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Posts Tagged / Hillary Clinton

  • Oct 24 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: WHY? WHY? WHY?

why_why_why_

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WHY? WHY? WHY?
“Is it all the untrue things I’ve said?
Is it that I look more than half-dead?
That I’m guilty of treason,
Could that be the reason?
Is that why I am not way ahead?”

From the archive

BALLAD OF HILL’RY CLINTON

[to the tune of Davy Crockett]

Married to the governor of Arkansas,
Saw herself and him as above the law.
How that First Lady would scratch and claw
To get some filthy lucre in her grubby paws!
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

At Madison Guaranty Savings & Loan,
The McDougals did their best to throw her a bone.
Everyone went to prison, ‘cept Bill and her alone.
“Whitewatergate” is how that scandal’s known.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

When she got to the White House, there were scandals galore:
There were Travelgate and Fostergate and umpteen more,
Filegate and Chinagate (with help from Al Gore),
Pardongate and other -gates – who can even keep score?
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

In the Senate and at State, there was more of the same:
Trading favors for financing has always been her aim.
For disasters like Bengazi, she refused to take the blame,
Emailgate’s the latest and she acts like it’s a game.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

She will speak in phony accents ’cause she likes to condescend,
She just uses everybody and has never had a friend,
She deserves to be in prison and that’s where her life should end,
How she expects to be the president is too hard to comprehend.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!
(2016)

Last week’s limerick

PERFECT!
Aren’t elitist Republicans quaint?
They’re offended by his unrestraint?
The alternative’s worse,
But to him they’re averse?
Choose a devil ’cause Trump’s not a saint?

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  • Oct 17 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: PERFECT!

perfect

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

PERFECT!
Aren’t elitist Republicans quaint?
They’re offended by his unrestraint?
The alternative’s worse,
But to him they’re averse?
Choose a devil ’cause Trump’s not a saint?

From the archive

MANIA
“That corrupt and incompetent frump
Or that slovenly socialist grump?
Either one would be better
Than a genuine go-getter:
We must do what we can to stop Trump!”
(2016)

DIS ESTABLISHMENT
Bush and Dole and Bush again?
Romney after John McCain?
Reagan and Trump,
You tried to dump?
Grand Old Party, please explain.
(2016)

HOPELESS
They elected a black Forrest Gump,
Whom world leaders dismissed as a chump,
By this churl they were charmed,
Now they say they’re alarmed
At the prospect of President Trump!
(2016)

RINOPLASTY
“If you don’t want your votes cast in vain,
Then wash Newt, Rick, and Ron down the drain;
Accept candidate Romney
As the mandated nominee:
Be consoled with a clone of McCain!”
(2012)

TEATOTALERS
Having taken it on the chin,
All the RINOs are packing it in:
They’d rather abstain
Than actively deign
To help Tea Party candidates win.
(2010)

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST
Having rendered himself indistinct,
A Republican candidate finked,
And we now can take Crist
Off the endangered list,
‘Cause this RINO’s already extinct.
(2010)

Last week’s limerick

A-NOT-HER
If for no other principled reason,
In this present electoral season
With two candidates who
Are repugnant to you,
Choose the one who’s not guilty of treason.

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  • Oct 10 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: A-NOT-HER

a-not-her

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

A-NOT-HER
If for no other principled reason,
In this present electoral season
With two candidates who
Are repugnant to you,
Choose the one who’s not guilty of treason.

Lagniappe

BALLAD OF HILL’RY CLINTON*

Married to the governor of Arkansas,
Saw herself and him as above the law.
How that First Lady would scratch and claw
To get some filthy lucre in her grubby paws!
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

At Madison Guaranty Savings & Loan,
The McDougals did their best to throw her a bone.
Everyone went to prison, ‘cept Bill and her alone.
“Whitewatergate” is how that scandal’s known.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

When she got to the White House, there were scandals galore:
There were Travelgate and Fostergate and umpteen more,
Filegate and Chinagate (with help from Al Gore),
Pardongate and other -gates – who can even keep score?
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

In the Senate and at State, there was more of the same:
Trading favors for financing has always been her aim.
For disasters like Bengazi, she refused to take the blame,
Emailgate’s the latest and she acts like it’s a game.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

She will speak in phony accents ’cause she likes to condescend,
She just uses everybody and has never had a friend,
She deserves to be in prison and that’s where her life should end,
How she expects to be the president is too hard to comprehend.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

*to the tune of “Davy Crockett”

Last week’s limerick

ORGANIZED FOR ACTION
Want some protesters at the mall?
Need to rig an election this fall?
Whatever the job,
The Obamaphone Mob
Is now waiting to take your call.

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  • Jul 25 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: RESET

reset

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

RESET
Out of date is the slogan some blithering
Adman proposed to a dithering,
Truth-noncompliant
Dolt of a client:
“I’m With Her” should be changed to “I’m Withering.”

From the archive

CLUELESS
Says she’s just like y’all and youse,
Says she shares your stupid views:
Either Hillary’s tight
Or not very bright,
‘Cause the Empress has no clues.
(2015)

JOKE
Hillary’s running again, have you heard?
Nomination is hers, that’s the word.
We could get in a pother,
But why even bother?
The woman’s completely absurd.
(2014)

RUN FOR THE ROSE GARDEN
In her desperate bid for the crown,
She has found herself trailing Big Brown;
At the end of the race
Looms a lame second place
And the prospect of being put down.
(2008)

THE END
Though I’m no Clinton fan, I do find,
As support for his wife has declined,
That I’m actually beginning
To wish she were winning,
‘Cause I can’t stand to see her behind.
(2008)

RERUN FOR PRESIDENT
“Now at last is my destiny reached!”
Mrs. Megalomaniac screeched,
And follow she will
In the footsteps of Bill
When a Clinton again is impeached.
(2008)

TAILSPIN
She knew that she would win,
But she took it on the chin;
Now she’s lost the crown
And she’s spiraling down,
Still believing in her own spin.
(2008)

INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN
On a fantasy Hillary fed
‘Til reality reared its huge head:
As her poll numbers drop,
She will have to close shop
And admit that her life’s dream is dead.
(2007)

HILL’RY REDNECK CLINTON
“Hoosiers, hillbillies, dis is yer year!
Rednecks, crackers, doan be afeard!
Shucks! Gosh! an’ Dang!
Doanchu jes love mah twang?
Git yer fust lady prezdent rat cheer!”
(2007)

Last week’s limerick

ARMS & THE MANDATE
What the Second Amendment defends
Is a right on which all else depends:
To resist subjugation
Of ourselves and our nation
And live free as our Maker intends.

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  • Jun 20 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: $PEECHE$

$peeche$

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

$PEECHE$
She’s about as exciting as clay
And has nothing of interest to say,
But the muckety-mucks
Give her millions of bucks
‘Cause they know that they must pay to play.

Lagniappe

POP QUIZ
“It’s the second time now that you’ve had
To miss school for the death of your dad.
Did he die more than once?
Do you think I’m a dunce?”
“Losing two fathers, so far, is so sad.”

Last week’s limerick

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
If she happens to win, what then?
Where will Hillary be sworn in?
Will she be inaugurated
Where she’s incarcerated:
In her cell in a federal pen?

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  • Feb 22 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: BOOB

boob

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

BOOB
Knowledge of basic facts she neglects,
Truth and logic she simply rejects:
She went to the Academy
Of the Female Anatomy
And will vote on the basis of sex.

From the archive

TRANSFORMER
It was destiny, she knew it
And was certain she could do it:
Be the one to set precedent
As the first woman president,
But Obama beat her to it.
(2014)

Last week’s limerick

BERN, BABY, BERN!
If you’re fired up by someone who panders
To ignorant, idle demanders,
Then place your hope
In a misanthrope:
The self-avowed socialist Sanders.

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  • Feb 01 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: SAP

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

sap

SAP
Special Access Programs compromised?
Covert agents exposed, jeopardized?
One so reckless and dumb
Would be sure to become
A commander-in-chief neutralized.

From the archive

SET UP
What did Stevens really know?
What dark dealings could he show?
Was he starting to balk?
Was he threatening to talk?
Why did Stevens have to go?!
(2015)

CLINTONEMAIL.COMEDY
“You’ll hand over your emails, complete,
Without further delay or deceit.”
“Oh, please, don’t have a cow:
I’m compiling them now –
Oops! I’m sorry, I just hit ‘delete.’”
(2015)

NOT DOT GOV
You’d expect a felonious female
Not to want to mail mail the way we mail,
Not to follow the rules
Like the rest of us fools,
And to have her own personal email.
(2015)

BELLE OF BENGHAZI
The worst candidates money can buy
Are the ones psychopathically sly,
So inherently truthless,
Self-absorbedly ruthless
They don’t care when their countrymen die
(2014)

“DID I DO THAT?”
When the blood of Seals is spilled,
U.S. border agents killed,
And our boys in Benghazi
Become kamikaze,
We must ask by whom it’s willed.
(2013)

HILL OF BEANS
“Oh, for goodness sake:
I made a little mistake!
So I lied and lied
And people died:
What difference does it make?”
(2013)

Last week’s limerick

PARSED LIPS
When he’s asked to define what the crisis is,
This man who is known for his vices is
Compelled to resort
To a proven retort:
“It depends what the meaning of ISIS is.”

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  • Jan 25 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: PARSED LIPS

parsedlips

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

PARSED LIPS
When he’s asked to define what the crisis is,
This man who is known for his vices is
Compelled to resort
To a proven retort:
“It depends what the meaning of ISIS is.”

From the archive

LIVING HYSTERIA
Since no one’s been able to spot him,
It’s safe to assume that we got him;
Though we’ve cooked Laden’s goose,
There’s a nut on the loose:
Hillary “Osama bin” Rodham!
(2003)

Last week’s limerick

CRYING GAME
When he wants to, Obama can cry,
But you won’t see a drop in his eye –
No, he won’t shed a tear –
For the million each year
Of babies aborted who die.

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  • Oct 26 / 2015
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Your Weekly Politickle: SET UP

setup

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SET UP
What did Stevens really know?
What dark dealings could he show?
Was he starting to balk?
Was he threatening to talk?
Why did Stevens have to go?

From the archive

CLINTONEMAIL.COMEDY
“You’ll hand over your emails, complete,
Without further delay or deceit.”
“Oh, please, don’t have a cow:
I’m compiling them now –
Oops! I’m sorry, I just hit ‘delete.’”
(2015)

NOT DOT GOV
You’d expect a felonious female
Not to want to mail mail the way we mail,
Not to follow the rules
Like the rest of us fools,
And to have her own personal email.
(2015)

BELLE OF BENGHAZI
The worst candidates money can buy
Are the ones psychopathically sly,
So inherently truthless,
Self-absorbedly ruthless
They don’t care when their countrymen die
(2014)

“DID I DO THAT?”
When the blood of Seals is spilled,
U.S. border agents killed,
And our boys in Benghazi
Become kamikaze,
We must ask by whom it’s willed.
(2013)

HILL OF BEANS
“Oh, for goodness sake:
I made a little mistake!
So I lied and lied
And people died:
What difference does it make?”
(2013)

Last week’s limerick

THE QUESTION
“Ophelia, come and see.
Is this the place for me?
My predicament,
An apartment to rent:
2B or not 2B?”

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  • May 11 / 2015
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Your Weekly Politickle: CASHIFIED INFORMATION

cashified

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

CASHIFIED INFORMATION
“For accelerated authorization
With regard to above application:
To ensure I approve you,
It might well behoove you
To kick in to my family foundation.”

From the archive

WICKED
Through years the graft extends
And favors for their “friends”:
They plundered like Vandals,
Now Hillary’s scandals
Are burning at both ends.
(2015)

From the Clinton archive (1996-2000)

BILL IN A CHINA SHOP
Campaign prospects are more sunny
When the coffer’s full of money.
Leave it to Bill
To fill the till
With money that is funny!

BILL PAYING
Pardon him, pardon her, pardon you.
Pardon everyone Bill ever knew.
There’s no need to be frugal:
Pardon Hubbell, McDougall,
Pardon Gore, pardon Hillary too!

CLINTONIAN DIPLOMACY
“We’ll supply whatsoever you need
To ensure your armed forces succeed,
And we won’t make a fuss
If you use them on us,
‘Cause our sole motivation is greed.

RIADY OR NOT, HERE WE COME!
“Though funds that the DNC spent
Did arise in the Orient,
Our designs are disputable,
Lippo’s motives inscrutable —
Can you prove that we’re not innocent?”

Last week’s limerick

CLUELESS
Says she’s just like y’all and youse,
Says she shares your stupid views:
Either Hillary’s tight
Or not very bright,
‘Cause the Empress has no clues.

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