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Posts Tagged / politickle

  • May 30 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: LIVE AT THE APOLOGY!

liveattheapology

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:​

LIVE AT THE APOLOGY!
“America has been lawless
And should be held in awe less:
For her acts unwise,
I apologize,
Though I myself am flawless.”

From the archive

(DOING) THE OBAMA
Two steps forward and bow like Barack.
Arms akimbo, a single step back.
Now a shuffle in place
With a smile on your face.
Two steps forward and bow like Barack . . .
(2012)

WHOSE SARI NOW?
“Mr. President, hazard a guess:
What’s an Indian word for a dress?”
“Gee, I’m scratching my head.
Hmm, uh, sorry,” he said.
“That was it, Mr. President, yes!”
(2012)

OBOWMA
How he’ll flatter, fawn, and fuss,
Make himself obsequious!
To tyrants alone
The man is prone:
Never will he bow to us.
(2010)

TOADY
To Arabian sheiks he’ll kowtow,
And the Japanese emperor now,
But the one we elect
Ought to show his respect
With a handshake and never a bow.
(2009)

THE RULES
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
(2007)

GROVELING
I apologize to you
For the thing I did not do.
I am not the one
Who did what was done
— And for that I’m sorry, too.
(2005)

SORRY PERFORMANCE
Here’s the presidential line
On a penitential fine:
“I’ll gladly confess
And make redress
For everyone’s sin but mine!”
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

RICHER DOLE
All those Clinton years left Eric older,
His Obama time left Eric colder:
Such experience hardens,
But the selling of pardons
Has undoubtedly left Eric golder.

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  • May 23 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: RICHER DOLE

richerdole

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

RICHER DOLE
All those Clinton years left Eric older,
His Obama time left Eric colder:
Such experience hardens,
But the selling of pardons
Has undoubtedly left Eric golder.

From the archive

CASHIFIED INFORMATION
“For accelerated authorization
With regard to above application:
To ensure I approve you,
It might well behoove you
To kick in to my family foundation.”
(2015)

WICKED
Through years the graft extends
And favors for their “friends”:
They plundered like Vandals,
Now Hillary’s scandals
Are burning at both ends.
(2015)

HOLDER HELD
For approving operations injurious
And attesting to alibis spurious,
Eric merits a cell
In a hellish hotel,
Doing time with the fast and the furious.
(2011)

From the Clinton archive (1996-2000)

BILL IN A CHINA SHOP
Campaign prospects are more sunny
When the coffer’s full of money.
Leave it to Bill
To fill the till
With money that is funny!

BILL PAYING
Pardon him, pardon her, pardon you.
Pardon everyone Bill ever knew.
There’s no need to be frugal:
Pardon Hubbell, McDougall,
Pardon Gore, pardon Hillary too!

CLINTONIAN DIPLOMACY
“We’ll supply whatsoever you need
To ensure your armed forces succeed,
And we won’t make a fuss
If you use them on us,
‘Cause our sole motivation is greed.

RIADY OR NOT, HERE WE COME!
“Though funds that the DNC spent
Did arise in the Orient,
Our designs are disputable,
Lippo’s motives inscrutable —
Can you prove that we’re not innocent?”

Last week’s limerick

MINSTREL PERIODS
What he’s done for his “brothers” ain’t much,
With his “roots” he appears out of touch,
But when under attack
He’s decidedly black,
With a race card to play in the clutch.

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  • May 16 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: Minstrel Periods

minstrelperiods

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

MINSTREL PERIODS
What he’s done for his “brothers” ain’t much,
With his “roots” he appears out of touch,
But when under attack
He’s decidedly black,
With a race card to play in the clutch.

From the archive

FRIENDS AT LAST
We’ll go through a transitional stage
To get over a long-lasting rage,
And when Jennifer Aniston
And her very last fan is gone,
We will enter a post-Rachel age.
(2014)

BLANK LIKE ME
Census takers who tally my head
Will not know if I’m black, white, or red:
Because, in the space
To designate race,
I’ll inscribe the word “human” instead.
(2000)

PREFIXATION
Adding Euro- and Afro- won’t do:
Ethnic conflict will only ensue.
No hyphen for me:
I’m happy to be
An American through and through.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

DIS ESTABLISHMENT
Bush and Dole and Bush again?
Romney after John McCain?
Reagan and Trump,
You tried to dump?
Grand Old Party, please explain.

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  • May 09 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: DIS ESTABLISHMENT

disestablishment

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

DIS ESTABLISHMENT
Bush and Dole and Bush again?
Romney after John McCain?
Reagan and Trump,
You tried to dump?
Grand Old Party, please explain.

From the archive

RINOPLASTY
“If you don’t want your votes cast in vain,
Then wash Newt, Rick, and Ron down the drain;
Accept candidate Romney
As the mandated nominee:
Be consoled with a clone of McCain!”
(2012)

TEATOTALERS
Having taken it on the chin,
All the RINOs are packing it in:
They’d rather abstain
Than actively deign
To help Tea Party candidates win.
(2010)

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST
Having rendered himself indistinct,
A Republican candidate finked,
And we now can take Crist
Off the endangered list,
‘Cause this RINO’s already extinct.
(2010)

Last week’s limerick

SEE YOU LATER, AGITATOR!
Our future would now seem quite bright
If Obama had sought to unite,
If he’d done what he could
To promote brotherhood:
Not the opposite, so to divide.

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  • May 02 / 2016
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YWP: SEE YOU LATER, AGITATOR!

seeyoulateralligator

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SEE YOU LATER, AGITATOR!
Our future would now seem quite bright
If Obama had sought to unite,
If he’d done what he could
To promote brotherhood:
Not the opposite, so to divide.

From the archive

DIVISION LEADER
Who has kept black Americans down
And spread hatred from town to town?
No, it’s no Anglo-Saxon
But the Reverend Jackson
Who’s the rabidest racist around!
(2001)

Last week’s limerick

SPOTTED
A ladybug, asked why
She seemed to be so shy
About sharing a shower
On a marigold flower,
Said, “That ladybug’s a guy!”

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  • Apr 25 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: SPOTTED

spotted

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SPOTTED
A ladybug, asked why
She seemed to be so shy
About sharing a shower
On a marigold flower,
Said, “That ladybug’s a guy!”

From the archive

UNLOCKER ROOM
In the past when a pervert would peek,
He’d be met with a slap or a shriek:
Now he says he’s a woman,
Is entitled to come in,
Not be treated like some kind of freak.
(2015)

Last week’s limerick

COMEUPPANCE
“Yes, that miserable, mangy old hound
Should be picked up and penned in the pound,
But he wouldn’t have got him
Such a bite from your bottom
If your britches weren’t half to the ground.”

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  • Apr 18 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: COMEUPPANCE

comeuppance

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

COMEUPPANCE
“Yes, that miserable, mangy old hound
Should be picked up and penned in the pound,
But he wouldn’t have got him
Such a bite from your bottom
If your britches weren’t half to the ground.”

From the archive

CLICK IT OR TICKET
“I’m afraid I must take you downtown,”
The policeman announced with a frown.
Such a fate I was dealt
For not wearing a belt –
Which was why my new trousers fell down.
(2009)

Last week’s limerick

YIKES!
“You may claim that you’re not anti-gay,
But to prove that you mean what you say
You must now demonstrate
That you really don’t hate –
And to do that, there’s only one way.”

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  • Apr 11 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: YIKES!

yikes

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:​

YIKES!
“You may claim that you’re not anti-gay,
But to prove that you mean what you say
You must now demonstrate
That you really don’t hate –
And to do that, there’s only one way.”

From the archive

DEAD END
Though the mob is completely insane, though
They cause everyone so much pain, though
They shout and shove
And call it “love,”
There is death at the end of the rainbow.
(2015)

UNLOCKER ROOM
In the past when a pervert would peek,
He’d be met with a slap or a shriek:
Now he says he’s a woman,
Is entitled to come in,
Not be treated like some kind of freak.
(2015)

THE ADVOCATE
No man’s perfect, nor ever has been:
We fall over and over again,
And, while some turn to prayer,
Many others despair
Or crusade on behalf of their sin.
(2015)

AGITPROP
Maybe three in a hundred are bent,
And one tenth of that number intent
On pretending to wed
Same-sex partners instead:
All this turmoil for three-tenths percent?
(2012)

BULLIES
In the 50s our fathers knew best,
But back then they could scarcely have guessed
That a mere three percent
Who are sexually bent
Would intimidate all of the rest.
(2012)

CZARDOM & GOMORRAH
“We are in your schools now and polluting
All the innocent minds we’re rebooting:
There’ll be total immersion
In every perversion
And the schools will be safe for recruiting.”
(2011)

BAD SAMARITANS
When a brother has wandered astray,
Those who love him will show him the way;
Those who follow the fashion
Of corrupted compassion
Will assure him his sin is okay.
(2010)

SAFE AND UNSOUND
There’s “safe sex” and “safe schools” and “safe touch,”
“Safe this” and “safe that” and “safe such,”
But, if “safe” now means “queer”
And is said with a leer,
The word “safe” doesn’t comfort me much.
(2009)

IN TOLERANCE
Left-wing radicals running our schools
Do great harm with their inverted rules:
They oppose every norm,
Reject custom and form,
And show deference to freaks and to fools.
(2007)

LAWRENCE V. TEXAS
The evil with which men are ridden
In normal times hardly is hidden,
But no era’s more awful
Than when vice is made lawful
And propriety, then, is forbidden.
(2003)

NOVEL IDEA
In The Wanting Seed, Anthony Burgess
Prophesied the preposterous purges
He knew surely would come
When the righteous play dumb
And the vicious give vent to their urges.
(2003)

Last week’s limerick

YOU’RE IN DOUBT?
“If you’re not really sure of your stance
As to bathrooms, then why take a chance?
Confused about gender?
Do what I do: Surrender —
And just stand there and pee in your pants.”

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  • Apr 04 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: YOU’RE IN DOUBT?

weeklynder

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

YOU’RE IN DOUBT?
“If you’re not really sure of your stance
As to bathrooms, then why take a chance?
Confused about gender?
Do what I do: Surrender —
And just stand there and pee in your pants.”

From the archive

UNLOCKER ROOM
In the past when a pervert would peek,
He’d be met with a slap or a shriek:
Now he says he’s a woman,
Is entitled to come in,
Not be treated like some kind of freak.
(2015)

CZARDOM & GOMORRAH
“We are in your schools now and polluting
All the innocent minds we’re rebooting:
There’ll be total immersion
In every perversion
And the schools will be safe for recruiting.”
(2011)

SAFETY FIRST
A student in junior high classes
Spotted several suspicious young lasses,
But the principal said
He was out of his head
And forbade him to wear x-ray glasses.
(2010)

IN TOLERANCE
Left-wing radicals running our schools
Do great harm with their inverted rules:
They oppose every norm,
Reject custom and form,
And show deference to freaks and to fools.
(2007)

Last week’s limerick

EASTER EGG HUNT
Across the Net arrayed:
A Hillary cavalcade.
Instead of eggs,
Collect jpegs
Of every pantsuit shade.

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  • Mar 28 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: EASTER EGG HUNT

easteregghunt

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EASTER EGG HUNT
Across the Net arrayed:
A Hillary cavalcade.
Instead of eggs,
Collect jpegs
Of every pantsuit shade.

Easter Morning
From the archive

AMENDMENT 2
What do liberals and feminists say
About women exploited today?
They say, “Women are hens,
So let’s keep them in pens
To collect all the eggs that they lay.”
(2006)

OVA REACTION
“Whistling at my shapely legs
Violates my rules and regs,
But I’ll drop pretense
And take no offense
If you want to buy my eggs.”
(2002)

Last week’s limerick

OMG
On a phone or computer or pod,
These exclamatory letters are odd:
When you breathe your last breath
And can no longer text,
Will you log off and cry, “Oh, my God!”?

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