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Posts Tagged / Hillary’s email

  • Aug 20 / 2018
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Your Weekly Politickle: RIGHT ON Q

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

RIGHT ON Q
Though for months it has seemed like a dud,
The drip-dropping will soon be a flood,
And the things we will hear
As the midterms draw near:
Dirty Democrats covered in mud!

From the archive

SLOW DEATH
As investigators make connections,
Dirty Democrats face rejections:
Their poll numbers will slip
As the facts drip, drip –
Right on up to the midterm elections.
(2018)

WELL, DUH!
I had never the slightest confusion
And came easily to this conclusion,
Needing no one to show me
It was Mueller and Comey
With the Clintons engaged in collusion.
(2017)

URANIUM ONE
To avoid an erroneous conclusion,
Let’s begin by dispelling confusion:
It was Hillary who took
Russian bribes like a crook,
It was Hillary engaged in collusion.
(2017)

ONE LAW
Equal justice is our paradigm
And applies to commission of crime.
That’s why Comey and Lynch
Should both feel the “pinch”
And Obama and Clinton do time.
(2017)

BALLAD OF HILL’RY CLINTON

[to the tune of Davy Crockett]

Married to the governor of Arkansas,
Saw herself and him as above the law.
How that First Lady would scratch and claw
To get some filthy lucre in her grubby paws!
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

At Madison Guaranty Savings & Loan,
The McDougals did their best to throw her a bone.
Everyone went to prison, ‘cept Bill and her alone.
“Whitewatergate” is how that scandal’s known.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

When she got to the White House, there were scandals galore:
There were Travelgate and Fostergate and umpteen more,
Filegate and Chinagate (with help from Al Gore),
Pardongate and other -gates – who can even keep score?
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

In the Senate and at State, there was more of the same:
Trading favors for financing has always been her aim.
For disasters like Bengazi, she refused to take the blame,
Emailgate’s the latest and she acts like it’s a game.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

She will speak in phony accents ’cause she likes to condescend,
She just uses everybody and has never had a friend,
She deserves to be in prison and that’s where her life should end,
How she expects to be the president is too hard to comprehend.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!
(2016)

Last week’s limerick

TOO MUCH WINNIE
Xi Jinping likes to act like he’s tough,
But his bluster is nothing but bluff:
He’s a dictator who
Is frightened by Pooh!
Who’s afraid of a bear stuffed with fluff?

  • Feb 12 / 2018
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Your Weekly Politickle: SLOW DEATH

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SLOW DEATH
As investigators make connections,
Dirty Democrats face rejections:
Their poll numbers will slip
As the facts drip, drip –
Right on up to the midterm elections.

From the archive

WELL, DUH!
I had never the slightest confusion
And came easily to this conclusion,
Needing no one to show me
It was Mueller and Comey
With the Clintons engaged in collusion.
(2017)

URANIUM ONE
To avoid an erroneous conclusion,
Let’s begin by dispelling confusion:
It was Hillary who took
Russian bribes like a crook,
It was Hillary engaged in collusion.
(2017)

ONE LAW
Equal justice is our paradigm
And applies to commission of crime.
That’s why Comey and Lynch
Should both feel the “pinch”
And Obama and Clinton do time.
(2017)

BALLAD OF HILL’RY CLINTON

[to the tune of Davy Crockett]

Married to the governor of Arkansas,
Saw herself and him as above the law.
How that First Lady would scratch and claw
To get some filthy lucre in her grubby paws!
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

At Madison Guaranty Savings & Loan,
The McDougals did their best to throw her a bone.
Everyone went to prison, ‘cept Bill and her alone.
“Whitewatergate” is how that scandal’s known.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

When she got to the White House, there were scandals galore:
There were Travelgate and Fostergate and umpteen more,
Filegate and Chinagate (with help from Al Gore),
Pardongate and other -gates – who can even keep score?
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

In the Senate and at State, there was more of the same:
Trading favors for financing has always been her aim.
For disasters like Bengazi, she refused to take the blame,
Emailgate’s the latest and she acts like it’s a game.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

She will speak in phony accents ’cause she likes to condescend,
She just uses everybody and has never had a friend,
She deserves to be in prison and that’s where her life should end,
How she expects to be the president is too hard to comprehend.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!
(2016)

Last week’s limerick

BROKE IN CHINA
Though they say that we owe them much debt,
They discount intellectual theft:
Just subtract what they stole,
We’ll be paid up in whole –
With a deficit due from them left.

  • Aug 31 / 2015
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Your Weekly Politickle: HOW SPECIAL

howspecial

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

HOW SPECIAL
Rules applied to the masses and not them,
But their hubris eventually got them:
First fell Spitzer, then Weiner,
And now somebody meaner –
The Belle of Benghazi, Ms. Rodham.

From the archive

SENSE OF HUMA
“If your husband is horny like Bill,
You should pose as the good wife like Hill.
Do whatever you must
To regain public trust:
Once in office, then do what you will.”
(2013)

WEINER DOES SINATRA
I’ve got the world on a screen,
I’m tweeting with a co-ed,
Got a thing about my weiner –
What a word! Where’s my wife? I’m enlarged.

I’ve got a shot that I send,
It’ll make her brain blow,
Or, again, it might offend her –
Lusty me! Can’t you see? I’m enlarged.

Wife’s a wonderful thing
As long as I have my flings.
I’d be a really stupid schmo
If I should ever let her know.
(2011)

MISTWEETED
Little Anthony had to get meaner,
Being hung with a handle like Weiner,
Having always his surname
Being used as a slur name:
Could cognomens be any obscener?
(2011)

CRAFT PRODUCT
Oh, you ought to get an oscar, “Mayor” Weiner,
For the explanation of your tweet,
But I doubt you’ll get an oscar, “Mayor” Weiner,
Or even keep your legislative seat.
(2011)

AL GORGE
If a human is hungry for strudel,
He can get some by using his noodle,
But his quest for confection
May result in rejection
If he paws like a poor, crazed sex poodle.
(2010)

SPITZER
“New York State Attorney General” rang fine,
“New York Governor” sounded divine,
And yet even more eminent
Would have been “U.S. President”
– But, instead, he is now “Number 9.”
(2008)

INCOMMODE
See how swiftly the mighty do fall
And their bigness become very small:
Get a little too noisy
While you’re cruising for Boise
And you’ll find your career in a stall.
(2007)

BIRDS OF A FEATHER
In both Parties you’ll find creep and crank,
Even some who are thoroughly rank,
But Republicans wholly
Have disavowed Foley,
While the Democrats laud Barney Frank.
(2006)

MISS KOPECHNE REGRETS
“Though I’ll miss your grand tribute to Ted,
I’ll be with you in spirit instead
As you strive to deny
That grave night in July
When he swam off and left me for dead.”
(2004)

ZOMBIES
From justice they craftily fled
And avoided the sanctions they dread;
Now O.J. and Bill
Can linger at will
In the night of the fast-living dead.
(2001)

MR. PRECEDENT
What a vile conglomeration
Of every abomination:
In Clinton’s wake,
Only villains will make
A bid for the nomination.
(1999)

WEENIE ROAST
In Congress there’s many a crank,
And a few who belong in the tank,
But leading the race
As a public disgrace
Is the Honorable Barney Frank!
(1998)

AKA
Nelson, Luciano, Capone
All had nicknames uniquely their own.
In Bill Clinton’s case,
You can bet “Cigarface”
Is the moniker by which he’ll be known!
(1998)

SO THAT’S WHAT YOU CALL IT!
She was flattered he found her appealing,
But preferred that he be less revealing.
Bill tried to explain
He was feeling her pain,
But Paula knew what he was feeling!
(1998)

HILLARY’S CONVICTION
The First Lady’s a post-modern wife
In responding to marital strife:
She’ll stand by her man
As long as she can,
‘Cause it’s better than “20 to Life.”
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

WORST FIRSTS
All those firsts were considered quite foreign
‘Til the day we ostensibly swore in
The first Catholic, Jack,
The first black man, Barack,
The first Native American, Warren.

  • Aug 17 / 2015
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Your Weekly Politickle: CLINTONEMAIL.COMEDY

clintonemail.comedy

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

CLINTONEMAIL.COMEDY
“You’ll hand over your emails, complete,
Without further delay or deceit.”
“Oh, please, don’t have a cow:
I’m compiling them now –
Oops! I’m sorry, I just hit ‘delete.’”

From the archive

NOT DOT GOV
You’d expect a felonious female
Not to want to mail mail the way we mail,
Not to follow the rules
Like the rest of us fools,
And to have her own personal email.
(2015)

BELLE OF BENGHAZI
The worst candidates money can buy
Are the ones psychopathically sly,
So inherently truthless,
Self-absorbedly ruthless
They don’t care when their countrymen die
(2014)

HILLARITY
“Though she’s ugly, dishonest, and mean,
Just the wickedest witch ever seen,
She’s the best that we’ve got,
So let’s give her a shot
And elect her in Twenty-Sixteen.”
(2013)

HILL OF BEANS
“Oh, for goodness sake:
I made a little mistake!
So I lied and lied
And people died:
What difference does it make?”
(2013)

Last week’s limerick

TRUMP CARD
When a pol from a party’s defected
And a third-party bid is expected,
You can bet the turncoat
Will just split up the vote
And ensure the opposition’s elected.

  • Mar 16 / 2015
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Your Weekly Politickle: CHEATER

cheater

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

CHEATER
The way she plays this game is unique,
When it’s her turn to count she will peek,
When you find where she’s hidden
She insists that you didn’t:
That’s how Hillary plays Hide & Seek.

From the archive

THE POLITICS OF
PERSONAL CONSTRUCTION
“I brought Belfast the peace they desire
And in Bosnia dodged sniper fire!
I’m impossibly grand
And cannot understand
Why I’m called an incorrigible liar!”
(2008)

THE RULES
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
(2007)

NO EXCEPTIONS
The rule of law, don’t you see,
Is the essence of liberty
And freedom will end
When leaders pretend
“The rules don’t apply to me.”
(2000)

Last week’s limerick

NOT DOT GOV
You’d expect a felonious female
Not to want to mail mail the way we mail,
Not to follow the rules
Like the rest of us fools,
And to have her own personal email.

  • Mar 09 / 2015
  • 0
Uncategorized

Your Weekly Politickle: NOT DOT GOV

notdotgov

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

NOT DOT GOV
You’d expect a felonious female
Not to want to mail mail the way we mail,
Not to follow the rules
Like the rest of us fools,
And to have her own personal email.

From the archive

BELLE OF BENGHAZI
The worst candidates money can buy
Are the ones psychopathically sly,
So inherently truthless,
Self-absorbedly ruthless
They don’t care when their countrymen die
(2014)

HILLARITY
“Though she’s ugly, dishonest, and mean,
Just the wickedest witch ever seen,
She’s the best that we’ve got,
So let’s give her a shot
And elect her in Twenty-Sixteen.”
(2013)

HILL OF BEANS
“Oh, for goodness sake:
I made a little mistake!
So I lied and lied
And people died:
What difference does it make?”
(2013)

Last week’s limerick

ALIENATED
Are you from here or some other spot?
Is there something that you haven’t got?
Do you feel no emotion?
Do you lack all devotion?
Do you love this great nation or not?

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