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  • Aug 22 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: WHITE HOUSE OR BUST

whitehouseorbust

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WHITE HOUSE OR BUST
She must win to achieve absolution.
If she loses, she’ll face retribution.
If she isn’t elected,
She will soon be subjected
To indictments and swift prosecution..

From the archive

LYNCHPIN
“Don’t worry,” said Bill, “it’s a cinch.
We just need to hang tough and not flinch.
How can acts be illicit
When the boss is complicit
And our friend will come through in a pinch?”
(2016)

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
If she happens to win, what then?
Where will Hillary be sworn in?
Will she be inaugurated
Where she’s incarcerated:
In her cell in a federal pen?
(2016)

HILLARY’S CONVICTION
The First Lady’s a post-modern wife
In responding to marital strife:
She’ll stand by her man
As long as she can,
‘Cause it’s better than “20 to Life.”
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

SELF-CRITICISM
His objections to Trump are so grim
And he makes them with venomous vim,
But Obama misspeaks
‘Cause his cranky critiques
Are more aptly descriptive of him.

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  • Aug 15 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: SELF-CRITICISM

self-criticism

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SELF-CRITICISM
His objections to Trump are so grim
And he makes them with venomous vim,
But Obama misspeaks
‘Cause his cranky critiques
Are more aptly descriptive of him.

Lagniappe

NAME THE PRESIDENT!
Pick one word you might say with a frown,
Use a five-letter word that’s a noun,
Spell it out upper case,
Safely hide it some place:
You alone will see what’s written down.

From the archive

ORDURE IN THE COURT
Choosing sides and then nursing a grudge
With a wink and a nod and a nudge,
One who knew the imperative
Of maintaining a narrative:
Debra Nelson the partisan judge..
(2013)

PROJECTION
Whatever the woe they’re bewailin’,
It’s not long ’fore the Left starts assailin’
The “climate of hate”
That right-wingers create –
And their favorite bête noire, Sarah Palin.
(2011)

BALANCE
“This Talk Radio’s going too far
And we soon will be raising the bar:
In the interest of fairness
And cultural awareness,
Every station will air NPR.”
(2009)

H STANDS FOR HATE
Hillary’s known for intolerant views:
She hates blacks, she hates Christians and Jews,
She hates soldiers and cops
And all men who aren’t fops –
She’s the candidate haters will choose.
(2008)

IN TOLERANCE
Left-wing radicals running our schools
Do great harm with their inverted rules:
They oppose every norm,
Reject custom and form,
And show deference to freaks and to fools.
(2007)

THE RULES
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
(2007)

DIVISION LEADER
Who has kept black Americans down
And spread hatred from town to town?
No, it’s no Anglo-Saxon
But the Reverend Jackson
Who’s the rabidest racist around!
(2001)

THE JOURNALIST
In the past, he was forced to “pay dues”
And develop “a nose for the news.”
Well, he still has a nose,
But, my, how it grows
When the facts must conform to his views!
(1996)

Last week’s limerick

RANSOM
Though they are authorized to play wardens,
Their abuse of that power disheartens:
When they make lots of dough
Letting criminals go,
When Obama, like Clinton, sells pardons.

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  • Aug 08 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: RANSOM

ransom

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

RANSOM
Though they are authorized to play wardens,
Their abuse of that power disheartens:
When they make lots of dough
Letting criminals go,
When Obama, like Clinton, sells pardons.

From the archive

RICHER DOLE
All those Clinton years left Eric older,
His Obama time left Eric colder:
Such experience hardens,
But the selling of pardons
Has undoubtedly left Eric golder.
(2016)

CASHIFIED INFORMATION
“For accelerated authorization
With regard to above application:
To ensure I approve you,
It might well behoove you
To kick in to my family foundation.”
(2015)

From the Clinton archive (1996-2000)

BILL IN A CHINA SHOP
Campaign prospects are more sunny
When the coffer’s full of money.
Leave it to Bill
To fill the till
With money that is funny!

BILL PAYING
Pardon him, pardon her, pardon you.
Pardon everyone Bill ever knew.
There’s no need to be frugal:
Pardon Hubbell, McDougall,
Pardon Gore, pardon Hillary too!

CLINTONIAN DIPLOMACY
“We’ll supply whatsoever you need
To ensure your armed forces succeed,
And we won’t make a fuss
If you use them on us,
‘Cause our sole motivation is greed.

RIADY OR NOT, HERE WE COME!
“Though funds that the DNC spent
Did arise in the Orient,
Our designs are disputable,
Lippo’s motives inscrutable —
Can you prove that we’re not innocent?”

Last week’s limerick

JEERS!
Sure, she’s got a few pounds she could lose
(And those pantsuits in multiple hues),
But her one highest hurdle
Besides needing a girdle
Is she’s got a big problem with boos.

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  • Aug 01 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: JEERS!

jeers

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

JEERS!
Sure, she’s got a few pounds she could lose
(And those pantsuits in multiple hues),
But her one highest hurdle
Besides needing a girdle
Is she’s got a big problem with boos.

From the archive

HILLARITY
“Though she’s ugly, dishonest, and mean,
Just the wickedest witch ever seen,
She’s the best that we’ve got,
So let’s give her a shot
And elect her in Twenty-Sixteen.”
(2013)

H STANDS FOR HATE
Hillary’s known for intolerant views:
She hates blacks, she hates Christians and Jews,
She hates soldiers and cops
And all men who aren’t fops –
She’s the candidate haters will choose.
(2008)

HILLAREEN
What compares to the horrible fright
That will haunt us on Halloween night?
Consider the fear,
As elections draw near,
Ghoulish candidates soon will excite!
(2003)

Last week’s limerick

RESET
Out of date is the slogan some blithering
Adman proposed to a dithering,
Truth-noncompliant
Dolt of a client:
“I’m With Her” should be changed to “I’m Withering.”

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  • Jul 25 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: RESET

reset

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

RESET
Out of date is the slogan some blithering
Adman proposed to a dithering,
Truth-noncompliant
Dolt of a client:
“I’m With Her” should be changed to “I’m Withering.”

From the archive

CLUELESS
Says she’s just like y’all and youse,
Says she shares your stupid views:
Either Hillary’s tight
Or not very bright,
‘Cause the Empress has no clues.
(2015)

JOKE
Hillary’s running again, have you heard?
Nomination is hers, that’s the word.
We could get in a pother,
But why even bother?
The woman’s completely absurd.
(2014)

RUN FOR THE ROSE GARDEN
In her desperate bid for the crown,
She has found herself trailing Big Brown;
At the end of the race
Looms a lame second place
And the prospect of being put down.
(2008)

THE END
Though I’m no Clinton fan, I do find,
As support for his wife has declined,
That I’m actually beginning
To wish she were winning,
‘Cause I can’t stand to see her behind.
(2008)

RERUN FOR PRESIDENT
“Now at last is my destiny reached!”
Mrs. Megalomaniac screeched,
And follow she will
In the footsteps of Bill
When a Clinton again is impeached.
(2008)

TAILSPIN
She knew that she would win,
But she took it on the chin;
Now she’s lost the crown
And she’s spiraling down,
Still believing in her own spin.
(2008)

INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN
On a fantasy Hillary fed
‘Til reality reared its huge head:
As her poll numbers drop,
She will have to close shop
And admit that her life’s dream is dead.
(2007)

HILL’RY REDNECK CLINTON
“Hoosiers, hillbillies, dis is yer year!
Rednecks, crackers, doan be afeard!
Shucks! Gosh! an’ Dang!
Doanchu jes love mah twang?
Git yer fust lady prezdent rat cheer!”
(2007)

Last week’s limerick

ARMS & THE MANDATE
What the Second Amendment defends
Is a right on which all else depends:
To resist subjugation
Of ourselves and our nation
And live free as our Maker intends.

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  • Jul 18 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: ARMS & THE MANDATE

arms&mandate [652108]

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

ARMS & THE MANDATE
What the Second Amendment defends
Is a right on which all else depends:
To resist subjugation
Of ourselves and our nation
And live free as our Maker intends.

From the archive

PROTECTED CLASS
“When all private gun ownership’s barred,
I’m sure giving up mine won’t be hard:
I’ll be safe as before,
And perhaps even more –
’Cause I’ll have a well-armed bodyguard.”.
(2013)

CONTROLLING PERSONALITY
Though the news out of Newtown was grim,
Mayor Bloomberg’s reaction was dim.
Why we keep and bear arms?
To respond to alarms
And protect us from tyrants like him.
(2012)

FULL DISCLOSURE
A stripper deemed too independent
Was called into court as defendant;
She said of her charms:
“I’ve the right ‘to bare arms’;
It’s enshrined in the Second Amendment.”
(2002)

TOO SAFE
“Wake up, Dear, go downstairs, and look!
I heard a strange noise in the nook!”
“Where’s the key to the lock
On my .380 Glock?”
“Oh, I hung it somewhere on a hook!”
(1999)

WITNESS FOR THE DEFENSE
Anyone who cannot be persuaded
That our gun rights must not be degraded
Should inquire of the Swiss,
Who are armed and don’t miss,
Why it is that they’re never invaded.
(1998)

BETTER READY THAN DEAD
Here’s a survey that needs to be done
On the merits of having a gun:
Ask anyone harmed
By a thug who was armed
If he wishes he, too, had had one.
(1997)

Last week’s limerick

E PLURIBUS
Our last names may be Hess, Hock, or Harrigan,
Federov, Feldstein, or Farrakhan,
MacDonald, Mandina,
Nguyen, Wong, Kim, or Pena,
But we’re one and we’re all all-American.

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  • Jul 11 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: E PLURIBUS

epluribus

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

E PLURIBUS
Our last names may be Hess, Hock, or Harrigan,
Federov, Feldstein, or Farrakhan,
MacDonald, Mandina,
Nguyen, Wong, Kim, or Pena,
But we’re one and we’re all all-American.

From the archive

BLANK LIKE ME
Census takers who tally my head
Will not know if I’m black, white, or red:
Because, in the space
To designate race,
I’ll inscribe the word “human” instead.
(2000)

PREFIXATION
Adding Euro- and Afro- won’t do:
Ethnic conflict will only ensue.
No hyphen for me:
I’m happy to be
An American through and through.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

LYNCHPIN
“Don’t worry,” said Bill, “it’s a cinch.
We just need to hang tough and not flinch.
How can acts be illicit
When the boss is complicit
And our friend will come through in a pinch?”

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  • Jul 04 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: LYNCHPIN

Lynchpin

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

LYNCHPIN
“Don’t worry,” said Bill, “it’s a cinch.
We just need to hang tough and not flinch.
How can acts be illicit
When the boss is complicit
And our friend will come through in a pinch?”

From the archive

7.4.15
We’re still standing, and standing unbowed,
We’re Americans, naturally proud,
And we make this forecast:
That this won’t be the last
July Fourth celebration allowed.
(2015)

DEPENDENCE DAY
“I remember how some of us tried:
How we fought, how we failed, how we cried,
How we few knew the worth
Of this last hope on earth.
I was there when America died.”
(2012)

REPUBLIC
Our Creator has blessed us a lot
Since the sound of that round-the-world shot,
But how long will we be
Still the land of the free
If the people don’t know what we’ve got?
(2011)

REVOLTING DEVELOPMENT
Revolution’s a natural desire
When we lack what our natures require,
But it loses its glow
When oppressed people go
From the frying pan into the fire.
(2011)

INDEPENDENCE DAY
All the fireworks exploding on high,
Celebrating the Fourth of July,
Symbolize how we fought
For that world-changing thought:
If we cannot live free, we shall die.
(2008)

WORLD FREEDOM
If freedom can come to Romanians,
Albanians, Lithuanians, Ukrainians,
Why must others abide
While their freedom’s denied:
Brother Syrians, Saudis, Iranians?
(2006)

REVOLUTION REVERIE
I attend every fireworks show
With the spirits of men you may know:
General Washington,
Thomas Jefferson,
Adams, Madison, and Monroe.
(2006)

ANTHEM FELLOW
With Bates, Berlin, and Key,
I salute this “land of the free,”
This “land that I love . . .
With the light from above,”
Stretched “from sea to shining sea.”
(2002)

FLAG POLL
As a gift for every descendant
In a Pledge of Allegiance amendment,
Would it be permissible
After “indivisible”
To add “sovereign and independent”?
(2001)

Last week’s limerick

IDENTITY CRISIS
You are British or French in the clutch,
Polish, Spanish, Czech, German, or Dutch,
Greek, Italian, Slovene,
But you’re not “European”:
Reaffirm who you are and be such.

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  • Jun 27 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: IDENTITY CRISIS

identitycrisis

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

IDENTITY CRISIS
You are British or French in the clutch,
Polish, Spanish, Czech, German, or Dutch,
Greek, Italian, Slovene,
But you’re not “European”:
Reaffirm who you are and be such.

From the archive

RIDING THE TIGER
What’s holding up unified Europe?
State sovereigns won’t step in the stirrup.
Getting in’s not in doubt;
It’s how to get out
That’s a question as sticky as syrup.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

$PEECHE$
She’s about as exciting as clay
And has nothing of interest to say,
But the muckety-mucks
Give her millions of bucks
‘Cause they know that they must pay to play.

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  • Jun 20 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: $PEECHE$

$peeche$

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

$PEECHE$
She’s about as exciting as clay
And has nothing of interest to say,
But the muckety-mucks
Give her millions of bucks
‘Cause they know that they must pay to play.

Lagniappe

POP QUIZ
“It’s the second time now that you’ve had
To miss school for the death of your dad.
Did he die more than once?
Do you think I’m a dunce?”
“Losing two fathers, so far, is so sad.”

Last week’s limerick

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
If she happens to win, what then?
Where will Hillary be sworn in?
Will she be inaugurated
Where she’s incarcerated:
In her cell in a federal pen?

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