2022

The Year in Verse
A Politickles Retrospective

INCONCEIVABLE
We’re on sexual strike, women bray,
As if any man cares what they say:
They’re upset that the Court
Killed the “right” to abort,
Even though they’re repulsive or gay.

FACT CHICK
“When I saw her cute pic, I swiped right
And requested a date for that night.
When she opened the door,
She weighed 50 pounds more –
And I was four fifths of my height.”

LGBTQ+
“We’re so proud of our rainbow today,
This forever-expanding array:
Every day it gets better
As we add one more letter.
The whole alphabet soon will be gay.”

PRIED
“When your children come under our sway,
We indoctrinate from the first day:
With our gradual grooming
And the lies they’re consuming,
We are leading the young ones astray.”

J6
There was no “insurrection”:
This false-flag misdirection
Was an effort to stump
Donald J. Trump
And prevent his reelection.

CREDIT DENIED
“Though I tried to be all I could be,
She would never acknowledge to me
Anything I achieved:
She was so much aggrieved,
She pretended that she didn’t see.”

SO’S UMAMI!
When I’m hungry, I do not devour
Something sweet, bitter, salty, or sour:
No, I swallow salami,
That savory tsunami,
Let that pepper my palate empower.

DEPENDENT KLAUS
“You’ll own nothing and be happy,”
Says Klaus Schwab, who’s feeling crappy.
Klaus is in a snit
And throwing a fit:
Someone needs to change his nappy.

2000 MULES
They were paid to deliver the votes,
So to change the results of the totes,
Stuffing box after box
Over multiple blocks,
Thus creating the Joe Biden bloats.

CALCULATOR
“I discovered to my dismay
She’d assigned me a part in a ‘play,’
And her fond affirmations
Were just public relations
To sustain her sweet image and sway.”

WHO’S HE?
He’s “in bed” with some bad so-and-sos,
He’s “in bed” with drug pushers and hoes,
He’s “in bed” with Deep Statists
And pedophile sadists,
He’s “in bed” with America’s foes.

THE MASK GAME
Said Gene Rayburn, “Brett, give me your views:
Which of these men would you choose,
A man with a mask
Or a man with a flask?”
“Gene, give me the guy with the booze!”

TRYING
Each night to bed dejected,
Our lives far from perfected,
Wondering why
We try and try,
Each morning resurrected.

FACT CHEKA
“I am serving to monitor news
And ensure it comports with right views:
If you must disagree,
Go ahead, you are free
To destroy your own life if you choose.”

YOU’RE THE TERRORIST!
Hey, Mayorkas, you blood-sucking leech,
Do you think you can curb our free speech?
We will question elections
And fallacious infections!
You can shove your insane overreach!

HERE COMES THE SON!
“I’m so sick of all of this crap, Pop,
This obsession with what’s on my laptop.
Oh, how happy you’d be
If they pinned it on me!
I am not gonna cop to this rap, Pop.”

DIS PUTIN
Of course, Putin is prone to deceive,
But Zelensky has reason to weave
A few lies of his own,
And Joe Biden has shown
He is never someone to believe.

A MISS
“In the locker room, I saw a chick
And I said to my bestie, ‘Look quick:
See that girl over there
Who’s blow-drying her hair?
Tell me why does that chick have a dick?’”

INCOME VAX
“We’ve developed a new vaccine
And it only remains to be seen
If we’re able to make it
Compulsory to take it,
Then our profits will be obscene.”

INTO THE FIRE
“We must ‘speak truth to power,’” he said,
“Transfer ‘power to the people’ instead.”
Now that we’ve got the power,
We still have to cower,
‘Cause the power has gone to his head.

CARNIVAL THROES
On Mardi Gras Day, tap a cask
And fill up a bota or flask,
But make sure you’re not spotted
Looking totally potted:
For your own sake, please, wear a mask.

I PAD
“My podcast’s a real sensation,
The most popular in the nation.
How on earth do I pack
In an hour-long track
Fifteen minutes of information?”

BOYCOTT THE COY BOTS
We can start any time that we like
And all take a long virtual “hike”:
Stay off Facebook and Twitter,
Watch their revenue wither
From our grand social media strike.

C’EST MOI!
There is something about his defiance,
His absurdly smug self-reliance,
That makes me say, “No,
This guy Fauci must go,
This guy who says ‘I am the Science!’”

STAR-CRAVING MAD
The DeNiros, the Hankses, the Streeps,
Sanctimonious Hollywood creeps:
All their evil’s recorded
And will soon be reported
Without any censorship bleeps.

SCOUTING FOR THE PROSE
Before hiring an “analyst,” quiz him
To detect any barbarism:
That banality
“Physicality,”
The grotesque “athleticism.”

BOOSTED INCOME
“Covid Karen’s addicted to shots
And is filling up lots of my slots:
Just today I re-goosed her
With her 25th booster
And re-jabbed two or three of her tots.”

GHISLAINE
Her conviction for procuring
Is just and reassuring,
But will clients report
For their day in court?
That’s what needs to be occurring.

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