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Posts Tagged / weekly politickle

  • Aug 23 / 2010
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Your Weekly Politickle: TUB SNUBBERS

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

TUB SNUBBERS
They abstain from Palmolive and Prell
And perform their ablutions pell-mell,
Neither soaking nor scouring
In their five-minute showering:
Now we know why some Englishmen smell.

From the archive:

BUSYBODIES
They’ll first find tobacco at fault,
Then coffee, wine, spirits, and malt.
Then they’ll next demonize
Colas, burgers, and fries,
Then all snacks made with sugar and salt!
(1999)

NO CURE FOR THE COMMON SCOLD
They insist we directly disown
Every pleasure and pastime that’s known.
Those “natural” nags
And health-conscious hags
Oh, why can’t they leave us alone?
(1998)

Last week’s limerick:

CORDOBA
Like a swaggering conquering hero,
Rauf is building a mosque at Ground Zero
— Where some 3000 bodies
Were interred by jihadis –
And Obama just fiddles like Nero.

  • Aug 16 / 2010
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Your Weekly Politickle: CORDOBA

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

CORDOBA
Like a swaggering conquering hero,
Rauf is building a mosque at Ground Zero
— Where some 3000 bodies
Were interred by jihadis –
And Obama just fiddles like Nero.

From the archive:

SEPTEMBER 11th
Kissed my loved one at the door.
No idea what lay in store.
In the tower
Not an hour.
Now my loved one is no more.
(2001)

Last week’s limerick:

ME SHELL, CONT.
While the rest of us scrimp all the time,
She displays an indifference sublime:
Our First Lady, Michelle,
Does exceedingly well
As she travels the world on our dime.

  • Aug 02 / 2010
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Your Weekly Politickle: DEM BONES

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

DEM BONES
In the backyard we broke out the bibs,
Fed our faces with barbecued ribs.
Now we’re nursing the embers
And awaiting November’s
Bacchanalia of barbecued Libs.

From the archive:

THE ANCIENT MARINATOR
There once was a geezer named Pops
Who was handy with barbecue mops
And with consummate skill
Would perform at the grill,
Searing t-bones, leg quarters, and chops.
(2009)

Last week’s limerick:

MIDTERM
“We have lost the dumb voters’ affection
But persist in our leftward direction,
‘Cause they don’t have the gumption
To resist our presumption
And we know how to rig an election.”

  • Jul 26 / 2010
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Your Weekly Politickle: MIDTERM

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MIDTERM
“We have lost the dumb voters’ affection
But persist in our leftward direction,
‘Cause they don’t have the gumption
To resist our presumption
And we know how to rig an election.”

From the archive:

NIGHT OF THE VOTING DEAD
“We’ll be summoned from slumberous state
To endorse the quadrennial slate;
Then it’s back to the grave,
Where we’ll try to behave
‘Til the conclave of 2008!”
(2004)

REGISTERED VOTERS
The polls open and who comes in?
Mary Poppins and Mickey Finn,
Then Betty Boop
And Alley Oop,
Sherlock Holmes and Gunga Din!
(2004)

RECOUNT DRACULA
There once was a man named Vlad
Who was known for a habit he had:
With such pride in his nailing,
When he took to impaling
No one ever would challenge his chad.
(2000)

WINNING BY A WHISKER
“Our Party is poised to prevail
With this new registration by mail:
All corpses and cats
Are staunch Democrats,
So our candidates simply can’t fail!”
(1999)

Last week’s limerick:

CLIMATE EXCHANGE
I will trade you the Springtime in Spain
For the Autumn in Southern Ukraine,
And the Summer in Mali
For the Winter in Bali —
Plus September in Alsace-Lorraine.

  • Jul 05 / 2010
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Your Weekly Politickle: KAGANROO COURT

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

KAGANROO COURT
Poor Obama is losing support,
But he still has a sure last resort:
He can perpetrate strange
And perpetual change
Placing radicals on the High Court.

From the archive:

SUPREME INDIFFERENCE
Should our judges be judged by their gender,
Or the justness of verdicts they render?
Should we reckon their race,
Or their ken in a case
As a strict Constitution defender?
(2009)

SUPREME IRONY
From first principles he won’t budge.
Constitutionally he won’t fudge.
But with Durbin and Biden
And their buddies decidin’,
He’s not “fit” to become a judge.
(2005)

PRYOR RESTRAINT
“Judicial nominee Pryor
May appeal to authority higher
And display legal laurels
And superior morals,
But venality’s what we desire.”
(2003)

LAWRENCE V. TEXAS
The evil with which men are ridden
In normal times hardly is hidden,
But no era’s more awful
Than when vice is made lawful
And propriety, then, is forbidden.
(2003)

COURT DISASTER
How the judges would snicker and snort
And delight in making sport
Of American troops,
Individuals, and groups
In an international court!
(2002)

NO EXCEPTIONS
The rule of law, don’t you see,
Is the essence of liberty
And freedom will end
When leaders pretend
“The rules don’t apply to me.”
(2000)

LEGAL ISSUE
Five Justices’ wanton support
Preserves the grim “right” to abort:
To keep babies alive,
Replace one of those five
And establish a life-choosing Court.
(2000)

JUDICIAL RESTRAINT
It’s a perfectly valid complaint:
An activist judge is no saint.
So, give him a jacket
That ties in the back; it
Will force him to show some restraint.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick:

AL GORGE
If a human is hungry for strudel,
He can get some by using his noodle,
But his quest for confection
May result in rejection
If he paws like a poor, crazed sex poodle.

  • Jun 28 / 2010
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Your Weekly Politickle: AL GORGE

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

AL GORGE
If a human is hungry for strudel,
He can get some by using his noodle,
But his quest for confection
May result in rejection
If he paws like a poor, crazed sex poodle.

From the archive:

SO THAT’S WHAT YOU CALL IT!
She was flattered he found her appealing,
But preferred that he be less revealing.
Bill tried to explain
He was feeling her pain,
But Paula knew what he was feeling!
(1998)

Last week’s limerick:

THE INVISIBLE MAN
Someone opened a devilish door
Without caring what might lie in store:
Disconnected from “donors,”
Single mothers are loners
And their kids don’t have dads anymore.

  • Jun 21 / 2010
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Your Weekly Politickle: THE INVISIBLE MAN

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

THE INVISIBLE MAN
Someone opened a devilish door
Without caring what might lie in store:
Disconnected from “donors,”
Single mothers are loners
And their kids don’t have dads anymore.

From the archive:

FATHER TIME
Twenty years ago I lost my dad
And the loss to this day makes me sad,
But I’m glad he was there
In my formative years
And can cherish the time that we had.
(2009)

POOR DAD
“I’ve been poor since the day of my birth
And may die with a negative worth;
Though I live on the skids,
With my wonderful kids,
I’m the wealthiest man on the earth!”
(2007)

FATHERS STAY
The third Sunday in June will be gray
For the sons and the daughters who may
Not remember the dad
That they never quite had
’Cause he left them and went far away.
(2006)

Last week’s limerick:

BP/D
As our nation reacts to the Spill
And Obama decides not to drill,
Hugo Chavez, the sheiks,
And those climate-change freaks
Like Al Gore and Prince Charles are athrill.

  • Jun 14 / 2010
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Your Weekly Politickle: BP/D

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

BP/D
As our nation reacts to the Spill
And Obama decides not to drill,
Hugo Chavez, the sheiks,
And those climate-change freaks
Like Al Gore and Prince Charles are athrill.

Last week’s limerick:

SUB CULTURE
To my loved ones I had to say bye
With the knowledge I might have to die:
Does that mean that I oughta
Spend six months underwater
With a guy with a gleam in his eye?

  • Jun 07 / 2010
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Your Weekly Politickle: SUB CULTURE

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SUB CULTURE
To my loved ones I had to say bye
With the knowledge I might have to die:
Does that mean that I oughta
Spend six months underwater
With a guy with a gleam in his eye?

Lagniappe:

C’EST LA QUEER
I survived at the front of the line,
But decided I had to resign:
From the front I came back
To confront an attack
From the cat in the cot next to mine.

Last week’s limerick:

SHELL SHOCK
Dining out and plan to grab
Lots of oysters, shrimp, and crab?
Remember the Spill
Has raised the bill:
Let your partner pay the tab.

  • May 31 / 2010
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Your Weekly Politickle: SHELL SHOCK

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SHELL SHOCK
Dining out and plan to grab
Lots of oysters, shrimp, and crab?
Remember the Spill
Has raised the bill:
Let your partner pay the tab.

From the archive:

OOH LA LA!
A fried turkey injected with spice,
Shrimp-stuffed mirlitons and dirty rice,
Pecan pie, oyster dressing –
How we rush through the blessing!
Yes, a Creole Thanksgiving is nice.
(2008)

Last week’s limerick:

O SPILL
With dispersants and skimmers and booms,
We’ll contain the contaminate blooms,
Stop the Slick from Chicago
More toxic than Blago,
And avert the disaster that looms.

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