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  • Jun 05 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: COMMENCEMENT

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

COMMENCEMENT
“In my cap and my gown, ill at ease,
One of millions with college degrees:
How that college has dunned me!
Please click through to GoFundMe,
Help defray my tuition and fees!”

From the archive

BS
Here is something we need to abolish:
The idea we must all go to college,
Squander four years or more,
Pile up debt at our door,
And gain little or negative knowledge.
(2014)

GRADUATED TAX
How they worry us and make us fret:
These degrees that we just have to get!
I’ve now earned my diploma,
But what’s that aroma?
It’s the smell of a smoldering debt.
(2014)

IN LOCO PARENTIS
It is time to let go of the dears
We have formed in their faith 18 years –
And to spend, as we planned,
More than one hundred grand
On their faith-killing college careers.
(2011)

GRADUATION DAZE
There once was a student named Bob
Who stood out from the mortarboard mob;
Now he’s got his diploma,
But he’s caught in a coma
‘Cause he can’t find a well-paying job.
(2009)

RE: ORIENTATION
Fully formed are your heart, soul, and mind
With the facts of a faith well defined.
Now we send you to college,
Where a secular “knowledge”
Will ensure that belief’s undermined.
(2005)

QUEENS COLLEGE
“Your report card’s created a fuss
With your father and me: Both of us
Are a little bit leery
Of this course called ‘Queer Theory’
– And the fact that you got an A-plus.”
(2002)

GRADUATION DEITY
No religious beliefs were expressed
In his valedictorian address,
But he feigned an “achoo!”
And his classmates on cue
In unison shouted “God bless!”
(2002)

P.C. (POST CHRISTIAN)
The other children teased her
For being a faithful feaster:
When the pagan takes
His seasonal breaks,
She celebrates Christmas and Easter.
(2002)

CLARITY BEGINS AT HOME
Their parents won’t be overruled,
Nor their personal values retooled.
Their minds will grow strong
As they learn right from wrong,
‘Cause these children are being homeschooled.
(2000)

FRESHMAN ORIENTATION
Students headed for college each fall
Have to keep their opinions in thrall:
It’s essential to be
Perceived as “PC,”
So they try not to speak up at all.
(1999)

FAILING MARX
Socialism is dead!
Done in, the indomitable Red!
Or so it would seem,
But in academe
One had better check under one’s bed.
(1998)

GRAD SONG
The student goes to college
And an education forges,
But I fed too much
On knowledge and such,
And now my brain disgorges:
Within the dark and dismal class,
You’ll no longer spot my features.
My notes I burned,
And since I’ve learned
What I never could from teachers.
(1975)

Last week’s limerick

MEMORIAL DAY
If you’re honest and also well-bred,
You’ll pay homage to all who have bled
– Wearing blue, wearing gray –
And on this special day
Also honor Confederate dead.

  • May 29 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: MEMORIAL DAY

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

MEMORIAL DAY
If you’re honest and also well-bred,
You’ll pay homage to all who have bled
– Wearing blue, wearing gray –
And on this special day
Also honor Confederate dead.

From the archive

THE HISTORY CHANT
In 1400 and 92
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

Tell us more, tell us more
About US. U.S.,
That’s US. Tell us more.
We’re mad, we’re mad
About history, U.S. history,
Hopping mad.
Rap US up, Rap US up.
Who can tell us more
Of our history?
You can. I can.
American. American.

Columbus knew that the earth was round.
He sailed west for the East and a New World was found.
Tell us more, tell us more, ETC.

From the Old World more explorers came
From England and Holland, and France and Spain.
Tell us more, tell us more, ETC.

The settlers in Jamestown nearly starved.
Captain Smith said, to eat they had to work hard.
Tell us more, tell us more, ETC.

Read the entire “History Chant”

Last week’s limerick

FORWARD, MARSH!
“We’re surrounded by partisan haters,
Resisters, subversives, and traitors:
We have struggled and strained
To get the swamp drained,
But we’re up to our asses in gators.”

  • May 22 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: FORWARD, MARSH!

ANNUAL MAY DAY APPEAL! Donate online via PayPal. Click DONATE button, top right.

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

FORWARD, MARSH!
“We’re surrounded by partisan haters,
Resisters, subversives, and traitors:
We have struggled and strained
To get the swamp drained,
But we’re up to our asses in gators.”

From the archive

SEE YOU LATER, AGITATOR!
Our future would now seem quite bright
If Obama had sought to unite,
If he’d done what he could
To promote brotherhood:
Not the opposite, so to divide.
(2016)

Last week’s limerick

KILL BILL
The excuse the Republican gave
As to why he decided to cave:
“When proffered a purse
Or a ride in a hearse,
I found graft appealed more than the grave.”

  • May 15 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: KILL BILL

ANNUAL MAY DAY APPEAL! Donate online via PayPal. Click DONATE button, top right.

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

KILL BILL
The excuse the Republican gave
As to why he decided to cave:
“When proffered a purse
Or a ride in a hearse,
I found graft appealed more than the grave.”

From the archive

RICHER DOLE
All those Clinton years left Eric colder,
His Obama time left Eric older:
Such experience hardens,
But the selling of pardons
Has undoubtedly left Eric golder.
(2016)

$PEECHE$
She’s about as exciting as clay
And has nothing of interest to say,
But the muckety-mucks
Give her millions of bucks
‘Cause they know that they must pay to play.
(2016)

CASHIFIED INFORMATION
“For accelerated authorization
With regard to above application:
To ensure I approve you,
It might well behoove you
To kick in to my family foundation.”
(2015)

WICKED
Through years the graft extends
And favors for their “friends”:
They plundered like Vandals,
Now Hillary’s scandals
Are burning at both ends.
(2015)

RENTBOY
Were some clients relieved, some dismayed,
By the Homeland Security raid?
Will the customer list
For the mill provide grist:
To protect some, and others “persuade”?
(2015)

ROBERTS’ RULES OF ARDOR
A conservative judge may betray us
By voting in ways that dismay us,
Saving Obamacare
To conceal an affair
And avoid the same fate as Petraeus.
(2012)

APPROPRIATE?
No one curbs what a Congressman spends
Or complains when his earmark offends,
Not while “King Corruption” Murtha
Wields the power of the purser
To provide for his family and friends.
(2007)

DC/BC
We have graft and corruption again,
Just as they did way back when —
And somewhere the progenies
Of the Ancient Diogenes
Are still striving to find honest men.
(2006)

NO JOKE
I’m loath to make light of the lying,
The fraud, the corruption, the spying:
The norms villains shatter
Are no laughing matter,
But the only alternative’s crying.
(2000)

EXTRA INCOME
By dollar, by yen, or by ounce,
One can only surmise the amounts
That a solon retains
As his ill-gotten gains
In his numbered Swiss savings accounts.
(1998)

From the Clinton archive (1996-2000)

BILL IN A CHINA SHOP
Campaign prospects are more sunny
When the coffer’s full of money.
Leave it to Bill
To fill the till
With money that is funny!

BILL PAYING
Pardon him, pardon her, pardon you.
Pardon everyone Bill ever knew.
There’s no need to be frugal:
Pardon Hubbell, McDougall,
Pardon Gore, pardon Hillary too!

CLINTONIAN DIPLOMACY
“We’ll supply whatsoever you need
To ensure your armed forces succeed,
And we won’t make a fuss
If you use them on us,
‘Cause our sole motivation is greed.

RIADY OR NOT, HERE WE COME!
“Though funds that the DNC spent
Did arise in the Orient,
Our designs are disputable,
Lippo’s motives inscrutable —
Can you prove that we’re not innocent?”

Last week’s limerick

ADD VICE & CONSENT
“I’d prefer not to balk or retreat
And deliver another defeat,
But Koskinen and Comey
Have gotten to know me,
And the file they’ve compiled is complete.”

  • May 12 / 2017
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The John Lewis Story, Over and Over Again

Am I the only person sick and tired of hearing John Lewis retell the story of his one brief moment of alleged heroism 54 years ago? What has he done since, for anyone other than himself?

Here’s his latest milking of that moment, an OFA (Organizing for America, or whatever it’s currently called) email opposing efforts to prevent voter fraud:

Friend —

54 years sounds like a long time ago — but in the context of our movement, it’s only a blink.

It’s only been 54 years since I marched with my brothers and sisters from Selma to Montgomery, Alabama.

It’s only been 54 years since we were jailed, beaten, and killed for trying to cast a vote. For trying to participate in democracy, in the United States of America.

This isn’t ancient history. It’s the experience of my life.

Just a few decades ago, we changed the course of history and helped pave the way for the Voting Rights Act — but yesterday, this administration put that legacy under attack.

They signed an executive order to start a commission investigating almost non-existent “voter fraud.” It’s nothing more than a cover for them to threaten our progress — with registration barriers, elimination of early and absentee voting, and rules that obstruct an inclusive democracy.

We cannot let this happen.

President Obama likes to say that the arc of the moral universe doesn’t bend on its own — we have to reach up and pull it towards justice ourselves. On that day 54 years ago, we gave it a mighty pull. We can’t let it snap back.

  • May 08 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: ADD VICE & CONSENT

ANNUAL MAY DAY APPEAL! Donate online via PayPal. Click DONATE button, top right.

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

ADD VICE & CONSENT
“I’d prefer not to balk or retreat
And deliver another defeat,
But Koskinen and Comey
Have gotten to know me,
And the file they’ve compiled is complete.”

From the archive

BIG EARS
Does Obama read my email?
Does Obama tap my phone?
Does he peer into my bedroom
With a dragonfly-shaped drone?

Does he know my favorite color,
Movie, music, and cologne?
Does he know I like chai latte
With a croissant or a scone?

Does he know where I’ve donated,
Where I’ve driven to or flown?
Does he check my charge card charges
Just as if they were his own?

Does he recognize no boundaries
And respect no private zone?
Does Obama lack the decency
To leave us all alone?
(2013)

Last week’s limerick

SPAWN OF SAGAN
They pretend to be men of true science,
But they have an unholy alliance,
For the side that Bill Nye’s on
With Neil deGrasse Tyson
Denies Truth in demonic defiance.