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  • Mar 02 / 2015
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Your Weekly Politickle: ALIENATED

alienated

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ALIENATED
Are you from here or some other spot?
Is there something that you haven’t got?
Do you feel no emotion?
Do you lack all devotion?
Do you love this great nation or not?

From the archive

IRONIC CURTAIN
You’re not really “transparent” at all:
When you’re asked for your records, you stall;
You keep everything hidden,
Public access forbidden.
Mr. President, tear down this wall!
(2012)

WATCHDOGS
“There’s just too much at stake,
We’ve got other muck to rake,
So, thanks, Sheriff Joe,
But we’d rather not know
If the birth certificate’s fake.”
(2012)

TARGET ACQUIRED
Taking years to amass information
And exactly determine location,
What at last have we found
Buried deep underground
But Obama’s birth documentation?
(2011)

UNPRESIDENTED
We’re remiss to dismiss and deride
Those who ask if Barack’s qualified:
If it cannot be sworn
That he is “natural born,”
Then Obama has something to hide.
(2011)

Last week’s limerick

DREAMERS FROM MY FATHERLAND
“People say I pursue my goals sneakily
Or, exceeding my powers, act regally,
But I’ve done what I’ve done
‘Cause I feel myself one
With the folks who have come here illegally.”

  • Feb 23 / 2015
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YWP: DREAMERS FROM MY FATHERLAND

dreamers

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

DREAMERS FROM MY FATHERLAND
“People say I pursue my goals sneakily
Or, exceeding my powers, act regally,
But I’ve done what I’ve done
‘Cause I feel myself one
With the folks who have come here illegally.”

From the archive

DREAMS FROM MY FUHRER
“You can laugh or dismiss me as mad,
But I knew from the first as a lad:
Though unlikely it seems,
I’ll make good on the dreams
Of my true, psychological dad.”
2012

DREAMS FROM MY FEATHERBRAIN
“Like a Ninja, I crept ’til I’d gotten
To a spot I could get a good shot in,
Zeroed in on my game,
And then took a dead aim,
Singlehandedly killing bin Laden.”
2012

DREAMS FROM MY MOTHER
Though the leader in question was hesitant
To discuss where his parents were resident,
Still his mother was smitten
By a subject of Britain
And young Winston could never be president.
2011

DREAMS FROM MY FATHERLAND
“You may think that I haven’t a plan,
But from Libya it’s on to Sudan,
And from there to Nairobi
To quell kinsmen who know me
As a sly, native-born Kenyan man.”
2011

Last week’s limerick

DOING WITHOUT
To avoid any purchase or rent
Was my niggardly neighbor’s intent,
So I said with mock sorrow,
“I don’t have what you’d borrow:
It’s Ash Wednesday, it’s already Lent.”

  • Feb 16 / 2015
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Your Weekly Politickle: DOING WITHOUT

Lent

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DOING WITHOUT
To avoid any purchase or rent
Was my niggardly neighbor’s intent,
So I said with mock sorrow,
“I don’t have what you’d borrow:
It’s Ash Wednesday, it’s already Lent.”

From the archive

MARDI GRAS TIME
In New Orleans, where everyone knows
How to scramble for carnival throws,
It’s just one day of fun,
Then the madness is done –
But the madness in Madison grows.
(2011)

HAPPY MARDI GRAS!
When the spirit of carnival reigns,
Sober citizens unplug their brains;
Egotists in disguises
Are proffering prizes
To propel presidential campaigns.
(2008)

FAT TUESDAY
Every revel unravels at last
And evaporates into the past,
For today is soon spent
And tomorrow is Lent:
Forty days to repent and to fast.
(2007)

MAY WE?
It’s not a big “faux pas”
When we say, “Oh, la la!”
Or “laissez faire,”
Or “derriere,”
Or Happy “Mardi Gras!”
(2006)

HAPPY MEDI-GRASS!
Marijuana has helped me a lot!
It’s a marvel, this medical “pot”!
My condition’s the same,
But I’m pleased to proclaim
I’ve forgotten what illness I’ve got!
(2005)

Last week’s limerick

PEACOCK
“There’s no point in anyone tryin’
To find someone who’s better at lyin’,
‘Cause Barack is the best
And he does it with zest:
He’s the perfect replacement for Brian!”

  • Feb 09 / 2015
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Your Weekly Politickle: PEACOCK

peacock

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

PEACOCK
“There’s no point in anyone tryin’
To find someone who’s better at lyin’,
‘Cause Barack is the best
And he does it with zest:
He’s the perfect replacement for Brian!”

From the archive

DETOX
Take the pledge and escape from its grip,
Nevermore from this moment a nip:
If you value your brain,
You must henceforth refrain
From the vile Mainstream Media drip.
(2014)

DREAMS FROM MY FEATHERBRAIN
“Like a Ninja, I crept ’til I’d gotten
To a spot I could get a good shot in,
Zeroed in on my game,
And then took a dead aim,
Singlehandedly killing bin Laden.”
(2012)

WATCHDOGS
“There’s just too much at stake,
We’ve got other muck to rake,
So, thanks, Sheriff Joe,
But we’d rather not know
If the birth certificate’s fake.”
(2012)

MISS CANDY TO THE RESCUE!
Miss Candy to the rescue!
Miss Candy to the rescue!
Go, Miss Candy!
Go, Miss Candy!

Miss Candy put her man on top,
Wouldn’t be just a traffic cop,
Saw Benghazi as a runaway horse,
Uh oh, time to change course.
Miss Candy to the rescue, ETC.

Miss Candy had a job to do
And she was the moderator, too.
Miss Candy saw her favorite guy
Looking like he’s about to cry.
Miss Candy to the rescue, ETC.
(2012)

CANDY CROWLEY REPORTS
“You would have to be totally blind
Or completely out of your mind
To begin to esteem
The Republican team:
They’re too decent, intelligent, kind.”
(2012)

FULL COVERAGE
“Save Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and Cain,
Male debaters wore blue ties and plain;
And, though Bachmann chose gray,
Darker suits won the day.
This is Chris Wallace from the campaign.”
(2011)

THE BURROWERS
“Just like Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow,
We’re committed, determined, and thorough:
In the media, the schools,
With our radical rules,
We’re the moles that unceasingly burrow.”
(2011)

BALANCE
“This Talk Radio’s going too far
And we soon will be raising the bar:
In the interest of fairness
And cultural awareness,
Every station will air NPR.”
(2009)

THE POLITICS OF
PERSONAL CONSTRUCTION
“I brought Belfast the peace they desire
And in Bosnia dodged sniper fire!
I’m impossibly grand
And cannot understand
Why I’m called an incorrigible liar!”
(2008)

SORRY CHARLIE
How they made such a hullabaloo
Over one rather blah interview!
Sarah Palin’s got class,
Charlie Gibson’s an ass –
These are things that we already knew!
(2008)

SAD TIMES
Their respect for the truth may be scanty,
Their perspective outrageously slanty;
Still, despite all their lies,
The posh Pulitzer Prize
Is retained by the Times and Duranty.
(2003)

JENNINGS DOES BASEBALL
“Diehard fans are still cheering and grinning,
Convinced that their favourites are winning:
Yes, their team’s up by ten
And at bat once again,
But it’s taking them more than one inning!”
(2003)

BIRDS OF A FEATHER
The media rarely deride
A President on the same side:
For the faithful defender
Of their social agenda,
They’re willing to let some things slide.
(1998)

THE JOURNALIST
In the past, he was forced to “pay dues”
And develop “a nose for the news.”
Well, he still has a nose,
But, my, how it grows
When the facts must conform to his views!
(1996)

INSTANT ANALYSIS
Jennings, Rather, Brokaw
Seem determined to jabber and jaw.
They think we’re too dumb
To discern the outcome
Of the campaign debate we just saw.
(1991)

Last week’s limerick

BUST
You might deem balls deflated okay
And let cut-corner quarterbacks play,
But the last thing that you
Would want Brady to do
Is prepare a delicious soufflé.

  • Feb 02 / 2015
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Your Weekly Politickle: BUST

bust

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

BUST
You might deem balls deflated okay
And let cut-corner quarterbacks play,
But the last thing that you
Would want Brady to do
Is prepare a delicious soufflé.

From the archive

MARCHING IN
Listen close and you may hear the cheers
From Jim Mora, Bum Phillips, Tom Fears:
With Sean Payton around,
They’re now Superbowl-bound
For the first time in 43 years!
(2010)

XLIII
This year’s Superbowl Party was fun.
I enjoyed every kick, pass, and run.
But I had such a blast,
And it went by so fast,
That I can’t quite remember who won.
(2009)

TELL IT LIKE IT IS
I tuned into the last Super Bowl
Just before all the rigamarole:
For a moment to revel
As I heard Aaron Neville
Sing the anthem with singular soul.
(2006)

NO RESERVATION NEEDED
The perfect time to dine
Was Sunday six to nine:
Every other soul
Was watching the Bowl
And we didn’t stand in line.
(2006)

DAMAGE CONTROL
“She had something to get off her chest
And decided to make a clean breast;
We assure you that Janet
Did not mean it or plan it:
She just happened to wind up undressed.”
(2004)

Last week’s limerick

STUPID BOWL
“It’s fourth quarter, we’ve just gone ahead,
We could run up the score, but, instead
Of taking a chance
To make further advance,
We’ll play prevent defense,” Boehner said.

  • Jan 26 / 2015
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Your Weekly Politickle: STUPID BOWL

Stupid Bowl

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

STUPID BOWL
“It’s fourth quarter, we’ve just gone ahead,
We could run up the score, but, instead
Of taking a chance
To make further advance,
We’ll play prevent defense,” Boehner said.

From the archive

JENNINGS DOES BASEBALL
“Diehard fans are still cheering and grinning,
Convinced that their favourites are winning:
Yes, their team’s up by ten
And at bat once again,
But it’s taking them more than one inning!”
(2003)

Last week’s limerick

SOT-U
Here’s a drinking game you’ll want to try
If your goal is to get really high:
Watch Obama’s address
And then drink (to excess)
Every time he says I, me, or my.

  • Jan 19 / 2015
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Your Weekly Politickle: SOT U

sot-u

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SOT-U
Here’s a drinking game you’ll want to try
If your goal is to get really high:
Watch Obama’s address
And then drink (to excess)
Every time he says I, me, or my.

From the archive

STATE OF THE UNION
This past year has gone by in a blur
And Obama has lost his allure,
But he’s yet to be thwarted
And is just getting started:
Three more years of this glib saboteur!
(2010)

BARACK AROUND THE CLOCK
Get ready, Blogger Nation,
For the pettifog-oration:
Cue the abstractions
And the cultic reactions!
It’s Obama’s inauguration!
(2009)

Last week’s limerick

THE ADVOCATE
No man’s perfect, nor ever has been:
We fall over and over again,
And, while some turn to prayer,
Many others despair
Or crusade on behalf of their sin.

  • Jan 12 / 2015
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Your Weekly Politickle: THE ADVOCATE

crutch

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

THE ADVOCATE
No man’s perfect, nor ever has been:
We fall over and over again,
And, while some turn to prayer,
Many others despair
Or crusade on behalf of their sin.

From the archive

BAD SAMARITANS
When a brother has wandered astray,
Those who love him will show him the way;
Those who follow the fashion
Of corrupted compassion
Will assure him his sin is okay.
(2010)

Last week’s limerick

HER SUITOR
With a long-running rumor to quell
And a positive image to sell,
He came up with a plan
To look more like a man:
“What I need is a beard, then, Michelle.”

  • Jan 05 / 2015
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Your Weekly Politickle: HER SUITOR

Beard

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

HER SUITOR
With a long-running rumor to quell
And a positive image to sell,
He came up with a plan
To look more like a man:
“What I need is a beard, then, Michelle.”

From the archive

TRANSFORMER
It was destiny, she knew it
And was certain she could do it:
Be the one to set precedent
As the first woman president,
But Obama beat her to it.
(2014)

SWISH!
“It was best not to tell it or ask it,
But it’s out now, so why try to mask it?
Yes, Obama enjoys
Pick-up games with the boys,
But he pouts when he can’t get a basket.”
(2013)

OUT
His own poll shows a massive defection
And he cannot succeed sans injection:
All his intimates know
That Obama, down low,
Now has trouble achieving election.
(2012)

Last week’s limerick

HAPPY YOU NEAR!
Celebrate with champagne and hoorays
All three hundred and sixty-five days:
Every eve is like New Year
When you have the right who there
And your hearts are two fireworks ablaze.

  • Dec 31 / 2014
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Politickles 2014

We started 2014 here:

freeloader

BIG O
How he’ll blame-shift, spin moonshine, and shirk
To avoid doing one lick of work!
After five years of grief,
Our Change-Agent-in-Chief
Still remains an unqualified jerk.

And ended the year here:

happyyounear

HAPPY YOU NEAR!
Celebrate with champagne and hoorays
All three hundred and sixty-five days:
Every day is like New Year
When you have the right who near
And your hearts are two fireworks ablaze.

With 50+ limericks in between.

Read them all at:

The Year In Verse

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