Politickles

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

FAST FORWARD
I remember with special delight
How each holiday had its own rite:
Now that commerce trumps living,
We skip over Thanksgiving
And start Christmas on Halloween night.

From the archive:

CHARGE!
At Thanksgiving we pull out the stopper
On commercialized Christmastime proper:
We’ll have six months to pay,
But stay out of the way
Of the stampeding psychotic shopper!
(2008)

$MAS
There is less than a month left, you know,
Only 21 days in a row,
Barely 500 hours
To buy yours, mine, and ours,
30,000 mere minutes to go!
(2007)

DECK THE GALS
“Merry Christmas!” she crowed, and then smiled,
Leaving less seasoned shoppers beguiled.
“Now get out of my way
‘Cause I don’t have all day
And I must have that toy for my child!”
(2005)

Last week’s limerick:

DRESS CODE
We showed up in our holiday best,
With the exception of one honored guest,
So the dinner was late
And we all had to wait
Because “Tom” was not properly dressed.

Christmas is much more than the season of Santa Claus and sugar plums; it’s God’s answer to mankind’s yearning for peace, says Benedict XVI. – Zenit

Let’s have fun celebrating, but leave not a doubt that Christ is what Christmas is really about! — “A Visit from the Christ Child,” F.R. Duplantier

If people do not recognize that God was made man, what is the point of celebrating Christmas? The celebration becomes empty. We Christians must first reaffirm the truth about the Birth of Christ with deep and heartfelt conviction, in order to witness to all the awareness of an unprecedented gift which is not only a treasure for us but for everyone. — Benedict XVI

Viva il papa!

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

FRONT TEETH
“Thanta, there’th a thpaith
I’d like you to replaith:
I’ll jump with glee
When all can thee
The thmile upon my faith.”

Archive:

EVER PRESENT
All the creches are empty, it’s true,
And I’m waiting for Jesus anew;
Harking back to the Book,
I know now where to look:
I must find the Lord Jesus in you.
(2007)

MERI KURISUMASU
If you find “Frohliche Weihnachten” odd,
“Buon Natale” and “Feliz Navidad,”
Even “Joyeux Noel”
Unfamiliar as well,
“Merry Christmas” should then get the nod.
(2006)

NATIVITY
Tell me how can an innocent Child —
Holy Infant, so tender and mild —
Be the object of scorn
From the moment He’s born:
Rejected, resented, reviled?
(2005)

CLAUSTROPHOBIA
Is there somewhere I can go
That the Santas do not know,
A Santa-free zone
I can call my own
And not hear that “ho ho ho”?
(2005)

YULE GET OVER IT
So what if you feel disempowered
By someone who’s grimaced or glowered?
If you’re frightened to say
“Merry Christmas” today,
You’re simply a Noel coward!
(2004)

MERRY CHRISTMAS, BEDFORD FALLS!
He’s known plenty of struggle and strife,
But George Bailey is blessed with a wife
And family and friends
On whom he depends:
What he has is a wonderful life.
(2002)

KILLJOY
Who but a hardhearted heathen
For some nefarious reason
Would ignore the morn
When our Savior was born
And call Christmas the “holiday season”?
(2002)

Last week’s limerick:

NAUGHTY
“I know just what I want for a gift,
And I’ll throw such a fit if I’m stiffed!
If you fail to come through,
Who knows what I might do?”
The pathetic executive sniffed.

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

NAUGHTY
“I know just what I want for a gift,
And I’ll throw such a fit if I’m stiffed!
If you fail to come through,
Who knows what I might do?”
The pathetic executive sniffed.

Archive:

I OF THE STORM
William Jefferson struggled to hide
Every trace of his larcenous side,
While Katrina touched down
And destroyed the whole town
And constituents suffered and died.
(2006)

IDENTITY OF VICTIM MISTAKEN
“While Congress just sits there and fidgets,
We’ve got losses in high double digits:
We’ll never come back
From the terror attack
Without federal support for our widgets.”
(2001)

Last week’s limerick:

CHARGE!
At Thanksgiving we pull out the stopper
On commercialized Christmastime proper:
We’ll have six months to pay,
But stay out of the way
Of the stampeding psychotic shopper!

I’ve discovered something better than a diet. You see, it’s not the extra weight I mind so much; it’s the way other people react to it that bothers me: the look of horror in the eyes of friends and relatives seeing me for the first time in many years, the sudden gasps they give out like the floor’s just fallen away beneath them. — “Something Better than a Diet,” F.R. Duplantier

Put on a little weight at Thanksgiving? Expecting to put on even more during the Christmas holidays? Resolving to take it off during the new year? Thinking about trying the latest weight-loss craze?

Quit kidding yourself. It’ll never work. The less you eat, the hungrier you’ll get — and then you’ll eat even more and get even fatter. So, forget about dieting and try my amazing plan instead.

If your objective in dieting is not to lose weight but to make a statement, my thematic diets may appeal to you.

Ah, the madness of vulgarized Christmas! Disgusting, isn’t it? Jesus threw the money changers out of the temple. It’s up to us to rescue Christmas from the merchants.

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

CHARGE!
At Thanksgiving we pull out the stopper
On commercialized Christmastime proper:
We’ll have six months to pay,
But stay out of the way
Of the stampeding psychotic shopper!

Archive:

$MAS
There is less than a month left, you know,
Only 21 days in a row,
Barely 500 hours
To buy yours, mine, and ours,
30,000 mere minutes to go!
(2007)

DECK THE GALS
“Merry Christmas!” she crowed, and then smiled,
Leaving less seasoned shoppers beguiled.
“Now get out of my way
‘Cause I don’t have all day
And I must have that toy for my child!”
(2005)

Last week’s limerick:

OOH LA LA!
A fried turkey injected with spice,
Shrimp-stuffed mirlitons and dirty rice,
Pecan pie, oyster dressing –
How we rush through the blessing!
Yes, a Creole Thanksgiving is nice.