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Posts Tagged / politickle

  • Nov 20 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: TODA!

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TODA!
“Thanks for everything!” should be our motto:
If we’re grateful, then how can we not crow
“Thank you! Thank you so much!”
“Merci!” “Danke!” and such,
“Xie xie!” “Grazie!” “Shukran!” “Arrigato!”?

From the archive

YUGE MEAL
Trump has won, there’s no way to annul it:
Celebrate with a Thanksgiving pullet,
But, before you eat, nod
And be grateful to God
That our country has just dodged a bullet.
(2016)

REMEMBERED
“Like so many, I usually feel
That Thanksgiving is not a big deal.
As it once more draws near,
I feel different this year:
I’m invited somewhere for a meal.”
(2015)

COLD TURKEY
Though our Thanksgiving customs are charming,
Experts say one such custom is harming
Our environment and planet
And they may have to ban it:
This man-made, oven-based gobbler warming.
(2014)

TURKEY SURPRISE
“Maw, I cain’t get the butcherin’ done.
You an’ Granny had both better run:
That big turkey’s a-fussin’
An’ comin’ for us’n –
With my hatchet and Paw’s 12-gauge gun!”
(2013)

THANK GOD!
This Thanksgiving, may families join ranks
And remember to fill in the blanks:
So expression of gratitude
May be more than a platitude,
Let’s acknowledge to Whom we give thanks.
(2012)

LEFTOVERS
Thursday’s carcass long after supplies
Turkey Sandwiches, Stews, and Pot Pies;
Turkey Omelets, Fettucini,
Casseroles, Tetrazzini;
Turkey Gumbo, à la King, and Surprise.
(2011)

DRESS CODE
We showed up in our holiday best,
With the exception of one honored guest,
So the dinner was late
And we all had to wait
Because “Tom” was not properly dressed.
(2010)

ASK AND RECEIVE
The poor Tinman is lacking a heart,
While the Scarecrow is not very smart;
And the King of the Forest,
Expected to roar best,
Is reluctant to play a brave part.
(2009)

OOH LA LA!
A fried turkey injected with spice,
Shrimp-stuffed mirlitons and dirty rice,
Pecan pie, oyster dressing –
How we rush through the blessing!
Yes, a Creole Thanksgiving is nice.
(2008)

GRATITUDE
If you’re thankful for your lot
And all the things you’ve got,
Then say a prayer
And give a care
For someone on the spot.
(2007)

FAVORITE DISH
How much better can Thanksgiving get?
In my bedroom a 60-inch set,
And in HD displayed
This year’s Macy’s Parade:
Waking up to a scrumptious Rockette!
(2007)

SATIETY
With the turkey and trimmings procured,
Our Thanksgiving repast is assured,
But it won’t be complete
‘Til we sit down to eat
And the family’s as stuffed as the bird.
(2006)

CIRCULAR SAUCE
If your husband’s a Thanksgiving fan
And a cranberry sauce kind of man,
You might make him a batch
Of the sauce all from scratch,
But he’ll miss that weird goop in the can!
(2005)

THANKSGIVING
Lord, we ask of you a boon:
To bless our guests this noon.
We’re so grateful they
Could come today –
And have to leave real soon!
(2004)

GOBBLER
Hold your horses; we’re not in a race.
Get that drumstick away from your face.
Now put your fork down
And stop making that frown.
You can eat when we finish the grace.
(2003)

Last week’s limerick

THINK!
Before going all in, why not pause
To research pros and cons of your “cause”?
For example, inquire
Why the murder rate’s higher
In the cities with gun-control laws.

  • Nov 13 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: THINK!

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THINK!
Before going all in, why not pause
To research pros and cons of your “cause”?
For example, inquire
Why the murder rate’s higher
In the cities with gun-control laws.

From the archive

ARMS & THE MANDATE
What the Second Amendment defends
Is a right on which all else depends:
To resist subjugation
Of ourselves and our nation
And live free as our Maker intends.
(2016)

PROTECTED CLASS
“When all private gun ownership’s barred,
I’m sure giving up mine won’t be hard:
I’ll be safe as before,
And perhaps even more –
’Cause I’ll have a well-armed bodyguard.”.
(2013)

CONTROLLING PERSONALITY
Though the news out of Newtown was grim,
Mayor Bloomberg’s reaction was dim.
Why we keep and bear arms?
To respond to alarms
And protect us from tyrants like him.
(2012)

FULL DISCLOSURE
A stripper deemed too independent
Was called into court as defendant;
She said of her charms:
“I’ve the right ‘to bare arms’;
It’s enshrined in the Second Amendment.”
(2002)

TOO SAFE
“Wake up, Dear, go downstairs, and look!
I heard a strange noise in the nook!”
“Where’s the key to the lock
On my .380 Glock?”
“Oh, I hung it somewhere on a hook!”
(1999)

WITNESS FOR THE DEFENSE
Anyone who cannot be persuaded
That our gun rights must not be degraded
Should inquire of the Swiss,
Who are armed and don’t miss,
Why it is that they’re never invaded.
(1998)

BETTER READY THAN DEAD
Here’s a survey that needs to be done
On the merits of having a gun:
Ask anyone harmed
By a thug who was armed
If he wishes he, too, had had one.
(1997)

Last week’s limerick

ASSAULT & FLATTERY
Men and women are left with no room
For incipient romance to bloom:
No more innocent flirting
Or impulsively blurting
“Hubba hubba!” and “Va va va voom!”

  • Nov 06 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: ASSAULT & FLATTERY

Celebrate the diversity of men and women with a “Vive la difference!” t-shirt!

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

ASSAULT & FLATTERY
Men and women are left with no room
For incipient romance to bloom:
No more innocent flirting
Or impulsively blurting
“Hubba hubba!” and “Va va va voom!”

From the archive

FALL START
From the clock that I keep on the wall
I acquired one more hour last Fall,
But I never did use it
And will now likely lose it:
Tell me what was the point of it all?
(2017)

ON THE BLINK
Saving daylight is wonderfully wise
And a cinch if a citizen tries.
It’s so simple to do,
I’ll explain it to you:
You save daylight by closing your eyes.
(2007)

OUR CONFUSION
Will we ever develop the knack
Of remembering how to keep track,
Overcoming the “block”
Of resetting our clock:
To “fall forward” or, rather, “fall back”?
(2005)

Last week’s limerick

DON OF THE DEAD
Deep in Boondoggle Bog, the Beast thrives,
Until one day The Donald arrives.
“They are draining the swamp!”
She shrieks, running: clomp, clomp.
“He is coming! Run! Run for your lives!”

  • Oct 30 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: DON OF THE DEAD

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DON OF THE DEAD
Deep in Boondoggle Bog, the Beast thrives,
Until one day The Donald arrives.
“They are draining the swamp!”
She shrieks, running: clomp, clomp.
“He is coming! Run! Run for your lives!”

From the archive

FORWARD, MARSH!
“We’re surrounded by partisan haters,
Resisters, subversives, and traitors:
We have struggled and strained
To get the swamp drained,
But we’re up to our asses in gators.”
(2017)

GOOD NOOSE
With more dirt every day to defend,
Even Hillary can now see the trend:
“It’s just not meant to be,
I’ll need some place to flee,
My great criminal career’s at an end.”
(2016)

HOLLOW WEENIE
“I may act like Elmer Fudd
And appear to be a dud,
But I’m truly spectacular,
The awesome Count Barackula,
And I want to suck your blood.”
(2011)

FAST FORWARD
I remember with special delight
How each holiday had its own rite:
Now that commerce trumps living,
We skip over Thanksgiving
And start Christmas on Halloween night.
(2010)

HOUSE OF HORRORS
By the demons we all have been taunted
As unnatural powers were flaunted,
But the townsfolk will rout
And then drive the fiends out
Of the House on the Hill that is haunted.
(2009)

GETTING WHAT WE ASK FOR
Halloween we all shout “Trick or Treat!”
As we hit every house on the street.
The next morning we wake
With a bad stomach ache,
‘Cause we had too much candy to eat.
(2009)

NANCYLVANIA
With the change in the House status quo, see
The new Madame Speaker Pelosi
Enduring the glare
With the crazed, glassy stare
Of a transgendered Bela Lugosi.
(2007)

NIGHT OF THE VOTING DEAD
“We’ll be summoned from slumberous state
To endorse the quadrennial slate;
Then it’s back to the grave,
Where we’ll try to behave
‘Til another electoral date!”
(2004)

THE GREAT BUMPKIN
Linus scans the nightscape scary
For a form imaginary:
There, looming tall
Like an orange ball,
Glows a pumpkin-colored Kerry!
(2004)

HILLAREEN
What compares to the horrible fright
That will haunt us on Halloween night?
Consider the fear,
As elections draw near,
Ghoulish candidates soon will excite!
(2003)

INAUGURAL NIGHT
Bush had plenty of sleep before,
Knowing now he will get no more,
With the clanking chain
And the cries of pain
From the ghost of a grieving Gore.
(2000)

RECOUNT DRACULA
There once was a man named Vlad
Who was known for a habit he had:
With such pride in his nailing,
When he took to impaling
No one ever would challenge his chad.
(2000)

MR. PRECEDENT
What a vile conglomeration
Of every abomination:
In Clinton’s wake,
Only villains will make
A bid for the nomination.
(1999)

WHAT IS IT, E-GORE?
The mad doctor was testing a drug
When he felt on his labcoat a tug:
“Master, oh Master,
We’ve got to work faster
To destroy the Millennium Bug!”
(1999)

ZOMBIES
From justice they craftily fled
And avoided the sanctions they dread;
Now O.J. and Bill
Can linger at will
In the night of the fast-living dead.
(1999)

Last week’s limerick

URANIUM ONE
To avoid an erroneous conclusion,
Let’s begin by dispelling confusion:
It was Hillary who took
Russian bribes like a crook,
It was Hillary engaged in collusion.

  • Oct 23 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: URANIUM ONE

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URANIUM ONE
To avoid an erroneous conclusion,
Let’s begin by dispelling confusion:
It was Hillary who took
Russian bribes like a crook,
It was Hillary engaged in collusion.

From the archive

ONE LAW
Equal justice is our paradigm
And applies to commission of crime.
That’s why Comey and Lynch
Should both feel the “pinch”
And Obama and Clinton do time.
(2017)

SHOW
“As of yet, we have failed to outflank him,
Having turned up no evidence, dang him!
But ours is a court
Of a different sort:
We will have a ‘fair’ trial and then hang him.”
(2017)

BALLAD OF HILL’RY CLINTON

[to the tune of Davy Crockett]

Married to the governor of Arkansas,
Saw herself and him as above the law.
How that First Lady would scratch and claw
To get some filthy lucre in her grubby paws!
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

At Madison Guaranty Savings & Loan,
The McDougals did their best to throw her a bone.
Everyone went to prison, ‘cept Bill and her alone.
“Whitewatergate” is how that scandal’s known.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

When she got to the White House, there were scandals galore:
There were Travelgate and Fostergate and umpteen more,
Filegate and Chinagate (with help from Al Gore),
Pardongate and other -gates – who can even keep score?
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

In the Senate and at State, there was more of the same:
Trading favors for financing has always been her aim.
For disasters like Bengazi, she refused to take the blame,
Emailgate’s the latest and she acts like it’s a game.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

She will speak in phony accents ’cause she likes to condescend,
She just uses everybody and has never had a friend,
She deserves to be in prison and that’s where her life should end,
How she expects to be the president is too hard to comprehend.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!
(2016)

CLINTONEMAIL.COMEDY
“You’ll hand over your emails, complete,
Without further delay or deceit.”
“Oh, please, don’t have a cow:
I’m compiling them now –
Oops! I’m sorry, I just hit ‘delete.’”
(2015)

NOT DOT GOV
You’d expect a felonious female
Not to want to mail mail the way we mail,
Not to follow the rules
Like the rest of us fools,
And to have her own personal email.
(2015)

BELLE OF BENGHAZI
The worst candidates money can buy
Are the ones psychopathically sly,
So inherently truthless,
Self-absorbedly ruthless
They don’t care when their countrymen die
(2014)

HILL OF BEANS
“Oh, for goodness sake:
I made a little mistake!
So I lied and lied
And people died:
What difference does it make?”
(2013)

Last week’s limerick

GATEKEEPERS
Academia’s vetting our views,
Mainstream media’s spinning our news,
But they seem to forget
That it’s all on the Net:
Their distortions are not what we choose.

  • Oct 09 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: SUCCESS!

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SUCCESS!
There are times when a president fails,
Other times when he clearly prevails,
So give credit to Trump
For the NFL slump,
To Obama for boosting gun sales.

From the archive

BRIGHT SPOT
Though he seems to completely ignore
An economy sick to the core,
Fearless Leader has made
More demand for one trade,
Guaranteeing that gun sales would soar.
(2012)

Last week’s limerick

OUT OF BOUNDS
If you’re good on a stage or a court,
You’ll enjoy our unflagging support,
But don’t offer us clues
To your vacuous views:
Stick to acting or playing a sport.

  • Oct 02 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: OUT OF BOUNDS

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OUT OF BOUNDS
If you’re good on a stage or a court,
You’ll enjoy our unflagging support,
But don’t offer us clues
To your vacuous views:
Stick to acting or playing a sport.

From the archive

SUPER BAWL
Seeing tirades and tantrums begin
Well before Donald Trump was sworn in,
Fake adults throwing fits
Like some overgrown kids,
Aren’t you glad these big brats didn’t win?
(2017)

7.4.15
We’re still standing, and standing unbowed,
We’re Americans, naturally proud,
And we make this forecast:
That this won’t be the last
July Fourth celebration allowed.
(2015)

DEPENDENCE DAY
“I remember how some of us tried:
How we fought, how we failed, how we cried,
How we few knew the worth
Of this last hope on earth.
I was there when America died.”
(2012)

REPUBLIC
Our Creator has blessed us a lot
Since the sound of that round-the-world shot,
But how long will we be
Still the land of the free
If the people don’t know what we’ve got?
(2011)

REVOLTING DEVELOPMENT
Revolution’s a natural desire
When we lack what our natures require,
But it loses its glow
When oppressed people go
From the frying pan into the fire.
(2011)

INDEPENDENCE DAY
All the fireworks exploding on high,
Celebrating the Fourth of July,
Symbolize how we fought
For that world-changing thought:
If we cannot live free, we shall die.
(2008)

WORLD FREEDOM
If freedom can come to Romanians,
Albanians, Lithuanians, Ukrainians,
Why must others abide
While their freedom’s denied:
Brother Syrians, Saudis, Iranians?
(2006)

REVOLUTION REVERIE
I attend every fireworks show
With the spirits of men you may know:
General Washington,
Thomas Jefferson,
Adams, Madison, and Monroe.
(2006)

ANTHEM FELLOW
With Bates, Berlin, and Key,
I salute this “land of the free,”
This “land that I love . . .
With the light from above,”
Stretched “from sea to shining sea.”
(2002)

Last week’s limerick

ONE LAW
Equal justice is our paradigm
And applies to commission of crime.
That’s why Comey and Lynch
Should both feel the “pinch”
And Obama and Clinton do time.

  • Sep 18 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: WHIGGING OUT

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WHIGGING OUT
Do the Democrats represent you?
Are Republicans renegade, too?
Would you like to see Trump shun
Their colossal presumption
And our two-party system renew?

From the archive

DIS ESTABLISHMENT
Bush and Dole and Bush again?
Romney after John McCain?
Reagan and Trump,
You tried to dump?
Grand Old Party, please explain.
(2016)

RINOPLASTY
“If you don’t want your votes cast in vain,
Then wash Newt, Rick, and Ron down the drain;
Accept candidate Romney
As the mandated nominee:
Be consoled with a clone of McCain!”
(2012)

TEATOTALERS
Having taken it on the chin,
All the RINOs are packing it in:
They’d rather abstain
Than actively deign
To help Tea Party candidates win.
(2010)

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST
Having rendered himself indistinct,
A Republican candidate finked,
And we now can take Crist
Off the endangered list,
‘Cause this RINO’s already extinct.
(2010)

Last week’s limerick

BUSTED
While we’re kicking up such a big fuss
Over statues of men valorous,
Plowing history asunder,
Do we even once wonder:
Are the statues embarrassed by us?

  • Sep 11 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: BUSTED

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BUSTED
While we’re kicking up such a big fuss
Over statues of men valorous,
Plowing history asunder,
Do we even once wonder:
Are the statues embarrassed by us?

From the archive

MEMORIAL DAY
If you’re honest and also well-bred,
You’ll pay homage to all who have bled
– Wearing blue, wearing gray –
And on this special day
Also honor Confederate dead.
(2017)

Last week’s limerick

HARVEY
Though the dainty succumb to the vapors,
The determined aren’t daunted by labors:
When a hurricane vexes,
The good people of Texas
Provide comfort and aid to their neighbors.

  • Sep 04 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: HARVEY

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

HARVEY
Though the dainty succumb to the vapors,
The determined aren’t daunted by labors:
When a hurricane vexes,
The good people of Texas
Provide comfort and aid to their neighbors.

From the archive

GOOD FRIDAY
When tornadoes come whirling your way,
You get down on your knees and you pray:
You’re just glad you’re not dead,
Have a roof overhead —
Nothing else seems to matter that day.
(2011)

POST KATRINA
“Good Lord, will you give us a break?
There’s a limit to what we can take.
Now Ernesto appears
And revives all our fears
Of the difference that single days make!”
(2006)

I OF THE STORM
William Jefferson struggled to hide
Every trace of his larcenous side,
While Katrina touched down
And destroyed the whole town
And constituents suffered and died.
(2006)

VINCENTIANS
When desperate disasters begin,
They don’t have to send anyone in,
‘Cause these people who care
Are already there —
In the places they always have been.
(2005)

SURVIVOR
You strive and you strive and you strive
Until, finally, at last you arrive!
Then you lose your nice home —
Everything that you own —
And thank God that at least you’re alive.
(2005)

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?
New Orleans is under attack
As savages rampage and sack.
How long will they loot,
How long will they shoot,
Before somebody finally shoots back?.
(2005)

KATRINA
There are times in our lives to restart,
Times when everything comes apart:
Do you know what it means
To miss New Orleans
When that’s where you left your heart?
(2005)

Last week’s limerick

AD HOMINEM
“My rhetorical skills are third-rate,
But I never have lost a debate:
Facts and logic I lack,
So I launch an attack
And accuse my opponent of hate!”

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