{"id":5351,"date":"2010-09-27T11:26:18","date_gmt":"2010-09-27T16:26:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/?p=5351"},"modified":"2010-09-27T11:26:18","modified_gmt":"2010-09-27T16:26:18","slug":"your-weekly-politickle-pledge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/your-weekly-politickle-pledge\/","title":{"rendered":"Your Weekly Politickle: PLEDGE"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:<\/strong><\/p>\n

PLEDGE
\n\u201cI\u2019ll oppose social revolution
\nAnd income redistribution,
\nI will take an ax
\nTo the federal tax
\nAnd adhere to our Constitution.\u201d<\/p>\n

From the archive:<\/em><\/p>\n

TAXPAYER’S LAMENT
\nOf my annual earnings Uncle Sam will extract
\nFully two-fifths, as a matter of fact.
\nThat’s quite a large portion, but what’s got me burned:
\nI’ll never see that much in service returned.
\nDomestic tranquility and the common defense
\nAre the only two items that are worth the expense.
\nAnd who can depend in his golden old days
\nOn the pittance that Social Security pays?
\nWe all know the System is not even sound;
\nBy the time we retire, it won’t be around.<\/p>\n

What would I do with a few extra grand?
\nFor such a sweet surplus, here’s what I’ve got planned:
\nI’ll feast on filets and heave out the hash;
\nI’ll chuck my old chinos and dress with panache.
\nI’ll make a deposit on the decent-size house
\nI’d love to provide for my children and spouse.
\n(If we just had the money, if only we could,
\nWe’d much rather live in a nice neighborhood.)
\nUncle Sam takes too much of the money I’ve earned.
\nHe must have forgotten what the British Crown learned.<\/p>\n

Life would be rosy, for the first time in years:
\nI’d be in the black, instead of arrears.
\nI’d pay off the balance on each credit card —
\nVisa, Discover, and Montgomery Ward.
\nI’d pay off the note on my Chevy “Classique”
\nAnd buy me a car that’s not an antique.
\nI’d undo the default at my old alma mater
\nAnd attend our homecoming a persona<\/em> who’s grata<\/em>.
\nOf what would be left — a handsome amount —
\nI’d put every cent in a savings account!<\/p>\n

Well, not every<\/em> cent — there’s so much to do
\nWith a few grand a year, for so many years too!
\nI might make provision, in case of disaster,
\nTo ensure that yours truly remains his own master.
\nI might purchase a policy, term or whole life,
\nBenefitting my children, grandchildren, and wife.
\nI might line up a health plan that covers things dental
\n(Even more comprehensive, in case I go mental).
\nI could afford these things now, were it not for my tax —
\nI’m one of those wretches who’ve fallen through cracks.<\/p>\n

There are other investments I’d make with each grand —
\nIf my after-tax income exceeded demand.
\nI’d buy stocks and bonds with my yearly rebates,
\nRare books, stamps and coins, and collectible plates.
\nI’d invest in myself, maybe learn a new skill,
\nSome trade to fall back on when I’m over the hill.
\nI’d invest in my children, to help them excel,
\nAnd then, in my dotage, they might treat me well.
\n(Yet another investment that pays dividends
\nIs to spend some time traveling and making new friends.)<\/p>\n

With a few extra grand, I’d no longer be penniless.
\nFor once in my life, I could afford to be generous.
\nI could give to my church a sizable sum,
\nOr set up an annual scholarship fund.
\nI could sponsor a mission and some needy child,
\nOr save some rare species at risk in the wild.
\nI could hire some musicians to play in the park
\nOr pay pyrotechnicians to light up the dark.
\nI would spend my own money however I please!
\nWhy should I scrimp to put tyrants at ease?
\n(1999)<\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier: PLEDGE \u201cI\u2019ll oppose social revolution And income redistribution, I will take an ax To the federal tax And adhere to our Constitution.\u201d From the archive: TAXPAYER’S LAMENT Of my annual earnings Uncle Sam will extract Fully …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"slim_seo":{"title":"Your Weekly Politickle: PLEDGE - Politickles","description":"Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier: PLEDGE \u201cI\u2019ll oppose social revolution And income redistribution, I will take a"},"_slim_seo_primary_term_category":0,"_slim_seo_primary_term_post_tag":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2709,2710,588,1288,2712,2711,2708,7,1292,24],"class_list":["post-5351","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-contract-with-america","tag-cultural-revolution","tag-fr-duplantier","tag-income-tax","tag-internal-revenue-service","tag-irs","tag-pledge-to-america","tag-politickle","tag-sixteenth-amendment","tag-socialism"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5351","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5351"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5351\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5351"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5351"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5351"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}