{"id":9131,"date":"2014-05-05T13:29:27","date_gmt":"2014-05-05T18:29:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/?p=9131"},"modified":"2014-05-05T13:29:27","modified_gmt":"2014-05-05T18:29:27","slug":"your-weekly-politickle-tastes-like-health","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/your-weekly-politickle-tastes-like-health\/","title":{"rendered":"Your Weekly Politickle: TASTES LIKE HEALTH"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"health\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:<\/strong><\/p>\n

TASTES LIKE HEALTH
\n\u201cOh, you children are just gonna drool:
\nToday\u2019s entr\u00e9e\u2019s a gray whole-grain gruel.
\nIt\u2019s an extra-large glop
\nOf the savorless slop.
\nDon\u2019t you love eating lunches at school?\u201d<\/p>\n

From the archive<\/em><\/p>\n

PASSIVE REGRESSIVE
\nThere\u2019ll be someone to see that we share
\nAnd make sure that we always play fair,
\nThat we want to behave
\nFrom the cradle to grave:
\nI can\u2019t wait for ObamaDayCare.
\n(2013)<\/p>\n

MAYOR MAY NOT
\nWe can\u2019t know what the future will bring,
\nWhat health hazards Fate at us will fling,
\nBut there\u2019s nothing to fear
\nIn Manhattan this year:
\nMayor Bloomers has banned everything.
\n(2012)<\/p>\n

\u2019S MOTHER
\nOh, thank goodness the government\u2019s there
\nTo precaution and make me beware:
\nI\u2019m now starving to death,
\nBlue from holding my breath,
\n\u2019Cause I\u2019m frightened of food and of air.
\n(2011)<\/p>\n

BINGE
\n\u201cIf you cut back on some of your snacks,
\nYou\u2019d have bellies as flat as Barack\u2019s!\u201d
\n\u201cWell, a budget\u2019s a diet:
\nMaybe Barry should try it
\nAnd resist the temptation to tax!\u201d
\n(2011)<\/p>\n

BUTT OUT!
\nWe Americans surely are prone
\nTo big bodies with minimal tone:
\nIf Michelle wants to witness
\nTo physical fitness,
\nShe should shed a few pounds of her own!
\n(2011)<\/p>\n

LIGHTWEIGHT
\nGetting older, you may realize
\nThat your waistline\u2019s a much larger size,
\nBut Obama\u2019s stayed slim,
\nHaving kept himself trim:
\nLet\u2019s award him the No-Belly Prize!
\n(2009)<\/p>\n

IT\u2019S THE LAW!
\nSeatbelt on your easy chair,
\nLife vest in the tub to wear,
\nSteel-toed bedroom slippers,
\nVelcro trouser zippers,
\nFlame-retardant underwear.
\n(2009)<\/p>\n

CLICK IT OR TICKET
\n\u201cI\u2019m afraid I must take you downtown,\u201d
\nThe policeman announced with a frown.
\nSuch a fate I was dealt
\nFor not wearing a belt \u2013
\nWhich was why my new trousers fell down.
\n(2009)<\/p>\n

BASKET CASE
\nMy obesity just isn\u2019t funny
\nAnd I\u2019m suing for bundles of money:
\nWhen a basket of candy
\nIs too full and too handy,
\nWho\u2019s to blame but the old Easter Bunny?
\n(2005)<\/p>\n

McPIG
\nYou\u2019ve grown by leaps and bounds;
\nYour super size astounds;
\nThe fact is that
\nYou\u2019re really fat:
\nFour-three, three hundred pounds!
\n(2003)<\/p>\n

OLDER & WIDER
\nAs a lad I was long and lean
\nAnd drank gallons of Ovaltine,
\nBut I had to rethink
\nThat rich chocolate drink
\nWhen I wound up an oval teen.
\n(2002)<\/p>\n

ZERO RISK?
\nI anticipate danger ahead
\nAnd foresee myself injured or dead
\n\u2013 From falling, perchance,
\nWhile putting on pants,
\nSo I\u2019d better not get out bed.
\n(1999)<\/p>\n

BUSYBODIES
\nThey\u2019ll first find tobacco at fault,
\nThen coffee, wine, spirits, and malt.
\nThen they\u2019ll next demonize
\nColas, burgers, and fries,
\nThen all snacks made with sugar and salt!
\n(1998)<\/p>\n

NO CURE FOR THE COMMON SCOLD
\nThey insist we directly disown
\nEvery pleasure and pastime that\u2019s known.
\nThose \u201cnatural\u201d nags
\nAnd health-conscious hags \u2013
\nOh, why can\u2019t they leave us alone?
\n(1998)<\/p>\n

Last week’s limerick<\/em><\/p>\n

RUSSIAN INTO BATTLE
\nOn the day of the duel, he was glad
\nThat he\u2019d chosen the weapon he had:
\nTeleprompter for Barry.
\nAnd his poor adversary?
\nJust a shoulder-fired missile for Vlad.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier: TASTES LIKE HEALTH \u201cOh, you children are just gonna drool: Today\u2019s entr\u00e9e\u2019s a gray whole-grain gruel. It\u2019s an extra-large glop Of the savorless slop. Don\u2019t you love eating lunches at school?\u201d From the archive PASSIVE REGRESSIVE …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"slim_seo":{"title":"Your Weekly Politickle: TASTES LIKE HEALTH - Politickles","description":"Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier: TASTES LIKE HEALTH \u201cOh, you children are just gonna drool: Today\u2019s entr\u00e9e\u2019s a"},"_slim_seo_primary_term_category":0,"_slim_seo_primary_term_post_tag":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[588,2646,2442,7,4499,4500],"class_list":["post-9131","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-fr-duplantier","tag-michelle-obama","tag-political-limerick","tag-politickle","tag-school-lunch","tag-whole-grain"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9131","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9131"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9131\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9131"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9131"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9131"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}