The Year in Verse
A Politickles Retrospective
Every year at this time we’re kvetching,
Having finished an etching that’s fetching:
Turn the thing upside down
And then shake it around,
Start afresh on a new Etch-A-Sketching. BIG NIGHT IN
We have got such big plans New Year’s Eve!
What we’re planning you would not believe!
We’ll avoid hurly-burly
And just go to bed early!
Oh, what wonderful dreams we will weave! LIGHT CHORE
All night long, Father wangled and wrangled,
But could not get the tree lights untangled,
So, this year’s Christmas tree
Is as neat as can be —
And the lights in the garbage, all mangled. GRIZZLY MADAMS
They insist they are women, but weird
Is the fact that they all sport a beard.
I find lipstick and lashes
Tend to clash with mustaches.
On my brain how that image is seared! THE BIG I
“In a prison, you’re subject to shivving,
But your dad, as you know, is forgiving:
Blanket pardon’s the way,
And you will have to pay,
So old pop can still make a good living.”
TRUMP DANCE
If you ever get into a slump,
Fold your arms by your sides and fist-pump:
Pretty soon you’ll be winning,
And that’s just the beginning!
Wait ’til everyone’s doing “The Trump”!
EX-SCROOGE ME!
“There’s a rift and I’m eager to patch it.
It’s high time that we bury the hatchet.
Let our bygones be loose.
All we need is a goose.
Come on over for dinner, Bob Cratchit.”
FOE KINDNESS
Be grateful to the throng
Of those that did you wrong:
Despite what they meant
And their evil intent,
They’re the ones that made you strong.
STAR TRICK
Did you think that we’d be grieving
When you said that you were leaving?
We knew, in fact,
It was all an act
By hypocrites deceiving.
TDS 2.0
“I’m so mad that I’m going to scream!
From my ears I am issuing steam!
I can’t take four more years!
See on TikTok my tears!
Someone tell me it’s all a bad dream!”
GARBAGE
All the Democrats try to abash
Us deplorables, Nazis, and trash,
But we’re used to their games
And do not mind the names,
‘Cause we know we will win in this clash.
MULLING SPICES
Some like cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves
As they simmer in wine on their stoves,
While some others like zest
And think allspice is best
With anise in their pumpkin bread loaves.
KARMALA
Nothing was wrong with Joe’s brain,
Except he was slightly insane.
That’s why Joe was removed
And the ticket improved
By a woman who’s twice as inane.
NAME GAME
Your original name was Ted,
Or Fred or Jed or Ned,
But now you are Marilyn
Or possibly Geralyn:
All this nonsense is just in your head.
POSSESSED
Under him every error advances
And anomalies appear in finances.
Are his duties forsaken
Or is this see taken?
There is something bizarre about Francis.
MᴄNUTTIN
“Could we get a secure Southern border?”
“I am happy to process your order:
Quarter Pounder? Big Mac?
Would you like fries with that?
Drive ahead to receive this disorder.”
SPRINGFIELD
“Mommy, have you seen Mittens
Or any of her kittens?”
“Honey, the Haitians
Are here on vacations
And have different ideas about vittlins.”
MODERATION
“We will have to ‘correct’ Donald Trump
And give Kamala Harris a bump
While acting quite pious
And disguising our bias
So to make Donald look like a grump.”
BRAT WORST
If her language lacks lucidity
And her vibes evoke vapidity,
Then the thing about Harris
That should certainly scare us
Is astounding, stupendous stupidity.
GREAT WALZ OF CHINA
To avoid any outcome that’s grim,
We will want to keep close eyes on him.
Will he do as we please
Or support the Chinese?
We had better be wary of Tim.
CONTROL
“We all know this has been tried before
And has led to no food in the store,
Putting caps on the prices
Always leads to a crisis:
That’s a fact we will have to ignore.”
MONKEY POX
It’s bananas I constantly crave,
My whole body’s in need of a shave,
And online I’m now friends
With Micky Dolenz:
This is not how I used to behave.
JUST DEFY
They’re to blame for their blatant hypocrisy
As they bolster their bulging bureaucracy:
If the means they pretend
Don’t work out in the end,
That’s the cost of “defending democracy.”
CUBIN’ PETE
Peter cloned himself once, and then twice,
Thinking life would be three times as nice,
But it soon became plain
That his plan was in vain,
‘Cause the clones would not heed his advice.
BESIDE MYSELF
How many more Bobs do you see?
Just one, just two, or just three?
Is there only one Bob
Or a multi-Bob mob?
How many more Bobs can there be?
KAMALA CHAMELEON
“I could never have been ‘border czar.’
To suggest that I was is bizarre.
I could not issue orders
Regarding our borders
And don’t know where the boundaries are.”
TO DEI FOR
Though a guy’s on the roof with a scope,
Secret Service insists they can’t cope:
It’s a five-degree slant
And they’re sorry, they can’t
Risk an agent on that kind of slope.
JERK AND JILL
Biden said with a sinister frown
He would never consent to step down,
But the state of affairs
Is he can’t find the stairs
(Or go down without breaking his crown).
DEM-ENTIA
Though Joe Biden is clearly a putz,
He’s surrounded by satyrs and sluts,
By incompetent noobs
And drug-addled boobs:
The whole Democrat Party is nuts.
DEI-MOCRATS
They have catered to misfits so long,
Always singing the victimhood song,
Asking weirdos and cranks
To enter their ranks,
Thinking nothing would ever go wrong.
KALAMITY
Though Joe Biden is prone to embarrass,
Oftentimes even likely to scare us,
How much more will we cringe
When we know our fates hinge
On the wits of a President Harris?
THE BIG JILL
Biden babbled like a brainless big blob,
As intelligent as a door knob,
But his pitiless wife
In his back stuck a knife,
Telling Joe he did “such a great job!”
FINGER
He’s convicted, a felon, they say,
That’s another “demerit” today,
But their scheming’s absurd
‘Cause we’ll flip them the bird
When we vote for our guy anyway.
FATHER FIGURING
You may say what I’m saying sounds sappy
If you’ve not been a daddy or pappy
And you don’t know the joys
Of your own girls and boys,
How your children can make you so happy.
DEARLY DEPORTED
We cannot keep ignoring this flow,
At some point we just have to say no,
You arrived the wrong way,
Are not welcome to stay,
And will now be persuaded to go.
MERCHAN DICE
Even though the case imploded,
Still the outcome was foreboded:
To make sure Trump did time,
They created a crime
And used dice that they knew were loaded.
TRAPPED
Deep-state denizens all will be snared,
Mainstream media will not be spared,
When Donald Trump wins,
They will pay for their sins:
It’s no wonder they’re all running scared.
BOA CONSTRICTOR
“I don’t dress this way just as a joke,
It’s an image I try to evoke,
But I’m going to barf
If I don’t lose this scarf:
It’s too tight and it’s making me choke.”
PAULREVERE.COM
All you patriots, hearken, pay heed,
Pay attention and follow my lead.
The Redcoats are coming!
The Redcoats are coming!
To learn more, please subscribe to my feed.
STEWED/DENSE
“As your parents, we have the suspicion
That you’re not maximizing your mission:
You were sent there to learn,
Not to protest and burn,
That is not why we pay your tuition.”
FRENZY
Old Joe Biden has gotten so dozy
He claims cannibals ate Uncle Bosie,
They ate Antony Blinken
And Abraham Lincoln,
And they even ate Nancy Pelosi.
SONG OF MY SELFIE
“I take pictures of all that I do
And I post them for people like you,
‘Cause I’m eager to show
Folks I don’t even know
Just how they can be dunderheads, too.”
SHE CLIPS
I guess I’m just too meek,
But when I start to speak
She cuts me off
With a look or cough
And I turn the other cheek.
REMOTE CONTROL
Just when things get exciting indeed,
Left-wing anchors will then intercede.
They don’t want that much light
Shed by guests on the right:
“Oops! We’re sorry, we’ve just lost the feed.”
BARRING THE CROSS
A T, an X, a thing
To make the grateful sing.
Who think the cross
An albatross?
Why do they hate the King?
BATTLE-AXE
Your ex-husband has made you so mad,
But the two of you share a young lad,
So, transition the son
And then you have won:
That’s the way to get back at the dad.
CREEPAGE
They committed some serious crimes,
And they did these things multiple times,
But McCarrick and Biden
Will never be tried in
A court ’cause they’re now past their primes.
BORDERLINE
“Antisocial? Psychotic? Insane?
Lacking morals, a heart, and a brain?
You are just what we need
To make this country bleed.
Come on in and forever remain.”
WHO’S READY TO EAT?
“I would so love to have you for lunch,
Or for breakfast, or maybe for brunch.
The time doesn’t matter:
It’s what’s on the platter.
Will you be there? Oh, thank you so munch.”
NY CYA!
On the one side, the Trump-hating cluckers.
On the other, the Trump-loving truckers.
See how bad things have gotten:
The Big Apple is rotten,
And the city is sodden with suckers.
UNCONVENTIONAL
It’s unlikely you’d get a worse ticket,
One more bumbling or baffled or wicked,
One more apt to embarrass
Than Biden and Harris,
If you asked a chimpanzee to pick it.
PLEADING THE 25TH
If your comments are constantly muddled
And you seem to be always befuddled,
You have nothing to fear:
It will all disappear,
‘Cause the case for your crimes will be scuttled.
SEX-STING
“What I did was indeed asinine,
But it seemed so romantic online.
I exchanged risqué pix
When I should have said nix.
No more sexting for me! I decline.”
SECRET RECIPE
All the meatloaves I make are replete
With the vegetables you “hate” to eat;
Those “foul” foods that offend
Are mixed up in the blend:
To make some children eat, you must cheat.
CHARITY BINGES AT HOME
This whole refugee program’s a sham
That is putting us all in a jam,
Undermining our nation
And our civilization,
With the churches all in on the scam.
MARKETING
Education in sex promotes sex.
Contraceptive “protection” comes next.
Once a girl feels secure,
She’ll get pregnant for sure,
And abortion is what she selects.
LONELY HUNTER
The dad the sad lad had
Was not a decent dad,
And now the son
Is on the run
Because his dad was bad.
2024
Is there something new in store?
Will it be just like before?
Will another year
Bring grief or cheer?
Shall I go around once more?