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  • Feb 10 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: REPUGNANCY


REPUGNANCY
When I urged her, “Put down your carafe,
Read this limerick, and have a good laugh,”
She made faces a lot,
Threw a fit like a tot,
And then stood up and tore it in half.

From the archive

MadamSpeakerVille

UKRANIUM ONE
Of a scandal, there’s not been a whiff?
Biden, Kerry, Pelosi, and Schiff
All have ties to Ukraine
That they cannot explain:
It’s no longer a question of if.
(2020)

MISS DEMEANOR
At Pelosi’s press conference today,
All attending asked, “What did she say?”
’Cause it sounded like “Trump
Constitutes a peach pump,
Russian rooster, and Biden bidet.”
(2019)

NANCYLVANIA
With the change in the House status quo, see
The new Madame Speaker Pelosi
Enduring the glare
With the crazed, glassy stare
Of a transgendered Bela Lugosi.
(2007)

CINO
“If my actions make no sense,
I’ll say this in my defense:
I’m a psychopathic
Roman Catholic
Whose faith is mere pretense.”
(2003)

Last week’s limerick

COVFEFE MATE
Once impeachment is finally done,
We can then start to have some real fun,
Watching Democrats squirm
As the tables are turned
And they find that they’ve no place to run.



  • Feb 03 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: COVFEFE MATE

COVFEFE MATE
Once impeachment is finally done,
We can then start to have some real fun,
Watching Democrats squirm
As the tables are turned
And they find that they’ve no place to run.

Song parodies commissioned by PublicAdvocateUSA.org

GET A LYIN’ WHISTLER
When you get in trouble
And you don’t know right from wrong,
Get a lyin’ whistler, get a lyin’ whistler

When you meet temptation
And the urge is very strong
Get a lyin’ whistler, get a lyin’ whistler

Not just a little squeaker, a pucker up and blower
And if your whistler’s meek, yell
“We gotta impeach him!”

Right

Take the bent and crooked path
And if you start to slide
Get a lyin’ whistler, get a lyin’ whistler
And always let your conscience be denied

Take the bent and crooked path
And if you start to slide
Get a lyin’ whistler (yoo-hoo)
Get a lyin’ whistler (yoo-hoo)
And always let your conscience be denied
And always let your conscience be denied

I’LL BRING HOME IMPEACHMENT
I’ll bring home impeachment
You can count on me
I’ll have a show
With whistleblowers
And evidence fact-free

Impeachment’s end will find me
Where the spotlight gleams
I’ll bring home impeachment
If only in my dreams.

Last week’s limerick

LOOKS GOOD TO MEME
I’m reluctant to act like a rash wag,
But I’m anxious to launch a new hashtag
And to see my neat theme
Be the next viral meme –
If I don’t toss it into the trash bag.

  • Jan 27 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: LOOKS GOOD TO MEME

LOOKS GOOD TO MEME
I’m reluctant to act like a rash wag,
But I’m anxious to launch a new hashtag
And to see my neat theme
Be the next viral meme –
If I don’t toss it into the trash bag.

Song parodies commissioned by PublicAdvocateUSA.org

DAY DRINKER
Not a good Speaker
Pretending to be so devout
Not a good Speaker
Pretending to be so devout
She’s a day drinker
Loves her liquor, yeah
It takes her so long to dry out
We found out

She’s a big boozer
She’s not completely all there
She’s a big boozer
She’s not completely all there
She’s a day drinker, ETC.

Try to please her,
You’ll never meet her demands
Try to please her,
You’ll never meet her demands
She’s a day drinker, ETC.

MADAMSPEAKERVILLE
Numb from a rum cake, watching the House take
One of those votes that call for roll call
Starting to toddle, I downed a whole bottle
Grab the lectern and try not to fall

Wasting away again in MadamSpeakerVille
Searchin’ for my last scotch single malt
Some people claim I’m the woman to blame
But I know it’s Donald Trump’s fault

Watch me unravel, wavin’ my gavel
With nothing to show but these souvenir pens
I’m limp as linguini from vodka martinis
What I say doesn’t make any sense

Wasting away again in MadamSpeakerVille
Searchin’ for my last scotch single malt
Some people claim I’m the woman to blame
But I know it’s Ronald Dump’s fault

I have a confession: I open each session
High as a kite, cruising on cruise control
But I’ll get through this bender and enact my agenda
Protecting the Deep State’s my one single goal

Wasting away again in MadamSpeakerVille
Searchin’ for my last scotch single malt
Some people claim I’m the woman to blame
But I know it’s Donald Duck’s fault

Last week’s limerick

MATH EXTINCTION
When a vigorous inward migration
Overwhelms an effete population,
People have to be dumb
Not to know the outcome:
What will follow is sure subjugation.

  • Jan 20 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: MATH EXTINCTION


MATH EXTINCTION
When a vigorous inward migration
Overwhelms an effete population,
People have to be dumb
Not to know the outcome:
What will follow is sure subjugation.

From the archive

ROE v. PPFA
A class action suit surely should
Be filed against Planned Parenthood
For the women they lied to,
And the babies that died, too:
Would you rule for these victims? I would.
(2019)

ELDER ABUSE
When the March for Life ended, a crowd
Of hate-spewing racists got loud
And those Covington kids
With their red MAGA lids
Were accosted by lying “Red Cloud.”
(2019)

CRYING GAME
When he wants to, Obama can cry,
But you won’t see a drop in his eye –
No, he won’t shed a tear –
For the million each year
Of babies aborted who die.
(2016)

MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD
There’s no need for a gun or a knife
When the war’s a nonviolent strife:
Those who won’t reproduce
Put themselves in the noose
And surrender a land without life.
(2015)

PROSECUTION FOR THE WITNESS
Having witnessed a hideous crime,
He identified all of the prime
Individuals involved,
But the case is resolved
With the witness the one doing time.
(2015)

CHILDHOOD MEMORY
“I once had a daughter or son.
To this day, I don’t know which one.
I later was wed.
Still, my first child is dead.
Please forgive me for what I have done.”
(2014)

MARCH
No, their numbers are never reported
(If they were, they’d be greatly distorted),
But this year in the throng,
Fifty million-plus strong,
Are the souls of the children aborted.
(2013)

POSTNATAL ABORTION
Oh, the wailing could hardly be shriller
For the fallen abortionist Tiller:
How those pro-choicers burn
With such tender concern
For an infamous serial killer!
(2009)

NO BIG DEAL
Why feel sorry for the slain
While you’re sucking out his brain,
Tearing off of him
Every little limb,
If he cannot feel real pain?
(2005)

DOA
“Shall I never see the morn?
Hear a rattle, bell, or horn?
Or taste the air?
Or touch your hair?
Must I die before I’m born?”
(2005)

WHY GENERATION
For magnolia, for moss, and for myrtle,
For tarpon, for toad, and for turtle,
For the bird and the beast,
And for mankind not least,
The future belongs to the fertile.
(2004)

MOTHER’S DAZE
“In confusion I resorted
To the ‘choice’ that was exhorted;
Now every day
I cry and pray
For the baby I aborted.”
(2003)

LOST ON EARTH
We’re so eager to find a trace
Of the least little life in space,
But here on Earth
We bar the birth
Of lives we could embrace.
(2001)

CHOICE POSITION
Don’t be fooled by the “pro-choice” ruse
That amoralists use to confuse,
For your choices could
Be bad or good
And it matters how you choose.
(2001)

LEGAL ISSUE
Five Justices’ wanton support
Preserves the grim “right” to abort:
To keep babies alive,
Replace one of those five
And establish a life-choosing Court.
(2000)

TERRIFIED TISSUE
“Oh, Mama, don’t let that thing get me!
Oh, Mama, you’ve not even met me!
Oh, Mama, please give
Me a lifetime to live!
Oh, Mama, you’d never regret me!”
(2000)

Last week’s limerick

UKRANIUM ONE
Of a scandal, there’s not been a whiff?
Biden, Kerry, Pelosi, and Schiff
All have ties to Ukraine
That they cannot explain:
It’s no longer a question of if.



  • Jan 13 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: Ukranium One

UKRANIUM ONE
Of a scandal, there’s not been a whiff?
Biden, Kerry, Pelosi, and Schiff
All have ties to Ukraine
That they cannot explain:
It’s no longer a question of if.

From the archive

JOE BRIBIN’
“There’s no conflict for me or for Sonny –
That’s a fact, even if it sounds funny.
You can trust me,” says Joe,
“There was no quid pro quo
When we traded influence for money.”
(2019)

SOME FOUNDATION
Now at last we are hearing the knell
For a devilish global cartel
Dealing drugs, arms, and kids
And horrific snuff vids:
Is there anything Clintons won’t sell?
(2019)

IF IT PROSPER
All the sins of the Clintons are bared,
Yet you’d think not a single soul cared,
But we know what’s the reason
None dare call it treason:
They’re complicit, complacent, or scared.
(2018)

FROM ‘RUSSIA’ WITH LOVE
Short-term goal: Infiltrate and derail
And make sure Donald Trump can’t prevail;
Mission code name: No Drama;
Agent: Double Obama;
Long-term goal: Keep us all out of jail.
(2018)

URANIUM ONE
To avoid an erroneous conclusion,
Let’s begin by dispelling confusion:
It was Hillary who took
Russian bribes like a crook,
It was Hillary engaged in collusion.
(2017)

Last week’s limerick

THE MULLAH REPORT
Soleimani got snuffed in Iraq
While preparing another attack,
And the mullahs are vexed
’Cause they know they’ll be next
If they’re stupid enough to strike back.

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