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  • Feb 12 / 2018
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Your Weekly Politickle: SLOW DEATH

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SLOW DEATH
As investigators make connections,
Dirty Democrats face rejections:
Their poll numbers will slip
As the facts drip, drip –
Right on up to the midterm elections.

From the archive

WELL, DUH!
I had never the slightest confusion
And came easily to this conclusion,
Needing no one to show me
It was Mueller and Comey
With the Clintons engaged in collusion.
(2017)

URANIUM ONE
To avoid an erroneous conclusion,
Let’s begin by dispelling confusion:
It was Hillary who took
Russian bribes like a crook,
It was Hillary engaged in collusion.
(2017)

ONE LAW
Equal justice is our paradigm
And applies to commission of crime.
That’s why Comey and Lynch
Should both feel the “pinch”
And Obama and Clinton do time.
(2017)

BALLAD OF HILL’RY CLINTON

[to the tune of Davy Crockett]

Married to the governor of Arkansas,
Saw herself and him as above the law.
How that First Lady would scratch and claw
To get some filthy lucre in her grubby paws!
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

At Madison Guaranty Savings & Loan,
The McDougals did their best to throw her a bone.
Everyone went to prison, ‘cept Bill and her alone.
“Whitewatergate” is how that scandal’s known.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

When she got to the White House, there were scandals galore:
There were Travelgate and Fostergate and umpteen more,
Filegate and Chinagate (with help from Al Gore),
Pardongate and other -gates – who can even keep score?
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

In the Senate and at State, there was more of the same:
Trading favors for financing has always been her aim.
For disasters like Bengazi, she refused to take the blame,
Emailgate’s the latest and she acts like it’s a game.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!

She will speak in phony accents ’cause she likes to condescend,
She just uses everybody and has never had a friend,
She deserves to be in prison and that’s where her life should end,
How she expects to be the president is too hard to comprehend.
Hill’ry, Hill’ry Clinton, Queen of the Racketeers!
(2016)

Last week’s limerick

BROKE IN CHINA
Though they say that we owe them much debt,
They discount intellectual theft:
Just subtract what they stole,
We’ll be paid up in whole –
With a deficit due from them left.

  • Feb 05 / 2018
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Your Weekly Politickle: BROKE IN CHINA

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

BROKE IN CHINA
Though they say that we owe them much debt,
They discount intellectual theft:
Just subtract what they stole,
We’ll be paid up in whole –
With a deficit due from them left.

From the archive

CHINESE BANDITS
We are told that our nation’s in debt
And our balance of trade is upset,
But our deficit’s swollen
Because China has stolen
All American goods it could get.
(2012)

CHINA PATTERN
“We will tar fossil fuels as ‘unclean,’
Promote other resources as ‘green.’
There’s a catch, which, of course, is
That those greener resources
Are controlled by our red war machine.”
(2011)

THEY’RE PLAYING OUR SONG
Our nation is destined for grief
If our leader has no fixed belief
And conclusions are drawn
As to whose side he’s on
When China plays “Hail to the Chief!”
(1998)

BILL IN A CHINA SHOP
Campaign prospects are more sunny
When the coffer’s full of money.
Leave it to Bill
To fill the till
With money that is funny!
(1996)

RIADY OR NOT, HERE WE COME!
“Though funds that the DNC spent
Did arise in the Orient,
Our designs are disputable,
Lippo’s motives inscrutable —
Can you prove that we’re not innocent?”
(1996)

Last week’s limerick

STARTERS
Trump has done what he said that he would,
He has done it as fast as he could,
Plus, Obama is out,
Hillary’s lost all her clout,
And the state of the union is good.

  • Jan 29 / 2018
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Your Weekly Politickle: STARTERS

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

STARTERS
Trump has done what he said that he would,
He has done it as fast as he could,
Plus, Obama is out,
Hillary’s lost all her clout,
And the state of the union is good.

From the archive

TOO MUCH WINNING
If you liked this year much more
Than the eight that went before,
Just wait and see
What another three
Or seven have in store.
(2017)

2017
With last month’s great electoral win,
A new president soon to come in,
And our eight-year-long slump
Sure to end (thanks to Trump),
I can’t wait for next year to begin!
(2016)

SOT-U
Here’s a drinking game you’ll want to try
If your goal is to get really high:
Watch Obama’s address
And then drink (to excess)
Every time he says I, me, or my.
(2015)

STATE OF THE UNION
This past year has gone by in a blur
And Obama has lost his allure,
But he’s yet to be thwarted
And is just getting started:
Three more years of this glib saboteur!
(2010)

BARACK AROUND THE CLOCK
Get ready, Blogger Nation,
For the pettifog-oration:
Cue the abstractions
And the cultic reactions!
It’s Obama’s inauguration!
(2009)

Last week’s limerick

CHUCK ‘EM!
When most workers are deemed “nonessential”
And their absence proves inconsequential,
Maybe voters will see
And we all can agree
Schumer’s shutdown was truly prudential.

  • Jan 22 / 2018
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Your Weekly Politickle: CHUCK ‘EM!

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

CHUCK ‘EM!
When most workers are deemed “nonessential”
And their absence proves inconsequential,
Maybe voters will see
And we all can agree
Schumer’s shutdown was truly prudential.

From the archive

CRYING GAME
When he wants to, Obama can cry,
But you won’t see a drop in his eye –
No, he won’t shed a tear –
For the million each year
Of babies aborted who die.
(2016)

PROSECUTION FOR THE WITNESS
Having witnessed a hideous crime,
He identified all of the prime
Individuals involved,
But the case is resolved
With the witness the one doing time.
(2015)

CHILDHOOD MEMORY
“I once had a daughter or son.
To this day, I don’t know which one.
I later was wed.
Still, my first child is dead.
Please forgive me for what I have done.”
(2014)

MARCH
No, their numbers are never reported
(If they were, they’d be greatly distorted),
But this year in the throng,
Fifty million-plus strong,
Are the souls of the children aborted.
(2013)

POSTNATAL ABORTION
Oh, the wailing could hardly be shriller
For the fallen abortionist Tiller:
How those pro-choicers burn
With such tender concern
For an infamous serial killer!
(2009)

NO BIG DEAL
Why feel sorry for the slain
While you’re sucking out his brain,
Tearing off of him
Every little limb,
If he cannot feel real pain?
(2005)

DOA
“Shall I never see the morn?
Hear a rattle, bell, or horn?
Or taste the air?
Or touch your hair?
Must I die before I’m born?”
(2005)

MOTHER’S DAZE
“In confusion I resorted
To the ‘choice’ that was exhorted;
Now every day
I cry and pray
For the baby I aborted.”
(2003)

LOST ON EARTH
We’re so eager to find a trace
Of the least little life in space,
But here on Earth
We bar the birth
Of lives we could embrace.
(2001)

CHOICE POSITION
Don’t be fooled by the “pro-choice” ruse
That amoralists use to confuse,
For your choices could
Be bad or good
And it matters how you choose.
(2001)

LEGAL ISSUE
Five Justices’ wanton support
Preserves the grim “right” to abort:
To keep babies alive,
Replace one of those five
And establish a life-choosing Court.
(2000)

TERRIFIED TISSUE
“Oh, Mama, don’t let that thing get me!
Oh, Mama, you’ve not even met me!
Oh, Mama, please give
Me a lifetime to live!
Oh, Mama, you’d never regret me!”
(2000)

Last week’s limerick

DAINTY, AREN’T WE?
“Such a horror has never occurred,
Such a thing never spoken or heard:
We were shocked and dismayed,
Mortified and afraid
When the president said a bad word!”

  • Jan 15 / 2018
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Your Weekly Politickle: DAINTY, AREN’T WE?

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

DAINTY, AREN’T WE?
“Such a horror has never occurred,
Such a thing never spoken or heard:
We were shocked and dismayed,
Mortified and afraid
When the president said a bad word!”

From the archive

GATEKEEPERS
Academia’s vetting our views,
Mainstream media’s spinning our news,
But they seem to forget
That it’s all on the Net:
Their distortions are not what we choose.
(2017)

CAVEAT LECTOR
Boat I bought had great reviews,
Couldn’t wait to take a cruise,
Launched it and – kerplunk! –
Down it went and sunk,
So beware of fake canoes.
(2017)

NEWS SURREAL
Mainstream media’s known to suffuse
Its reports with particular views:
With this bias abundant,
It’s absurdly redundant
To call what it offers “fake news.”
(2017)

THIS IS CNN
“Hey! Hello! Over here! Can’t you see?
I’ve a question to ask! Call on me!
Are you totally blind?
Are you out of your mind?
I’m a big shot who’s seen on TV!”
(2017)

SELF-ANOINTED
“How can anyone belie us
Or suggest we bear a bias?
Our head-tilted-back poses
Let you see up our noses,
Proving we’re ever so pious.”
(2017)

PRESS PASS
“Yes, Obama’s dark past we denied,
His gargantuan gaffes we let slide,
But this Dr. Ben Carson
Comes across like a parson:
We just know he’s got something to hide!”
(2015)

HOIST
Quintanilla and Harwood and Quick
Thought they’d worked out a dynamite shtick:
“Since we’re on the left side,
Let’s be snarky and snide,
Playing dumb as we lay it on thick.”
(2015)

TWITS
It may be just the biggest lie ever,
Making saner sorts say, “Well, I never!”
But celebrities tweet it
And you have to repeat it
If you want to sound current and clever.
(2014)

PROJECTIONISTS
It’s a simple, effective deceit:
Those called “racist” are doomed to defeat,
Yet the ones with most gall,
The most racist of all,
Are the pandering liberal elite.
(2014)

DETOX
Take the pledge and escape from its grip,
Nevermore from this moment a nip:
If you value your brain,
You must henceforth refrain
From the vile Mainstream Media drip.
(2014)

THE BURROWERS
“Just like Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow,
We’re committed, determined, and thorough:
In the media, the schools,
With our radical rules,
We’re the moles that unceasingly burrow.”
(2011)

BALANCE
“This Talk Radio’s going too far
And we soon will be raising the bar:
In the interest of fairness
And cultural awareness,
Every station will air NPR.”
(2009)

IN TOLERANCE
Left-wing radicals running our schools
Do great harm with their inverted rules:
They oppose every norm,
Reject custom and form,
And show deference to freaks and to fools.
(2007)

THE RULES
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
(2007)

BIRDS OF A FEATHER
The media rarely deride
A President on the same side:
For the faithful defender
Of their social agenda,
They’re willing to let some things slide.
(1998)

THE JOURNALIST
In the past, he was forced to “pay dues”
And develop “a nose for the news.”
Well, he still has a nose,
But, my, how it grows
When the facts must conform to his views!
(1996)

INSTANT ANALYSIS
Jennings, Rather, Brokaw
Seem determined to jabber and jaw.
They think we’re too dumb
To discern the outcome
Of the campaign debate we just saw.
(1991)

Last week’s limerick

LIVING DOLL
“Not much longer must I wait
To embrace my perfect mate:
She’s arriving soon
And will make me swoon
When she steps out of her crate.”

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