Your Weekly Politickle: FAT CHECKER

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

FAT CHECKER
I let out a big ear-piercing wail
And my face turns perceptibly pale.
“That is not what I weigh,”
I indignantly say
Every time that I step on a scale.

From the archive

LIGHTWEIGHT
Getting older, you may realize
That your waistline’s a much larger size,
But Obama’s stayed slim,
Having kept himself trim:
Let’s award him the No-Belly Prize!
(2009)

GETTING WHAT WE ASK FOR
Halloween we all shout “Trick or Treat!”
As we hit every house on the street.
The next morning we wake
With a bad stomach ache,
‘Cause we had too much candy to eat.
(2009)

BASKET CASE
My obesity just isn’t funny
And I’m suing for bundles of money:
When a basket of candy
Is too full and too handy,
Who’s to blame but the old Easter Bunny?
(2005)

McPIG
You’ve grown by leaps and bounds;
Your super size astounds;
The fact is that
You’re really fat:
Four-three, three hundred pounds!
(2003)

OLDER & WIDER
As a lad I was long and lean
And drank gallons of Ovaltine,
But I had to rethink
That rich chocolate drink
When I wound up an oval teen.
(2002)

Last week’s limerick

HOUR APOLOGIES
It isn’t our fault this is late,
It goes out Monday mornings at eight,
We’ve not altered the time
That we send out our rhyme,
But the clock gets pushed back on this date.

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