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  • May 22 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: FORWARD, MARSH!

ANNUAL MAY DAY APPEAL! Donate online via PayPal. Click DONATE button, top right.

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

FORWARD, MARSH!
“We’re surrounded by partisan haters,
Resisters, subversives, and traitors:
We have struggled and strained
To get the swamp drained,
But we’re up to our asses in gators.”

From the archive

SEE YOU LATER, AGITATOR!
Our future would now seem quite bright
If Obama had sought to unite,
If he’d done what he could
To promote brotherhood:
Not the opposite, so to divide.
(2016)

Last week’s limerick

KILL BILL
The excuse the Republican gave
As to why he decided to cave:
“When proffered a purse
Or a ride in a hearse,
I found graft appealed more than the grave.”

  • May 15 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: KILL BILL

ANNUAL MAY DAY APPEAL! Donate online via PayPal. Click DONATE button, top right.

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

KILL BILL
The excuse the Republican gave
As to why he decided to cave:
“When proffered a purse
Or a ride in a hearse,
I found graft appealed more than the grave.”

From the archive

RICHER DOLE
All those Clinton years left Eric colder,
His Obama time left Eric older:
Such experience hardens,
But the selling of pardons
Has undoubtedly left Eric golder.
(2016)

$PEECHE$
She’s about as exciting as clay
And has nothing of interest to say,
But the muckety-mucks
Give her millions of bucks
‘Cause they know that they must pay to play.
(2016)

CASHIFIED INFORMATION
“For accelerated authorization
With regard to above application:
To ensure I approve you,
It might well behoove you
To kick in to my family foundation.”
(2015)

WICKED
Through years the graft extends
And favors for their “friends”:
They plundered like Vandals,
Now Hillary’s scandals
Are burning at both ends.
(2015)

RENTBOY
Were some clients relieved, some dismayed,
By the Homeland Security raid?
Will the customer list
For the mill provide grist:
To protect some, and others “persuade”?
(2015)

ROBERTS’ RULES OF ARDOR
A conservative judge may betray us
By voting in ways that dismay us,
Saving Obamacare
To conceal an affair
And avoid the same fate as Petraeus.
(2012)

APPROPRIATE?
No one curbs what a Congressman spends
Or complains when his earmark offends,
Not while “King Corruption” Murtha
Wields the power of the purser
To provide for his family and friends.
(2007)

DC/BC
We have graft and corruption again,
Just as they did way back when —
And somewhere the progenies
Of the Ancient Diogenes
Are still striving to find honest men.
(2006)

NO JOKE
I’m loath to make light of the lying,
The fraud, the corruption, the spying:
The norms villains shatter
Are no laughing matter,
But the only alternative’s crying.
(2000)

EXTRA INCOME
By dollar, by yen, or by ounce,
One can only surmise the amounts
That a solon retains
As his ill-gotten gains
In his numbered Swiss savings accounts.
(1998)

From the Clinton archive (1996-2000)

BILL IN A CHINA SHOP
Campaign prospects are more sunny
When the coffer’s full of money.
Leave it to Bill
To fill the till
With money that is funny!

BILL PAYING
Pardon him, pardon her, pardon you.
Pardon everyone Bill ever knew.
There’s no need to be frugal:
Pardon Hubbell, McDougall,
Pardon Gore, pardon Hillary too!

CLINTONIAN DIPLOMACY
“We’ll supply whatsoever you need
To ensure your armed forces succeed,
And we won’t make a fuss
If you use them on us,
‘Cause our sole motivation is greed.

RIADY OR NOT, HERE WE COME!
“Though funds that the DNC spent
Did arise in the Orient,
Our designs are disputable,
Lippo’s motives inscrutable —
Can you prove that we’re not innocent?”

Last week’s limerick

ADD VICE & CONSENT
“I’d prefer not to balk or retreat
And deliver another defeat,
But Koskinen and Comey
Have gotten to know me,
And the file they’ve compiled is complete.”

  • May 12 / 2017
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The John Lewis Story, Over and Over Again

Am I the only person sick and tired of hearing John Lewis retell the story of his one brief moment of alleged heroism 54 years ago? What has he done since, for anyone other than himself?

Here’s his latest milking of that moment, an OFA (Organizing for America, or whatever it’s currently called) email opposing efforts to prevent voter fraud:

Friend —

54 years sounds like a long time ago — but in the context of our movement, it’s only a blink.

It’s only been 54 years since I marched with my brothers and sisters from Selma to Montgomery, Alabama.

It’s only been 54 years since we were jailed, beaten, and killed for trying to cast a vote. For trying to participate in democracy, in the United States of America.

This isn’t ancient history. It’s the experience of my life.

Just a few decades ago, we changed the course of history and helped pave the way for the Voting Rights Act — but yesterday, this administration put that legacy under attack.

They signed an executive order to start a commission investigating almost non-existent “voter fraud.” It’s nothing more than a cover for them to threaten our progress — with registration barriers, elimination of early and absentee voting, and rules that obstruct an inclusive democracy.

We cannot let this happen.

President Obama likes to say that the arc of the moral universe doesn’t bend on its own — we have to reach up and pull it towards justice ourselves. On that day 54 years ago, we gave it a mighty pull. We can’t let it snap back.

  • May 08 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: ADD VICE & CONSENT

ANNUAL MAY DAY APPEAL! Donate online via PayPal. Click DONATE button, top right.

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

ADD VICE & CONSENT
“I’d prefer not to balk or retreat
And deliver another defeat,
But Koskinen and Comey
Have gotten to know me,
And the file they’ve compiled is complete.”

From the archive

BIG EARS
Does Obama read my email?
Does Obama tap my phone?
Does he peer into my bedroom
With a dragonfly-shaped drone?

Does he know my favorite color,
Movie, music, and cologne?
Does he know I like chai latte
With a croissant or a scone?

Does he know where I’ve donated,
Where I’ve driven to or flown?
Does he check my charge card charges
Just as if they were his own?

Does he recognize no boundaries
And respect no private zone?
Does Obama lack the decency
To leave us all alone?
(2013)

Last week’s limerick

SPAWN OF SAGAN
They pretend to be men of true science,
But they have an unholy alliance,
For the side that Bill Nye’s on
With Neil deGrasse Tyson
Denies Truth in demonic defiance.

  • May 01 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: SPAWN OF SAGAN

“Your Weekly Politickle” has been provided free of charge online and to email subscribers since 1997, but donations are accepted and appreciated. To donate online via PayPal, click the DONATE button, top right.

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SPAWN OF SAGAN
They pretend to be men of true science,
But they have an unholy alliance,
For the side that Bill Nye’s on
With Neil deGrasse Tyson
Denies Truth in demonic defiance.

From the archive

LOBO WARNING
When Al Junior first raised the alarm,
Some believed there might be some real harm,
But they found out he’d lied
And, the next time he tried,
They just tuned out the boy who cried, “Warm!”
(2015)

FAITH IN GORE
“All you skeptics who try to besmirch
Our beliefs will be left in the lurch
As we celebrate dearth
And increase our net worth
At St. Albert Gore’s Climate Change Church.”
(2011)

WARMAGEDDON
In the end and come what might,
Climate changers may be right:
In the depths of hell,
Where such liars dwell,
Things can get real hot all right!
(2010)

GLOBAL LIES
Global warming was always in doubt,
But they pushed it with all of their clout:
If those climate-change crooks
Really cooked all the books,
Then what else were we lied to about?
(2009)

CAP’N TRADE
“Here I come to save the day!
Everyone will have to pay!
I will pull a switch
That will make me rich
As my stock goes up and away!”
(2009)

SCIENCE SAYS
“Science says beware because
Now it’s warmer than it was.
Just listen to me
And you’ll agree:
Science says what I say it does.”
(2009)

INSIDER TRADING
Do delusions of warming derange
And compel poor Al Gore to act strange?
No, the reason he’s fishin’
For those caps on emission
Is his stock in the carbon exchange.
(2007)

HOTHEAD
Has Al Gore taken too many tokes
On that strange cigarette that he smokes?
Still, the burden of proof
Is on every green goof
Who espouses the climate-change hoax.
(2007)

AN INCONSISTENT BOOB, CONT.
“If superior beings ignore
Certain limits and use a bit more,
Then the peons, I guess,
Will just have to use less,”
Sniffed a gluttonous, glutinous Gore.
(2007)

HOT HEADS
They defend climate change willy-nilly,
And lately they’ve gotten plain silly:
Saying snow, ice, and sleet
Must be caused by the heat —
And that’s why the weather’s so chilly.
(2007)

SNOW DOUBT
As a theory it’s cheesily charming,
Except when the neighborhood’s swarming
With snow, sleet, and ice
From unfair Fahrenheits,
And we’re longing for real global warming.
(2006)

MOWER LESS
While it has been unreasonably hot,
And I do tend to wish it were not,
I am glad to save gas
By not cutting the grass,
’Cause there’s none on my shriveled-up lot.
(2006)

AN INCONSISTENT BOOB
Al Gore worries the world’s getting hot,
And all over the globe he will trot,
Warmly warning the masses
About grave greenhouse gases
Caused by people who travel a lot.
(2006)

HEAT RASHNESS
Every Spring they start their swarming
And fantastical alarming,
Fearing and oh-dearing
That the end is nearing,
’Cause it’s April and it’s warming.
(2006)

WARM MONGERS
Alarmists like to heighten
Anxieties and frighten —
Their aim’s made clear
In State of Fear
By author Michael Crichton.
(2006)

ABATED BREATH
Whether sickly or healthy and hale,
We object when the air gets too stale,
But what shall we do
When they ban CO2
And deny us the right to exhale?
(2001)

TRUTH IN THE BALANCE
The temperature’s not getting higher.
Our environmental future’s not dire.
With the best yet to come,
There’s no need to be glum:
Al Gore, you’re an ozone liar!
(2000)

CHICKEN LITTLE
Doomsday deadlines bear recalling
When they’ve passed and we’re not sprawling:
If dreaded fate
Is running late,
Then perhaps the sky’s not falling.
(2000)

EMISSION IMPOSSIBLE
We’re faced with a problem that’s prickly.
We’d better do something, and quickly.
Forget the suspicions
About greenhouse emissions:
It’s the wind from the White House that’s sickly.
(1999)

VICTIMLESS CLIME
The penguin complained, “It’s too hot!”
The hippo replied, “No, it’s not!”
The gator, when polled,
Insisted, “Too cold!”
And the polar bear grumbled, “What rot!”
(1998)

THINK GULLIBLY, ACT LOCO-LY
The temperature rose in July
Compared to December, quite high.
It’s really alarming
This “seasonal warming.”
Oh, lordy, we’re all gonna fry!
(1997)

FRAUDSTER THE SNOWMAN
Fraudster the Snowman
Was an enterprising pol,
With a trust-fund life
And an upturned nose
And a heart made out of coal.
Fraudster the Snowman
Was a senator, they say.
He was made of snow,
But the voters know
How he came to life one day.
There must have been some magic in
Those tight blue jeans they found,
For when they placed them on his legs
He began to dance around.
O, Fraudster the Snowman
Found a way to live for free.
While the people pay,
He could laugh and play
And drive around in an SUV.
Thumpety thump thump,
Thumpety thump thump,
Look at Fraudster go.
Thumpety thump thump,
Thumpety thump thump,
Over the hills of snow.
Fraudster the Snowman
Knew the sun was hot some days,
So he said, “I’ll hoax
All the stupid folks
And get myself a big pay raise.”
Down to the village,
With a hockey stick in hand
And some bogus graphs
And some doctored stats
Showing crisis for the land.
He led them to his Waterloo,
Where the facts came out at last,
But he never once admitted that
He was just plain full of crap.
For Fraudster the Snowman
Liked to always have his way,
So he waved goodbye
Saying, “Don’t deny,
I’ll be back again some day.”
Thumpety thump thump,
Thumpety thump thump,
Look at Fraudster go.
Thumpetty thump thump,
Thumpety thump thump,
Over the hills of snow.
(2009)

Last week’s limerick

DESENSITIZATION
We’re mainstreaming perverted carnality
(Homophilia to bestiality),
But remove the taboo
And they’re less “fun” to do:
That’s the fitting, ironic reality.

  • Apr 24 / 2017
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Your Weekly Politickle: DESENSITIZATION

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

DESENSITIZATION
We’re mainstreaming perverted carnality
(Homophilia to bestiality),
But remove the taboo
And they’re less “fun” to do:
That’s the fitting, ironic reality.

From the archive

YIKES!
“You may claim that you’re not anti-gay,
But to prove that you mean what you say
You must now demonstrate
That you really don’t hate –
And to do that, there’s only one way.”
(2016)

YOU’RE IN DOUBT?
“If you’re not really sure of your stance
As to bathrooms, then why take a chance?
Confused about gender?
Do what I do: Surrender —
And just stand there and pee in your pants.”
(2016)

DEAD END
Though the mob is completely insane, though
They cause everyone so much pain, though
They shout and shove
And call it “love,”
There is death at the end of the rainbow.
(2015)

UNLOCKER ROOM
In the past when a pervert would peek,
He’d be met with a slap or a shriek:
Now he says he’s a woman,
Is entitled to come in,
Not be treated like some kind of freak.
(2015)

THE ADVOCATE
No man’s perfect, nor ever has been:
We fall over and over again,
And, while some turn to prayer,
Many others despair
Or crusade on behalf of their sin.
(2015)

AGITPROP
Maybe three in a hundred are bent,
And one tenth of that number intent
On pretending to wed
Same-sex partners instead:
All this turmoil for three-tenths percent?
(2012)

BULLIES
In the 50s our fathers knew best,
But back then they could scarcely have guessed
That a mere three percent
Who are sexually bent
Would intimidate all of the rest.
(2012)

CZARDOM & GOMORRAH
“We are in your schools now and polluting
All the innocent minds we’re rebooting:
There’ll be total immersion
In every perversion
And the schools will be safe for recruiting.”
(2011)

BAD SAMARITANS
When a brother has wandered astray,
Those who love him will show him the way;
Those who follow the fashion
Of corrupted compassion
Will assure him his sin is okay.
(2010)

SAFE AND UNSOUND
There’s “safe sex” and “safe schools” and “safe touch,”
“Safe this” and “safe that” and “safe such,”
But, if “safe” now means “queer”
And is said with a leer,
The word “safe” doesn’t comfort me much.
(2009)

IN TOLERANCE
Left-wing radicals running our schools
Do great harm with their inverted rules:
They oppose every norm,
Reject custom and form,
And show deference to freaks and to fools.
(2007)

LAWRENCE V. TEXAS
The evil with which men are ridden
In normal times hardly is hidden,
But no era’s more awful
Than when vice is made lawful
And propriety, then, is forbidden.
(2003)

NOVEL IDEA
In The Wanting Seed, Anthony Burgess
Prophesied the preposterous purges
He knew surely would come
When the righteous play dumb
And the vicious give vent to their urges.
(2003)

Last week’s limerick

PASSING FAD
“I’m embracing the latest sensation,
This new craze that is sweeping the nation:
I was white, now I’m black,
And I’m not going back,
I’m a pigment of my imagination.”

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