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  • Jul 30 / 2018
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Your Weekly Politickle: McCARRICK

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

McCARRICK
Woe to shepherds who secretly mock
And mislead the poor sheep in their flock!
Woe to bishops betraying
And on innocents preying!
Woe to all undermining the Rock!

From the archive

BAD SAMARITANS
When a brother has wandered astray,
Those who love him will show him the way;
Those who follow the fashion
Of corrupted compassion
Will assure him his sin is okay.
(2010)

ECCE HOMO
“Comrades, have no fears;
It’s only a matter of years:
We’ll sneak some fairies
Through the seminaries;
Soon the Church will be full of queers!”
(2002)

Last week’s limerick

NOODNIKS*
Lots of left-wing associations,
Lots of biased investigations,
Insane persons employed
Are what finally destroyed
Their self-satisfied reputations.
*each line contains intel acronym

  • Jul 23 / 2018
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Your Weekly Politickle: NOODNIKS

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

NOODNIKS*
Lots of left-wing associations,
Lots of biased investigations,
Insane persons employed
Are what finally destroyed
Their self-satisfied reputations.
*each line contains intel acronym

From the archive

NAME THE PRESIDENT!
Pick one word you might say with a frown,
Use a five-letter word that’s a noun,
Spell it out upper case,
Safely hide it some place:
You alone will see what’s written down.
(2016)

MIGHTY HOAX
Assigning bailout blame
Can be a cryptic game,
One must be deft,
Read on the left:
Now you know the name.
(2008)

LEACHES**
If I really had my druthers,
I would surely choose another;
Maybe I oughta
Vote for her daughter:
She’s as qualified as her mother.
(2008)
**rearrange letters for daughter’s name

Last week’s limerick

STRZOK OUT
What’s impossible now to deny is
That it’s perfectly clear when a guy is
Kissing Hillary’s rump
As he tries to frame Trump
That he’s guilty of obvious bias.

  • Jul 16 / 2018
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Your Weekly Politickle: STRZOK OUT

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

STRZOK OUT
What’s impossible now to deny is
That it’s perfectly clear when a guy is
Kissing Hillary’s rump
As he tries to frame Trump
That he’s guilty of obvious bias.

From the archive

IF IT PROSPER
All the sins of the Clintons are bared,
Yet you’d think not a single soul cared,
But we know what’s the reason
None dare call it treason:
They’re complicit, complacent, or scared.
(2018)

DEEP STATE
They assure us they’re loyal and true
And were not instigating a coup
By creating the illusion
Of Russian collusion.
Well, that’s that. I’m convinced. How about you?
(2018)

URANIUM ONE
To avoid an erroneous conclusion,
Let’s begin by dispelling confusion:
It was Hillary who took
Russian bribes like a crook,
It was Hillary engaged in collusion.
(2017)

WELL, DUH!
I had never the slightest confusion
And came easily to this conclusion,
Needing no one to show me
It was Mueller and Comey
With the Clintons engaged in collusion.
(2017)

DITTO MACHINE
It’s now time to suspend the discussions
And consider the grim repercussions:
It’s true Trump had an ace
In the Limbaugh fan base
And engaged in collusion with Rush-ians.
(2017)

Last week’s limerick

TDS*
Are these symptoms familiar to you:
Bulging eyes and pinched lips turning blue,
Heart a-pounding (thump thump)
At the mention of Trump,
Raw emotions and lowered IQ?
*Trump Derangement Syndrome

  • Jul 09 / 2018
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Your Weekly Politickle: TDS

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

TDS*
Are these symptoms familiar to you:
Bulging eyes and pinched lips turning blue,
Heart a-pounding (thump thump)
At the mention of Trump,
Raw emotions and lowered IQ?
*Trump Derangement Syndrome

Lagniappe

FOOL WATERS
All day that face
Spews toxic waste,
Who could embrace
Miss Waters,
Maxine Waters?

That nut’s a tool,
An utter fool,
There’s no one who’ll
Miss Waters,
Maxine Waters.
*To the tune of “Cool Water”

#WALKAWAY, RENEE
And when you see the signs that seem to say
The Left just uses you to get their way,
Just walk away, Renee:
The Democrat Party’s not your home,
Their empty promises of hope and change are lame,
You’re not to blame.
*To the tune of “Walk Away, Renee”

Last week’s limerick

YOUR PENUMBRA’S UP
We will have a conservative Court,
One that won’t legislate or distort
The plain meaning of laws
To advance a bad cause,
One that won’t invent “rights” to abort.

  • Jul 02 / 2018
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Your Weekly Politickle: YOUR PENUMBRA’S UP

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

YOUR PENUMBRA’S UP
We will have a conservative Court,
One that won’t legislate or distort
The plain meaning of laws
To advance a bad cause,
One that won’t invent “rights” to abort.

From the archive

A JUSTICE LIKE SCALIA*
(to the tune of “How Do You
Solve a Problem like Maria?”)

How do you top a justice like Scalia?
How to replace a lion of the bench?
How do you find a mind to match Scalia’s?
A textualist! An originalist! A mensch!

Many a thing you’d like in his successor:
Unwillingness to obfuscate or fudge,
Respect for the law’s intent
And eloquence in dissent,
Principles from which he’ll never budge.

Oh, how do you top a justice like Scalia?
How to replace a giant of a judge?

WE’RE GETTING GORSUCH*
(to the tune of “Get Me
to the Church on Time”)

We’re getting Gorsuch as a justice
He’s got a brilliant legal mind
Neil’s no beginner, Trump picked a winner!
For justice of the court, Neil’s fine!

He will protect our Constitution
And all the rights therein enshrined,
Giving assent to original intent!
For justice of the court, Neil’s fine!

Religious freedoms he will support
And right to life won’t come up short

We’re getting Gorsuch as a justice
He’s got a brilliant legal mind
Oh. Mama mia! Another Scalia!
For justice of the court, Neil’s fine!

*Commissioned by PublicAdvocateUSA.org, 2017

SUPREME FOLLY
Who’d have thought there would come such a time
When the butchering of babes was no crime?
Now another miscarriage:
Homosexual “marriage,”
Legalized by a panel of nine.
(2015)

ROBERTS’ RULES OF ARDOR
A conservative judge may betray us
By voting in ways that dismay us,
Saving Obamacare
To conceal an affair
And avoid the same fate as Petraeus.
(2012)

KAGANROO COURT
Poor Obama is losing support,
But he still has a sure last resort:
He can perpetrate strange
And perpetual change
Placing radicals on the High Court.
(2010)

INVERT TED
Olson says a square is round,
Half an ounce is twice a pound,
Two o’clock is ten,
Men can marry men,
And the sky is underground.
(2010)

SUPREME INDIFFERENCE
Should our judges be judged by their gender,
Or the justness of verdicts they render?
Should we reckon their race,
Or their ken in a case
As a strict Constitution defender?
(2009)

SUPREME IRONY
From first principles he won’t budge.
Constitutionally he won’t fudge.
But with Durbin and Biden
And their buddies decidin’,
He’s not “fit” to become a judge.
(2005)

LAWRENCE V. TEXAS
The evil with which men are ridden
In normal times hardly is hidden,
But no era’s more awful
Than when vice is made lawful
And propriety, then, is forbidden.
(2003)

LEGAL ISSUE
Five Justices’ wanton support
Preserves the grim “right” to abort:
To keep babies alive,
Replace one of those five
And establish a life-choosing Court.
(2000)

JUDICIAL RESTRAINT
It’s a perfectly valid complaint:
An activist judge is no saint.
So, give him a jacket
That ties in the back; it
Will force him to show some restraint.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

LYNCH PARTY
At the gallows are gathered the gang,
In their consciences feeling no pang.
As the nooses draw taut,
Still surprised they got caught,
Haughty Hillary’s hooligans hang.

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