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2017

2017

The Year in Verse
A Politickles Retrospective

MEMORIAL DAY
If you’re honest and also well-bred,
You’ll pay homage to all who have bled
– Wearing blue, wearing gray –
And on this special day
Also honor Confederate dead.

FORWARD, MARSH!
“We’re surrounded by partisan haters,
Resisters, subversives, and traitors:
We have struggled and strained
To get the swamp drained,
But we’re up to our asses in gators.”

KILL BILL
The excuse the Republican gave
As to why he decided to cave:
“When proffered a purse
Or a ride in a hearse,
I found graft appealed more than the grave.”

ADD VICE & CONSENT
“I’d prefer not to balk or retreat
And deliver another defeat,
But Koskinen and Comey
Have gotten to know me,
And the file they’ve compiled is complete.”

SPAWN OF SAGAN
They pretend to be men of true science,
But they have an unholy alliance,
For the side that Bill Nye’s on
With Neil deGrasse Tyson
Denies Truth in demonic defiance.

DESENSITIZATION
We’re mainstreaming perverted carnality
(Homophilia to bestiality),
But remove the taboo
And they’re less “fun” to do:
That’s the fitting, ironic reality.

PASSING FAD
“I’m embracing the latest sensation,
This new craze that is sweeping the nation:
I was white, now I’m black,
And I’m not going back,
I’m a pigment of my imagination.”

BURST OF IRE
Now their rage is at its peak
As we turn the other cheek:
Because of Christ
We are despised
All the more in Passion Week.

ANON.
There are times I’d like to boast
Or be honored by a toast
And have my name
Receive acclaim,
But I can’t ’cause I’m a ghost.

DNR
Extreme measures we should disavow,
The poor thing will not last anyhow,
It is sad but it’s true,
There’s no more we can do:
Let Obamacare die in peace now.

DC COMICS
The ones who are putting him down
Are the biggest buffoons in this town:
Who doesn’t know those
Who do this are bozos,
Those who say Donald Trump is a clown?

FALL START
From the clock that I keep on the wall
I acquired one more hour last Fall,
But I never did use it
And will now likely lose it:
Tell me what was the point of it all?

BARACKSTABBER
Our new president has competition
And will soon have to make a decision:
Should his predecessor be
Allowed to roam free
Or arrested and tried for sedition?

BOEUF GRAS
Who’s that marching and what’s their big beef?
Not more malcontents flaunting faux grief?
No, it’s Mardi Gras Day
And it’s revelers at play:
Joie de vivre is the only motif.

THIS IS CNN
“Hey! Hello! Over here! Can’t you see?
I’ve a question to ask! Call on me!
Are you totally blind?
Are you out of your mind?
I’m a big shot who’s seen on TV!”

FAMILY VALUES
“You’re a member of the Left to me –
A brother, uncle, nephew, see?
You can rape my wife
Or take my life:
It’s okay if you’re a ‘refugee.’”

SUPER BAWL
Seeing tirades and tantrums begin
Well before Donald Trump was sworn in,
Fake adults throwing fits
Like some overgrown kids,
Aren’t you glad these big brats didn’t win?

MENDING WALL
There’s no need to rattle sabers
Just because we’re checking papers:
We will build a wall
To screen them all
‘Cause good fences make good neighbors.

SELF-ANOINTED
“How can anyone belie us
Or suggest we bear a bias?
Our head-tilted-back poses
Let you see up our noses,
Proving we’re ever so pious.”

NEWS SURREAL
Mainstream media’s known to suffuse
Its reports with particular views:
With this bias abundant,
It’s absurdly redundant
To call what it offers “fake news.”

AND THEY’RE OFF!
This past year we had politics plenty,
Until finally who didn’t want the
Campaigning to end
So that we could attend
To the race set for Two-Thousand-Twenty?

SEE YOU LATER, AGITATOR!
Well, I saw Obama talkin’
Like he wouldn’t go away.
Well, I saw Obama talkin’
Like he wouldn’t go away.
When he asked me, “What’s the matter?”
This is what I had to say:

“See you later, agitator!
After ‘while, coprophile.
See you later, agitator!
After ‘while, coprophile.
Can’t you see you’re in the way now?
Don’t you know you’re out of style?”

ABSENCE OF LEAVE
“The campaign had just barely begun
When I did what I ought not have done,
Never guessing I’d rue it,
So you can’t hold me to it:
My rash promise to leave if Trump won.”