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  • Sep 05 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: DEMOCRAT

democrat

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

DEMOCRAT
What kind of a jughead or jerk
Sports a pious, self-satisfied smirk,
Does what’s destined to fail,
What can never avail,
And keeps doing it when it won’t work?

From the archive

TWITS
It may be just the biggest lie ever,
Making saner sorts say, “Well, I never!”
But celebrities tweet it
And you have to repeat it
If you want to sound current and clever.
(2014)

PROJECTIONISTS
It’s a simple, effective deceit:
Those called “racist” are doomed to defeat,
Yet the ones with most gall,
The most racist of all,
Are the pandering liberal elite.
(2014)

DETOX
Take the pledge and escape from its grip,
Nevermore from this moment a nip:
If you value your brain,
You must henceforth refrain
From the vile Mainstream Media drip.
(2014)

FIFTH COLUMN
Our brave battle for self-preservation
Must address the domestic predation
Of those traitors and fools
– All those socialist tools –
Who are hoping to change our great nation.
(2011)

THE BURROWERS
“Just like Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow,
We’re committed, determined, and thorough:
In the media, the schools,
With our radical rules,
We’re the moles that unceasingly burrow.”
(2011)

IN TOLERANCE
Left-wing radicals running our schools
Do great harm with their inverted rules:
They oppose every norm,
Reject custom and form,
And show deference to freaks and to fools.
(2007)

THE RULES
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
(2007)

THE LIBERAL
“You may think I’ve got rocks in my head
Or that maybe I’m even brain-dead,
But you needn’t complain
‘Cause I don’t use my brain:
I rely on emotions instead.”
(2004)

BIRDS OF A FEATHER
The media rarely deride
A President on the same side:
For the faithful defender
Of their social agenda,
They’re willing to let some things slide.
(1998)

SCHADENFREUDE
Why do liberals like to besmirch
Institutions confirmed by research
As conducive to wealth,
Happiness, and health –
Such as marriage, the family, and church?
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

SYSTEM
When a Democrat goes to the track,
He will always wind up in the black:
He considers it funny
That he’s betting our money
And will never pay anything back.

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  • Aug 29 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: SYSTEM

system
Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SYSTEM
When a Democrat goes to the track,
He will always wind up in the black:
He considers it funny
That he’s betting our money
And will never pay anything back.

From the archive

VACAY
“Going places together’s a drag
As Michelle and I’d rather go stag:
Either way, we both will
Rashly run up the bill
And leave taxpayers holding the bag.”
2013

FREELOADER
What began with such grand expectations
As a quest for the best destinations
Finds Michelle scaling back
When it’s up to Barack
To finance his own family’s vacations.
2012

DEADBEAT
“Oh, Barack, this is fabulous – still,
Can we really afford such a thrill?”
“Stop your worrying, honey,
It isn’t our money:
Someone else will be footing the bill.”
2011

ME SHELL
While the rest of us scrimp all the time,
She displays an indifference sublime:
Our First Lady, Michelle,
Does exceedingly well
As she travels the world on our dime.
2010

ABARACKADABRA
Some magicians do mental spoon-bending
Or assistants in mid-air suspending,
But Barack has a trick
That is even more slick:
He can balance a budget by spending!
2009

OBAMANOMICS
They have money to disburse
That they’ve taken from our purse:
Those who made the big mess,
Turning more into less,
Will now solve it by making it worse.
2009

$700,000,000,000
If the bailout’s astronomical bill
Is a bitter and hard-swallowed pill,
We know things will be fine
With the banks kept in line
By the spendthrifts on Capitol Hill.
2008

Last week’s limerick

WHITE HOUSE OR BUST
She must win to achieve absolution.
If she loses, she’ll face retribution.
If she isn’t elected,
She will soon be subjected
To indictments and swift prosecution.

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  • Aug 22 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: WHITE HOUSE OR BUST

whitehouseorbust

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

WHITE HOUSE OR BUST
She must win to achieve absolution.
If she loses, she’ll face retribution.
If she isn’t elected,
She will soon be subjected
To indictments and swift prosecution..

From the archive

LYNCHPIN
“Don’t worry,” said Bill, “it’s a cinch.
We just need to hang tough and not flinch.
How can acts be illicit
When the boss is complicit
And our friend will come through in a pinch?”
(2016)

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
If she happens to win, what then?
Where will Hillary be sworn in?
Will she be inaugurated
Where she’s incarcerated:
In her cell in a federal pen?
(2016)

HILLARY’S CONVICTION
The First Lady’s a post-modern wife
In responding to marital strife:
She’ll stand by her man
As long as she can,
‘Cause it’s better than “20 to Life.”
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

SELF-CRITICISM
His objections to Trump are so grim
And he makes them with venomous vim,
But Obama misspeaks
‘Cause his cranky critiques
Are more aptly descriptive of him.

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  • Aug 15 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: SELF-CRITICISM

self-criticism

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SELF-CRITICISM
His objections to Trump are so grim
And he makes them with venomous vim,
But Obama misspeaks
‘Cause his cranky critiques
Are more aptly descriptive of him.

Lagniappe

NAME THE PRESIDENT!
Pick one word you might say with a frown,
Use a five-letter word that’s a noun,
Spell it out upper case,
Safely hide it some place:
You alone will see what’s written down.

From the archive

ORDURE IN THE COURT
Choosing sides and then nursing a grudge
With a wink and a nod and a nudge,
One who knew the imperative
Of maintaining a narrative:
Debra Nelson the partisan judge..
(2013)

PROJECTION
Whatever the woe they’re bewailin’,
It’s not long ’fore the Left starts assailin’
The “climate of hate”
That right-wingers create –
And their favorite bête noire, Sarah Palin.
(2011)

BALANCE
“This Talk Radio’s going too far
And we soon will be raising the bar:
In the interest of fairness
And cultural awareness,
Every station will air NPR.”
(2009)

H STANDS FOR HATE
Hillary’s known for intolerant views:
She hates blacks, she hates Christians and Jews,
She hates soldiers and cops
And all men who aren’t fops –
She’s the candidate haters will choose.
(2008)

IN TOLERANCE
Left-wing radicals running our schools
Do great harm with their inverted rules:
They oppose every norm,
Reject custom and form,
And show deference to freaks and to fools.
(2007)

THE RULES
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
(2007)

DIVISION LEADER
Who has kept black Americans down
And spread hatred from town to town?
No, it’s no Anglo-Saxon
But the Reverend Jackson
Who’s the rabidest racist around!
(2001)

THE JOURNALIST
In the past, he was forced to “pay dues”
And develop “a nose for the news.”
Well, he still has a nose,
But, my, how it grows
When the facts must conform to his views!
(1996)

Last week’s limerick

RANSOM
Though they are authorized to play wardens,
Their abuse of that power disheartens:
When they make lots of dough
Letting criminals go,
When Obama, like Clinton, sells pardons.

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  • Aug 08 / 2016
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Your Weekly Politickle: RANSOM

ransom

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

RANSOM
Though they are authorized to play wardens,
Their abuse of that power disheartens:
When they make lots of dough
Letting criminals go,
When Obama, like Clinton, sells pardons.

From the archive

RICHER DOLE
All those Clinton years left Eric older,
His Obama time left Eric colder:
Such experience hardens,
But the selling of pardons
Has undoubtedly left Eric golder.
(2016)

CASHIFIED INFORMATION
“For accelerated authorization
With regard to above application:
To ensure I approve you,
It might well behoove you
To kick in to my family foundation.”
(2015)

From the Clinton archive (1996-2000)

BILL IN A CHINA SHOP
Campaign prospects are more sunny
When the coffer’s full of money.
Leave it to Bill
To fill the till
With money that is funny!

BILL PAYING
Pardon him, pardon her, pardon you.
Pardon everyone Bill ever knew.
There’s no need to be frugal:
Pardon Hubbell, McDougall,
Pardon Gore, pardon Hillary too!

CLINTONIAN DIPLOMACY
“We’ll supply whatsoever you need
To ensure your armed forces succeed,
And we won’t make a fuss
If you use them on us,
‘Cause our sole motivation is greed.

RIADY OR NOT, HERE WE COME!
“Though funds that the DNC spent
Did arise in the Orient,
Our designs are disputable,
Lippo’s motives inscrutable —
Can you prove that we’re not innocent?”

Last week’s limerick

JEERS!
Sure, she’s got a few pounds she could lose
(And those pantsuits in multiple hues),
But her one highest hurdle
Besides needing a girdle
Is she’s got a big problem with boos.

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