Your Weekly Politickle: DOG GONE

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

“Competition was keen, as you know,
But the judges decided to go
With Felipe the Frog,
Who presents as a dog
And is hereby declared ‘Best of Show.’”

From the archive

“I’m a woman without any tits,
I’m a woman without woman bits,
I’m a woman who can
Urinate like a man,
I’m a woman who’s out of her wits.”

“In the locker room, I saw a chick
And I said to my bestie, ‘Look quick:
See that girl over there
Who’s blow-drying her hair?
Tell me why does that chick have a dick?’”

“I’m a man. No, a woman. No, man.
I change gender as fast as I can.
Call me ‘him,’ call me ‘her,’
But you’d better concur
With the gender I currently am.”

“The gold medal I won in a whirl
At the annual state intermural:
You may think I’m a scamp,
But I’m still the new champ –
And the boy who just beat the best girl.”

A ladybug, asked why
She seemed to be so shy
About sharing a shower
On a marigold flower,
Said, “That ladybug’s a guy!”

“If you’re not really sure of your stance
As to bathrooms, then why take a chance?
Confused about gender?
Do what I do: Surrender —
And just stand there and pee in your pants.”

In the past when a pervert would peek,
He’d be met with a slap or a shriek:
Now he says he’s a woman,
Is entitled to come in,
Not be treated like some kind of freak.

“Father’s Day rolls around and (oh, brother!),
If it’s not one weird thing, it’s another.
Meet my current stepdad,
The third one that I’ve had:
He’s now trying to pass as my mother.”

S/he was straight, s/he was bi, s/he was gay:
Open-minded, s/he went any way,
Even trying out trans,
At last settling on sans,
Too exhausted for any more play.

Last week’s limerick

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who never would drive his new truck; it
Just sat in the drive
Once gas prices passed five,
‘Cause to fill up the tank cost a bucket.

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