AKA
\nNelson, Luciano, Capone
\nAll had nicknames uniquely their own.
\nIn Bill Clinton\u2019s case,
\nYou can bet \u201cCigarface\u201d
\nIs the moniker by which he\u2019ll be known!<\/p>\n
BILL IN A CHINA SHOP
\nCampaign prospects are more sunny
\nWhen the coffer\u2019s full of money.
\nLeave it to Bill
\nTo fill the till
\nWith money that is funny!<\/p>\n
BILL PAYING
\nPardon him, pardon her, pardon you.
\nPardon everyone Bill ever knew.
\nThere’s no need to be frugal:
\nPardon Hubbell, McDougall,
\nPardon Gore, pardon Hillary too!<\/p>\n
BILL\u2019S RESOLUTION
\n\u201cI promise this year to begin
\nTo exercise, diet, grow thin;
\nI resolve I will try
\nNot to tell one more lie __
\nAt least, never the same one again!\u201d<\/p>\n
BILLY THE KID
\n\u201cI\u2019m a master at keeping the lid
\nOn the illegal things that I did,
\nSo there\u2019s no way to show
\nAny quid for a quo
\nJust call me the \u2018Cover-Up Kid.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
BUBBA BATH
\nEight years of the Clintons in power
\nLeave a taste in the mouth that is sour
\nAnd an overall sense
\nThat we need a good rinse
\nAnd should spend extra time in the shower.<\/p>\n
CLINTONIAN DIPLOMACY
\n\u201cWe\u2019ll supply whatsoever you need
\nTo ensure your armed forces succeed,
\nAnd we won\u2019t make a fuss
\nIf you use them on us,
\n\u2018Cause our sole motivation is greed.<\/p>\n
COMMISSION IMPOSSIBLE
\nThe \u201cimpartial\u201d commission betrayed
\nPublic trust and became a charade:
\nUnfair and uncouth,
\nThey have trampled the truth,
\nBlaming Bush for the mess Clinton made.<\/p>\n
CONSERVATIVE MOVEMENT
\nThere once was an arch conservative
\nWho regarded as simply superlative
\nThe power of Bill\u2019s
\nOratorical skills
\nTo serve as an all-purpose purgative.<\/p>\n
CONSPIRACY THEORY?
\nAll around him Bill sees pointed fingers
\nAnd enemies that run him through wringers.
\nSure, he cheated and lied,
\nBut he just can\u2019t abide
\nThose malicious, conspiring right-wingers!<\/p>\n
DOLLAR BILL
\nClinton soon will be basking in glory
\nWith a tale we know false a priori.
\nHow I wish some dumb clucks
\nWould pay 12 million bucks
\nTo field my fabricated life story!<\/p>\n
ENDANGERED SPECIES
\nRon Brown was but one of those linked
\nTo the friends of Bill Clinton who blinked.
\nWho\u2019ll next join the roster
\nWith the late Vincent Foster
\nOf the cronies confirmed as extinct?<\/p>\n
FEELING HIS OWN PAIN
\nAware that he may be disbarred,
\nBill Clinton is taking it hard:
\nHe’s never once paid
\nFor mistakes he has made
\nAnd would rather not reap his reward.<\/p>\n
FULL OF BILL
\nWe\u2019d expected to be fully free
\nOf his follies by 2003,
\nBut, lacking the grace
\nTo go hide his face,
\nClinton keeps crying out, “Look at me!”<\/p>\n
HOT SPRINGS ETERNAL
\nBill can suffer the arrows and slings
\nOf outrageous, unfortunate flings,
\n\u2019Cause this big ham from Hope
\nLearned early to cope
\nBy consorting with cons in Hot Springs.<\/p>\n
I AM A CROOK, SO WHAT?
\nThe obstructionist\u2019s \u201cstonewall\u201d was breached
\nAnd \u201ccritical mass\u201d was then reached.
\nBut, unlike Dick Nixon,
\nThe Comeback Kid\u2019s fixin\u2019
\nTo stay on after being impeached.<\/p>\n
INITIAL REACTION
\nThe intern arrived optimistic,
\nBut her outlook proved unrealistic.
\nNow she\u2019s anxious to flee,
\nHaving learned that D.C.
\nMeans \u201cDistinguishing Characteristic.\u201d<\/p>\n
INSIDE JOB
\nHaving failed in a decades-long try,
\nAn appreciative communist spy
\nPays a due compliment
\nTo our own President
\nFor destroying the FBI.<\/p>\n
KING CLINTON
\n\u201cI\u2019m putting the Congress at ease
\nAnd giving the governors the breeze:
\nWith executive orders,
\nI need no supporters
\nAnd can do pretty much as I please!\u201d<\/p>\n
LOATHING BILL CLINTON
\nEach September 11th ask why
\nThe best President money could buy
\n— When Osama bin Laden
\nMight well have been gotten —
\nDid not even bother to try.<\/p>\n
LYING HISTORY
\nA librarian with conviction,
\nFinding too much contradiction
\nIn a certain book
\nBy a noted crook,
\nHad it classified as \u201cfiction.\u201d<\/p>\n
MR. PRECEDENT
\nWhat a vile conglomeration
\nOf every abomination:
\nIn Clinton\u2019s wake,
\nOnly villains will make
\nA bid for the nomination.<\/p>\n
NEW WORD ORDERED
\nHerewith we summarize
\nThe new defense for lies:
\n\u201cThough you believe
\nThat I deceive,
\nI merely clintonize!\u201d<\/p>\n
THE POLITICS OF DEMEANING
\nWhen Bill sells a scheme he\u2019s emphatic,
\nHis response to his foes automatic:
\nAnyone who says, \u201cBut –\u201d
\nIs dismissed as a nut,
\nA right-wing religious fanatic.<\/p>\n
PUTTING THE LEG IN LEGACY
\nA filtering V-chip\u2019s desired
\n\u2018Til our Masher-in-Chief is retired:
\nHis obsession with sex
\nMakes our news triple-X
\nAnd parental discretion required.<\/p>\n
RIADY OR NOT, HERE WE COME!
\n\u201cThough funds that the DNC spent
\nDid arise in the Orient,
\nOur designs are disputable,
\nLippo\u2019s motives inscrutable —
\nCan you prove that we\u2019re not innocent?\u201d<\/p>\n
SAFE SAX
\n\u201cThe voter has no head for facts.
\nThey stop him right dead in his tracks.
\nThe public,\u201d said Bill,
\n\u201cJust wants a cheap thrill.
\nNow, Hillary, hand me my sax.\u201d<\/p>\n
SOLITARY ASSURED DESTRUCTION
\nHas Bill taken leave of his senses,
\nDismantling all our defenses
\nAnd providing resources
\nTo enemy forces
\nRegardless of consequences?<\/p>\n
SORRY PERFORMANCE
\nHere\u2019s the presidential line
\nOn a penitential fine:
\n\u201cI\u2019ll gladly confess
\nAnd make redress
\nFor everyone\u2019s sin but mine!\u201d<\/p>\n
SO THAT\u2019S WHAT YOU CALL IT!
\nShe was flattered he found her appealing,
\nBut preferred that he be less revealing.
\nBill tried to explain
\nHe was feeling her pain,
\nBut Paula knew what he was feeling!<\/p>\n
STANDARD BARER
\nWe\u2019ll overlook Bill\u2019s obfuscations,
\nAnd his sexual aberrations,
\nAnd perhaps, within reason,
\nWe\u2019ll tolerate treason
\n\u2019Cause he\u2019s meeting our low expectations.<\/p>\n
STAYTHERE KID
\nBefore he had started to pack,
\nBill\u2019s visit to China caught flack,
\nBut Clinton should know
\nHe was welcome to go
\nJust so long as he didn\u2019t come back!<\/p>\n
STUDENT TEACHER
\n\u201cIf only we\u2019d known before now
\nWhat a crafty excuse will allow:
\nWhen your villainies vex,
\nSay it\u2019s just about sex,\u201d
\nChuckled Hitler and Stalin and Mao.<\/p>\n
SURLY REALISM
\nA President shouldn\u2019t tell lies
\nOr do things that are really unwise,
\nBut who cares about \u201cshould\u201d
\nWhen the economy\u2019s good
\nAnd the stock market\u2019s on the rise?<\/p>\n
TELL IT TO THE MARINES!
\nWhat a debt we all owe to marines!
\nWe\u2019re so glad that they go to extremes,
\nAnd we think Sara Lister
\nAnd Bill the Resister
\nShould be ordered to clean the latrines.<\/p>\n
THEY\u2019RE PLAYING OUR SONG
\nOur nation is destined for grief
\nIf our leader has no fixed belief
\nAnd conclusions are drawn
\nAs to whose side he\u2019s on
\nWhen China plays \u201cHail to the Chief.\u201d<\/p>\n
TIME OUT
\nNow listen, young man, don\u2019t be hesitant
\nTo follow my rules while you\u2019re resident.
\nHow often have I
\nSaid you never must lie?
\nNow go to your room, Mr. President!<\/p>\n
TOUJOURS L\u2019AUDACE!
\nThe Prez has perfected the skill
\nTo do whatsoever he will:
\nHe just ignites
\nOur Bill of Rights
\nAnd claims the \u201crights\u201d of Bill.<\/p>\n
TRUST BUSTER
\nThe Prez is professing a peeve,
\nThat appearances often deceive:
\n\u201cOh sure, it may look
\nLike I\u2019m some kind of crook,
\nBut who are you gonna believe?\u201d<\/p>\n
TV OR NOT TV?
\nThe Clintons perfected a ruse
\nWhich the networks all use to excuse
\nTheir failure to handle
\nThe penultimate scandal
\nAnd televise \u201cyesterday\u2019s news.\u201d<\/p>\n
THE UNEXAMINED \u201cLIFE\u201d
\nNo, I\u2019m not buying Bill Clinton\u2019s book
\nAnd I won\u2019t even give it a look \u2014
\nHad enough of that hound
\nThe first time around
\nAnd have nothing to learn from a crook.<\/p>\n
VOLUNTEERING
\n\u201cCome quick, everyone, on the double!
\nA friend needs our help, he\u2019s in trouble.
\nAnd a man without means
\nJust might spill the beans,
\nSo let\u2019s all lend a hand to Webb Hubbell!\u201d<\/p>\n
WHO PAYS?
\nNot so sweet his taste of swill.
\nNot so cheap his lastest thrill.
\nHow high the price
\nThat\u2019s paid for vice!
\nHow right the name of \u201cBill.\u201d<\/p>\n
WRONG ENDING
\nBoth Clinton and Gore played the king, which
\nMeans both deserved Congress\u2019 sting, which
\nMeans both should’ve been sacked.
\nBut they stayed on intact
\nAnd departed was House Speaker Gingrich!<\/p>\n
ZOMBIES
\nFrom justice they craftily fled
\nAnd avoided the sanctions they dread;
\nNow O.J. and Bill
\nCan linger at will
\nIn the night of the fast-living dead.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
AKA Nelson, Luciano, Capone All had nicknames uniquely their own. In Bill Clinton\u2019s case, You can bet \u201cCigarface\u201d Is the moniker by which he\u2019ll be known! BILL IN A CHINA SHOP Campaign prospects are more sunny When the coffer\u2019s full of money. Leave it to Bill To fill the till …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"slim_seo":{"title":"Clinton's Legacy in Limericks - Politickles","description":"AKA Nelson, Luciano, Capone All had nicknames uniquely their own. In Bill Clinton\u2019s case, You can bet \u201cCigarface\u201d Is the moniker by which he\u2019ll be known! BILL I"},"_slim_seo_primary_term_category":0,"_slim_seo_primary_term_post_tag":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[262,2947,2948,3859,588,7,3860],"class_list":["post-7692","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-bill-clinton","tag-clinton-limericks","tag-clinton-politickles","tag-clintons-legacy-in-limericks","tag-fr-duplantier","tag-politickle","tag-president-clinton"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7692","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7692"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7692\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7692"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7692"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7692"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}