The Year in Verse
A Politickles Retrospective
Are the Democrats singing the blues?
Are they drowning their sorrows in booze
And resorting to rants
As they pee in their pants?
I would not want to be in their shoes.
Two dozen Dems vie for domination
To see who can get the nomination,
But whomever they choose
The Democrats lose
Because every one’s an abomination.
(as sung by HRC)
I can’t remember if I cried
When I realized I’d been denied,
But something scorched me deep inside
The day “collusion” died.
Why? Why? My American spies –
Comey, Brennan, and their brethren –
Were unethical guys,
But those good old boys
Came up empty and dry,
Leaving me no way to defy
Leaving me no way to defy.
I was a homely, enraged, pompous frump
With an insane notion I could outwit Trump,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day “collusion” died.
I started singing Why? Why? ETC.
People say that a college degree
Is a right and it ought to be free:
If you get out of college
With no valuable knowledge,
Maybe free is the way it should be.
“An illegal, a felon, a tot,
A nonresident, even a bot:
They should all get to vote
And be part of the tote,
Whether living or human or not.”
Robert Mueller was forced to conclude
Donald Trump is incredibly shrewd:
Though it looks to the throng
Like he did nothing wrong,
He conspired so as not to collude.
All the peoples on earth, all the nations,
Have endured some unjust subjugations:
Is there one you can name
Who cannot make a claim
To their long overdue reparations?
“I’m a man. No, a woman. No, man.
I change gender as fast as I can.
Call me ‘him,’ call me ‘her,’
But you’d better concur
With the gender I currently am.”
“Mr. President, please don’t be mad.
We’re so sorry if we made you sad.
We were only just kidding
That you did Russia’s bidding.
It’s not like we did something bad.”
Robert Mueller at last retires
Without adding more fuel to the fires.
It was nothing but lies!
Now it’s time to go after the liars.
What they did way back when and kept hid
Are the things they now claim that Trump did:
To establish equivalence
And encourage ambivalence
Is their latest, most desperate bid.
Lenten Fridays, abstaining from meat,
There are limits to what I can eat:
I’ve no choice but to scrimp
And eat Barbecued Shrimp,
Blackened Redfish, and Oysters Lafitte.
ROE v. PPFA
A class action suit surely should
Be filed against Planned Parenthood
For the women they lied to,
And the babies that died, too:
Would you rule for these victims? I would.
MCCABE AND MR. MUELLER
It’s the story of Andy and Bob
And the president they tried to rob
By staging a coup
With charges untrue
On behalf of the Insider mob.
She may sound like she’s been on a bender,
But this babbling, bug-eyed bartender
Has great knowledge and skill:
If you ask her, she will
Make a pitcher of drinks in a blender.
“OMG! Can it possibly be
No one’s had this idea before me?
To recoup what we spent,
Tax one hundred percent
And make everything everywhere free!”
All the fussbudgets waiting to see
Where “The State of the Union” will be!
I don’t care if it’s here
Or instead over there:
Its location means nothing to me.
When the March for Life ended, a crowd
Of hate-spewing racists got loud
And those Covington kids
With their red MAGA lids
Were accosted by lying “Red Cloud.”
PRESS INTO SERVICE
Just what kind of a wall should we pick?
We don’t need one of steel or of brick:
Give Acosta the order
To stand on the border.
Who could penetrate someone that thick?
REWARD & PUNISHMENT
Those sweet carrots on a string
And hard sticks you sometimes swing –
When too often denied
Or too often applied –
Lose their sapor and their sting.
Let us give you some advice:
You’ve already rolled the dice,
You had your turn,
And it’s time you learn
That we won’t nominate you twice.