The World-Famous Fruitcake Poem

Fruitcakes are a staple of the holiday season, but what if you don’t like them? You may just be stuck, says fruitcakeologist F.R. Duplantier, who warns that it’s nearly impossible to unload the “spice-baked albatross” once you’ve accepted delivery. On Monday, December 12, 2004, I sent out a limerick about …

The Rest of the Story

HURRAY FOR HARVEY! Each day brings a new allegory Of goodness and grace and glory: Paul Harvey’s sly tease Makes listeners cry, “Please, Please tell us ‘the rest of the story.’” It looks like we’ve heard “the rest of the story” for the last time. It’s hard to imagine a …

Oh No, Here They Come!

Fruitcakes are a staple of the holiday season, but what if you don’t like them? You may just be stuck, says fruitcakeologist F.R. Duplantier, who warns that it’s nearly impossible to unload the “spice-baked albatross” once you’ve accepted delivery. On Monday, December 12, 2004, I sent out a limerick about …