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  • Jan 30 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: MENDING WALL

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

MENDING WALL
There’s no need to rattle sabers
Just because we’re checking papers:
We will build a wall
To screen them all
‘Cause good fences make good neighbors.

From the archive

DREAMERS FROM MY FATHERLAND
“People say I pursue my goals sneakily
Or, exceeding my powers, act regally,
But I’ve done what I’ve done
‘Cause I feel myself one
With the folks who have come here illegally.”
(2015)

PRESIDENT EVIL
Open borders and mass immigration,
Homosexual indoctrination,
Racial riots and war:
That’s what he has in store,
That’s Obama’s macabre “transformation.”
(2014)

VISITORS
If you’re in someone’s home as a guest,
Try to see that your host is impressed:
Don’t do anything wrong
And don’t stay overlong
Or in any way act like a pest.
(2014)

WELCOME TO AMERICA
“You illegally crossed our border?
You’re a drugs and weapons importer?
You’re a sociopath
Spewing venomous wrath?
Yes, everything seems in order.”
(2002)

TWO-WAY TRAFFIC
It came as an inspiration,
The solution to mass immigration:
For each incoming worker,
Deport one native shirker
To some socialist paradise nation.
(2001)

Last week’s limerick

SELF-ANOINTED
“How can anyone belie us
Or suggest we bear a bias?
Our head-tilted-back poses
Let you see up our noses,
Proving we’re ever so pious.”

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  • Jan 23 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: SELF-ANOINTED

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SELF-ANOINTED
“How can anyone belie us
Or suggest we bear a bias?
Our head-tilted-back poses
Let you see up our noses,
Proving we’re ever so pious.”

From the archive

DEMOCRAT
What kind of a jughead or jerk
Sports a pious, self-satisfied smirk,
Does what’s destined to fail,
What can never avail,
And keeps doing it when it won’t work?
(2016)

TWITS
It may be just the biggest lie ever,
Making saner sorts say, “Well, I never!”
But celebrities tweet it
And you have to repeat it
If you want to sound current and clever.
(2014)

PROJECTIONISTS
It’s a simple, effective deceit:
Those called “racist” are doomed to defeat,
Yet the ones with most gall,
The most racist of all,
Are the pandering liberal elite.
(2014)

THE BURROWERS
“Just like Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow,
We’re committed, determined, and thorough:
In the media, the schools,
With our radical rules,
We’re the moles that unceasingly burrow.”
(2011)

IN TOLERANCE
Left-wing radicals running our schools
Do great harm with their inverted rules:
They oppose every norm,
Reject custom and form,
And show deference to freaks and to fools.
(2007)

THE RULES
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
(2007)

THE LIBERAL
“You may think I’ve got rocks in my head
Or that maybe I’m even brain-dead,
But you needn’t complain
‘Cause I don’t use my brain:
I rely on emotions instead.”
(2004)

SCHADENFREUDE
Why do liberals like to besmirch
Institutions confirmed by research
As conducive to wealth,
Happiness, and health –
Such as marriage, the family, and church?
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

NEWS SURREAL
Mainstream media’s known to suffuse
Its reports with particular views:
With this bias abundant,
It’s absurdly redundant
To call what it offers “fake news.”

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  • Jan 16 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: NEWS SURREAL

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

NEWS SURREAL
Mainstream media’s known to suffuse
Its reports with particular views:
With this bias abundant,
It’s absurdly redundant
To call what it offers “fake news.”

From the archive

TWITS
It may be just the biggest lie ever,
Making saner sorts say, “Well, I never!”
But celebrities tweet it
And you have to repeat it
If you want to sound current and clever.
(2014)

PROJECTIONISTS
It’s a simple, effective deceit:
Those called “racist” are doomed to defeat,
Yet the ones with most gall,
The most racist of all,
Are the pandering liberal elite.
(2014)

DETOX
Take the pledge and escape from its grip,
Nevermore from this moment a nip:
If you value your brain,
You must henceforth refrain
From the vile Mainstream Media drip.
(2014)

FIFTH COLUMN
Our brave battle for self-preservation
Must address the domestic predation
Of those traitors and fools
– All those socialist tools –
Who are hoping to change our great nation.
(2011)

THE BURROWERS
“Just like Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow,
We’re committed, determined, and thorough:
In the media, the schools,
With our radical rules,
We’re the moles that unceasingly burrow.”
(2011)

BALANCE
“This Talk Radio’s going too far
And we soon will be raising the bar:
In the interest of fairness
And cultural awareness,
Every station will air NPR.”
(2009)

THE RULES
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
(2007)

SAD TIMES
Their respect for the truth may be scanty,
Their perspective outrageously slanty;
Still, despite all their lies,
The posh Pulitzer Prize
Is retained by the Times and Duranty.
(2003)

JENNINGS DOES BASEBALL
“Diehard fans are still cheering and grinning,
Convinced that their favourites are winning:
Yes, their team’s up by ten
And at bat once again,
But it’s taking them more than one inning!”
(2003)

BIRDS OF A FEATHER
The media rarely deride
A President on the same side:
For the faithful defender
Of their social agenda,
They’re willing to let some things slide.
(1998)

THE JOURNALIST
In the past, he was forced to “pay dues”
And develop “a nose for the news.”
Well, he still has a nose,
But, my, how it grows
When the facts must conform to his views!
(1996)

Last week’s limerick

AND THEY’RE OFF!
This past year we had politics plenty,
Until finally who didn’t want the
Campaigning to end
So that we could attend
To the race set for Two-Thousand-Twenty?

SEE YOU LATER, AGITATOR!
Well, I saw Obama talkin’
Like he wouldn’t go away.
Well, I saw Obama talkin’
Like he wouldn’t go away.
When he asked me, “What’s the matter?”
This is what I had to say:

“See you later, agitator!
After ’while, coprophile.
See you later, agitator!
After ’while, coprophile.
Can’t you see you’re in the way now?
Don’t you know you’re out of style?”

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  • Jan 09 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: AND THEY’RE OFF!

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

AND THEY’RE OFF!
This past year we had politics plenty,
Until finally who didn’t want the
Campaigning to end
So that we could attend
To the race set for Two-Thousand-Twenty?

Lagniappe

SEE YOU LATER, AGITATOR!
Well, I saw Obama talkin’
Like he wouldn’t go away.
Well, I saw Obama talkin’
Like he wouldn’t go away.
When he asked me, “What’s the matter?”
This is what I had to say:

“See you later, agitator!
After ’while, coprophile.
See you later, agitator!
After ’while, coprophile.
Can’t you see you’re in the way now?
Don’t you know you’re out of style?”

Last week’s limerick

ABSENCE OF LEAVE
“The campaign had just barely begun
When I did what I ought not have done,
Never guessing I’d rue it,
So you can’t hold me to it:
My rash promise to leave if Trump won.”

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  • Jan 02 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: ABSENCE OF LEAVE

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

ABSENCE OF LEAVE
“The campaign had just barely begun
When I did what I ought not have done,
Never guessing I’d rue it,
So you can’t hold me to it:
My rash promise to leave if Trump won.”

From the archive

NUTS TO CASTRO
Though delusions are hard to dispel,
All it takes is the will to rebel,
But what kind of a chump
Fears the businessman Trump
And adores the dictator Fidel?
(2016)

YUGE MEAL
Trump has won, there’s no way to annul it:
Celebrate with a Thanksgiving pullet,
But, before you eat, nod
And be grateful to God
That our country has just dodged a bullet.
(2016)

GHOSTBUSTERS
Trump supporters must flock to the polls,
Not believe all the negative trolls:
This might be our last chance
To arrest their advance
And outvote all the ghosts on the rolls.
(2016)

PERFECT!
Aren’t elitist Republicans quaint?
They’re offended by his unrestraint?
The alternative’s worse,
But to him they’re averse?
Choose a devil ’cause Trump’s not a saint?
(2016)

MANIA
“That corrupt and incompetent frump
Or that slovenly socialist grump?
Either one would be better
Than a genuine go-getter:
We must do what we can to stop Trump!”
(2016)

DIS ESTABLISHMENT
Bush and Dole and Bush again?
Romney after John McCain?
Reagan and Trump,
You tried to dump?
Grand Old Party, please explain.
(2016)

HOPELESS
They elected a black Forrest Gump,
Whom world leaders dismissed as a chump,
By this churl they were charmed,
Now they say they’re alarmed
At the prospect of President Trump!
(2016)

SELF-CRITICISM
His objections to Trump are so grim
And he makes them with venomous vim,
But Obama misspeaks
‘Cause his cranky critiques
Are more aptly descriptive of him.
(2016)

Last week’s limerick

2017
With last month’s great electoral win,
A new president soon to come in,
And our eight-year-long slump
Sure to end (thanks to Trump),
I can’t wait for next year to begin!

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