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  • Sep 09 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: FACILE FOOLS

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

FACILE FOOLS
It should give the intelligent pause
When proposals to ban plastic straws
And eliminate coal
Are employed by a pol
To elicit a round of applause.

From the archive

ENVIRONMENTAL
They may mince or incinerate birds
And dice bats into quarters or thirds,
Still, wind power is “clean,”
Solar energy “green” –
If you’re willing to redefine words.
(2015)

IXNAY
Every year when they celebrate Earth,
The green socialists generate mirth,
Trying not to betray
The true aim of “Earth Day,”
Which from Pig Latin translates as “dearth.”
(2014)

SOLARCENY
Barry’s Bandits have found a new way
To get rich without working a day:
They’ve no need for a gun,
‘Cause they just use the sun
To get ‘loans’ that they’ll never repay.
(2011)

FAITH IN GORE
“All you skeptics who try to besmirch
Our beliefs will be left in the lurch
As we celebrate dearth
And increase our net worth
At St. Albert Gore’s Climate Change Church.”
(2011)

ARTIFICIAL FAMINE
There’s no benefit to coal
If you cannot dig a hole,
And the value is nil
Of oil you can’t drill.
Who would favor such control?
(2011)

CAP’N TRADE
“Here I come to save the day!
Everyone will have to pay!
I will pull a switch
That will make me rich
As my stock goes up and away!”
(2009)

WELL, WELL, WELL
Well, I’m not exactly thrilled
When I get my gas tank filled,
But it makes my blood boil
To know that there’s oil
In reserves of our own to be drilled.
(2008)

ABATED BREATH
Whether sickly or healthy and hale,
We object when the air gets too stale,
But what shall we do
When they ban CO2
And deny us the right to exhale?
(2001)

DIRTY BUSINESS
“When we measured no parts per million,
raised standards to parts per billion.
We’re the new EPA
And we’ll have it our way,
Finding parts per trillion and zillion!”
(2000)

TREE AMIGOS
You can have all your hullabaloo
And ‘arbor illusions too,
You can care about trees
As much as you please,
But the trees still won’t care about you!
(2000)

GRASS CONSCIOUSNESS
My neighbor’s a tree-hugging pain,
But he’s unsympathetic to grain:
If I chance not to mow
And my grass starts to grow,
He’s the first on the block to complain!
(2000)

ECO-MANIACS
Their abiding misanthropy shows
What’s behind the Earth Firster’s pose,
For these mopes without mirth
Have no love for the earth
And are nothing but Mean Green Joes.
(2000)

CHICKEN LITTLE
Doomsday deadlines bear recalling
When they’ve passed and we’re not sprawling:
If dreaded fate
Is running late,
Then perhaps the sky’s not falling.
(2000)

MATERNITY CASE
Once more, for what it’s worth:
Your mother is not the Earth!
And that’s because
Your mother was
The woman who gave you birth.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

JIMMY CRACKED CORN
The Inspector General’s Report
Has elicited Comey’s retort
That he now has been vindicated,
But the findings have indicated
That he’s likely to end up in court.

  • Sep 02 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: JIMMY CRACKED CORN

JIMMY CRACKED CORN
The Inspector General’s Report
Has elicited Comey’s retort
That he now has been vindicated,
But the findings have indicated
That he’s likely to end up in court.

From the archive

GAME OVER
Though the traitors are trying to spin
In an effort to save their own skin,
They’ve no right to be bitter,
Should stop tweeting on Twitter,
And then man up and turn themselves in.
(2019)

DEEP STATE
They assure us they’re loyal and true
And were not instigating a coup
By creating the illusion
Of Russian collusion.
Well, that’s that. I’m convinced. How about you?
(2018)

A HIGHER ROYALTY
There’s a law that prohibits a crook
From producing a film or a book,
Making even one dime
By exploiting his crime:
Maybe Comey should give it a look.
(2018)

JIM RAT
Comey’s IQ may be higher
And that maybe makes him slyer
Than us common folk,
But he’s still a joke –
And a pathological liar.
(2018)

WELL, DUH!
I had never the slightest confusion
And came easily to this conclusion,
Needing no one to show me
It was Mueller and Comey
With the Clintons engaged in collusion.
(2017)

ONE LAW
Equal justice is our paradigm
And applies to commission of crime.
That’s why Comey and Lynch
Should both feel the “pinch”
And Obama and Clinton do time.
(2017)

Last week’s limerick

THAT’S WHAT HE IS
Disregarding the ones who’ve been dozin’
The last several years and all those in
Denial, everyone knows
Trump’s the one that we chose –
Which is why he can say he’s the chosen.

  • Aug 26 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: THAT’S WHAT HE IS

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

THAT’S WHAT HE IS
Disregarding the ones who’ve been dozin’
The last several years and all those in
Denial, everyone knows
Trump’s the one that we chose –
Which is why he can say he’s the chosen.

From the archive

TDS
Are these symptoms familiar to you:
Bulging eyes and pinched lips turning blue,
Heart a-pounding (thump thump)
At the mention of Trump,
Raw emotions and lowered IQ?
(2018)

Last week’s limerick

WHO, M.E.?
He had dirt on the Clintons, he said,
And the next thing he knew he was dead,
But the coroner lied
And declared suicide
From two shots in the back of the head.

  • Aug 19 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: WHO, M.E.?

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

WHO, M.E.?
He had dirt on the Clintons, he said,
And the next thing he knew he was dead,
But the coroner lied
And declared suicide
From two shots in the back of the head.

From the archive

ENDANGERED SPECIES
Ron Brown was but one of those linked
To the friends of Bill Clinton who blinked.
Who’ll next join the roster
With the late Vincent Foster
Of the cronies confirmed as extinct?
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

GREAT BOILS OF FIRE
Recent research reports now suggest
Rising temperatures mean we’ll be blest
With a boiled seafood treat:
More blue crabs we can eat!
Global warming is all for the best.

  • Aug 12 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: GREAT BOILS OF FIRE

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

GREAT BOILS OF FIRE
Recent research reports now suggest
Rising temperatures mean we’ll be blest
With a boiled seafood treat:
More blue crabs we can eat!
Global warming is all for the best.

From the archive

OOH LA LA!
A fried turkey injected with spice,
Shrimp-stuffed mirlitons and dirty rice,
Pecan pie, oyster dressing –
How we rush through the blessing!
Yes, a Creole Thanksgiving is nice.
(2008)

PRESERVATION CAJUN-STYLE
Save the salmon and save the seal,
Save the gator and save the eel,
The dolphin, the whale,
The mussel, the snail:
Save them all for my next meal.
(2001)

Last week’s limerick

CRISIS MANAGEMENT
“All together now, let’s begin rooting
For more gun control, while we’re imputing
All blame for the fright
To a demonized Right:
Let’s exploit yet another mass shooting.”

  • Aug 05 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: CRISIS MANAGEMENT


Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

CRISIS MANAGEMENT
“All together now, let’s begin rooting
For more gun control, while we’re imputing
All blame for the fright
To a demonized Right:
Let’s exploit yet another mass shooting.”

From the archive

RABID RESPONSE
We hear calls for the banning of guns
Every time a mass murderer stuns,
But if bombs, cars, or knives
Have claimed multiple lives,
We hear calls for the banning of guns.
(2018)

THINK!
Before going all in, why not pause
To research pros and cons of your “cause”?
For example, inquire
Why the murder rate’s higher
In the cities with gun-control laws.
(2017)

ARMS & THE MANDATE
What the Second Amendment defends
Is a right on which all else depends:
To resist subjugation
Of ourselves and our nation
And live free as our Maker intends.
(2016)

PROTECTED CLASS
“When all private gun ownership’s barred,
I’m sure giving up mine won’t be hard:
I’ll be safe as before,
And perhaps even more –
’Cause I’ll have a well-armed bodyguard.”.
(2013)

CONTROLLING PERSONALITY
Though the news out of Newtown was grim,
Mayor Bloomberg’s reaction was dim.
Why we keep and bear arms?
To respond to alarms
And protect us from tyrants like him.
(2012)

FULL DISCLOSURE
A stripper deemed too independent
Was called into court as defendant;
She said of her charms:
“I’ve the right ‘to bare arms’;
It’s enshrined in the Second Amendment.”
(2002)

TOO SAFE
“Wake up, Dear, go downstairs, and look!
I heard a strange noise in the nook!”
“Where’s the key to the lock
On my .380 Glock?”
“Oh, I hung it somewhere on a hook!”
(1999)

WITNESS FOR THE DEFENSE
Anyone who cannot be persuaded
That our gun rights must not be degraded
Should inquire of the Swiss,
Who are armed and don’t miss,
Why it is that they’re never invaded.
(1998)

BETTER READY THAN DEAD
Here’s a survey that needs to be done
On the merits of having a gun:
Ask anyone harmed
By a thug who was armed
If he wishes he, too, had had one.
(1997)

Last week’s limerick

OH, BROTHER!
Ilhan Omar’s incredibly smug
For a woman who looks like a bug
And is guilty of fraud
And in other ways flawed
And now stuck in a hole that she dug.

 



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