New Placement Service May Close Before It Opens
My agent: F.R. Duplantier
My client: F.R. Duplantier
ST. LOUIS — Conservative editor and writer F.R. Duplantier announced plans today to launch a personnel service specializing in the placement of the conservative editor and writer. Duplantier plans to launch the Duplantier Placement Service within the next 90 days — unless the announcement of his plans leads to a position for his one and only client, himself.
Duplantier expressed delight with the caliber of his one candidate for employment. “Mr. Duplantier,” he said, referring to himself in the third person, “has more than 35 years’ experience in journalism, advertising, and publishing, and is one of the most versatile, stylish, and insightful writers on the scene today. Over the last three decades, he’s written dozens of poems, plays, and short stories; hundreds of newspaper articles, commentaries, and comic strips; and thousands of billboards, bumper stickers, brochures, and commercials. Occasionally, he’s even been paid for his services.”
A native of New Orleans, Duplantier has moved about the country many times in pursuit of job opportunities. He has lived in St. Louis since 1995, with his wife and six children (three still living at home), and an ever-changing menagerie of pets. Duplantier is currently self-employed, with a monthly income he describes as “invigoratingly unpredictable — but sufficient, combined with manna from heaven (routed through friends, relatives, and complete strangers), to sustain a rapidly downsizing family.”
Duplantier urges anyone interested in hiring his client to review Duplantier’s resume.
