Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:
Here is something we need to abolish:
The idea we must all go to college,
Squander four years or more,
Pile up debt at our door,
And gain little or negative knowledge.
How they worry us and make us fret:
These degrees that we just have to get!
I’ve now earned my diploma,
But what’s that aroma?
It’s the smell of a smoldering debt.
From the archive:
There once was a student named Bob
Who stood out from the mortarboard mob;
Now he’s got his diploma,
But he’s caught in a coma
‘Cause he can’t find a well-paying job.
Fully formed are your heart, soul, and mind
With the facts of a faith well defined.
Now we send you to college,
Where a secular “knowledge”
Will ensure that belief’s undermined.
The student goes to college
And an education forges,
But I fed too much
On knowledge and such,
And now my brain disgorges:
Within the dark and dismal class,
You’ll no longer spot my features.
My notes I burned,
And since I’ve learned
What I never could from teachers.
“Your report card’s created a fuss
With your father and me: Both of us
Are a little bit leery
Of this course called ‘Queer Theory’
– And the fact that you got an A-plus.”
No religious beliefs were expressed
In his valedictorian address,
But he feigned an “achoo!”
And his classmates on cue
In unison shouted “God bless!”
Students headed for college each fall
Have to keep their opinions in thrall:
It’s essential to be
Perceived as “PC,”
So they try not to speak up at all.
Socialism is dead!
Done in, the indomitable Red!
Or so it would seem,
But in academe
One had better check under one’s bed.
Last week’s limericks
“When the cop got to the scene,
He started acting mean.
Sure, I’m eight-foot-one
And a quarter ton,
But I’m just an unarmed teen!”
What they show on our media screens
Is distorted and not what it seems,
And despite their insistence
We all know from existence
There is reason to fear “unarmed teens.”