Your Weekly Politickle: YOU’RE THE TERRORIST!

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

YOU’RE THE TERRORIST!
Hey, Mayorkas, you blood-sucking leech,
Do you think you can curb our free speech?
We will question elections
And fallacious infections!
You can shove your insane overreach!

From the archive

BIG EARS
Does Obama read my email?
Does Obama tap my phone?
Does he peer into my bedroom
With a dragonfly-shaped drone?

Does he know my favorite color,
Movie, music, and cologne?
Does he know I like chai latte
With a croissant or a scone?

Does he know where I’ve donated,
Where I’ve driven to or flown?
Does he check my charge card charges
Just as if they were his own?

Does he recognize no boundaries
And respect no private zone?
Does Obama lack the decency
To leave us all alone?
(2013)

PULL!
With much practice, a trap shooter hones
His precision with shotguns he owns,
But his targets today
Are not made out of clay:
In his backyard, he’s shooting down drones.
(2012)

REVERSE RIDE
Listen, my children, and you shall hear
Of the Boylston St. bombers’ brief career:
How demagogues avidly used the alarm
To bully their betters and make them disarm
And a people once free succumbed to their fear.
(2012)

DREAM JOB
“How things change from day to day,
What’s taboo becomes okay:
Though once arrested
For having molested,
I now work for TSA!”
(2011)

JANET’S LAW IS COMING TO TOWN
You’d rather opt out?
You’d better get scanned,
Cause if you opt out
You’ll get a cold hand:
Janet’s Law is coming to town.

She’s lining you up
And checking you twice,
Couldn’t care less who’s naughty or nice:
Janet’s Law is coming to town.

She sees you when you’re naked,
She knows what’s in your slacks,
She knows that you and grandma could
Launch some terrorist attacks!

O! You’d rather opt out?
You’d better get scanned,
Cause if you opt out
You’ll get a cold hand:
Janet’s Law is coming to town,
Janet’s Law is coming to town.
(2010)

SAFETY FIRST
A student in junior high classes
Spotted several suspicious young lasses,
But the principal said
He was out of his head
And forbade him to wear x-ray glasses.
(2010)

NEW DEPARTS
When I travel by air now and then,
The security staff wave me in:
I don’t have to be scoped
Or publicly groped,
I just hand them a nude 8×10.
(2010)

TAKEOFF
“With security lapses reviewed
On Flight 253, we conclude:
Due to differing beliefs
About bombs in one’s briefs,
Every passenger now must fly nude.”
(2010)

WELCOME TO AMERICA
“You illegally crossed our border?
You’re a drugs and weapons importer?
You’re a sociopath
Spewing venomous wrath?
Yes, everything seems in order.”
(2002)

ZERO TOLERANCE
When the stewardess gave it a tug,
I complained that my seatbelt was “snug.”
She said I’d regret
That insidious threat:
“Backwards, ‘snug’ spells ‘guns,’ you lug!”
(2002)

PROFILES IN CARNAGE
Multiculturalism assails
Common sense until it fails:
Screeners x-ray granny
And pat down the nanny,
But ignore young Arab males.
(2002)

Last week’s limerick

HERE COMES THE SON!
“I’m so sick of all of this crap, Pop,
This obsession with what’s on my laptop.
Oh, how happy you’d be
If they pinned it on me!
I am not gonna cop to this rap, Pop.”

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