that one’s rejected;
There’ll be riots if that one’s elected:
Either way, we are stuck
When his fans run amuck
And it’s better McCain is selected.
(2008)
HAPPY DAZE
“He’s compared to the Christ and to Gandhi,
He’s offered us all bags of candy,
But he got my vote when
The endorsements came in
From the Fonz, Richie, Opie, and Andy.”
(2008)
NIGHT OF THE VOTING DEAD
“We’ll be summoned from slumberous state
To endorse the quadrennial slate;
Then it’s back to the grave,
Where we’ll try to behave
‘Til the conclave of 2008!”
(2004)
REGISTERED VOTERS
The polls open and who comes in?
Mary Poppins and Mickey Finn,
Then Betty Boop
And Alley Oop,
Sherlock Holmes and Gunga Din!
(2004)
HILLAREEN
What compares to the horrible fright
That will haunt us on Halloween night?
Consider the fear,
As elections draw near,
Ghoulish candidates soon will excite!
(2003)
RECOUNT DRACULA
There once was a man named Vlad
Who was known for a habit he had:
With such pride in his nailing,
When he took to impaling
No one ever would challenge his chad.
(2000)
POLL FAULT
If they’re often the idlest of souls,
If their names can’t be found on the rolls,
If they won’t likely vote,
Why do we take note
Of opinions they offer in polls?
(1998)
WINNING BY A WHISKER
“Our Party is poised to prevail
With this new registration by mail:
All corpses and cats
Are staunch Democrats,
So our candidates simply can’t fail!”
(1998)
ROCK THE VOTE (TO SLEEP)
If free markets are something you dread,
Our Constitution is over your head,
And American history
To you is a mystery,
On election day, please, stay in bed!
(1998)
Last week’s limerick:
OUT
His own poll shows a massive defection
And he cannot succeed sans injection:
All his intimates know
That Obama, down low,
Now has trouble achieving election.