The Year in Verse
A Politickles Retrospective
You can say you were somehow deprived,
But the warnings online were archived:
It’s apparent that you
Just do not have a clue
And don’t know that the storm has arrived.
When you offered to hire us [cough, cough],
We did not have the virus [cough, cough].
Rest assured, then, that we [cough],
Are still virus-free [cough],
So there’s no need to fire us [cough, cough].
I have followed the experts’ commands,
Blocking access to all of my glands:
There’s not one single trace
Of a germ on my face,
And I’ve scrubbed all the skin off my hands.
There once was a woman named Beth
Who experienced shortness of breath:
The Wuhan Flu panic
Was making her manic,
And the fretter was frightened to death.
RUNNING ON EMPTY
“I’m Joe Biden, I’m running for press event!
What I mean is, I’m running for peppermints!
Folks, I’m not really senile,
You can trust me, and meanwhile:
I’m Joe Biden, I’m running for Pepsodent!”
“I was pleased I secured your consent
About giving up something for Lent,
But, instead of rich sweets,
You’re abstaining from beets?
Son, you misunderstood what I meant.”
Bernie and Lizzie and Joe,
Petey and Amy all show
To be presidential:
This pathetic selection’s no-go.
Please be patient, you’re in for a treat,
Grab some popcorn and find a good seat,
Soon the show will begin
And the good guys will win
As the bad guys go down to defeat.
When I urged her, “Put down your carafe,
Read this limerick, and have a good laugh,”
She made faces a lot,
Threw a fit like a tot,
And then stood up and tore it in half.
Once impeachment is finally done,
We can then start to have some real fun,
Watching Democrats squirm
As the tables are turned
And they find that they’ve no place to run.
LOOKS GOOD TO MEME
I’m reluctant to act like a rash wag,
But I’m anxious to launch a new hashtag
And to see my neat theme
Be the next viral meme –
If I don’t toss it into the trash bag.
When a vigorous inward migration
Overwhelms an effete population,
People have to be dumb
Not to know the outcome:
What will follow is sure subjugation.
Of a scandal, there’s not been a whiff?
Biden, Kerry, Pelosi, and Schiff
All have ties to Ukraine
That they cannot explain:
It’s no longer a question of if.
THE MULLAH REPORT
Soleimani got snuffed in Iraq
While preparing another attack,
And the mullahs are vexed
’Cause they know they’ll be next
If they’re stupid enough to strike back.