{"id":370,"date":"2008-11-21T09:12:53","date_gmt":"2008-11-21T15:12:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/?p=370"},"modified":"2008-11-21T09:31:08","modified_gmt":"2008-11-21T15:31:08","slug":"enough-with-the-global-warming","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/enough-with-the-global-warming\/","title":{"rendered":"Brr! Global Warming!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Turn up the heat, somebody. The globe is freezing. Even Al Gore is looking for an extra blanket. — Wes Pruden<\/a>, Washington Times<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’ll be glad when the global warming hysteria expires. I’m running out of ways to make fun of it.<\/p>\n

ABATED BREATH
\nWhether sickly or healthy and hale,
\nWe object when the air gets too stale,
\nBut what shall we do
\nWhen they ban CO2
\nAnd deny us the right to exhale?<\/p>\n

CHICKEN LITTLE
\nDoomsday deadlines bear recalling
\nWhen they’ve passed and we’re not sprawling:
\nIf dreaded fate
\nIs running late,
\nThen perhaps the sky’s not falling.<\/p>\n

GAG
\nThe dry wit of George Gobel was charming,
\nBut its after effects are alarming:
\nWhen we laugh ’til we’re blue,
\nWe release CO2
\nAnd contribute to dread “Gobel Warming.”<\/p>\n

HEAT RASHNESS
\nEvery Spring they start their swarming
\nAnd fantastical alarming,
\nFearing and oh-dearing
\nThat the end is nearing,
\n‘Cause it’s April and it’s warming.<\/p>\n

HOTHEAD
\nHas Al Gore taken too many tokes
\nOn that strange cigarette that he smokes?
\nStill, the burden of proof
\nIs on every green goof
\nWho espouses the climate-change hoax.<\/p>\n

HOT HEADS
\nThey defend “climate change” willy-nilly,
\nAnd lately they’ve gotten plain silly:
\nSaying snow, ice, and sleet
\nMust be caused by the heat —
\nAnd that’s why the weather’s so chilly.<\/p>\n

AN INCONSISTENT BOOB
\nAl Gore worries the world’s getting hot,
\nAnd all over the globe he will trot,
\nWarmly warning the masses
\nAbout grave greenhouse gases
\nCaused by people who travel a lot.<\/p>\n

AN INCONSISTENT BOOB, CONT.
\n“If superior beings ignore
\nCertain limits and use a bit more,
\nThen the peons, I guess,
\nWill just have to use less,”
\nSniffed a gluttonous, glutinous Gore.<\/p>\n

SNOW DOUBT
\nAs a theory it’s cheesily charming,
\nExcept when the neighborhood’s swarming
\nWith snow, sleet, and ice
\nFrom unfair Fahrenheits,
\nAnd we’re longing for real global warming.<\/p>\n

THINK GULLIBLY, ACT LOCO-LY
\nThe temperature rose in July
\nCompared to December, quite high.
\nIt\u2019s really alarming
\nThis \u201cseasonal warming.\u201d
\nOh, lordy, we\u2019re all gonna fry!<\/p>\n

TRUTH IN THE BALANCE
\nThe temperature\u2019s not getting higher.
\nOur environmental future\u2019s not dire.
\nWith the best yet to come,
\nThere\u2019s no need to be glum:
\nAl Gore, you\u2019re an ozone liar!<\/p>\n

VICTIMLESS CLIME
\nThe penguin complained, \u201cIt\u2019s too hot!\u201d
\nThe hippo replied, \u201cNo, it\u2019s not!\u201d
\nThe gator, when polled,
\nInsisted, \u201cToo cold!\u201d
\nAnd the polar bear grumbled, \u201cWhat rot!\u201d<\/p>\n

WARM MONGERS
\nAlarmists like to heighten
\nAnxieties and frighten —
\nTheir aim’s made clear
\nIn State of Fear<\/em>
\nBy author Michael Crichton.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Turn up the heat, somebody. The globe is freezing. Even Al Gore is looking for an extra blanket. — Wes Pruden, Washington Times I’ll be glad when the global warming hysteria expires. I’m running out of ways to make fun of it. ABATED BREATH Whether sickly or healthy and hale, …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"slim_seo":{"title":"Brr! Global Warming! - Politickles","description":"Turn up the heat, somebody. The globe is freezing. Even Al Gore is looking for an extra blanket. -- Wes Pruden , Washington Times I'll be glad when the global w"},"_slim_seo_primary_term_category":0,"_slim_seo_primary_term_post_tag":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[267,266,265,32],"class_list":["post-370","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-al-gore","tag-climate-change","tag-global-warming","tag-wes-pruden"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/370","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=370"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/370\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=370"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=370"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=370"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}