Your Weekly Politickle: HUBBY LOBBY

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

HUBBY LOBBY
“Paul, you know I can’t give you stock tips,”
Nancy said between generous sips.
“Not even in jest
Can I tell you, ‘Invest
Five million in firms making chips.’”

From the archive

SEE YOU LATER, AGITATOR
Well, I saw Pelosi hawkin’
Another evil plan today,
Well, I saw Pelosi hawkin’
Another evil plan today,
And that’s when I realized
She just needs to go away.

See you later, Agitator
After a while, Miss Senile
See you later, Agitator
After a while, Miss Senile
Don’t you know that in November
You’ll be defeated by a mile?

When I think of how she played us,
All she did and all she said,
When I think of how she played us,
All she did and all she said,
I can’t wait until November,
Vote for someone else instead.

See you later, Agitator, ETC.

She’s a drunken alcoholic
And a greedy grabbing shrew
She’s a drunken alcoholic
And a greedy grabbing shrew
She doesn’t care about our country
She doesn’t care for me and you

I say, “Listen, Madam Speaker,
It’s time for you to go away.”
I say, “Listen, Madam Speaker,
It’s time for you to go away.
Don’t you know that you’re disgusting?”
We the voters have to say:

See you later, Agitator, ETC.
(2022)

DAY DRINKER
Not a good Speaker
Pretending to be so devout
Not a good Speaker
Pretending to be so devout
She’s a day drinker
Loves her liquor, yeah
It takes her so long to dry out
We found out

She’s a big boozer
She’s not completely all there
She’s a big boozer
She’s not completely all there
She’s a day drinker, ETC.

Try to please her,
You’ll never meet her demands
Try to please her,
You’ll never meet her demands
She’s a day drinker, ETC.
(2020)

MADAMSPEAKERVILLE
Numb from a rum cake, watching the House take
One of those votes that call for roll call
Starting to toddle, I downed a whole bottle
Grab the lectern and try not to fall

Wasting away again in MadamSpeakerVille
Searchin’ for my last scotch single malt
Some people claim I’m the woman to blame
But I know it’s Donald Trump’s fault

Watch me unravel, wavin’ my gavel
With nothing to show but these souvenir pens
I’m limp as linguini from vodka martinis
What I say doesn’t make any sense

Wasting away again in MadamSpeakerVille
Searchin’ for my last scotch single malt
Some people claim I’m the woman to blame
But I know it’s Ronald Dump’s fault

I have a confession: I open each session
High as a kite, cruising on cruise control
But I’ll get through this bender and enact my agenda
Protecting the Deep State’s my one single goal

Wasting away again in MadamSpeakerVille
Searchin’ for my last scotch single malt
Some people claim I’m the woman to blame
But I know it’s Donald Duck’s fault.
(2020)

UKRANIUM ONE
Of a scandal, there’s not been a whiff?
Biden, Kerry, Pelosi, and Schiff
All have ties to Ukraine
That they cannot explain:
It’s no longer a question of if.
(2020)

MISS DEMEANOR
At Pelosi’s press conference today,
All attending asked, “What did she say?”
’Cause it sounded like “Trump
Constitutes a peach pump,
Russian rooster, and Biden bidet.”
(2019)

NANCYLVANIA
With the change in the House status quo, see
The new Madame Speaker Pelosi
Enduring the glare
With the crazed, glassy stare
Of a transgendered Bela Lugosi.
(2007)

CINO
“If my actions make no sense,
I’ll say this in my defense:
I’m a psychopathic
Roman Catholic
Whose faith is mere pretense.”
(2003)

Last week’s limerick

AMERICA LAST
Our economy’s circling the drain.
Do you feel like you’re struggling in vain?
You can count on Joe Biden
To help by providin’
Umpteen billions to crooks in Ukraine.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Back to Top
%d bloggers like this: