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Posts Tagged / global warming hoax

  • Jun 08 / 2015
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Your Weekly Politickle: LOBO WARNING

lobowarming

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

LOBO WARNING
When Al Junior first raised the alarm,
Some believed there might be some real harm,
But they found out he’d lied
And, the next time he tried,
They just tuned out the boy who cried, “Warm!”

From the archive

FAITH IN GORE
“All you skeptics who try to besmirch
Our beliefs will be left in the lurch
As we celebrate dearth
And increase our net worth
At St. Albert Gore’s Climate Change Church.”
(2011)

WARMAGEDDON
In the end and come what might,
Climate changers may be right:
In the depths of hell,
Where such liars dwell,
Things can get real hot all right!
(2010)

GLOBAL LIES
Global warming was always in doubt,
But they pushed it with all of their clout:
If those climate-change crooks
Really cooked all the books,
Then what else were we lied to about?
(2009)

CAP’N TRADE
“Here I come to save the day!
Everyone will have to pay!
I will pull a switch
That will make me rich
As my stock goes up and away!”
(2009)

SCIENCE SAYS
“Science says beware because
Now it’s warmer than it was.
Just listen to me
And you’ll agree:
Science says what I say it does.”
(2009)

GAG
The dry wit of George Gobel was charming,
But its after effects are alarming:
When we laugh ’til we’re blue,
We release CO2
And contribute to dread “Gobel Warming.”
(2007)

INSIDER TRADING
Do delusions of warming derange
And compel poor Al Gore to act strange?
No, the reason he’s fishin’
For those caps on emission
Is his stock in the carbon exchange.
(2007)

HOTHEAD
Has Al Gore taken too many tokes
On that strange cigarette that he smokes?
Still, the burden of proof
Is on every green goof
Who espouses the climate-change hoax.
(2007)

AN INCONSISTENT BOOB, CONT.
“If superior beings ignore
Certain limits and use a bit more,
Then the peons, I guess,
Will just have to use less,”
Sniffed a gluttonous, glutinous Gore.
(2007)

HOT HEADS
They defend climate change willy-nilly,
And lately they’ve gotten plain silly:
Saying snow, ice, and sleet
Must be caused by the heat –
And that’s why the weather’s so chilly.
(2007)

SNOW DOUBT
As a theory it’s cheesily charming,
Except when the neighborhood’s swarming
With snow, sleet, and ice
From unfair Fahrenheits,
And we’re longing for real global warming.
(2006)

MOWER LESS
While it has been unreasonably hot,
And I do tend to wish it were not,
I am glad to save gas
By not cutting the grass,
’Cause there’s none on my shriveled-up lot.
(2006)

AN INCONSISTENT BOOB
Al Gore worries the world’s getting hot,
And all over the globe he will trot,
Warmly warning the masses
About grave greenhouse gases
Caused by people who travel a lot.
(2006)

HEAT RASHNESS
Every Spring they start their swarming
And fantastical alarming,
Fearing and oh-dearing
That the end is nearing,
’Cause it’s April and it’s warming.
(2006)

WARM MONGERS
Alarmists like to heighten
Anxieties and frighten –
Their aim’s made clear
In State of Fear
By author Michael Crichton.
(2006)

ABATED BREATH
Whether sickly or healthy and hale,
We object when the air gets too stale,
But what shall we do
When they ban CO2
And deny us the right to exhale?
(2001)

TRUTH IN THE BALANCE
The temperature’s not getting higher.
Our environmental future’s not dire.
With the best yet to come,
There’s no need to be glum:
Al Gore, you’re an ozone liar!
(2000)

CHICKEN LITTLE
Doomsday deadlines bear recalling
When they’ve passed and we’re not sprawling:
If dreaded fate
Is running late,
Then perhaps the sky’s not falling.
(2000)

EMISSION IMPOSSIBLE
We’re faced with a problem that’s prickly.
We’d better do something, and quickly.
Forget the suspicions
About greenhouse emissions:
It’s the wind from the White House that’s sickly.
(1999)

VICTIMLESS CLIME
The penguin complained, “It’s too hot!”
The hippo replied, “No, it’s not!”
The gator, when polled,
Insisted, “Too cold!”
And the polar bear grumbled, “What rot!”
(1998)

THINK GULLIBLY, ACT LOCO-LY
The temperature rose in July
Compared to December, quite high.
It’s really alarming
This “seasonal warming.”
Oh, lordy, we’re all gonna fry!
(1997)

Last week’s limerick

POLICE, COME BACK!
“When the “protesting” finally stops
And the fires have died down in the shops,
We’ll be too scared to roam
In what’s left of our home
And we’ll wish we could bring back the cops.”

  • Nov 25 / 2011
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Gobbler Warming

Fan Fraudster on FB!

 

Three themes are emerging from the newly released emails: (1) prominent scientists central to the global warming debate are taking measures to conceal rather than disseminate underlying data and discussions; (2) these scientists view global warming as a political “cause” rather than a balanced scientific inquiry; and (3) many of these scientists frankly admit to each other that much of the science is weak and dependent on deliberate manipulation of facts and data. – Forbes.com

We’ll be heating and eating leftovers today — and thanking God for the continuing exposure of the turkeys behind the global warming/climate change hoax.

Faith in Gore

Tea Time, Episode 11: Environmental Impact

  • Sep 20 / 2011
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Your Weekly Politickle: FAITH IN GORE

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

FAITH IN GORE
“All you skeptics who try to besmirch
Our beliefs will be left in the lurch
As we celebrate dearth
And increase our net worth
At St. Albert Gore’s Climate Change Church.”

From the archive:

WARMAGEDDON
In the end and come what might,
Climate changers may be right:
In the depths of hell,
Where such liars dwell,
Things can get real hot all right!
(2010)

Fraudster the Snowman

Last week’s limerick:

FIFTH COLUMN
Our brave battle for self-preservation
Must address the domestic predation
Of those traitors and fools
– All those socialist tools –
Who are hoping to change our great nation.

  • Feb 02 / 2011
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The Guy Never Lets Up!

Last week on his show Bill O’Reilly asked, “Why has southern New York turned into the tundra?” and then said he had a call into me. I appreciate the question.

As it turns out, the scientific community has been addressing this particular question for some time now and they say that increased heavy snowfalls are completely consistent with what they have been predicting as a consequence of man-made global warming. – Al Gore (The Fraudster Himself)

Fraudster

Fraudster the Snowman

by F.R. Duplantier

Fraudster the Snowman
Was an enterprising pol,
With a trust-fund life
And an upturned nose
And a heart made out of coal.

Fraudster the Snowman
Was a senator, they say.
He was made of snow,
But the voters know
How he came to life one day.

There must have been some magic in
Those tight blue jeans they found,
For when they placed them on his legs
He began to dance around.

O, Fraudster the Snowman
Found a way to live for free.
While the people pay,
He could laugh and play
And drive around in an SUV.

Huffedy humbug,
Huffedy humbug,
Look at Fraudster go.
Huffedy humbug,
Huffedy humbug,
O the bilge of snow!

Fraudster the Snowman
Knew the sun was hot some days,
So he said, “I’ll hoax
All the stupid folks
And get myself a big pay raise.”

Down to the village,
With a hockey stick in hand
And some bogus graphs
And some doctored stats,
Showing crisis for the land.

He led them to his Waterloo,
Where the facts came out at last,
But he never once admitted that
He was just plain full of crap.

For Fraudster the Snowman
Liked to always have his way,
So he waved goodbye
Saying, “Don’t deny,
I’ll be back again some day.”

Huffedy humbug,
Huffedy humbug,
Look at Fraudster go.
Huffedy humbug,
Huffedy humbug,
O the bilge of snow!

Join the Fraudster the Snowman Fan Club on Facebook.

  • Jul 19 / 2010
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Your Weekly Politickle: CLIMATE EXCHANGE

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

CLIMATE EXCHANGE
I will trade you the Springtime in Spain
For the Autumn in Southern Ukraine,
And the Summer in Mali
For the Winter in Bali –
Plus September in Alsace-Lorraine.

From the archive:

VICTIMLESS CLIME
The penguin complained, “It’s too hot!”
The hippo replied, “No, it’s not!”
The gator, when polled,
Insisted, “Too cold!”
And the polar bear grumbled, “What rot!”
(1998)

Last week’s limerick:

BAD SAMARITANS
When a brother has wandered astray,
Those who love him will show him the way;
Those who follow the fashion
Of corrupted compassion
Will assure him his sin is okay.

  • May 05 / 2010
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How Do You Exchange Climates?

While senators froth over Goldman Sachs and derivatives, a climate trading scheme being run out of the Chicago Climate Exchange would make Bernie Madoff blush. Its trail leads to the White House. – IBD Editorial

I grew up in New Orleans, where the summers are too hot but the winters are mild. In my thirties, I lived in Wisconsin, where the winters are too cold but the summers are mild. In my forties, I moved to St. Louis and thought I’d have the best of both climates: mild summers and mild winters. Instead, I got the worst of both. Where do I go to trade the climate I have for the one I want?

  • Apr 05 / 2010
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Your Weekly Politickle: WARMAGEDDON

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

WARMAGEDDON
In the end and come what might,
Climate changers may be right:
In the depths of hell,
Where such liars dwell,
Things can get real hot all right!

From the archive:

HOLY WEEK
So begins the passion play:
Evil triumphs for a day,
But Friday’s cross
Redeems our loss
And confirms us in the Way.
(2009)

NATIVITY
Tell me how can an innocent Child –
Holy Infant, so tender and mild –
Be the object of scorn
From the moment He’s born:
Rejected, resented, reviled?
(2005)

MEA CULPA
How fully prim piety fails
And scarcely scapegoating avails
When I add my own ration
To Christ’s frightful passion
And with my hands help drive in the nails.
(2004)

PASSION
Critics say it’s a judgmental story
With scenes that are overly gory,
But that’s what you’re liable
To read in the Bible
Of sacrifice leading to glory.
(2003)

P.C. (POST CHRISTIAN)
The other children teased her
For being a faithful feaster:
When the pagan takes
His seasonal breaks,
She celebrates Christmas and Easter.
(2002)

BASKET CASE
My obesity just isn’t funny
And I’m suing for bundles of money:
When a basket of candy
Is too full and too handy,
Who’s to blame but the old Easter Bunny?
(2005)

Last week’s verse:

CANDY MAN
What can make the pain grow, essential care deny,
Snuff out everyone and make the gurneys pile up high?
ObamaCare, ObamaCare can.
ObamaCare can ’cause it nixes right to life and makes the world less full.

  • Mar 04 / 2010
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Gore Puts the Al in Altruism

Click on me, everyone!

As he was whipping up hysteria over climate change, Gore cannily invested in “green” firms that stood to profit in the hundreds of millions of dollars (if not more) from increased government regulations and sweetheart deals from connected politicians and bureaucrats. The multimillionaire climate dilettante was given a free pass by reporters, who refused to ask him hard questions about the degree to which he was profiting from the panic he was causing. – Washington Times

The absence of a legally binding global climate deal and a federal emissions trading scheme in the United States are standing in the way of the market in global emissions trading growing to achieve yearly turnover of $2 trillion by 2020. – Reuters

INSIDER TRADING
Do delusions of warming derange
And compel poor Al Gore to act strange?
No, the reason he’s fishin’
For those caps on emission
Is his stock in the carbon exchange.
(F.R. Duplantier, 2007)

  • Mar 03 / 2010
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Speaking of Gasbags . . .

A Swedish entrepreneur is trying to market and sell a biodegradable plastic bag that acts as a single-use toilet for urban slums in the developing world. – NY Times

The solutions to the world’s problems are found by entrepreneurs, not by government bureaucrats and posturing fools like Al Gore and Barack Obama.

Here’s another brilliant solution from the private sector. And another. Sheer genius.

Gore and Obama and the rest of the totalitarian poseurs should shut up and get out of the way.

Maybe the Swede will develop a bag for disposing of toxic politicians.

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