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  • Nov 18 / 2008
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Oh No, Here They Come!

Fruitcakes are a staple of the holiday season, but what if you don’t like them? You may just be stuck, says fruitcakeologist F.R. Duplantier, who warns that it’s nearly impossible to unload the “spice-baked albatross” once you’ve accepted delivery.

On Monday, December 12, 2004, I sent out a limerick about fruitcakes to my politickles subscriber list. Friday, my friend Charley told me he’d heard Paul Harvey reading it that morning on his radio program. Amazing! I also sent out the silly press release excerpted above and wound up being interviewed on morning drive-time radio programs in several major markets. What a wacky world!

  • Nov 17 / 2008
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Eucharistic Miracles

The Eucharistic Miracles Exhibit, St. Anselm Parish

The Eucharistic Miracles Exhibit at St. Anselm Parish in Creve Coeur

This weekend, our parish hosted an exhibit of Eucharistic miracles: a pictorial account of 126 Vatican-approved miracles involving the Blessed Sacrament. Midwestern churches interested in hosting the exhibit in their own area are encouraged to contact “Body of Christ Outreach” at 636-928-0384.

  • Nov 17 / 2008
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Your Weekly Politickle

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

NO CHILD LEFT
If a kid is a bit of a scamp
And resists the new socialist stamp,
He will be reassigned
And his mind realigned
At a reeducational camp.

Archive:

THE LIKENESS MONSTER
How grim is the socialist plan
To create a new socialist man,
Who’ll be malleably meek
And in no way unique
In a world that is hopelessly bland.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick:

HOPE AGAINST HOPE
By nefarious allies surrounded,
With socialist nostrums propounded,
Obama has won,
The change has begun,
And I hope that my fears are unfounded.

  • Nov 16 / 2008
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Fan Mail

Marvin responded to last week’s Obama-themed politickle with this constructive suggestion: “Get a life.” Good advice, certainly, even for a father of six, like me, whose life is pretty full; but, still, it left me wondering what prompted his proffer, so I wrote back: “Was it something in particular that set you off?” No response. An unsolved mystery! (Where’s Robert Stack when you need him?) Assuming that Marvin’s wise counsel concealed a desire to unsubscribe, I reluctantly obliged. Perhaps the prodigal subscriber will return some day.

Later in the week, a more uplifting communique arrived from Odell: “I have not received any politickles for several weeks. Are you too busy? Or are you ill? I pray not, because I cannot function without politickles.”

Both Marvin and Odell have been on my subscribers list for several years, but I don’t know either one personally. Nevertheless — being, to some extent, human — I can’t help feeling more favorably disposed toward Odell. I made sure her address was back on the list (from which it had been mistakenly purged during a recent cleansing) and assured her that, like the U.S. mail, the Weekly Politickle is, and always has been, delivered rain or shine:

I’ve been sending out a politickle every week for 10+ years now and have never been too busy or too sick to get one out. So, if and when production really does stop, please say a prayer for the repose of my soul.

  • Nov 15 / 2008
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The Ayers Plan

In this 1980s documentary, an FBI informant who successfully infiltrated the Weather Underground recalls how Obama friend and mentor Bill Ayers once planned to overthrow the U.S. government and establish reeducation camps to create a new socialist man. He astutely realized that not everyone would be amenable to his plan and accordingly projected that 25 million of us would have to be eliminated. Ten percent of the American people. (That would be 30 million today.)

  • Nov 14 / 2008
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YouTube Favorites

We don’t have cable and gave up trying to find something worth watching on broadcast television years ago (the Triple Crown races being the sole exceptions). We do own dozens of classic films and cartoons on videotape and cd, however, which we rewatch regularly. We also rent movies frequently (free of charge) from the local library.

Recently, while searching for some of my favorite cartoons online, to see if they were available for purchase or rental, I was delighted to find many of them posted on YouTube and have spent many a pleasant evening since enjoying them with my children: Eek the Cat, Mother Goose & Grimm, The Ant and the Aardvark, The King & Odie, Go Go Gophers, etc.

This week, I found several of my favorite TV shows on YouTube — Fawlty Towers, Jeeves & Wooster, Frank’s Place — and decided to add them to the “favorites” on my YouTube channel. Frank’s Place is set in New Orleans at a restaurant very carefully modeled on the world-famous Chez Helene, where chef Austin Leslie served up the best soul food (fried chicken, stuffed peppers, red beans & rice, etc.) in the city. The chef in the program is his spitting image.

I also added videos of some of my favorite New Orleans/Louisiana bands: the Neville Brothers, Chuck Carbo & the Spiders, Beausoleil, Bourre. Beausoleil played at my wedding reception in 1986; Bourre played at my sister’s in 1991. The Bourre video is actually an interview with bandleader Bruce Daigrepont, who established a weekly fais do do at Tipitina’s in New Orleans 22 years ago.

  • Nov 13 / 2008
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How Do They Know?

The church we go to, St. Anselm’s, is in a heavily wooded section of St. Louis County. There’s a deer crossing sign on the main road just before the entrance to the parking lot. One day my wife was talking to some other women in the parish about the abundance of deer in the area and one of them mentioned the sign, at which point another woman asked: “How do they know to cross there?”

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