I’ve been a fan of Dick Van Dyke for as long as I can remember — and [whatever the opposite of a fan is] of his brother Jerry for almost as long. When he was young, Jerry would show up on his big brother’s show and I’d marvel at the similarity in their looks, and the dissimilarity in their talents. Then, somehow, Jerry got his own show — about a guy whose mother is reincarnated as an old car. What a concept! Inspired by Mr. Ed, no doubt. Granted, even Dick couldn’t salvage an idiotic premise like that, but, still, it was supremely lame.
Recently, I was watching an episode of The Andy Griffith Show with the family and who turns up as guest star but Jerry Van Dyke as a bumbling carny? The kids were surprised to learn that Dick Van Dyke had a brother. (They’re homeschooled and have never seen Coach. Neither have I, for that matter.) Like me at their age, they were unimpressed, but they wanted to know if he’d ever done anything else. Believe it or not, I told them, he was in a top-rated show
not too long ago. They didn’t believe it, and it boggles my mind, too. But, I said, his greatest claim to fame, aside from being Dick Van Dyke’s brother, is that he was the star of “the worst TV show ever.”
What was it about? they asked. You wouldn’t believe it if I told you, I said. Try us, they said. I tried them. They didn’t believe it. You’ve got to admit it’s hard to believe: a show about a guy whose mother is reincarnated — as a car. (Is that where the big idea came from? The fact that the word “car” is in the middle of “reincarnate”?) A talking horse is one thing, but a talking car? That’s plain stupid. Or, at least, it was, back then, before we all started hearing incarnated voices saying, “Your door is ajar.”
I wondered later if I’d been too harsh in describing it as the worst TV show ever. After all, I hadn’t seen it in years, not since it was originally on the air. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I remembered. Maybe it was only one of the worst TV shows ever. But, just this morning, quite by accident, I happened upon My Mother the Car on YouTube and watched the first episode again. It turns out I was right. It really is the worst TV show ever.