ORIGINAL/Clinton Remake
1. CITIZEN KANE/Citizens Conned
2. CASABLANCA/Cast of Blackguards
3. THE GODFATHER/The Cod Father
4. GONE WITH THE WIND/Goon With the Wench
5. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA/Torrents of Her Labia
6. THE WIZARD OF OZ/The Whizzer Is Odd
7. THE GRADUATE/The Grad You Ate
8. ON THE WATERFRONT/On the Waterbed
9. SCHINDLER’S LIST/Swindler’s Lust
10. SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN/Singin’ in Exchange (for Immunity)
11. IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE/That’s One Dutiful Wife
12. SUNSET BOULEVARD/Sensate Billy Boy
13. THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI/The Bridge to the 21st Century
14. SOME LIKE IT HOT/Some Like It Any Old Way
15. STAR WARS/Starr Worries
16. ALL ABOUT EVE/All About Evil
17. AFRICAN QUEEN/A Friggin’ Queen
18. PSYCHO/Sicko
19. CHINATOWN/China’s Own
20. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST/One Flew Over the Cuckold’s Nest
21. THE GRAPES OF WRATH/A Raft of Gropes
22. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY/2001: A New President
23. THE MALTESE FALCON/The Moll‑Teased Flagellant
24. RAGING BULL/Rutting Bill
25. E.T. THE EXTRA‑TERRESTRIAL/Q.T. The Extra‑Marital
26. DR. STRANGELOVE/(SAME TITLE)
27. BONNIE & CLYDE/Boner Inclined
28. APOCALYPSE NOW/A Pack of Lies Now
29. MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON/Mr. Smug Goes to Washington
30. TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE/Pleasure of the Chere Amie‑O
31. ANNIE HALL/Any Gal
32. GODFATHER PART II/Got Off Her Patoot
33. HIGH NOON/High, Noon & Night
34. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD/To Kill a Monica
35. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT/It Happened Every Night
36. MIDNIGHT COWBOY/(SAME TITLE)
37. THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES/The Brassieres of our Lives
38. DOUBLE INDEMNITY/Double Indignity
39. DOCTOR ZHIVAGO/Doctor Viagra
40. NORTH BY NORTHWEST/Peyronie’s Disease
41. WEST SIDE STORY/What’s Our Story?
42. REAR WINDOW/Near Widow
43. KING KONG/King Conjugator
44. THE BIRTH OF A NATION/The Bilge of a Nation
45. A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE/A Sweet Cigar‑Nymph Desired
46. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE/A Cock Like O.J.
47. TAXI DRIVER/Tacky Swiver
48. JAWS/Paws
49. SNOW WHITE & THE SEVEN DWARFS/So What & the Stonewalls
50. BUTCH CASSIDY & THE SUNDANCE KID/Butch Hillary & the Comeback Kid
51. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY/The For‑Adults‑Only Story
52. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY/From Ear to Extremities
53. AMADEUS/I’m a Doofus
54. ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT/I’ll Try It on the Intern First
55. THE SOUND OF MUSIC/The Sound of Newspeak
56. M*A*S*H/M*A*S*H*E*R
57. THE THIRD MAN/(Pleading) The Fifth Man
58. FANTASIA/Fan of Asia
59. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE/Dribble without a Gauze
60. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK/Raiders of Little Rock, Ark.
61. VERTIGO/(Obliquely) Vertical
62. TOOTSIE/Hootchy‑Kootchy
63. STAGECOACH/Stained Crotch
64. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND/Clothes Encrusted with a Sure
Sign
65. THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS/The Silence of Delay
66. NETWORK/The ‘Net Works
67. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE/(SAME TITLE)
68. AMERICAN IN PARIS/America Embarrassed
69. SHANE/Shame
70. THE FRENCH CONNECTION/The Fresh Conviction
71. FORREST GUMP/Foster Dumped
72. BEN‑HUR/Done Her
73. WUTHERING HEIGHTS/Withering Hype
74. THE GOLD RUSH/The Goad Rush (Limbaugh)
75. DANCES WITH WOLVES/Dan (Burton/Quayle) Says Withdraw
76. CITY LIGHTS/Kid Delights
77. AMERICAN GRAFFITI/American Graft
78. ROCKY/Nooky
79. THE DEER HUNTER/The Squirrel Hunter
80. THE WILD BUNCH/(SAME TITLE)
81. MODERN TIMES/Postmodern Times
82. GIANT/Pliant
83. PLATOON/Poltroon
84. FARGO/Far Gone
85. DUCK SOUP/Duck Suits
86. MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY/Mooning Me with her Booty
87. FRANKENSTEIN/Frank Inside
88. EASY RIDER/Itchy Writher
89. PATTON/Pat On
90. JAZZ SINGER/Jazzing Her
91. MY FAIR LADY/My Affair Lady
92. A PLACE IN THE SUN/Replacin’ the Son (O.B.)
93. THE APARTMENT/Abasement
94. GOODFELLAS/Good Feelers
95. PULP FICTION/Plump Friction
96. SEARCHERS/Search Hers
97. BRINGING UP BABY/Bring It Up, Baby!
98. UNFORGIVEN/Unrepentant
99. GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER/Guess Who’s Coming, Too, In Her?
100. YANKEE DOODLE DANDY/Yank the Dangling Doodle