Politickles

Politickles are free AND priceless. That’s what makes it so hard to figure out how much to charge yourself for a subscription to “Your Weekly Politickle.” To avoid hurting your brain as you deliberate, please apply the following helpful guidelines.

Ask yourself this question: How much should I pay for 52 weeks of politickles? How about 10 cents a laugh? 10 x 52 = $5.20. How about a dollar a laugh? $52. Ten dollars a laugh? $520. This is quite logical. Just figure out how much each politickle is worth to you and multiply by 52. (Remember, it’s easier to multiply numbers like 10 or 100 — i.e., any number that starts with 1 and has zeros behind it. If you have trouble multiplying by 52, just multiply by 50 first and then by 2 and add the totals. Or use a calculator.)

Now, upon reflection, you may conclude that not all of the 52 politickles you received in the last year were worth $10, in your estimation. Maybe only 10 of them were. Fair enough. Just give $100 then (10 x $10), and a dollar apiece for the rest: $142 total.

Before you donate, however, please go to the archives and review the last 12 month’s worth of politickles. Maybe you’ll find some you’ve forgotten about and realize that there were more than 10 that were worth $10. If so, recalculate your donation.

On the other hand, you may find that the ten that you thought were worth $10 each aren’t as funny as you remember and therefore be inclined to reduce your donation accordingly. Don’t be hasty, however. Think this through. Remember, when you first read them, you thought they were worth $10. Now, upon rereading them, you think they’re worth only $1. So, what do you do? Donate only $1 apiece for them? No, indeed! You donate the $10 apiece that you originally intended, plus an extra dollar for their current value: $11 apiece. As noted above, this is quite logical.

If, at this point, you’re still confused, just pick a number from 1 to 1,000,000 and donate that. Then the burden will be on me to determine how you settled on that figure, and you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that it’s driving me mad — because, after all, I’m a very logical fellow.

Last of all, remember that whatever you donate today will be worth considerably less a year from now, so it really doesn’t matter to either one of us.

Click the DONATE button at the top of the right sidebar now.

Yours truly,

F.R. Duplantier

P.S. Remember me when you plan your estate, or adopt me now.

Sure, you can get politickles free of charge, but you can also pay for them. And some people do, year after year. $5, $10, $25, $100, even $1000! I’d accept more, of course, but that’s the top contribution so far.

Why do they do it? You got me. Whatever the motivation, their donations help me pay my bills and I’m grateful for that.

Anyway, I learned long ago, during my adman days, that you have to ask several times before some people will respond. And so, for the benefit of you slow responders, I’m asking again.

Why not make a contribution today?

Click the DONATE button at the top of the right sidebar.

I promise you I won’t regret it.

Yours truly,

F.R. Duplantier

P.S. Remember me when you plan your estate. It will help me plan my estate. And let me know if you have a house I could live in for free or if you want to hire someone with my peculiar talents.

You can get them for free, so why pay for them? It’s hard to argue with that logic. Paying for Politickles really doesn’t make much sense. But does everything have to make sense? Don’t you get the urge every once in a while to do something irrational? Maybe this is one of those times. If you’re feeling kind of crazy and have an impulse to pay for something that’s free, or you just want to show solidarity with the loonies who’ve already contributed, don’t stifle yourself. Act now! Click the DONATE button at the top of the right sidebar.

2012 marks the 15th Anniversary of “Your Weekly Politickle,” which has been provided free of charge online and to email subscribers since 1997! And free it will remain. Several years ago, however, I initiated an annual, month-long “May Day” appeal for self-imposed subscription fees (i.e., donations) and renew that appeal every year at this time.

Please determine the amount you wish to contribute, if any, and click the Donate button at the top of the right sidebar.

FAQs: How much should you donate? Again, that’s for you to decide. It depends on how much you like, and value, “Your Weekly Politickle.” For a one-year (52-week) subscription, for instance, you might contribute $5.20 (10 cents a laugh).

Can you contribute more? Of course, you can. Far be it from me to stifle a generous impulse. Rest assured, there is no maximum donation amount and all contributions will be gratefully accepted, no matter how large.

Must you contribute in order to continue receiving “Your Weekly Politickle”? Of course not. It’s voluntary, remember? Must you contribute in order to terminate your subscription? Again, no. (But that’s an interesting idea.) Are donations tax deductible? Afraid not. Politickles.com is a no-profit, not a non-profit, organization.

Please make your donation today, and pass this appeal on to all your like-minded friends, relatives, and acquaintances.