The Mardi Gras Queen

by F.R. Duplantier

I came to New Orleans on a
Banana boat
To see if it’s true
What my cousin wrote:
He wrote to me
About the Mardi Gras
And all the pretty ladies
That he saw.

I got off the boat
And I head uptown
Where my cousin say
The debutantes are found.
I’m gonna find me
A rich, pretty wife
And never work for
The rest of my life.

That very night
I met the queen of Rex.
We had a couple drinks
And then we had sex.
Next morning she said,
“I want to see you no more.
I like you, Manuel,
But you much too poor.”

I caught the bus
To Old Metairie.
Gonna find me
A rich divorcee.
And once I’ve got
That rich, pretty wife,
I’ll never work for
The rest of my life.

I met the queen of Comus
Of ’53.
She said, “Hello, Sugar,
Come and sleep with me.”
Next morning she said,
“Now I know what a man is.
I’d like you, Manuel,
If you just played tennis.”

To Fat City
I hitched a ride
To find a rich swinger
And make her my bride.
And once I’ve got
That rich, pretty wife,
I’ll never work for
The rest of my life.

I met the queen of Atlas
Of ’63.
She said, “How’d you like to make
Love to me?”
Well, I gave her a hug
And I gave her a squeeze,
We jumped in bed, she said,
“Fifty dollars, please.”

That night I met a lady
On Bourbon Street.
She said, “Come by my place
And have something to eat.”
At last I’ve found
A rich, pretty wife.
No more work for
The rest of my life.

We had some gumbo
Then — how can this be? —
She took off her clothes,
She look just like me.
She was a man, not a woman,
If you see what I mean.
Now that’s what I call
A Mardi Gras Queen.

I left New Orleans on a
Banana boat
‘Cause it was a lie
What my cousin wrote:
Half the ladies
Want to spend, spend, spend.
Other half
Are really men.

I couldn’t find
A rich, pretty wife.
I’ll have to work for
The rest of my life.
That’s the story of
The Mardi Gras Queen.
Moral is:
Things are not what they seem.

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