Evann and I had two misconceptions when we moved to St. Louis in 1995. Let me rephrase that. We had numerous misconceptions, and still do, but two of those misconceptions pertained specifically to St. Louis.
The first misconception had to do with life expectancy. We thought when we left our homicidal hometown that we were escaping from the murder capital of America to an oasis of humanity in the heartland. We discovered, shortly after relocation, that St. Louis and New Orleans have long been locked in bittersweet rivalry for the dubious distinction of deadliest destination, a rivalry that continues to this day.
The second misconception had to do with climate exchange. Having grown up in a place that’s miserably hot in the summer but pleasantly warm in the winter (New Orleans) and having lived in a place that’s miserably cold in the winter but pleasantly cool in the summer (Weyauwega, Wisc.), we automatically assumed that a place halfway between (St. Louis) would be ideal year-round: pleasantly warm in winter, pleasantly cool in summer.
In short, we thought we’d get the best of both worlds. In fact, we took it for granted and looked forward to this climatic nirvana with great anticipation. It never occurred to us, even for a moment, that we would get the worst of both. What kind of stupid nonsense is that? But that’s what we got: miserable heat in the summer, miserable cold in the winter. Plus, no seafood. What the hell! For 16 years now, we have sweated and shivered through this thermally unjust situation.