Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:
“Receive our wisdom, peasants,
And be grateful for our presence
As your benefactors,”
Say anchors and actors,
Athletes, and adolescents.
From the archive
DAINTY, AREN’T WE?
“Such a horror has never occurred,
Such a thing never spoken or heard:
We were shocked and dismayed,
Mortified and afraid
When the president said a bad word!”
OUT OF BOUNDS
If you’re good on a stage or a court,
You’ll enjoy our unflagging support,
But don’t offer us clues
To your vacuous views:
Stick to acting or playing a sport.
Seeing tirades and tantrums begin
Well before Donald Trump was sworn in,
Fake adults throwing fits
Like some overgrown kids,
Aren’t you glad these big brats didn’t win?
Academia’s vetting our views,
Mainstream media’s spinning our news,
But they seem to forget
That it’s all on the Net:
Their distortions are not what we choose.
Mainstream media’s known to suffuse
Its reports with particular views:
With this bias abundant,
It’s absurdly redundant
To call what it offers “fake news.”
THIS IS CNN
“Hey! Hello! Over here! Can’t you see?
I’ve a question to ask! Call on me!
Are you totally blind?
Are you out of your mind?
I’m a big shot who’s seen on TV!”
“How can anyone belie us
Or suggest we bear a bias?
Our head-tilted-back poses
Let you see up our noses,
Proving we’re ever so pious.”
It may be just the biggest lie ever,
Making saner sorts say, “Well, I never!”
But celebrities tweet it
And you have to repeat it
If you want to sound current and clever.
It’s a simple, effective deceit:
Those called “racist” are doomed to defeat,
Yet the ones with most gall,
The most racist of all,
Are the pandering liberal elite.
Take the pledge and escape from its grip,
Nevermore from this moment a nip:
If you value your brain,
You must henceforth refrain
From the vile Mainstream Media drip.
“Just like Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow,
We’re committed, determined, and thorough:
In the media, the schools,
With our radical rules,
We’re the moles that unceasingly burrow.”
Left-wing radicals running our schools
Do great harm with their inverted rules:
They oppose every norm,
Reject custom and form,
And show deference to freaks and to fools.
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
BIRDS OF A FEATHER
The media rarely deride
A President on the same side:
For the faithful defender
Of their social agenda,
They’re willing to let some things slide.
In the past, he was forced to “pay dues”
And develop “a nose for the news.”
Well, he still has a nose,
But, my, how it grows
When the facts must conform to his views!
Jennings, Rather, Brokaw
Seem determined to jabber and jaw.
They think we’re too dumb
To discern the outcome
Of the campaign debate we just saw.
Last week’s limerick
He’s condemned to a pain-filled parade,
Falling thrice (even with Simon’s aid),
Hearing sad women’s sighs,
Then he’s stripped, nailed, and dies,
From the cross taken down, and tomb-laid.