:::: MENU ::::

Blog

  • Aug 07 / 2017
  • 0
Uncategorized

Your Weekly Politickle: MACROAGGRESSION

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

MACROAGGRESSION
You insist we’ve no virtues you lack,
But still claim that we’re holding you back:
If you’re equal to us,
Then it’s clear when you fuss
That it’s us who are under attack.

From the archive

SELF-ANOINTED
“How can anyone belie us
Or suggest we bear a bias?
Our head-tilted-back poses
Let you see up our noses,
Proving we’re ever so pious.”
(2017)

PROJECTIONISTS
It’s a simple, effective deceit:
Those called “racist” are doomed to defeat,
Yet the ones with most gall,
The most racist of all,
Are the pandering liberal elite.
(2014)

THE RULES
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
(2007)

THE REAL WMDs
Multicultural misinstruction
And the feminist/gay seduction
Aim to cause disaffection
And incite insurrection
And are weapons of mass destruction.
(2003)

FRESHMAN ORIENTATION
Students headed for college each fall
Have to keep their opinions in thrall:
It’s essential to be
Perceived as “PC,”
So they try not to speak up at all.
(1999)

Last week’s limerick

BACK IN THE CLOSET!
We relented and let you come out,
But we never expected you’d flout
All the rules of decorum
In whatever forum –
And adopt worse perversions to tout.

  • Jul 31 / 2017
  • 0
Uncategorized

Your Weekly Politickle: BACK IN THE CLOSET!

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

BACK IN THE CLOSET!
We relented and let you come out,
But we never expected you’d flout
All the rules of decorum
In whatever forum –
And adopt worse perversions to tout.

From the archive

DESENSITIZATION
We’re mainstreaming perverted carnality
(Homophilia to bestiality),
But remove the taboo
And they’re less “fun” to do:
That’s the fitting, ironic reality.

(2017)

SPOTTED
A ladybug, asked why
She seemed to be so shy
About sharing a shower
On a marigold flower,
Said, “That ladybug’s a guy!”
(2016)

YIKES!
“You may claim that you’re not anti-gay,
But to prove that you mean what you say
You must now demonstrate
That you really don’t hate –
And to do that, there’s only one way.”
(2016)

DEAD END
Though the mob is completely insane, though
They cause everyone so much pain, though
They shout and shove
And call it “love,”
There is death at the end of the rainbow.
(2015)

YOU’RE IN DOUBT?
“If you’re not really sure of your stance
As to bathrooms, then why take a chance?
Confused about gender?
Do what I do: Surrender —
And just stand there and pee in your pants.”
(2015)

UNLOCKER ROOM
In the past when a pervert would peek,
He’d be met with a slap or a shriek:
Now he says he’s a woman,
Is entitled to come in,
Not be treated like some kind of freak.
(2015)

THE ADVOCATE
No man’s perfect, nor ever has been:
We fall over and over again,
And, while some turn to prayer,
Many others despair
Or crusade on behalf of their sin.
(2015)

PAN
S/he was straight, s/he was bi, s/he was gay:
Openminded, s/he went any way,
Even trying out trans,
At last settling on sans,
Too exhausted for any more play.
(2014)

AGITPROP
Maybe three in a hundred are bent,
And one tenth of that number intent
On pretending to wed
Same-sex partners instead:
All this turmoil for three-tenths percent?
(2012)

BULLIES
In the 50s our fathers knew best,
But back then they could scarcely have guessed
That a mere three percent
Who are sexually bent
Would intimidate all of the rest.
(2012)

CZARDOM & GOMORRAH
“We are in your schools now and polluting
All the innocent minds we’re rebooting:
There’ll be total immersion
In every perversion
And the schools will be safe for recruiting.”
(2011)

BAD SAMARITANS
When a brother has wandered astray,
Those who love him will show him the way;
Those who follow the fashion
Of corrupted compassion
Will assure him his sin is okay.
(2010)

SAFE AND UNSOUND
There’s “safe sex” and “safe schools” and “safe touch,”
“Safe this” and “safe that” and “safe such,”
But, if “safe” now means “queer”
And is said with a leer,
The word “safe” doesn’t comfort me much.
(2009)

IN TOLERANCE
Left-wing radicals running our schools
Do great harm with their inverted rules:
They oppose every norm,
Reject custom and form,
And show deference to freaks and to fools.
(2007)

LAWRENCE V. TEXAS
The evil with which men are ridden
In normal times hardly is hidden,
But no era’s more awful
Than when vice is made lawful
And propriety, then, is forbidden.
(2003)

NOVEL IDEA
In The Wanting Seed, Anthony Burgess
Prophesied the preposterous purges
He knew surely would come
When the righteous play dumb
And the vicious give vent to their urges.
(2003)

Last week’s limerick

SHOW
“As of yet, we have failed to outflank him,
Having turned up no evidence, dang him!
But ours is a court
Of a different sort:
We will have a ‘fair’ trial and then hang him.”

  • Jul 24 / 2017
  • 0
Uncategorized

Your Weekly Politickle: SHOW

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SHOW
“As of yet, we have failed to outflank him,
Having turned up no evidence, dang him!
But ours is a court
Of a different sort:
We will have a ‘fair’ trial and then hang him.”

From the archive

BALLAD OF HILL’RY CLINTON

[to the tune of Davy Crockett]

Married to the governor of Arkansas,
Saw herself and him as above the law.
How that First Lady would scratch and claw
To get some filthy lucre in her grubby paws!
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

At Madison Guaranty Savings & Loan,
The McDougals did their best to throw her a bone.
Everyone went to prison, ‘cept Bill and her alone.
“Whitewatergate” is how that scandal’s known.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

When she got to the White House, there were scandals galore:
There were Travelgate and Fostergate and umpteen more,
Filegate and Chinagate (with help from Al Gore),
Pardongate and other -gates – who can even keep score?
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

In the Senate and at State, there was more of the same:
Trading favors for financing has always been her aim.
For disasters like Bengazi, she refused to take the blame,
Emailgate’s the latest and she acts like it’s a game.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

She will speak in phony accents ’cause she likes to condescend,
She just uses everybody and has never had a friend,
She deserves to be in prison and that’s where her life should end,
How she expects to be the president is too hard to comprehend.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!
(2016)

Last week’s limerick

PAVLOV’S BELL
The reaction is wildly dramatic,
Instantaneous, and automatic:
When a “comic” says “Trump,”
Every humorless chump
Will guffaw like a mindless fanatic.

  • Jul 17 / 2017
  • 0
Uncategorized

Your Weekly Politickle: PAVLOV’S BELL

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

PAVLOV’S BELL
The reaction is wildly dramatic,
Instantaneous, and automatic:
When a “comic” says “Trump,”
Every humorless chump
Will guffaw like a mindless fanatic.

From the archive

DC COMICS
The ones who are putting him down
Are the biggest buffoons in this town:
Who doesn’t know those
Who do this are bozos,
Those who say Donald Trump is a clown?
(2017)

COMIC CON
“You can say that you meant it in jest,
Were just kidding, and all of the rest,
But the fact is you broke
A new law with that joke:
Mr. Seinfeld, you’re under arrest!”
(2016)

AN INCONVENIENT MIRTH
With the waning of warming pretense
Putting climate change on the defense,
Humbugs have a new hoax:
The world’s threatened by jokes
Being made at the humbugs’ expense.
(2010)

NO JOKE
I’m loath to make light of the lying,
The fraud, the corruption, the spying:
The norms villains shatter
Are no laughing matter,
But the only alternative’s crying.
(2000)

Last week’s limerick

IMBROGLIO
Like Obama, he promises hope
And a yep to replace every nope:
“Forget about sins
And let’s just be friends,”
Says all affably dear Auntie Pope.

  • Jul 10 / 2017
  • 0
Uncategorized

Betty McKinney, RIP

Just got an email from an old colleague and friend informing me that he “went to wake this morning of your old Scrabble buddy Betty McKinney.”

I was sorry to hear that, because she was my buddy, for the three years I worked on a magazine in the Boston area in the late 1980s — in a building full of schemers and backstabbers.

And we did play Scrabble, almost every day, at lunchtime.

One of my favorite memories: Seeing Betty reach for a downturned Scrabble tile as though she knew what letter it was. After the game was over, I noticed there were a couple of tiles with slight pink stains on the back, picked up from the coloring of the box, I suppose.

Since I was in the habit of buying used Scrabble boards at thrift stores whenever I came upon them, I had several at home, so I switched out the stained tiles in my box at the office and had the supreme pleasure of enjoying the look on Betty’s face when she couldn’t spot them the next time we played. Neither one of us ever said a word about it, but I got her and she knew it.

 

  • Jul 10 / 2017
  • 0
Uncategorized

Your Weekly Politickle: IMBROGLIO

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

IMBROGLIO
Like Obama, he promises hope
And a yep to replace every nope:
“Forget about sins
And let’s just be friends,”
Says all affably dear Auntie Pope.

From the archive

OBAMA IN THE HIGHEST
“With the pope, I made such an impression
That he asked me to hear his confession.
I replied, with a nod,
‘I’m related to God
And would gladly provide intercession.’”
(2014)

POPE QUIZ
“I’m-a not-a so sure, I’m perplex:
How we s’pose-a to choose pontifex?”
“It’s a cinch,” Guido say,
“They just got-a two way:
It’s-a called the conclave and convlex.”
(2013)

SEDE VACANTE
When uncertainty hangs in the air,
It behooves us to gather in prayer
With the hope that God will
Send us someone to fill
The unoccupied president’s chair.
(2013)

CARPE DEUM
We’ve had “free” love and all of the rest;
Other options were put to the test.
Now we see in the light
Benedict has it right
When he says “Deus caritas est.”
(2006)

VIVA IL PAPA!
I remember the blear Berlin Wall
And the day that it started to fall,
And the part that was played
By a man unafraid –
The inspired and inspiring John Paul.
(2005)

ECCE HOMO
“Comrades, have no fears;
It’s only a matter of years:
We’ll sneak some fairies
Through the seminaries;
Soon the Church will be full of queers!”
(2002)

Last week’s limerick

CAVEAT LECTOR
Boat I bought had great reviews,
Couldn’t wait to take a cruise,
Launched it and – kerplunk! –
Down it went and sunk,
So beware of fake canoes.

Pages:1234567...213