Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:
DYSPHORIA
“I’m a woman without any tits,
I’m a woman without woman bits,
I’m a woman who can
Urinate like a man,
I’m a woman who’s out of her wits.”
From the archive
LGBTQ+
“We’re so proud of our rainbow today,
This forever-expanding array:
Every day it gets better
As we add one more letter.
The whole alphabet soon will be gay.”
(2022)
PRIED
“When your children come under our sway,
We indoctrinate from the first day:
With our gradual grooming
And the lies they’re consuming,
We are leading the young ones astray.”
(2022)
BRUISED GENDER
“I’m a man. No, a woman. No, man.
I change gender as fast as I can.
Call me ‘him,’ call me ‘her,’
But you’d better concur
With the gender I currently am.”
(2019)
TITLE NEIN
“The gold medal I won in a whirl
At the annual state intermural:
You may think I’m a scamp,
But I’m still the new champ –
And the boy who just beat the best girl.”
(2018)
BACK IN THE CLOSET!
We relented and let you come out,
But we never expected you’d flout
All the rules of decorum
In whatever forum –
And adopt worse perversions to tout.
(2017)
DESENSITIZATION
We’re mainstreaming perverted carnality
(Homophilia to bestiality),
But remove the taboo
And they’re less “fun” to do:
That’s the fitting, ironic reality.
(2017)
SPOTTED
A ladybug, asked why
She seemed to be so shy
About sharing a shower
On a marigold flower,
Said, “That ladybug’s a guy!”
(2016)
YIKES!
“You may claim that you’re not anti-gay,
But to prove that you mean what you say
You must now demonstrate
That you really don’t hate –
And to do that, there’s only one way.”
(2016)
DEAD END
Though the mob is completely insane, though
They cause everyone so much pain, though
They shout and shove
And call it “love,”
There is death at the end of the rainbow.
(2015)
YOU’RE IN DOUBT?
“If you’re not really sure of your stance
As to bathrooms, then why take a chance?
Confused about gender?
Do what I do: Surrender —
And just stand there and pee in your pants.”
(2015)
UNLOCKER ROOM
In the past when a pervert would peek,
He’d be met with a slap or a shriek:
Now he says he’s a woman,
Is entitled to come in,
Not be treated like some kind of freak.
(2015)
THE ADVOCATE
No man’s perfect, nor ever has been:
We fall over and over again,
And, while some turn to prayer,
Many others despair
Or crusade on behalf of their sin.
(2015)
NO FARTHER
“Father’s Day rolls around and (oh, brother!),
If it’s not one weird thing, it’s another.
Meet my current stepdad,
The third one that I’ve had:
He’s now trying to pass as my mother.”
(2015)
PAN
S/he was straight, s/he was bi, s/he was gay:
Open-minded, s/he went any way,
Even trying out trans,
At last settling on sans,
Too exhausted for any more play.
(2014)
AGITPROP
Maybe three in a hundred are bent,
And one tenth of that number intent
On pretending to wed
Same-sex partners instead:
All this turmoil for three-tenths percent?
(2012)
BULLIES
In the 50s our fathers knew best,
But back then they could scarcely have guessed
That a mere three percent
Who are sexually bent
Would intimidate all of the rest.
(2012)
CZARDOM & GOMORRAH
“We are in your schools now and polluting
All the innocent minds we’re rebooting:
There’ll be total immersion
In every perversion
And the schools will be safe for recruiting.”
(2011)
BAD SAMARITANS
When a brother has wandered astray,
Those who love him will show him the way;
Those who follow the fashion
Of corrupted compassion
Will assure him his sin is okay.
(2010)
SAFE AND UNSOUND
There’s “safe sex” and “safe schools” and “safe touch,”
“Safe this” and “safe that” and “safe such,”
But, if “safe” now means “queer”
And is said with a leer,
The word “safe” doesn’t comfort me much.
(2009)
IN TOLERANCE
Left-wing radicals running our schools
Do great harm with their inverted rules:
They oppose every norm,
Reject custom and form,
And show deference to freaks and to fools.
(2007)
LAWRENCE V. TEXAS
The evil with which men are ridden
In normal times hardly is hidden,
But no era’s more awful
Than when vice is made lawful
And propriety, then, is forbidden.
(2003)
NOVEL IDEA
In The Wanting Seed, Anthony Burgess
Prophesied the preposterous purges
He knew surely would come
When the righteous play dumb
And the vicious give vent to their urges.
(2003)
Last week’s limericks
DIRTY PIXAR
“Buzz and Woody have a bond
And a friendship that is fond:
Let’s turn that to raunch,
So that they can launch
To iniquity and beyond.”
COY STORY
“Woody, why are you toying with me?
Woody, why can’t you see what could be?
Woody, why won’t you try
And reach for this guy?
Woody, you’ve got a friend in me.”