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  • Dec 13 / 2008
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Diet Plans that Make a Statement

With health and weight consciousness all the rage, and diet after patented diet plan topping the bestseller list, the pressure on doctors and nutritionists to develop and christen original diet plans is formidable. The pressure has, in fact, extended to laymen, with the result that many a timely tome testifies to an expertise on food that consists wholly of a lifetime of eating it. The regimens published to date, however, possess a disconcerting uniformity. Though their focus may shift from starches to vegetables to proteins, the diets of the day display a consistent lack of imagination. — “Lite Motif,” F.R. Duplantier, 1984

My lampoon of fad diets, excerpted above, appeared in New Orleans Magazine in the summer of 1984 — can’t remember how I talked them into running it. I initially pitched it, unsuccessfully, to several women’s magazines, then switched gears completely and went the academic route. A journal called Obesity and Bariatric Medicine actually did accept it, but suspended publication just prior to the issue in which it would have appeared. Such a pity. I was really looking forward to shocking my doctor-brother with the announcement that I had been published in a medical journal!

If you’re not interested in making a statement and just want to look slimmer, you may prefer my Photoshop Diet.

  • Dec 12 / 2008
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Our Lady of Guadalupe, Pray for Us!

The first year we were married, way back in 1986, my Mom gave us a beautiful wooden carved statue of Our Lady of Guadalupe. She is very special to us and has always held a very special place in our home. In 2002 we discovered how special we are to her. — Evann Duplantier

In a recent post on her own blog, my wife tells the story of how Our Lady of Guadalupe appeared in front of our house and brought us a new dear friend who provided our daily bread for several years.

  • Dec 12 / 2008
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City That Care Forgot

Everyone in New Orleans still has a Katrina story, and, like the old sailor in Coleridge’s “Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” everyone is still eager to tell it. — Wes Pruden, Washington Times

Wes Pruden is the last of the great American newspaper editors, and his comments on New Orleans, which he knows well, always hit the mark. As a kid, I often wondered why our most successful native sons all seemed to be emigres, Louis Armstrong being the prime example. But each time I moved away — to Lafayette, just 150 miles to the west, in 1976, to Boston in 1986, and to St. Louis in 1995 — my fortunes improved immediately. New Orleans certainly shaped my character and personality in my youth, but it also seemed to stifle me as I got older. When I last moved back in 1991, I knew immediately that I had made a mistake and couldn’t wait to move away again. Something is desperately wrong there, and whatever it is is not likely to change.

  • Dec 10 / 2008
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Global Warming Hoax Implodes

The UN global warming conference currently underway in Poland is about to face a serious challenge from over 650 dissenting scientists from around the globe who are criticizing the climate claims made by the UN IPCC and former Vice President Al Gore. — Mark Morano, Inhofe EPW Press Blog

You wouldn’t believe all the nasty email I’ve gotten on this subject over the years, in response to articles and limericks I’ve written expressing skepticism about the danger/existence/manmade nature of global warming — much of it, alas, from propagandized students. Is the hoax finally running its course? Let’s hope so.

  • Dec 10 / 2008
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What’s My Sign?

Solution to the alleged problem of overpopulation.

I’m a Leo and a monkey, but my real sign has nothing to do with the zodiac or the Chinese calendar, and it changes all the time. My sign is made out of metal, is attached to my mailbox, and has magnetic letters on it. I’ve been putting silly, cryptic, and inspirational messages on it for 10 years now. It’s become a local landmark and was even written up in a suburban weekly.

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