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  • Jul 24 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: SHOW

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SHOW
“As of yet, we have failed to outflank him,
Having turned up no evidence, dang him!
But ours is a court
Of a different sort:
We will have a ‘fair’ trial and then hang him.”

From the archive

BALLAD OF HILL’RY CLINTON

[to the tune of Davy Crockett]

Married to the governor of Arkansas,
Saw herself and him as above the law.
How that First Lady would scratch and claw
To get some filthy lucre in her grubby paws!
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

At Madison Guaranty Savings & Loan,
The McDougals did their best to throw her a bone.
Everyone went to prison, ‘cept Bill and her alone.
“Whitewatergate” is how that scandal’s known.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

When she got to the White House, there were scandals galore:
There were Travelgate and Fostergate and umpteen more,
Filegate and Chinagate (with help from Al Gore),
Pardongate and other -gates – who can even keep score?
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

In the Senate and at State, there was more of the same:
Trading favors for financing has always been her aim.
For disasters like Bengazi, she refused to take the blame,
Emailgate’s the latest and she acts like it’s a game.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

She will speak in phony accents ’cause she likes to condescend,
She just uses everybody and has never had a friend,
She deserves to be in prison and that’s where her life should end,
How she expects to be the president is too hard to comprehend.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!
(2016)

Last week’s limerick

PAVLOV’S BELL
The reaction is wildly dramatic,
Instantaneous, and automatic:
When a “comic” says “Trump,”
Every humorless chump
Will guffaw like a mindless fanatic.

  • Jul 17 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: PAVLOV’S BELL

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

PAVLOV’S BELL
The reaction is wildly dramatic,
Instantaneous, and automatic:
When a “comic” says “Trump,”
Every humorless chump
Will guffaw like a mindless fanatic.

From the archive

DC COMICS
The ones who are putting him down
Are the biggest buffoons in this town:
Who doesn’t know those
Who do this are bozos,
Those who say Donald Trump is a clown?
(2017)

COMIC CON
“You can say that you meant it in jest,
Were just kidding, and all of the rest,
But the fact is you broke
A new law with that joke:
Mr. Seinfeld, you’re under arrest!”
(2016)

AN INCONVENIENT MIRTH
With the waning of warming pretense
Putting climate change on the defense,
Humbugs have a new hoax:
The world’s threatened by jokes
Being made at the humbugs’ expense.
(2010)

NO JOKE
I’m loath to make light of the lying,
The fraud, the corruption, the spying:
The norms villains shatter
Are no laughing matter,
But the only alternative’s crying.
(2000)

Last week’s limerick

IMBROGLIO
Like Obama, he promises hope
And a yep to replace every nope:
“Forget about sins
And let’s just be friends,”
Says all affably dear Auntie Pope.

  • Jul 10 / 2017
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Betty McKinney, RIP

Just got an email from an old colleague and friend informing me that he “went to wake this morning of your old Scrabble buddy Betty McKinney.”

I was sorry to hear that, because she was my buddy, for the three years I worked on a magazine in the Boston area in the late 1980s — in a building full of schemers and backstabbers.

And we did play Scrabble, almost every day, at lunchtime.

One of my favorite memories: Seeing Betty reach for a downturned Scrabble tile as though she knew what letter it was. After the game was over, I noticed there were a couple of tiles with slight pink stains on the back, picked up from the coloring of the box, I suppose.

Since I was in the habit of buying used Scrabble boards at thrift stores whenever I came upon them, I had several at home, so I switched out the stained tiles in my box at the office and had the supreme pleasure of enjoying the look on Betty’s face when she couldn’t spot them the next time we played. Neither one of us ever said a word about it, but I got her and she knew it.

 

  • Jul 10 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: IMBROGLIO

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

IMBROGLIO
Like Obama, he promises hope
And a yep to replace every nope:
“Forget about sins
And let’s just be friends,”
Says all affably dear Auntie Pope.

From the archive

OBAMA IN THE HIGHEST
“With the pope, I made such an impression
That he asked me to hear his confession.
I replied, with a nod,
‘I’m related to God
And would gladly provide intercession.’”
(2014)

POPE QUIZ
“I’m-a not-a so sure, I’m perplex:
How we s’pose-a to choose pontifex?”
“It’s a cinch,” Guido say,
“They just got-a two way:
It’s-a called the conclave and convlex.”
(2013)

SEDE VACANTE
When uncertainty hangs in the air,
It behooves us to gather in prayer
With the hope that God will
Send us someone to fill
The unoccupied president’s chair.
(2013)

CARPE DEUM
We’ve had “free” love and all of the rest;
Other options were put to the test.
Now we see in the light
Benedict has it right
When he says “Deus caritas est.”
(2006)

VIVA IL PAPA!
I remember the blear Berlin Wall
And the day that it started to fall,
And the part that was played
By a man unafraid –
The inspired and inspiring John Paul.
(2005)

ECCE HOMO
“Comrades, have no fears;
It’s only a matter of years:
We’ll sneak some fairies
Through the seminaries;
Soon the Church will be full of queers!”
(2002)

Last week’s limerick

CAVEAT LECTOR
Boat I bought had great reviews,
Couldn’t wait to take a cruise,
Launched it and – kerplunk! –
Down it went and sunk,
So beware of fake canoes.

  • Jul 03 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: CAVEAT LECTOR

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

CAVEAT LECTOR
Boat I bought had great reviews,
Couldn’t wait to take a cruise,
Launched it and – kerplunk! –
Down it went and sunk,
So beware of fake canoes.

From the archive

LIME SCHEME
A perfectionist poet was picky
And found writing light verse rather tricky,
So he sought inspiration
From an apt distillation
In a perfectly punny lime rickey.
(2004)

OH, WAITER!
“What’s this fly doing in my soup?”
I demand with my spoon in mid-scoop.
The response I receive:
Backstroke, I believe.”
To what depths will the wry waiter stoop!
(2002)

SHTICK BUG
Riddles and puns are my play:
Who’s on first, I sensibly say,
And I know why a duck,
But I fear that I’m stuck
When the question is, Y2K.
(1999)

Last week’s limerick

CAGEY B-STUDENT
“Your excuse when assignments are lacking
Always seems like a cover for slacking,
But this new one is great,
Why your homework is late:
Your computer sustained Russian hacking?”

  • Jun 26 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: CAGEY B-STUDENT

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

CAGEY B-STUDENT
“Your excuse when assignments are lacking
Always seems like a cover for slacking,
But this new one is great,
Why your homework is late:
Your computer sustained Russian hacking?”

From the archive

POP QUIZ
“It’s the second time now that you’ve had
To miss school for the death of your dad.
Did he die more than once?
Do you think I’m a dunce?”
“Losing two fathers, so far, is so sad.”
(2016)

SAFETY FIRST
A student in junior high classes
Spotted several suspicious young lasses,
But the principal said
He was out of his head
And forbade him to wear x-ray glasses.
(2010)

Last week’s limerick

BARRY WHO?
“Who’s that pompous, preposterous prig?”
“Oh, that jug-eared, effete talking twig?
He’s the diva of drama,
Says his name is Obama
And he used to be somebody big.”