Your Weekly Politickle: TURKEY SURPRISE

Attack Turkey

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

“Maw, I cain’t get the butcherin’ done.
You an’ Granny had both better run:
That big turkey’s a-fussin’
An’ comin’ for us’n —
With my hatchet and Paw’s 12-gauge gun!”

From the archive:

This Thanksgiving, may families join ranks
And remember to fill in the blanks:
So expression of gratitude
May be more than a platitude,
Let’s acknowledge to Whom we give thanks.

Thursday’s carcass long after supplies
Turkey Sandwiches, Stews, and Pot Pies;
Turkey Omelets, Fettucini,
Casseroles, Tetrazzini;
Turkey Gumbo, à la King, and Surprise.

We showed up in our holiday best,
With the exception of one honored guest,
So the dinner was late
And we all had to wait
Because “Tom” was not properly dressed.

The poor Tinman is lacking a heart,
While the Scarecrow is not very smart;
And the King of the Forest,
Expected to roar best,
Is reluctant to play a brave part.

A fried turkey injected with spice,
Shrimp-stuffed mirlitons and dirty rice,
Pecan pie, oyster dressing –
How we rush through the blessing!
Yes, a Creole Thanksgiving is nice.

If you’re thankful for your lot
And all the things you’ve got,
Then say a prayer
And give a care
For someone on the spot.

How much better can Thanksgiving get?
In my bedroom a 60-inch set,
And in HD displayed
This year’s Macy’s Parade:
Waking up to a scrumptious Rockette!

With the turkey and trimmings procured,
Our Thanksgiving repast is assured,
But it won’t be complete
‘Til we sit down to eat
And the family’s as stuffed as the bird.

If your husband’s a Thanksgiving fan
And a cranberry sauce kind of man,
You might make him a batch
Of the sauce all from scratch,
But he’ll miss that weird goop in the can!

Lord, we ask of you a boon:
To bless our guests this noon.
We’re so grateful they
Could come today –
And have to leave real soon!

Hold your horses; we’re not in a race.
Get that drumstick away from your face.
Now put your fork down
And stop making that frown.
You can eat when we finish the grace.

Last week’s limerick:

This new one-size-fits-all suit fits bad
And cost more than the nice suit I had:
The new jacket’s too tight,
The new trousers aren’t right,
And my one choice of fabric was plaid.

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