An Honest Commencement Address

Today is a big day for all graduates, but not one in a thousand of you knows or understands the reason why. This is the day that some of you will begin to realize that most, if not all, of what you’ve been taught in college is wrong, and the ones who figure that out the fastest are the ones most likely to succeed.

Today is the day you stop being coddled and infantilized. You think you’re “woke” now? Wait ’til you’re awakened – by the demands of a real world that you’re woefully unprepared for. Then, you’ll realize that you wasted four or more years of your life and a great deal of yours, your parents’, or some bank’s money and have nothing to show for it.

Not only will you have nothing to show for it, but you’ll probably have to spend the rest of your lives trying to repair the damage done to your intellectual faculties, your social skills, and your ability to face challenges and overcome setbacks – damage done to you by undemanding and permissive professors and administrators, and to yourselves by your witless embrace of patent absurdities and self-indulgent insistence on virtue signaling.

No more political correctness. No more trigger warnings. No more “canceling” anyone you disagree with. Those days are over.

No more telling complete strangers what your ridiculous made-up gender is or what ridiculous made-up pronouns you expect them to use when referring to you. Nobody cares about your sexual preferences or personal pronouns. You’ll be lucky if anyone remembers your name.

Nobody cares what color or ethnicity you are, either. Americans in the real world got over that hangup decades ago. Racism – or, more accurately, the imagined existence of racism – is a problem only on college campuses.

You may have a diploma, but it’s worth nothing. You’ve been cheated, but you went along with it, so whose fault is that?

The world doesn’t owe you anything, but you owe something to the world. So, take a good hard look at yourself and start making improvements.

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