{"id":8784,"date":"2013-12-01T20:54:56","date_gmt":"2013-12-02T02:54:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/?page_id=8784"},"modified":"2020-09-05T06:58:38","modified_gmt":"2020-09-05T11:58:38","slug":"politickles2013","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/politickles2013\/","title":{"rendered":"2013"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Year in Verse<\/strong>
\nA Politickles Retrospective<\/p>\n

WHITE LIE<\/strong>
\nAs the years made them grayer and golder,
\nEvery New Year’s he hugged her and told her
\nThat he loved her and she
\nWas still young as could be —
\nThough their children had gotten much older.<\/p>\n

ORTHODUCKS<\/strong>
\nLet the deviants raise their great din
\nBecause someone called sodomy sin:
\nThough they sway A&E,
\nThey can\u2019t make you and me
\nOr the Robertsons ever give in.<\/p>\n

GLIMMER<\/strong>
\nComes the end of the overlong night
\nAnd the dawn of the life-giving Light:
\nPagans say Christians stole this,
\nBut the old winter solstice
\nForeshadowed a predestined rite.<\/p>\n

LOOK!<\/strong>
\nThere’s a cross holding phone lines up high,
\nThere’s a Eucharist disc in the sky:
\nIf you’re seeking a sign
\nOf a present Divine,
\nAll you need is a sharp, searching eye.<\/p>\n

BLANK FRIDAY<\/strong>
\nI’m not certain it actually pays
\nTo be part of the Black Friday craze.
\nAm I first in the store?
\nNo, I’m at the wrong door
\n— After camping out 25 days.<\/p>\n

BLOCK<\/strong>
\nFor so long I have dreaded this day
\nWhen my muse might meander away!
\nNow my deadline has come
\nAnd I feel really dumb,
\n‘Cause I find I have nothing to say.<\/p>\n

TURKEY SURPRISE<\/strong>
\n“Maw, I cain’t get the butcherin’ done.
\nYou an’ Granny had both better run:
\nThat big turkey’s a-fussin’
\nAn’ comin’ for us’n —
\nWith my hatchet and Paw’s 12-gauge gun!”<\/p>\n

OBAMAWEAR<\/strong>
\nThis new one-size-fits-all suit fits bad
\nAnd cost more than the nice suit I had:
\nThe new jacket’s too tight,
\nThe new trousers aren’t right,
\nAnd my one choice of fabric was plaid.<\/p>\n

TA DA!<\/strong>
\n“I’m so sorry Obamacare’s bad
\nAnd the folks I bamboozled are mad,
\nBut I’ve not been defeated:
\nIn fact, I’ve succeeded —
\nIn breaking the system we had.”<\/p>\n

PASSIVE REGRESSIVE<\/strong>
\nThere’ll be someone to see that we share
\nAnd make sure that we always play fair,
\nThat we want to behave
\nFrom the cradle to grave:
\nI can’t wait for ObamaDayCare.<\/p>\n

DIGITAL COMMUNICATION<\/strong>
\nBarry’s Halloween costume’s a zinger.
\nIt requires barely lifting a finger.
\nHaven’t you heard, man?
\nHe’s going as Birdman,
\nAs a gesture for every right-winger.<\/p>\n

UNDELIVERABLE<\/strong>
\nNow you’re covered to end this “condition”
\nAnd can freely forestall all fruition;
\nStill, you think that just maybe
\nYou might opt for a baby,
\nBut Obamacare won’t grant permission.<\/p>\n

LAME<\/strong>
\nBaby Barry (What a cluck!)
\nAlways likes to pass the buck.
\nWhen the chumps
\nWon’t take his lumps,
\nBaby Barry’s out of luck.<\/p>\n

HISSY FIT<\/strong>
\nBaby Barry ran away.
\nBaby Barry will not play.
\nThere’ll be nothing done
\nAnd no more fun
\n‘Til the baby gets his way.<\/p>\n

OPT-OUT<\/strong>
\nTo please Democrats pushing preemption
\nAnd Republicans craving redemption,
\nLet Obamacare
\nBe utterly fair
\nAnd grant everyone an exemption.<\/p>\n

UNSAFE AT HOME<\/strong>
\nWe Americans should be alarmed
\nThat our troops overseas might be harmed,
\nBut they’re much safer there
\nThan at bases back here
\nWhere defenders have all been disarmed.<\/p>\n

NULL & VOID<\/strong>
\nFounding Fathers, so afraid
\nSome might mar the pact they’d made,
\nSaid a law unlawful
\nIs something awful
\nAnd need not be obeyed.<\/p>\n

BARRYOMETER<\/strong>
\n‘I take credit for any success —
\nAll the plaudits and all the good press —
\nBut find others to blame
\nAnd assume all the shame
\nWhen my policies make a big mess.’<\/p>\n

WAGE WAR<\/strong>
\nA burger the price of a steak?
\nA $10 chocolate shake?
\n$10 fries
\nAnd hot apple pies?
\nWho remembers “deserving a break”?<\/p>\n

TELL ME AGAIN<\/strong>
\nGetting older, a geezer may grouse
\nWhen forgetting the name of his spouse
\nOr when needing a clue
\nAs to how to get to
\nThe bathroom that’s in his own house.<\/p>\n

VACAY<\/strong>
\n“Going places together’s a drag
\nAs Michelle and I’d rather go stag:
\nEither way, we both will
\nRashly run up the bill
\nAnd leave taxpayers holding the bag.<\/p>\n

RODEOBAMA<\/strong>
\nDid a single State Fairgoer frown
\nAt the thought of a bull running down
\nSuch a shuffling shirker
\nAnd smart-aleck smirker
\nAs Obama the rodeo clown?<\/p>\n

“DID I DO THAT?<\/strong>”
\nWhen the blood of Seals is spilled,
\nU.S. border agents killed,
\nAnd our boys in Benghazi
\nBecome kamikaze,
\nWe must ask by whom it’s willed.<\/p>\n

SENSE OF HUMA<\/strong>
\n“If your husband is horny like Bill,
\nYou should pose as the good wife like Hill.
\nDo whatever you must
\nTo regain public trust:
\nOnce in office, then do what you will.”<\/p>\n

MARYLAND HEIST<\/strong>
\nHe’s supposed to protect and defend,
\nBut in Maryland Heights it’s pretend:
\nWhen you come to a stop,
\nYou get robbed by a cop
\nWhose department wants money to spend.<\/p>\n

ORDURE IN THE COURT<\/strong>
\nChoosing sides and then nursing a grudge
\nWith a wink and a nod and a nudge,
\nOne who knew the imperative
\nOf maintaining a narrative:
\nDebra Nelson the partisan judge.<\/p>\n

INTOLERANT GAZE<\/strong>
\nWith attire and with actions obscene,
\nParade-goers are out to demean,
\nTo insult and offend
\nAnd right order upend:
\nIt’s not pride they’re displaying, but spleen.<\/p>\n

MARTINIZING<\/strong>
\n“May his memory not be defiled,
\nThis young angel who never was wild.
\nPay no heed to the lies
\nThat suggest otherwise:
\nLil Trayvon was an innocent child!”<\/p>\n

SPY VERSUS PIE<\/strong>
\n“Hello? Hello? Hello?
\nI am trying to reach Domino’s.
\nWho is this? ‘NSA’?!!!
\nTake my order, okay?
\nTell them three deep-dish pizzas to go!”<\/p>\n

HAPPY WHATEVER’S DAY!<\/strong>
\n“Is your father a man? I’m so glad.
\nThat’s the kind that I wish that I had —
\nOne that’s not a pretender,
\nOne that is the right gender —
\nBut my mother’s butch lover’s my ‘dad.'”<\/p>\n

BIG EARS<\/strong>
\nDoes Obama read my email?
\nDoes Obama tap my phone?
\nDoes he peer into my bedroom
\nWith a dragonfly-shaped drone?
\nDoes he know my favorite color,
\nMovie, music, and cologne?
\nDoes he know I like chai latte
\nWith a croissant or a scone?
\nDoes he know where I’ve donated,
\nWhere I’ve driven to or flown?
\nDoes he check my charge card charges
\nJust as if they were his own?
\nDoes he recognize no boundaries
\nAnd respect no private zone?
\nDoes Obama lack the decency
\nTo leave us all alone?<\/p>\n

STUCK IN DEBASEMENT<\/strong>
\nTreat your people as if they were knaves,
\nMake them crave what an animal craves,
\nConfiscate all their wealth,
\nMicromanage their health,
\nAnd you’ll soon have a nation of slaves.<\/p>\n

BE PREPARED<\/strong>
\nWho knows what to make of “scouting”
\nAnd once-winsome words like “outing”?
\nWhat plain terms mean
\nMay be obscene
\nWhen acceptance turns to touting.<\/p>\n

PEER REVIEW<\/strong>
\n“Kermit Gosnell has gotten us riled,
\nBy his actions we’ve all been defiled,
\nBut he does not belong
\nWith the rest of our throng:
\nWe have standards for killing a child!”<\/p>\n

HILLARITY<\/strong>
\n“Though she’s ugly, dishonest, and mean,
\nJust the wickedest witch ever seen,
\nShe’s the best that we’ve got,
\nSo let’s give her a shot
\nAnd elect her in Twenty-Sixteen.”<\/p>\n

POST GRAD<\/strong>
\n“Only oldsters like me will still know
\nWhat those cities were called long ago
\n— Hallowed names they once had,
\nThose now ending in -grad:
\nSan Francisco, St. Louis, St. Joe.”<\/p>\n

PULL!<\/strong>
\nWith much practice, a trap shooter hones
\nHis precision with shotguns he owns,
\nBut his targets today
\nAre not made out of clay:
\nIn his backyard, he’s shooting down drones.<\/p>\n

REVERSE RIDE<\/strong>
\nListen, my children, and you shall hear
\nOf the Boylston St. bombers’ brief career:
\nHow demagogues avidly used the alarm
\nTo bully their betters and make them disarm
\nAnd a people once free succumbed to their fear.<\/p>\n

IRON LADY<\/strong>
\nThere was no one in England could match her,
\nNot one woman or man of her stature.
\nShe was destined to be
\nIn that Triumphant Three:
\nJohn Paul II, Ronald Reagan, Dame Thatcher.<\/p>\n

SWISH!<\/strong>
\n“It was best not to tell it or ask it,
\nBut it’s out now, so why try to mask it?
\nYes, Obama enjoys
\nPick-up games with the boys,
\nBut he pouts when he can’t get a basket.”<\/p>\n

HE LIVES<\/strong>
\nDemons dread this day,
\nThey hate to hear us say
\nYear after year
\nThe phrase they fear:
\n\u00a1Viva Cristo Rey!<\/p>\n

OAF FOR OFA*<\/strong>
\n“I will post on a popular site
\nThat appeals to the rubes on the right,
\nI’ll pretend to engage them,
\nThen I’ll quickly enrage them,
\nLeaving heat where there might have been light.”
\n*Organizing for Action<\/p>\n

POPE QUIZ<\/strong>
\n“I’m-a not-a so sure, I’m perplex:
\nHow we s’pose-a to choose pontifex?”
\n“It’s a cinch,” Guido say,
\n“They just got-a two way:
\nIt’s-a called the conclave and convlex.”<\/p>\n

ADIOS, AMEBA<\/strong>!
\nIt was only a matter of when:
\nHugo Chavez, the meanest of men,
\nA life thankfully brief,
\nFull of vices, the chief
\nBeing friendship with actor Sean Penn.<\/p>\n

SEDE VACANTE<\/strong>
\nWhen uncertainty hangs in the air,
\nIt behooves us to gather in prayer
\nWith the hope that God will
\nSend us someone to fill
\nThe unoccupied president’s chair.*
\n*Hat tip to Clint Eastwood<\/p>\n

AMERICAN HERO<\/strong>
\nAll the reds Joe McCarthy once named
\nHave turned out to be just what he claimed.
\nIs this patriot praised
\nFor the warnings he raised?
\nNo, McCarthy’s the one who is shamed!<\/p>\n

SIGN?<\/strong>
\nWhen another grand stratagem fails
\nAnd not one of my efforts avails,
\nI look up and I spy
\nA white cross in the sky
\nMade by planes leaving vaporous trails.<\/p>\n

GIFTED TONGUE<\/strong>
\nWhat he said was what everyone knows:
\nThat the emperor’s wearing no clothes.
\nBut we have to give credit
\nFor the way Carson said it
\nAnd the surgical method he chose.<\/p>\n

HILL OF BEANS<\/strong>
\n“Oh, for goodness sake:
\nI made a little mistake!
\nSo I lied and lied
\nAnd people died:
\nWhat difference does it make?”<\/p>\n

PRO-CHOICE?<\/strong>
\nThere are so many ways to take lives:
\nYou can do it with bombs, bats, or knives.
\nA big rock or a fist’ll
\nServe as well as a pistol:
\nIt’s a wonder that mankind survives.<\/p>\n

MARCH<\/strong>
\nNo, their numbers are never reported
\n(If they were, they’d be greatly distorted),
\nBut this year in the throng,
\nFifty million-plus strong,
\nAre the souls of the children aborted.<\/p>\n

PROTECTED CLASS<\/strong>
\n“When all private gun ownership’s barred,
\nI’m sure giving up mine won’t be hard:
\nI’ll be safe as before,
\nAnd perhaps even more —
\n‘Cause I’ll have a well-armed bodyguard.”<\/p>\n

INVOKING THE TENTH<\/strong>
\nWhen the government of our nation
\nSeeks to act without authorization,
\nIts bad laws don’t apply
\nAnd the States nullify
\nThe presumptuously passed legislation.<\/p>\n

MAYOR MAY NOT<\/strong>
\nWe can’t know what the future will bring,
\nWhat health hazards Fate at us will fling,
\nBut there’s nothing to fear
\nIn Manhattan this year:
\nMayor Bloomers has banned everything.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Year in Verse A Politickles Retrospective WHITE LIE As the years made them grayer and golder, Every New Year’s he hugged her and told her That he loved her and she Was still young as could be — Though their children had gotten much older. ORTHODUCKS Let the deviants …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"slim_seo":{"title":"2013 - Politickles","description":"The Year in Verse A Politickles Retrospective WHITE LIE As the years made them grayer and golder, Every New Year's he hugged her and told her That he loved her"},"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-8784","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/8784","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8784"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/8784\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/politickles.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8784"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}