{"id":3984,"date":"2009-11-30T00:27:18","date_gmt":"2009-11-30T05:27:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/?p=3984"},"modified":"2009-11-30T00:27:18","modified_gmt":"2009-11-30T05:27:18","slug":"your-weekly-politickle-global-lies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/your-weekly-politickle-global-lies\/","title":{"rendered":"Your Weekly Politickle: GLOBAL LIES"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"lie\"
\nFeel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:<\/em><\/p>\n

GLOBAL LIES
\nGlobal warming was always in doubt,
\nBut they pushed it with all of their clout:
\nIf those climate-change crooks
\nReally cooked all the books,
\nThen what else were we lied to about?<\/p>\n

From the archive:<\/em><\/p>\n

CAP\u2019N TRADE
\n\u201cHere I come to save the day!
\nEveryone will have to pay!
\nI will pull a switch
\nThat will make me rich
\nAs my stock goes up and away!\u201d
\n(2009)<\/p>\n

SCIENCE SAYS
\n\u201cScience says beware because
\nNow it\u2019s warmer than it was.
\nJust listen to me
\nAnd you\u2019ll agree:
\nScience says what I say it does.\u201d
\n(2009)<\/p>\n

INSIDER TRADING
\nDo delusions of warming derange
\nAnd compel poor Al Gore to act strange?
\nNo, the reason he\u2019s fishin\u2019
\nFor those caps on emission
\nIs his stock in the carbon exchange.
\n(2007)<\/p>\n

HOTHEAD
\nHas Al Gore taken too many tokes
\nOn that strange cigarette that he smokes?
\nStill, the burden of proof
\nIs on every green goof
\nWho espouses the climate-change hoax.
\n(2007)<\/p>\n

AN INCONSISTENT BOOB, CONT.
\n\u201cIf superior beings ignore
\nCertain limits and use a bit more,
\nThen the peons, I guess,
\nWill just have to use less,\u201d
\nSniffed a gluttonous, glutinous Gore.
\n(2007)<\/p>\n

HOT HEADS
\nThey defend climate change willy-nilly,
\nAnd lately they\u2019ve gotten plain silly:
\nSaying snow, ice, and sleet
\nMust be caused by the heat \u2013
\nAnd that\u2019s why the weather\u2019s so chilly.
\n(2007)<\/p>\n

SNOW DOUBT
\nAs a theory it\u2019s cheesily charming,
\nExcept when the neighborhood\u2019s swarming
\nWith snow, sleet, and ice
\nFrom unfair Fahrenheits,
\nAnd we\u2019re longing for real global warming.
\n(2006)<\/p>\n

MOWER LESS
\nWhile it has been unreasonably hot,
\nAnd I do tend to wish it were not,
\nI am glad to save gas
\nBy not cutting the grass,
\n\u2019Cause there\u2019s none on my shriveled-up lot.
\n(2006)<\/p>\n

AN INCONSISTENT BOOB
\nAl Gore worries the world\u2019s getting hot,
\nAnd all over the globe he will trot,
\nWarmly warning the masses
\nAbout grave greenhouse gases
\nCaused by people who travel a lot.
\n(2006)<\/p>\n

HEAT RASHNESS
\nEvery Spring they start their swarming
\nAnd fantastical alarming,
\nFearing and oh-dearing
\nThat the end is nearing,
\n\u2019Cause it\u2019s April and it\u2019s warming.
\n(2006)<\/p>\n

WARM MONGERS
\nAlarmists like to heighten
\nAnxieties and frighten \u2013
\nTheir aim\u2019s made clear
\nIn State of Fear
\nBy author Michael Crichton.
\n(2006)<\/p>\n

ABATED BREATH
\nWhether sickly or healthy and hale,
\nWe object when the air gets too stale,
\nBut what shall we do
\nWhen they ban CO2
\nAnd deny us the right to exhale?
\n(2001)<\/p>\n

TRUTH IN THE BALANCE
\nThe temperature\u2019s not getting higher.
\nOur environmental future\u2019s not dire.
\nWith the best yet to come,
\nThere\u2019s no need to be glum:
\nAl Gore, you\u2019re an ozone liar!
\n(2000)<\/p>\n

CHICKEN LITTLE
\nDoomsday deadlines bear recalling
\nWhen they\u2019ve passed and we\u2019re not sprawling:
\nIf dreaded fate
\nIs running late,
\nThen perhaps the sky\u2019s not falling.
\n(2000)<\/p>\n

EMISSION IMPOSSIBLE
\nWe\u2019re faced with a problem that\u2019s prickly.
\nWe\u2019d better do something, and quickly.
\nForget the suspicions
\nAbout greenhouse emissions:
\nIt\u2019s the wind from the White House that\u2019s sickly.
\n(1999)<\/p>\n

VICTIMLESS CLIME
\nThe penguin complained, \u201cIt\u2019s too hot!\u201d
\nThe hippo replied, \u201cNo, it\u2019s not!\u201d
\nThe gator, when polled,
\nInsisted, \u201cToo cold!\u201d
\nAnd the polar bear grumbled, \u201cWhat rot!\u201d
\n(1998)<\/p>\n

THINK GULLIBLY, ACT LOCO-LY
\nThe temperature rose in July
\nCompared to December, quite high.
\nIt\u2019s really alarming
\nThis \u201cseasonal warming.\u201d
\nOh, lordy, we\u2019re all gonna fry!
\n(1997)<\/p>\n

Last week’s limerick:<\/em><\/p>\n

ASK AND RECEIVE
\nThe poor Tinman is lacking a heart,
\nWhile the Scarecrow is not very smart;
\nAnd the King of the Forest,
\nExpected to roar best,
\nIs reluctant to play a brave part.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier: GLOBAL LIES Global warming was always in doubt, But they pushed it with all of their clout: If those climate-change crooks Really cooked all the books, Then what else were we lied to about? From the …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"slim_seo":{"title":"Your Weekly Politickle: GLOBAL LIES - Politickles","description":"Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier: GLOBAL LIES Global warming was always in doubt, But they pushed it with all of"},"_slim_seo_primary_term_category":0,"_slim_seo_primary_term_post_tag":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[267,1350,1352,266,2147,2146,265,1347],"class_list":["post-3984","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-al-gore","tag-cap-and-trade","tag-carbon-exchange","tag-climate-change","tag-climate-change-crooks","tag-global-lies","tag-global-warming","tag-global-warming-hoax"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3984","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3984"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3984\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3984"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3984"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3984"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}