Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:
“When I saw her cute pic, I swiped right
And requested a date for that night.
When she opened the door,
She weighed 50 pounds more –
And I was four fifths of my height.”
From the archive
I let out a big ear-piercing wail
And my face turns perceptibly pale.
“That is not what I weigh,”
I indignantly say
Every time that I step on a scale.
Getting older, you may realize
That your waistline’s a much larger size,
But Obama’s stayed slim,
Having kept himself trim:
Let’s award him the No-Belly Prize!
GETTING WHAT WE ASK FOR
Halloween we all shout “Trick or Treat!”
As we hit every house on the street.
The next morning we wake
With a bad stomach ache,
‘Cause we had too much candy to eat.
My obesity just isn’t funny
And I’m suing for bundles of money:
When a basket of candy
Is too full and too handy,
Who’s to blame but the old Easter Bunny?
You’ve grown by leaps and bounds;
Your super size astounds;
The fact is that
You’re really fat:
Four-three, three hundred pounds!
OLDER & WIDER
As a lad I was long and lean
And drank gallons of Ovaltine,
But I had to rethink
That rich chocolate drink
When I wound up an oval teen.
Last week’s limericks
“We’re so proud of our rainbow today,
This forever-expanding array:
Every day it gets better
As we add one more letter.
The whole alphabet soon will be gay.”
“When your children come under our sway,
We indoctrinate from the first day:
With our gradual grooming
And the lies they’re consuming,
We are leading the young ones astray.”