With health and weight consciousness all the rage, and diet after patented diet plan topping the bestseller list, the pressure on doctors and nutritionists to develop and christen original diet plans is formidable. The pressure has, in fact, extended to laymen, with the result that many a timely tome testifies to an expertise on food that consists wholly of a lifetime of eating it. The regimens published to date, however, possess a disconcerting uniformity. Though their focus may shift from starches to vegetables to proteins, the diets of the day display a consistent lack of imagination. — “Lite Motif,” F.R. Duplantier, 1984
My lampoon of fad diets, excerpted above, appeared in New Orleans Magazine in the summer of 1984 — can’t remember how I talked them into running it. I initially pitched it, unsuccessfully, to several women’s magazines, then switched gears completely and went the academic route. A journal called Obesity and Bariatric Medicine actually did accept it, but suspended publication just prior to the issue in which it would have appeared. Such a pity. I was really looking forward to shocking my doctor-brother with the announcement that I had been published in a medical journal!
If you’re not interested in making a statement and just want to look slimmer, you may prefer my Photoshop Diet.