Your Weekly Politickle: BIG DISAPPOINTMENT

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

BIG DISAPPOINTMENT
“Though we had a nice dinner and chat,
It still seems that our first date fell flat:
I just have to admit
I like girls who are fit,
And not girls who are morbidly fat.”

From the archive

FACT CHICK
“When I saw her cute pic, I swiped right
And requested a date for that night.
When she opened the door,
She weighed 50 pounds more –
And I was four fifths of my height.”
(2022)

FAT CHECKER
I let out a big ear-piercing wail
And my face turns perceptibly pale.
“That is not what I weigh,”
I indignantly say
Every time that I step on a scale.
(2021)

LIGHTWEIGHT
Getting older, you may realize
That your waistline’s a much larger size,
But Obama’s stayed slim,
Having kept himself trim:
Let’s award him the No-Belly Prize!
(2009)

GETTING WHAT WE ASK FOR
Halloween we all shout “Trick or Treat!”
As we hit every house on the street.
The next morning we wake
With a bad stomach ache,
‘Cause we had too much candy to eat.
(2009)

BASKET CASE
My obesity just isn’t funny
And I’m suing for bundles of money:
When a basket of candy
Is too full and too handy,
Who’s to blame but the old Easter Bunny?
(2005)

McPIG
You’ve grown by leaps and bounds;
Your super size astounds;
The fact is that
You’re really fat:
Four-three, three hundred pounds!
(2003)

OLDER & WIDER
As a lad I was long and lean
And drank gallons of Ovaltine,
But I had to rethink
That rich chocolate drink
When I wound up an oval teen.
(2002)

Last week’s limerick

TIME!
You’re not serving the public, you asses.
What have you ever done for the masses?
What you’ve done was for you.
Now repayment is due.
We’re not giving you any more passes.

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