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Posts Tagged / politickle

  • Jul 18 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: ARMS & THE MANDATE

arms&mandate [652108]

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ARMS & THE MANDATE
What the Second Amendment defends
Is a right on which all else depends:
To resist subjugation
Of ourselves and our nation
And live free as our Maker intends.

From the archive

PROTECTED CLASS
“When all private gun ownership’s barred,
I’m sure giving up mine won’t be hard:
I’ll be safe as before,
And perhaps even more –
’Cause I’ll have a well-armed bodyguard.”.
(2013)

CONTROLLING PERSONALITY
Though the news out of Newtown was grim,
Mayor Bloomberg’s reaction was dim.
Why we keep and bear arms?
To respond to alarms
And protect us from tyrants like him.
(2012)

FULL DISCLOSURE
A stripper deemed too independent
Was called into court as defendant;
She said of her charms:
“I’ve the right ‘to bare arms’;
It’s enshrined in the Second Amendment.”
(2002)

TOO SAFE
“Wake up, Dear, go downstairs, and look!
I heard a strange noise in the nook!”
“Where’s the key to the lock
On my .380 Glock?”
“Oh, I hung it somewhere on a hook!”
(1999)

WITNESS FOR THE DEFENSE
Anyone who cannot be persuaded
That our gun rights must not be degraded
Should inquire of the Swiss,
Who are armed and don’t miss,
Why it is that they’re never invaded.
(1998)

BETTER READY THAN DEAD
Here’s a survey that needs to be done
On the merits of having a gun:
Ask anyone harmed
By a thug who was armed
If he wishes he, too, had had one.
(1997)

Last week’s limerick

E PLURIBUS
Our last names may be Hess, Hock, or Harrigan,
Federov, Feldstein, or Farrakhan,
MacDonald, Mandina,
Nguyen, Wong, Kim, or Pena,
But we’re one and we’re all all-American.

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  • Jul 11 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: E PLURIBUS

epluribus

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E PLURIBUS
Our last names may be Hess, Hock, or Harrigan,
Federov, Feldstein, or Farrakhan,
MacDonald, Mandina,
Nguyen, Wong, Kim, or Pena,
But we’re one and we’re all all-American.

From the archive

BLANK LIKE ME
Census takers who tally my head
Will not know if I’m black, white, or red:
Because, in the space
To designate race,
I’ll inscribe the word “human” instead.
(2000)

PREFIXATION
Adding Euro- and Afro- won’t do:
Ethnic conflict will only ensue.
No hyphen for me:
I’m happy to be
An American through and through.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

LYNCHPIN
“Don’t worry,” said Bill, “it’s a cinch.
We just need to hang tough and not flinch.
How can acts be illicit
When the boss is complicit
And our friend will come through in a pinch?”

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  • Jul 04 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: LYNCHPIN

Lynchpin

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LYNCHPIN
“Don’t worry,” said Bill, “it’s a cinch.
We just need to hang tough and not flinch.
How can acts be illicit
When the boss is complicit
And our friend will come through in a pinch?”

From the archive

7.4.15
We’re still standing, and standing unbowed,
We’re Americans, naturally proud,
And we make this forecast:
That this won’t be the last
July Fourth celebration allowed.
(2015)

DEPENDENCE DAY
“I remember how some of us tried:
How we fought, how we failed, how we cried,
How we few knew the worth
Of this last hope on earth.
I was there when America died.”
(2012)

REPUBLIC
Our Creator has blessed us a lot
Since the sound of that round-the-world shot,
But how long will we be
Still the land of the free
If the people don’t know what we’ve got?
(2011)

REVOLTING DEVELOPMENT
Revolution’s a natural desire
When we lack what our natures require,
But it loses its glow
When oppressed people go
From the frying pan into the fire.
(2011)

INDEPENDENCE DAY
All the fireworks exploding on high,
Celebrating the Fourth of July,
Symbolize how we fought
For that world-changing thought:
If we cannot live free, we shall die.
(2008)

WORLD FREEDOM
If freedom can come to Romanians,
Albanians, Lithuanians, Ukrainians,
Why must others abide
While their freedom’s denied:
Brother Syrians, Saudis, Iranians?
(2006)

REVOLUTION REVERIE
I attend every fireworks show
With the spirits of men you may know:
General Washington,
Thomas Jefferson,
Adams, Madison, and Monroe.
(2006)

ANTHEM FELLOW
With Bates, Berlin, and Key,
I salute this “land of the free,”
This “land that I love . . .
With the light from above,”
Stretched “from sea to shining sea.”
(2002)

FLAG POLL
As a gift for every descendant
In a Pledge of Allegiance amendment,
Would it be permissible
After “indivisible”
To add “sovereign and independent”?
(2001)

Last week’s limerick

IDENTITY CRISIS
You are British or French in the clutch,
Polish, Spanish, Czech, German, or Dutch,
Greek, Italian, Slovene,
But you’re not “European”:
Reaffirm who you are and be such.

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  • Jun 27 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: IDENTITY CRISIS

identitycrisis

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IDENTITY CRISIS
You are British or French in the clutch,
Polish, Spanish, Czech, German, or Dutch,
Greek, Italian, Slovene,
But you’re not “European”:
Reaffirm who you are and be such.

From the archive

RIDING THE TIGER
What’s holding up unified Europe?
State sovereigns won’t step in the stirrup.
Getting in’s not in doubt;
It’s how to get out
That’s a question as sticky as syrup.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

$PEECHE$
She’s about as exciting as clay
And has nothing of interest to say,
But the muckety-mucks
Give her millions of bucks
‘Cause they know that they must pay to play.

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  • Jun 20 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: $PEECHE$

$peeche$

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

$PEECHE$
She’s about as exciting as clay
And has nothing of interest to say,
But the muckety-mucks
Give her millions of bucks
‘Cause they know that they must pay to play.

Lagniappe

POP QUIZ
“It’s the second time now that you’ve had
To miss school for the death of your dad.
Did he die more than once?
Do you think I’m a dunce?”
“Losing two fathers, so far, is so sad.”

Last week’s limerick

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
If she happens to win, what then?
Where will Hillary be sworn in?
Will she be inaugurated
Where she’s incarcerated:
In her cell in a federal pen?

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  • Jun 13 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS

presidentialaddress

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PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
If she happens to win, what then?
Where will Hillary be sworn in?
Will she be inaugurated
Where she’s incarcerated:
In her cell in a federal pen?

From the archive

SAP
Special Access Programs compromised?
Covert agents exposed, jeopardized?
One so reckless and dumb
Would be sure to become
A commander-in-chief neutralized.
(2016)

SET UP
What did Stevens really know?
What dark dealings could he show?
Was he starting to balk?
Was he threatening to talk?
Why did Stevens have to go?!
(2015)

CLINTONEMAIL.COMEDY
“You’ll hand over your emails, complete,
Without further delay or deceit.”
“Oh, please, don’t have a cow:
I’m compiling them now –
Oops! I’m sorry, I just hit ‘delete.’”
(2015)

NOT DOT GOV
You’d expect a felonious female
Not to want to mail mail the way we mail,
Not to follow the rules
Like the rest of us fools,
And to have her own personal email.
(2015)

BELLE OF BENGHAZI
The worst candidates money can buy
Are the ones psychopathically sly,
So inherently truthless,
Self-absorbedly ruthless
They don’t care when their countrymen die
(2014)

“DID I DO THAT?”
When the blood of Seals is spilled,
U.S. border agents killed,
And our boys in Benghazi
Become kamikaze,
We must ask by whom it’s willed.
(2013)

HILL OF BEANS
“Oh, for goodness sake:
I made a little mistake!
So I lied and lied
And people died:
What difference does it make?”
(2013)

HILLARY’S CONVICTION
The First Lady’s a post-modern wife
In responding to marital strife:
She’ll stand by her man
As long as she can,
‘Cause it’s better than “20 to Life.”
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

MANIA
“That corrupt and incompetent frump
Or that slovenly socialist grump?
Either one would be better
Than a genuine go-getter:
We must do what we can to stop Trump!”

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  • Jun 06 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: MANIA

mania [945252]

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

MANIA
“That corrupt and incompetent frump
Or that slovenly socialist grump?
Either one would be better
Than a genuine go-getter:
We must do what we can to stop Trump!”

From the archive

DIS ESTABLISHMENT
Bush and Dole and Bush again?
Romney after John McCain?
Reagan and Trump,
You tried to dump?
Grand Old Party, please explain.
(2016)

HOPELESS
They elected a black Forrest Gump,
Whom world leaders dismissed as a chump,
By this churl they were charmed,
Now they say they’re alarmed
At the prospect of President Trump!
(2016)

TRUMP CARD
When a pol from a party’s defected
And a third-party bid is expected,
You can bet the turncoat
Will just split up the vote
And ensure the opposition’s elected.
2015

RINOPLASTY
“If you don’t want your votes cast in vain,
Then wash Newt, Rick, and Ron down the drain;
Accept candidate Romney
As the mandated nominee:
Be consoled with a clone of McCain!”
(2012)

TEATOTALERS
Having taken it on the chin,
All the RINOs are packing it in:
They’d rather abstain
Than actively deign
To help Tea Party candidates win.
(2010)

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST
Having rendered himself indistinct,
A Republican candidate finked,
And we now can take Crist
Off the endangered list,
‘Cause this RINO’s already extinct.
(2010)

Last week’s limerick

LIVE AT THE APOLOGY!
“America has been lawless
And should be held in awe less:
For her acts unwise,
I apologize,
Though I myself am flawless.”

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  • May 30 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: LIVE AT THE APOLOGY!

liveattheapology

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LIVE AT THE APOLOGY!
“America has been lawless
And should be held in awe less:
For her acts unwise,
I apologize,
Though I myself am flawless.”

From the archive

(DOING) THE OBAMA
Two steps forward and bow like Barack.
Arms akimbo, a single step back.
Now a shuffle in place
With a smile on your face.
Two steps forward and bow like Barack . . .
(2012)

WHOSE SARI NOW?
“Mr. President, hazard a guess:
What’s an Indian word for a dress?”
“Gee, I’m scratching my head.
Hmm, uh, sorry,” he said.
“That was it, Mr. President, yes!”
(2012)

OBOWMA
How he’ll flatter, fawn, and fuss,
Make himself obsequious!
To tyrants alone
The man is prone:
Never will he bow to us.
(2010)

TOADY
To Arabian sheiks he’ll kowtow,
And the Japanese emperor now,
But the one we elect
Ought to show his respect
With a handshake and never a bow.
(2009)

THE RULES
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
(2007)

GROVELING
I apologize to you
For the thing I did not do.
I am not the one
Who did what was done
— And for that I’m sorry, too.
(2005)

SORRY PERFORMANCE
Here’s the presidential line
On a penitential fine:
“I’ll gladly confess
And make redress
For everyone’s sin but mine!”
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

RICHER DOLE
All those Clinton years left Eric older,
His Obama time left Eric colder:
Such experience hardens,
But the selling of pardons
Has undoubtedly left Eric golder.

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  • May 23 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: RICHER DOLE

richerdole

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

RICHER DOLE
All those Clinton years left Eric older,
His Obama time left Eric colder:
Such experience hardens,
But the selling of pardons
Has undoubtedly left Eric golder.

From the archive

CASHIFIED INFORMATION
“For accelerated authorization
With regard to above application:
To ensure I approve you,
It might well behoove you
To kick in to my family foundation.”
(2015)

WICKED
Through years the graft extends
And favors for their “friends”:
They plundered like Vandals,
Now Hillary’s scandals
Are burning at both ends.
(2015)

HOLDER HELD
For approving operations injurious
And attesting to alibis spurious,
Eric merits a cell
In a hellish hotel,
Doing time with the fast and the furious.
(2011)

From the Clinton archive (1996-2000)

BILL IN A CHINA SHOP
Campaign prospects are more sunny
When the coffer’s full of money.
Leave it to Bill
To fill the till
With money that is funny!

BILL PAYING
Pardon him, pardon her, pardon you.
Pardon everyone Bill ever knew.
There’s no need to be frugal:
Pardon Hubbell, McDougall,
Pardon Gore, pardon Hillary too!

CLINTONIAN DIPLOMACY
“We’ll supply whatsoever you need
To ensure your armed forces succeed,
And we won’t make a fuss
If you use them on us,
‘Cause our sole motivation is greed.

RIADY OR NOT, HERE WE COME!
“Though funds that the DNC spent
Did arise in the Orient,
Our designs are disputable,
Lippo’s motives inscrutable —
Can you prove that we’re not innocent?”

Last week’s limerick

MINSTREL PERIODS
What he’s done for his “brothers” ain’t much,
With his “roots” he appears out of touch,
But when under attack
He’s decidedly black,
With a race card to play in the clutch.

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  • May 16 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: Minstrel Periods

minstrelperiods

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MINSTREL PERIODS
What he’s done for his “brothers” ain’t much,
With his “roots” he appears out of touch,
But when under attack
He’s decidedly black,
With a race card to play in the clutch.

From the archive

FRIENDS AT LAST
We’ll go through a transitional stage
To get over a long-lasting rage,
And when Jennifer Aniston
And her very last fan is gone,
We will enter a post-Rachel age.
(2014)

BLANK LIKE ME
Census takers who tally my head
Will not know if I’m black, white, or red:
Because, in the space
To designate race,
I’ll inscribe the word “human” instead.
(2000)

PREFIXATION
Adding Euro- and Afro- won’t do:
Ethnic conflict will only ensue.
No hyphen for me:
I’m happy to be
An American through and through.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

DIS ESTABLISHMENT
Bush and Dole and Bush again?
Romney after John McCain?
Reagan and Trump,
You tried to dump?
Grand Old Party, please explain.

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