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  • Jul 28 / 2014
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Your Weekly Politickle: Transparent

transparent

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TRANSPARENT
“If the clowns in the Congress get brash,
We’ll deny and delay, talking trash,
And we’ll cover our trail
With a fanciful fail:
A conveniently timed hard-drive crash.”

From the archive

IRONIC CURTAIN
You’re not really “transparent” at all:
When you’re asked for your records, you stall;
You keep everything hidden,
Public access forbidden.
Mr. President, tear down this wall!
(2012)

Last week’s limerick

PAN
S/he was straight, s/he was bi, s/he was gay:
Openminded, s/he went any way,
Even trying out trans,
At last settling on sans,
Too exhausted for any more play.

  • Jul 21 / 2014
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Your Weekly Politickle: PAN

pan

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PAN
S/he was straight, s/he was bi, s/he was gay:
Openminded, s/he went any way,
Even trying out trans,
At last settling on sans,
Too exhausted for any more play.

From the archive

PROMISE ACUITY
Infidelity’s fêted as “hot”
And perversity, too, but they’re not:
Find that person to love
Who is sent from above
And be true to the one that you’ve got.
(2014)

Last week’s limerick

BACK FROM TULSA
“I went out and got drunk, had a ball.
Now I’m pregnant, my boss has the gall
To deny he’s the one
Who should pay for my fun.
Don’t I have any rights, after all?”

  • Jul 14 / 2014
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Your Weekly Politickle: BACK FROM TULSA

tulsa

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BACK FROM TULSA
“I went out and got drunk, had a ball.
Now I’m pregnant, my boss has the gall
To deny he’s the one
Who should pay for my fun.
Don’t I have any rights, after all?”

From the archive

PROMISE ACUITY
Infidelity’s fêted as “hot”
And perversity, too, but they’re not:
Find that person to love
Who is sent from above
And be true to the one that you’ve got.
(2014)

Last week’s limerick

SPOILERS
All the Devil’s disciples deceive,
But just what do they hope to achieve?
Do they really not know
The last act of the show
Ends in triumph for those who believe?

  • Jul 07 / 2014
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Your Weekly Politickle: SPOILERS

spoilers

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SPOILERS
All the Devil’s disciples deceive,
But just what do they hope to achieve?
Do they really not know
The last act of the show
Ends in triumph for those who believe?

From the archive

APRES MOI
“After me the law traduced,
After me the sword and noose,
The border strains,
Disorder reigns,
After me all hell breaks loose.”
(2014)

FIFTH COLUMN
Our brave battle for self-preservation
Must address the domestic predation
Of those traitors and fools
– All those socialist tools –
Who are hoping to change our great nation.
(2011)

THE BURROWERS
“Just like Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow,
We’re committed, determined, and thorough:
In the media, the schools,
With our radical rules,
We’re the moles that unceasingly burrow.”
(2011)

CZARDOM & GOMORRAH
“We are in your schools now and polluting
All the innocent minds we’re rebooting:
There’ll be total immersion
In every perversion
And the schools will be safe for recruiting.”
(2011)

USEFUL IDIOTS
There were businessmen, kids, and their mommies
Joining ministers, imams, and swamis –
There were people galore
Shouting no to the war,
Giving aid to Saddam and the commies.
(2003)

FAILING MARX
Socialism is dead!
Done in, the indomitable Red!
Or so it would seem,
But in academe
One had better check under one’s bed.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

DECISIONS, DECISIONS
How best might Bill’s bimbos be tarred?
Which long-standing friends to discard?
What dumb do for her hair?
Which drab pantsuit to wear?
Hillary’s choices were hardy har hard!

  • Jun 30 / 2014
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Your Weekly Politickle: DECISIONS, DECISIONS

decisions

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

DECISIONS, DECISIONS
How best might Bill’s bimbos be tarred?
Which long-standing friends to discard?
What dumb do for her hair?
Which drab pantsuit to wear?
Hillary’s choices were hardy har hard!

From the archive

THE POLITICS OF
PERSONAL CONSTRUCTION
“I brought Belfast the peace they desire
And in Bosnia dodged sniper fire!
I’m impossibly grand
And cannot understand
Why I’m called an incorrigible liar!”
(2008)

LYING HISTORY
A librarian with conviction,
Finding too much contradiction
In a certain book
By a noted crook,
Had it classified as “fiction.”
(2003)

Last week’s limerick

JOKE
Hillary’s running again, have you heard?
Nomination is hers, that’s the word.
We could get in a pother,
But why even bother?
The woman’s completely absurd.

  • Jun 23 / 2014
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Your Weekly Politickle: JOKE

joke

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JOKE
Hillary’s running again, have you heard?
Nomination is hers, that’s the word.
We could get in a pother,
But why even bother?
The woman’s completely absurd.

From the archive

TRANSFORMER
It was destiny, she knew it
And was certain she could do it:
Be the one to set precedent
As the first woman president,
But Obama beat her to it.

(2014)

BELLE OF BENGHAZI
The worst candidates money can buy
Are the ones psychopathically sly,
So inherently truthless,
Self-absorbedly ruthless
They don’t care when their countrymen die.

(2014)

HILLARITY
“Though she’s ugly, dishonest, and mean,
Just the wickedest witch ever seen,
She’s the best that we’ve got,
So let’s give her a shot
And elect her in Twenty-Sixteen.”
(2013)

HILL OF BEANS
“Oh, for goodness sake:
I made a little mistake!
So I lied and lied
And people died:
What difference does it make?”
(2013)

SENSE OF HUMA
“If your husband is horny like Bill,
You should pose as the good wife like Hill.
Do whatever you must
To regain public trust:
Once in office, then do what you will.”
(2013)

MATE
Mrs. Clinton considers her play:
“Why, just look what befell JFK!
Look at Garfield and Lincoln,
McKinley — I’m thinkin’
Vice president might be okay.”
(2008)

RUN FOR THE ROSE GARDEN
In her desperate bid for the crown,
She has found herself trailing Big Brown;
At the end of the race
Looms a lame second place
And the prospect of being put down.
(2008)

THE END
Though I’m no Clinton fan, I do find,
As support for his wife has declined,
That I’m actually beginning
To wish she were winning,
‘Cause I can’t stand to see her behind.
(2008)

THE POLITICS OF
PERSONAL CONSTRUCTION
“I brought Belfast the peace they desire
And in Bosnia dodged sniper fire!
I’m impossibly grand
And cannot understand
Why I’m called an incorrigible liar!”
(2008)

H STANDS FOR HATE
Hillary’s known for intolerant views:
She hates blacks, she hates Christians and Jews,
She hates soldiers and cops
And all men who aren’t fops –
She’s the candidate haters will choose.
(2008)

RERUN FOR PRESIDENT
“Now at last is my destiny reached!”
Mrs. Megalomaniac screeched,
And follow she will
In the footsteps of Bill
When a Clinton again is impeached.
(2008)

TAILSPIN
She knew that she would win,
But she took it on the chin;
Now she’s lost the crown
And she’s spiraling down,
Still believing in her own spin.
(2008)

INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN
On a fantasy Hillary fed
‘Til reality reared its huge head:
As her poll numbers drop,
She will have to close shop
And admit that her life’s dream is dead.
(2007)

THREE AMEBAS
Barack, John, and Hill are not reticent:
In the White House they mean to be resident.
Seems they learned how to rule
Back in nursery school
And are fully prepared to be president.
(2007)

PILING ON
Resentment tends to linger
When roguish rivals zing her:
As Hilly pouts,
Her hubby spouts
And wags his index finger.
(2007)

MADAM PRESIDENT
She has shown she knows how to succeed,
And the public no longer pays heed
To the old rumor mill
And her problems with Bill:
Yes, Lewinski is destined to lead!
(2007)

PETTY DETAILS
Mrs. Clinton, you certainly are
The most loving pet owner by far!
(We’ll ignore the twin shocks
Of abandoning Socks,
Letting Buddy get hit by a car.)
(2007)

COMING 2 TERMS
Despite limits to presidents’ terms,
As a certain Amendment affirms,
Mrs. Old Two-for-One
Won’t admit that she’s done,
Having already shared her two terms.
(2007)

HILL’RY REDNECK CLINTON
“Hoosiers, hillbillies, dis is yer year!
Rednecks, crackers, doan be afeard!
Shucks! Gosh! an’ Dang!
Doanchu jes love mah twang?
Git yer fust lady prezdent rat cheer!”
(2007)

HILLARY TAKES A STAND
“Being asked for my views on morality,
I must say I believe in equality:
I agree with your view
And the opposite, too
– It depends on the date and locality.”
(2007)

MEGALOMANIA
Hillary’s coy “conversation” is shrill
And her friends all agree she’s a pill;
The poor woman’s insane
If she thinks she will reign
As the distaff edition of Bill!
(2007)

CONVENTIONAL SPOUSE
“It’s a bitter-to-swallow pill
(And you know that I’ve had my fill),
But, if that’s all I get,
Then I’ll have to accept
Introducing my husband, Bill.”
(2004)

HILLARY’S DILEMMA
“If I run against Bush, I might lose.
If I balk and the voters should choose
Some Democrat elf,
I’ll be stuck on the shelf
For another eight years paying dues.”
(2004)

BLONDE AMBITION
“If I take second place to some worm
And prepare him a berth on the berm,
Then, when he’s gone
And it’s time to move on,
I’ll be able to serve out his term.”
(2004)

HILLAREEN
What compares to the horrible fright
That will haunt us on Halloween night?
Consider the fear,
As elections draw near,
Ghoulish candidates soon will excite!
(2003)

LYING HISTORY
A librarian with conviction,
Finding too much contradiction
In a certain book
By a noted crook,
Had it classified as “fiction.”
(2003)

BUBBA BATH
Eight years of the Clintons in power
Leave a taste in the mouth that is sour
And an overall sense
That we need a good rinse
And should spend extra time in the shower.
(2000)

WILL THEY EVER LEAVE?
The mood of the people is clear
As November’s election draws near:
We’ve had more than our fill
Of Al, Hill, and Bill
And we wish they would all disappear.
(2000)

HILLARY’S CONVICTION
The First Lady’s a post-modern wife
In responding to marital strife:
She’ll stand by her man
As long as she can,
‘Cause it’s better than “20 to Life.”
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

APRèS MOI
“After me the law traduced,
After me the sword and noose,
The border strains,
Disorder reigns,
After me all hell breaks loose.”

  • Jun 16 / 2014
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Your Weekly Politickle: APRES MOI

apresmoi

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APRES MOI
“After me the law traduced,
After me the sword and noose,
The border strains,
Disorder reigns,
After me all hell breaks loose.”

From the archive

ASYLUM
“In America, son, we will see
How the people enjoy liberty!”
“I’m glad papa is dead
And won’t feel what we fled
Taking root in the Land of the Free.”

(2014)

AMERICAN HERO
All the reds Joe McCarthy once named
Have turned out to be just what he claimed.
Is this patriot praised
For the warnings he raised?
No, McCarthy’s the one who is shamed!
(2013)

THE BURROWERS
“Just like Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow,
We’re committed, determined, and thorough:
In the media, the schools,
With our radical rules,
We’re the moles that unceasingly burrow.”
(2011)

CHINA PATTERN
“We will tar fossil fuels as ‘unclean,’
Promote other resources as ‘green.’
There’s a catch, which, of course, is
That those greener resources
Are controlled by our red war machine.”
(2011)

CZARDOM & GOMORRAH
“We are in your schools now and polluting
All the innocent minds we’re rebooting:
There’ll be total immersion
In every perversion
And the schools will be safe for recruiting.”
(2011)

HAPPENING
Our Republic he will rearrange
And the rights of the people estrange:
Yes, it can happen here
And it’s now all too clear
What Obama intended by “change.”
(2010)

HOPE AGAINST HOPE
By nefarious allies surrounded,
With socialist nostrums propounded,
Obama has won,
The change has begun,
And I hope that my fears are unfounded.
(2008)

USEFUL IDIOTS
There were businessmen, kids, and their mommies
Joining ministers, imams, and swamis –
There were people galore
Shouting no to the war,
Giving aid to Saddam and the commies.
(2003)

THEY’RE PLAYING OUR SONG
Our nation is destined for grief
If our leader has no fixed belief
And conclusions are drawn
As to whose side he’s on
When China plays “Hail to the Chief!”
(1998)

FAILING MARX
Socialism is dead!
Done in, the indomitable Red!
Or so it would seem,
But in academe
One had better check under one’s bed.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

DAD RECKONING
“Though my comments may sometimes offend
And it seem I’ve gone off the deep end,
I’m determined to see
You live longer than me:
I’m your father and not just a friend.”

  • Jun 09 / 2014
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Your Weekly Politickle: DAD RECKONING

dadreckoning

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DAD RECKONING
“Though my comments may sometimes offend
And it seem I’ve gone off the deep end,
I’m determined to see
You live longer than me:
I’m your father and not just your friend.”

From the archive

HAPPY WHATEVER’S DAY!
“Is your father a man? I’m so glad.
That’s the kind that I wish that I had –
One that’s not a pretender,
One that is the right gender –
But my mother’s butch lover’s my ‘dad.’”
(2013)

POP PSYCHOLOGY
What a fashion sense he had,
Mixing stripes and checks with plaid!
And the jokes that he told,
All so corny and old!
How I miss my dear old dad!
(2011)

THE INVISIBLE MAN
Someone opened a devilish door
Without caring what might lie in store:
Disconnected from “donors,”
Single mothers are loners
And their kids don’t have dads anymore.
(2010)

FATHER TIME
Twenty years ago I lost my dad
And the loss to this day makes me sad,
But I’m glad he was there
In my formative years
And can cherish the time that we had.
(2009)

POOR DAD
“I’ve been poor since the day of my birth
And may die with a negative worth;
Though I live on the skids,
With my wonderful kids,
I’m the wealthiest man on the earth!”
(2007)

LONE CHENEY
“Mommy, why did you do something bad?
Mommy, why did you make me so sad?
Mommy, what will you say
When I ask you one day,
‘Mommy, why don’t I have my own Dad?’”
(2007)

FATHERS STAY
The third Sunday in June will be gray
For the sons and the daughters who may
Not remember the dad
That they never quite had
’Cause he left them and went far away.
(2006)

Last week’s limerick

FLAMINGO
The Pretender pretends he’s a hero,
Not a flaming and fiddling Nero,
But he doesn’t do squat
To make hot zones less hot:
Who would hail such a conjuring zero?

  • Jun 02 / 2014
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Your Weekly Politickle: FLAMINGO

flamingo

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FLAMINGO
The Pretender pretends he’s a hero,
Not a flaming and fiddling Nero,
But he doesn’t do squat
To make hot zones less hot:
Who would hail such a conjuring zero?

From the archive

DREAMS FROM MY FEATHERBRAIN
“Like a Ninja, I crept ’til I’d gotten
To a spot I could get a good shot in,
Zeroed in on my game,
And then took a dead aim,
Singlehandedly killing bin Laden.”
(2012)

Last week’s limerick

TRANSFORMER
It was destiny, she knew it
And was certain she could do it:
Be the one to set precedent
As the first woman president,
But Obama beat her to it.

  • May 26 / 2014
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Your Weekly Politickle: TRANSFORMER

Transformer

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

TRANSFORMER
It was destiny, she knew it
And was certain she could do it:
Be the one to set precedent
As the first woman president,
But Obama beat her to it.

From the archive

SWISH!
“It was best not to tell it or ask it,
But it’s out now, so why try to mask it?
Yes, Obama enjoys
Pick-up games with the boys,
But he pouts when he can’t get a basket.”
(2013)

OUT
His own poll shows a massive defection
And he cannot succeed sans injection:
All his intimates know
That Obama, down low,
Now has trouble achieving election.
(2012)

INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN
On a fantasy Hillary fed
‘Til reality reared its huge head:
As her poll numbers drop,
She will have to close shop
And admit that her life’s dream is dead.
(2007)

Last week’s limerick

PROMISE ACUITY
Infidelity’s fêted as “hot”
And perversity, too, but they’re not:
Find that person to love
Who is sent from above
And be true to the one that you’ve got.

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