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  • Oct 17 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: PERFECT!

perfect

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

PERFECT!
Aren’t elitist Republicans quaint?
They’re offended by his unrestraint?
The alternative’s worse,
But to him they’re averse?
Choose a devil ’cause Trump’s not a saint?

From the archive

MANIA
“That corrupt and incompetent frump
Or that slovenly socialist grump?
Either one would be better
Than a genuine go-getter:
We must do what we can to stop Trump!”
(2016)

DIS ESTABLISHMENT
Bush and Dole and Bush again?
Romney after John McCain?
Reagan and Trump,
You tried to dump?
Grand Old Party, please explain.
(2016)

HOPELESS
They elected a black Forrest Gump,
Whom world leaders dismissed as a chump,
By this churl they were charmed,
Now they say they’re alarmed
At the prospect of President Trump!
(2016)

RINOPLASTY
“If you don’t want your votes cast in vain,
Then wash Newt, Rick, and Ron down the drain;
Accept candidate Romney
As the mandated nominee:
Be consoled with a clone of McCain!”
(2012)

TEATOTALERS
Having taken it on the chin,
All the RINOs are packing it in:
They’d rather abstain
Than actively deign
To help Tea Party candidates win.
(2010)

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST
Having rendered himself indistinct,
A Republican candidate finked,
And we now can take Crist
Off the endangered list,
‘Cause this RINO’s already extinct.
(2010)

Last week’s limerick

A-NOT-HER
If for no other principled reason,
In this present electoral season
With two candidates who
Are repugnant to you,
Choose the one who’s not guilty of treason.

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  • Oct 12 / 2016
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Queen of the Racketeers!

Ballad of Hill’ry Clinton

by F.R. Duplantier

[to the tune of Davy Crockett]

Married to the governor of Arkansas,
Saw herself and him as above the law.
How that First Lady would scratch and claw
To get some filthy lucre in her grubby paws!
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

At Madison Guaranty Savings & Loan,
The McDougals did their best to throw her a bone.
Everyone went to prison, ‘cept Bill and her alone.
“Whitewatergate” is how that scandal’s known.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

When she got to the White House, there were scandals galore:
There were Travelgate and Fostergate and umpteen more,
Filegate and Chinagate (with help from Al Gore),
Pardongate and other -gates – who can even keep score?
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

In the Senate and at State, there was more of the same:
Trading favors for financing has always been her aim.
For disasters like Bengazi, she refused to take the blame,
Emailgate’s the latest and she acts like it’s a game.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

She will speak in phony accents ’cause she likes to condescend,
She just uses everybody and has never had a friend,
She deserves to be in prison and that’s where her life should end,
How she expects to be the president is too hard to comprehend.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

  • Oct 10 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: A-NOT-HER

a-not-her

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

A-NOT-HER
If for no other principled reason,
In this present electoral season
With two candidates who
Are repugnant to you,
Choose the one who’s not guilty of treason.

Lagniappe

BALLAD OF HILL’RY CLINTON*

Married to the governor of Arkansas,
Saw herself and him as above the law.
How that First Lady would scratch and claw
To get some filthy lucre in her grubby paws!
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

At Madison Guaranty Savings & Loan,
The McDougals did their best to throw her a bone.
Everyone went to prison, ‘cept Bill and her alone.
“Whitewatergate” is how that scandal’s known.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

When she got to the White House, there were scandals galore:
There were Travelgate and Fostergate and umpteen more,
Filegate and Chinagate (with help from Al Gore),
Pardongate and other -gates – who can even keep score?
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

In the Senate and at State, there was more of the same:
Trading favors for financing has always been her aim.
For disasters like Bengazi, she refused to take the blame,
Emailgate’s the latest and she acts like it’s a game.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

She will speak in phony accents ’cause she likes to condescend,
She just uses everybody and has never had a friend,
She deserves to be in prison and that’s where her life should end,
How she expects to be the president is too hard to comprehend.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

*to the tune of “Davy Crockett”

Last week’s limerick

ORGANIZED FOR ACTION
Want some protesters at the mall?
Need to rig an election this fall?
Whatever the job,
The Obamaphone Mob
Is now waiting to take your call.

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  • Oct 03 / 2016
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YWP: ORGANIZED FOR ACTION

organized

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

ORGANIZED FOR ACTION
Want some protesters at the mall?
Need to rig an election this fall?
Whatever the job,
The Obamaphone Mob
Is now waiting to take your call.

From the archive

OAF FOR OFA*
“I will post on a popular site
That appeals to the rubes on the right,
I’ll pretend to engage them,
Then I’ll quickly enrage them,
Leaving heat where there might have been light.”
(2013)
*Organizing for Action

THE BURROWERS
“Just like Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow,
We’re committed, determined, and thorough:
In the media, the schools,
With our radical rules,
We’re the moles that unceasingly burrow.”
(2011)

Last week’s limerick

INNER VOICE
“I’m sorry, I can’t hear.
Say, ‘I’m sick, dishonest, queer’?
Wait a minute! Hey!
What did I just say?
Someone’s hacked into my ear!”

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  • Sep 26 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: INNER VOICE

innervoice

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

INNER VOICE
“I’m sorry, I can’t hear.
Say, ‘I’m sick, dishonest, queer’?
Wait a minute! Hey!
What did I just say?
Someone’s hacked into my ear!”

From the archive

RUSSIAN INTO BATTLE
On the day of the duel, he was glad
That he’d chosen the weapon he had:
Teleprompter for Barry.
And his poor adversary?
Just a shoulder-fired missile for Vlad.
(2014)

NEXT TIME
“By October 16th, that’s the date
That I want you to have this all straight:
Teleprompter is on,
Romney’s microphone’s gone.
Then we’ll see who will win the debate!”
(2012)

PINOCCHIOBAMA
While we hang on his every last word,
Mesmerized by the mishmash we’ve heard,
Teleprompters relay
What the dummy should say
And our president’s Mortimer Snerd.
(2009)

Last week’s limerick

AHEM
“This whole issue’s asinine [COUGH]
And there isn’t any sign [COUGH]
Of anything wrong,
So let’s move along:
My physician says I’m fine [COUGH].”

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