Politickles

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

MAYOR MAY NOT
We can’t know what the future will bring,
What health hazards Fate at us will fling,
But there’s nothing to fear
In Manhattan this year:
Mayor Bloomers has banned everything.

From the archive:

BARACK AGAIN
Suffered three years so far of Obama
And Michelle, our new substitute mama:
Cannot wait ’til he’s canned
And we won’t have to stand
Yet another full year of his drama.
(2011)

THAT’S A WRAP!
There were high points to Two-Thousand-Ten,
Forming memories recalled with a grin:
Yes, I had me some fun,
But I’m glad that it’s done –
And I wouldn’t go through it again.
(2010)

RESOLUTIONS
1. Reconnect with a special old friend
2. Earn a few dollars more than I spend
3. Try to concentrate solely
On becoming more holy
4. Make it all the way through to year’s end.
(2009)

YEAR MUFF
I sure hope that it isn’t a sign
Of accelerating mental decline
When I know it’s too late
To write 2008
But forget to write 2009.
(2008)

NEW YEAR
I’m a victim of non-circumstance,
Having gone through the year in a trance.
Maybe 2008
Didn’t turn out so great,
But I’ll soon have another new chance.
(2008)

SISYPHUS
For 12 months I had strived to get there,
And at last to the top I drew near;
When I reached the hill’s crown,
The stone rolled right back down,
So I’m starting all over this year.
(2007)

JANUARY 1
I resolve not to gain any weight,
I resolve not to ever be late,
I resolve not to get
Any further in debt –
On this single inceptional date!
(2007)

ANNUAL REPORT
I’m amazed when the year’s finally through
At the things that I’ve managed to do,
But I can’t understand
Why the things that I planned
Are the things that I never got to.
(2006)

OUT OF TIME
How I leapt into 2005
And pursued all my plans with such drive!
But it’s now crystal clear
That there’s not enough year
Before 2006 will arrive.
(2005)

RUN OF THE MILLENNIUM
Our thousand-year party was fun.
We’ll repeat it for 2001.
A millennial glow
Two years in a row
And a hangover second to none!
(2000)

DISCONTINUING RESOLUTIONS
Resolutions I’ve hastily made
Are infrequently kept, I’ m afraid;
Still, I find I can live up
To a promise to give up
Resolutions I’ve hastily made.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick:

GOOD NEWS
Briefly now is theirs the throne,
Fame and fortune overblown,
And the ones oppressed
Ever after blessed
When the Savior claims His own.

For the first time in decades, the left is meeting broad, sustained resistance. Its socialist utopia – so close and yet so far – is slipping away, the victim of economic reality. The entitlement society is unsustainable; it is crumbling under its massive, big-government weight. For progressives, this is why Tea Partyers are “terrorists” – political insurgents who are willing to stand up to the venal, decrepit liberal regime. Yet Tea Partyers are America’s freedom fighters; they are forcing the federal government to begin devolving power back to the people. – Jeffrey Kuhner, Edmund Burke Institute

If this is terror, let’s have more of it!

All 15 episodes of “Tea Time” are contained in this 2.5-minute compilation.

The Western cult of happiness is indeed a strange adventure, something like a collective intoxication. In the guise of emancipation, it transforms a high ideal into its opposite. Condemned to joy, we must be happy or lose all standing in society. It is not a question of knowing whether we are more or less happy than our ancestors; our conception of the thing itself has changed, and we are probably the first society in history to make people unhappy for not being happy. – Pascal Bruckner

AMDG

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

’S MOTHER
Oh, thank goodness the government’s there
To precaution and make me beware:
I’m now starving to death,
Blue from holding my breath,
’Cause I’m frightened of food and of air.

From the archive:

IT’S THE LAW!
Seatbelt on your easy chair,
Life vest in the tub to wear,
Steel-toed bedroom slippers,
Velcro trouser zippers,
Flame-retardant underwear.
(2009)

CLICK IT OR TICKET
“I’m afraid I must take you downtown,”
The policeman announced with a frown.
Such a fate I was dealt
For not wearing a belt –
Which was why my new trousers fell down.
(2009)

ZERO RISK?
I anticipate danger ahead
And foresee myself injured or dead
– From falling, perchance,
While putting on pants,
So I’d better not get out bed.
(1999)

BUSYBODIES
They’ll first find tobacco at fault,
Then coffee, wine, spirits, and malt.
Then they’ll next demonize
Colas, burgers, and fries,
Then all snacks made with sugar and salt!
(1998)

NO CURE FOR THE COMMON SCOLD
They insist we directly disown
Every pleasure and pastime that’s known.
Those “natural” nags
And health-conscious hags –
Oh, why can’t they leave us alone?
(1998)

Last week’s verse:

WORKING BARACKWARDS
Whom does he hope he is hooking
When he claims our economy’s cooking?
Are more people employed
Or just lost in the void
’Cause they simply have given up looking?

All 15 episodes of “Tea Time” are contained in this 2.5-minute compilation.

TEA TIME GIRL: You can burn your hands on a kettle or scald yourself with hot tea. Should the government make us wear mittens and drink tepid tea? I think I can handle the danger.

Here’s another episode of “Tea Time.” Look for the complete collection on Youtube and Facebook. Enjoy, share, and remember in November!

TEA TIME GIRL: Did you know that the same box of tea costs more at one store than another? Does something need to be done about that? Or can we just shop around?

Here’s another episode of “Tea Time.” Look for the complete collection on Youtube and Facebook. Enjoy, share, and remember in November!

TEA TIME GIRL: I use a new teabag for every cup of tea. Is that wasteful? Should I reuse the same bag five or six times? Or can I just enjoy my tea the way I like it?

Here’s another episode of the new Politickles video series “Tea Time.” Look for the complete collection on Youtube and Facebook. Enjoy, share, and remember in November!

TEA TIME GIRL: I make tea by boiling water on the stove or heating it in the microwave. Will the martinets of energy efficiency mandate sun tea instead?

Here’s another episode of the new Politickles video series “Tea Time.” Look for the complete collection on Youtube and Facebook. Enjoy, share, and remember in November!

TEA TIME GIRL: My tea kettle releases steam. Is that a greenhouse gas? Am I contributing to global warming? Would you like my carbon footprint on your backside?

Here’s another episode of the new Politickles video series “Tea Time.” Look for the complete collection on Youtube and Facebook. Enjoy, share, and remember in November!